Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads.....
It's been a while, and here I am again. I'm not bringing an in-depth look at my daily life, or this past weekend with me though. It's just me, a few thoughts, and that's all. Come along with me.
I don't know how I feel about this place anymore. I think last year my mind was too flooded by the novelty of it all. I was out on my own at college, I was at the place I had dreamed of going to since I was old enough to know what college was. I didn't take the time to really stop and analyze this place for what it is. Now, the novelty has worn off and the analysis is taking place. The Diag is no longer a picturesque landmark - it's a spot on the ground I pass on the way to class. The buildings have lost their appeal, lost their meaning. It feels like school. Maybe it's because I have become engulfed by this place. Last year, I was home on average every few weeks. This year, I have yet to return. Maybe a trip home is exactly what I need. Maybe I need to go there to realize what here is. I won't find out until Thanksgiving when I make that trip.
After my stellar second semester last year, my supreme scheduling ability seems to have faded. My schedule is too much for me. Seventeen credits, countless papers, endless assignments, and my GPA is sure to take a hit. Not what I need on the eve of applying to secondary school. I am trying to push the thoughts of what will happen if I don't get in out of my head. Things could change drastically. Two years down the drain.
I feel old lately. Maybe it's because I am closer and closer to ending my teenage years. There is something to be said about making the next step in life, but I am not sure that I am ready. Things are changing fast around me and I feel as though I can't keep up. I feel stuck, in between the layers of life. Too mature for the simple joys of adolescence, yet too immature to be a part of adult society. I don't fit in one place or the other. Maybe I don't have to. Maybe I am right where I should be.
Things aren't all lost and upsetting though. There is a shining beacon through the fog in my head, and she is my world. Yes, things in the relationship portion of my life are still excellent. No matter how down things get, no matter how down it seems they promise to be, I always have a way to get back up. The love of my life is never more than a phone call away. A simple conversation can change an attitude, a mood, everything in an instant. I am thankful every day when I wake up and know that she is a part of my life. This thing called love is every bit as good as I hoped it would be. A feeling unlike any other. Powerful and soft at the same time. Call it fate, destiny, or whatever you will. I have found the one that I am meant to be with. While the distance can separate our bodies for years, it will never separate our hearts.
And so there it is. Just a few thoughts that have been spinning in my head lately. It helped to get them out. Whether or not people read them is not the point, I just need to get them out. I might be back sooner than later.
Thanks Live Journal. It's good to see you again. Maybe I will bring back a Weekend Update sometime, for old times' sake. I've got other stuff I would like to post too. We'll see.
Live a simple life in a quiet town - steady as she goes
Brandon
Random Song Lyrics:
It's one of those days
When nobody's home
Everyone's here
But you're all alone
It's one of those nights
Where everyone's cold
But they're standing on ice
And it's all your fault
from "Exchanging Two Hundred" by The Early November
I don't know how I feel about this place anymore. I think last year my mind was too flooded by the novelty of it all. I was out on my own at college, I was at the place I had dreamed of going to since I was old enough to know what college was. I didn't take the time to really stop and analyze this place for what it is. Now, the novelty has worn off and the analysis is taking place. The Diag is no longer a picturesque landmark - it's a spot on the ground I pass on the way to class. The buildings have lost their appeal, lost their meaning. It feels like school. Maybe it's because I have become engulfed by this place. Last year, I was home on average every few weeks. This year, I have yet to return. Maybe a trip home is exactly what I need. Maybe I need to go there to realize what here is. I won't find out until Thanksgiving when I make that trip.
After my stellar second semester last year, my supreme scheduling ability seems to have faded. My schedule is too much for me. Seventeen credits, countless papers, endless assignments, and my GPA is sure to take a hit. Not what I need on the eve of applying to secondary school. I am trying to push the thoughts of what will happen if I don't get in out of my head. Things could change drastically. Two years down the drain.
I feel old lately. Maybe it's because I am closer and closer to ending my teenage years. There is something to be said about making the next step in life, but I am not sure that I am ready. Things are changing fast around me and I feel as though I can't keep up. I feel stuck, in between the layers of life. Too mature for the simple joys of adolescence, yet too immature to be a part of adult society. I don't fit in one place or the other. Maybe I don't have to. Maybe I am right where I should be.
Things aren't all lost and upsetting though. There is a shining beacon through the fog in my head, and she is my world. Yes, things in the relationship portion of my life are still excellent. No matter how down things get, no matter how down it seems they promise to be, I always have a way to get back up. The love of my life is never more than a phone call away. A simple conversation can change an attitude, a mood, everything in an instant. I am thankful every day when I wake up and know that she is a part of my life. This thing called love is every bit as good as I hoped it would be. A feeling unlike any other. Powerful and soft at the same time. Call it fate, destiny, or whatever you will. I have found the one that I am meant to be with. While the distance can separate our bodies for years, it will never separate our hearts.
And so there it is. Just a few thoughts that have been spinning in my head lately. It helped to get them out. Whether or not people read them is not the point, I just need to get them out. I might be back sooner than later.
Thanks Live Journal. It's good to see you again. Maybe I will bring back a Weekend Update sometime, for old times' sake. I've got other stuff I would like to post too. We'll see.
Live a simple life in a quiet town - steady as she goes
Brandon
Random Song Lyrics:
It's one of those days
When nobody's home
Everyone's here
But you're all alone
It's one of those nights
Where everyone's cold
But they're standing on ice
And it's all your fault
from "Exchanging Two Hundred" by The Early November