Osaka: Many Firsts, First Of Many
I just took some medication that's making me sleepy so this is really gonna be disorganised...
It's just dabbles about my time in Osaka in December. God, I miss those ten days so much.
I miss walking with Bernie from the train station back to her apartment when it's already dark out and the temperature has dropped from a comfortable nine degrees to a biting six. The temperature didn't really bother me, though, because I was having too much fun talking with Berine. We'd talk about the stuff we did that day, we'd talk about Jon and Kansei. The railway tracks were on our left and there were apartment buildings and stores on our right. And, on some nights, we'd see a white cat sitting outside the hair salon. It let us pet it and rub its belly. Friendly kitty.
God knows why but out of all the fantastic things I did in Osaka, that's probably what I miss most. Simply walking to Bernie's apartment from the train station at night. No stars are out, and the path is pretty deserted. Then we'd cross the road and go to LAWSON, a convenience store, to buy a bento and breakfast for the next day, as well as chuhai, before heading on to her cosy apartment.
I miss the railroad crossing alarm. I miss using the Japanese yen. I miss the Japanese trains. I miss their vending machines.
Osaka gave birth to a lot of firsts for me too, so maybe that's why I miss it so much: the thrill and the fun of trying new things, living a life that I've always dreamed about but never had. Going out with friends, going to parties (if you can call live concerts that), staying out late, staying out the whole night.
It was in Osaka that I smoked for the first time. Wasn't a big deal. Wasn't really addicting either. I called my mom immediately afterwards and told her and we laughed it off.
The first day I was in Bernie's apartment, we played Cross Road and My Way on repeat on her laptop. She left the music on and went to take a nap while I stayed up using Tumblr, Jon's voice and fade's music still in the background. Just those two songs over and over again for hours.
I remember the forest in Mino-o. It was so beautiful. Made me remember how much I used to love nature. There were red, pink and yellow leaves. It'd been raining earlier that day so water droplets hung from the leaves. Childish as ever, I would hit the branches with my umbrella to make all the water droplets fall. Just for fun.
We (Bernie, Philip and I) walked through the forest for an hour and half, I think, to get to a waterfall. We spent a grand total of five minutes looking at the magnificent thing and then we headed back. It'd gotten dark by then. We came to a cross road. One path had lights. The other was completely dark. Stupidly and spontaneously, I voted for the dark path and we took that one. I regretted it very much because there were lots of stone steps which were really slippery and the entire setting reminded me of horror movies.
This was the sight that welcomed us back from the forest.
Later that night, Philip taught Bernie and I how to dance the Cha-cha-cha. It was still drizzling and I was laughing too much to dance properly so I was just being whizzed around.
It was in Osaka that I infiltrated a university for the time. Bernie'd gone to school earlier that morning and I told her I'd meet her after her class. Following her instructions, I found Kangaku easily and made my way in. No one paid me any attention and I explored the campus, looking for building G, Bernie's building. Then I spent the rest of the day with her and her friends.
It was in Osaka that I went to an izakaya for the first time. There were five of us (two couples and myself #foreveralone). We'd all shared the food and had booze, laughed at sexual innuendos and smoked. I felt so grown-up: there I was sitting at a table with friends, drinking and smoking. Thinking back on it now, my cheeks turn pink. All the things we said, how loud we were being... The waiters who came to our table dominated by empty cups looked amused. Sorta like, "hah, look at these funny and loud gaijin."
It was in Osaka that I got drunk for the first time. It was at the izakaya and I wasn't the only one. All of us were halfway between tipsy and drunk. My surroundings danced and bending down to get my bag from the floor made everything shake even more. It was as if I'd just looked at a spiral .gif that'd make everything else wavy afterwards, though the waves weren't actually in my line of sight. It was as if they were constantly in the corner of my eyes no matter where I looked.
It was in Osaka that I took shots for the first time. Just two, at the Damage Liver live, during the intermission between bands. But it still got me dizzy.
It was in Osaka that I stayed out the whole night for the first time. After the Damage Liver final, after seeing the fade members off, we'd missed the last train back. We went to a nearby izakaya (with two adorable puppies) and had a mini after party there with friends. I'd taken shots and other drinks earlier during the live as well so I was already pretty tipsy. Drank a bit more. Ordered a plate of omurice which I couldn't finish so PEPSI had to eat some for me.
Spent a majority of my time there playing with PP and JJ (the puppies).
Afterwards, to kill time until the first train (5:13am), PEPSI, Bernie and I got ourselves a room at a karaoke place. I immediately lay down on the couch, between PEPSI and Bernie. PEPSI was on my left and I'd placed my bag against him, lying down and using it as a pillow. Bernie was on my right. The two of them karaoke'd a bit. I was really sleepy, so I'd just spectated. Besides, I couldn't ever compete with the two of them, lol.
Later, upon waking (I honestly hadn't even realised I'd fallen asleep), Bernie wasn't in the room and the TV was still on, loud commentary about new songs and new artistes booming from the sound system. I figured Bernie had just gone to the toilet so I wasn't too worried. Then I noticed PEPSI had put his arm around me, and he was asleep too. I felt warm and comfortable, a little shy too.
I like PEPSI. He's cute, funny and surprisingly sweet, even though he picks on me sometimes. We'd constantly messaged each other for a while after meeting in September. We'd even flirted a little (he'd jokingly asked me to become his girlfriend once). He's a huge fan of G, too, and I see a bit of G in him. The way he walks, the way he talks, the way he treats ladies. Very G-like, very romantic.
I shifted a little bit to get more comfortable. It woke him up and he nudged me to sit up a bit. He took my bag-cum-pillow and moved it to the other side of the couch, wordlessly offering his lap instead. I meekly lay down again, this time my head on his lap. He stroked my hair for a while before simply putting his arm around me again. I felt like a little girl. I felt loved.
In the morning, on the train back, Bernie and I had a bit of a girl talk about it (thank god for older sisters because I can't talk to my brothers about this without them threatening to harm PEPSI. They are the stereotypical overprotective older brothers, which is funny at times but then they go, "I'm serious, Belle" and they ruin any dating prospects I may have).
Somehow, though, I feel that that's the end of it, of PEPSI and I. It can't ever become more than what transpired in that karaoke room. He doesn't speak English and my Japanese isn't great. Communication'd be tough if we ever got together. Doesn't stop me from missing him or that night, though... It's good motivation for me to improve my Japanese, if anything.
The following days were fun as well. Spent Christmas Eve with Louise, Henry and Bernie at a buffet restaurant. Then we visited a book shop later on and we laughed at the yaoi manga we found.
Most of Christmas was spent in Bernie's apartment. She wasn't feeling well and I didn't feel like moving anyway. Then I drank a bottle of SMIRNOFF ICE and it made me sleepy so I took a nap. It was the best sleep I'd gotten in a long time. Later on at night, we went out for dinner at a family restaurant. As a result of sleeping so much in the day, though, I couldn't get to sleep. Bernie stayed up with me watching all the SAW movies while I wrote my #DamageLiver report. I eventually forced myself to sleep at 3:30am because I had to get up in 2 hours to catch my Shinkansen to Tokyo.
Walking to the train station from Bernie's apartment that morning was strangely beautiful in its own way and not at all upsetting. I love the nights but that early morning was glorious as well. I felt like an adult, just casually traveling between cities on my own.
I felt like a completely different person while I was in Osaka. Okay, perhaps not completely, but I did feel different. I was more spontaneous, livelier. I wasn't constantly indoors using my laptop but I actually went out and had fun and talked to people. It was really nice.
Hard to imagine it was only ten days. It felt much longer. Though, at the time, it felt too short.
That's always the case, isn't it.
Tomorrow, I go back to school. Hope I don't break down from the realisation that the holidays are over and it's time to work again.