(no subject)
I hate who I've become.
I was doing sooooooo well. Then a couple of careless days can just fuck up everything I've worked so hard for. When I go home for THanksgiving I've got to impress everyone with how much weight I've lost. Everything I had gotten rid of the past couple of weeks I've put back. I'm such an out of control monster. I;m not gonna say I'm gonna fast tomorrow, because I don't want to break it and then hate myself. Although I already do so much. Hopefully I will just be too busy to think about food.
I am so sick of throwing up all the time. Everything on my body aches and hurts and inside i feel like this disgusting ball of ugly and stupid. I hate myself so much right now that I want to cry. I can't wait till i feel hungry again. Then I know I'm winning.
Oh god why did you make me so fucked up?
PLease give me strenght to resist food tomorrow. Make me turn away from everything that tempts me. Leave me full of energy and make me not feel too self conscience to work out at the gym. Let me feel pretty but give me the motivation to keep going. Lose weight lose weight drink water dont eat throw up lose weight drink water drink tea run run run run
I was doing sooooooo well. Then a couple of careless days can just fuck up everything I've worked so hard for. When I go home for THanksgiving I've got to impress everyone with how much weight I've lost. Everything I had gotten rid of the past couple of weeks I've put back. I'm such an out of control monster. I;m not gonna say I'm gonna fast tomorrow, because I don't want to break it and then hate myself. Although I already do so much. Hopefully I will just be too busy to think about food.
I am so sick of throwing up all the time. Everything on my body aches and hurts and inside i feel like this disgusting ball of ugly and stupid. I hate myself so much right now that I want to cry. I can't wait till i feel hungry again. Then I know I'm winning.
Oh god why did you make me so fucked up?
PLease give me strenght to resist food tomorrow. Make me turn away from everything that tempts me. Leave me full of energy and make me not feel too self conscience to work out at the gym. Let me feel pretty but give me the motivation to keep going. Lose weight lose weight drink water dont eat throw up lose weight drink water drink tea run run run run