(no subject)
So I've reached my breaking point today.
I just feel so sick because of the food I just ate. My stomach feels like it could explode. I didn't even eat a lot, it's just how I feel if I eat any food at all and then don't throw up. So I've pretty much given up any chance of a life of normalsy. I hate hate hate hate the way I look and the way that I feel all the time.
Also I have to post my weight or I don't do well on my fasts. So after losing weight, I've eventually gained it back. The lowest I've been recently was 137. This morning I was 143 and tonight I was 145.5. So it's sick and disgusting and I'm humiliated that the whole interenet knows my weight, but that's what gives me motivation to keep going with my fasts and restrictions. I'm still hopin for my stg of 125 by Oct 31st. It's a lot in a month, but I'm gonna work really hard. So here it goes.
Sorry you all had to see that disgusting weight, hopefull it will be lower tomorrow when I post.
Here's to not killing myself today.
I just feel so sick because of the food I just ate. My stomach feels like it could explode. I didn't even eat a lot, it's just how I feel if I eat any food at all and then don't throw up. So I've pretty much given up any chance of a life of normalsy. I hate hate hate hate the way I look and the way that I feel all the time.
Also I have to post my weight or I don't do well on my fasts. So after losing weight, I've eventually gained it back. The lowest I've been recently was 137. This morning I was 143 and tonight I was 145.5. So it's sick and disgusting and I'm humiliated that the whole interenet knows my weight, but that's what gives me motivation to keep going with my fasts and restrictions. I'm still hopin for my stg of 125 by Oct 31st. It's a lot in a month, but I'm gonna work really hard. So here it goes.
Sorry you all had to see that disgusting weight, hopefull it will be lower tomorrow when I post.
Here's to not killing myself today.