Always With Love- Chapter Eleven
Title: Always With Love
Genre: Romance/Fan Fic/Drama
Pairing: Theo James/OFC
Characters: Theo James, OFC, OC
Warnings: Language, Adult Situations
Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.
Summary: For the last ten years, Theo has loved Lindsay. For the last three years, Lindsay has been a bit of a prisoner in her own life. For two people who were supposed to have it all, life sure turned out to be cruel. Caught up in life and all the dismay it sometimes brings can be challenging, even more so when the person you love is slowly slipping away.
Chapter Eleven
Sitting in the car, Theo's jaw tensed and relaxed a number of times. Each time Lindsay waited for him to speak, but he didn't. Silently staring at her hands, folded neatly in her lap, Lindsay remained just as silent. Every few seconds she would steal a glance at Theo and then quickly look away. From the driver's seat, Theo kept his eyes on the building in front of him, taking a glance or two out the side window but never directing his gaze at Lindsay.
Neither one of them had made a move to leave the car since they arrived home. They had left that morning in a nervous, but happy energy. Chatting and laughing with each other like normal. Their nerves continued as they went through with their initial meeting with Ruth Michaels. Theo should have known better than to agree to this, but Lindsay had been so keen on seeing this woman and he couldn't take that away from her. After all, this was only their first meeting. Maybe it would get better? As the saying went, it had to get worse before it got better. What if this was their way of working things out?
From the moment they had walked into that lady's office, Theo wanted to turn around and run. He wanted to run as fast and far as he could, never daring to look back. Somehow he knew that this was his fear talking, he was terrified that they would discover some kind of truth and he didn't want to face it. Their life may not be ideal at the moment, however it was the life they had made and as fucked up as it had become Theo could work with this.
When they started digging deeper, he wasn't sure that he or Lindsay would like what they found.
Lindsay on the other hand didn't seem as nervous. She had walked into that office with absolute confidence, the same confidence that had caused Theo to gravitate to her that evening in the pub when they first met. It had been a while since that confidence had come out and Theo realized how much he missed that Lindsay. The appointment had meant a lot to Lindsay, seeing as she and Theo hardly ever discussed their actual feelings about anything anymore. Going into this she knew there was a chance that things would come up and feathers would be ruffled, but she didn't think they would leave their first session like this.
Somewhere between getting to know the couple and feeling out their issues, Dr Michaels had asked an innocent but loaded question: “Do you feel happy in this relationship?”
That is when it all fell apart.
Of course it was Theo's answer that caused the issues. When asked, he answered almost immediately and it sounded as though without thought. In truth, he had thought about this question for a long time, not on this given day but over time.
“No.” he answered clearing his throat slightly. “I'm not happy. How can I be?”
Without allowing Theo an explanation Lindsay all but lost it. Glaring at him with her cold eyes, she wrinkled her nose. “If you're not happy, why do you stay? It isn't as if you have to.”
She had sounded so callous. Her tone was one that Theo had never heard her use before. When asked why he was unhappy - abandoning the original question and Lindsay's answer - Theo sighed and shrugged. Wasn't it obvious? How could he or anyone be happy when they had to sit and watch their loved on suffer?
“I see her in this state and I hate it. How can someone be happy, when the person they love is struggling?” His voice was clear and unwavering as he had spoke.
Hearing and clearly misinterpreting his words, Lindsay shook her head in disbelief. If he was so unhappy, he could leave. Not wanting to stick around and hear about how unhappy Theo was in loving her, if he loved her, Lindsay excused herself ending the session when she left the room.
Not wanting to rattle the cage any more, Theo stayed silent during the ride home. As he drove, he kept to himself, not bothering to even look at his girlfriend. Once Lindsay calmed down, he would explain and this would all be sorted. He hoped.
What was he supposed to say? They had agreed to be open and honest going into this. His answer was the absolute truth on how he felt. If Lindsay had heard him out, Theo felt she would be seeing this in an entirely different light. Until then, they would sit here, in the car not talking.
Silence was deafening and Theo was happy when his phone buzzed, even if Lindsay gave him a death stare as he pulled it out to read the text.
“Anna sent me a message.” he finally spoke, not caring. “She is going to come with us, for the first week of press.”
Lindsay didn't reply, instead she turned her attention to the window next to her. What made him assume she even wanted to go with him now? After that display, Theo was lucky she even rode home in the same car. If he wasn't happy then he could have told her.
“I think I am going to go inside.” Theo continued to talk. “It's getting chilly, why don't you come too? It'd make me happier if you weren't out here freezing”
“Wow and I thought I damaged your happy.” Lindsay snorted.
“Lindsay.” Theo's tone was low and warning. “Don't be like that.”
“Be like what?” Lindsay challenged. Theo rolled his eyes. Well, if they were going to fight then it was better in the car than inside, where others could hear them. “A buzz kill? A disappointment?”
“I didn't mean it in that way.” Theo corrected.
“Then how? How did you mean it, Theo? I thought we were happy, maybe not? I thought you loved me? No? How long have I made you unhappy?” Lindsay laid on the questions. “Huh?”
Pushing back the beanie that sat on his head, Theo rubbed his forehead and groaned. “I do love you. I love you to the point it is ruining my life.”
“Now I ruin your life?” Lindsay scoffed, throwing her hands in the air. “Oh this is fucking perfect! Yeah, sure I'm bat shit crazy, I should have known better than to think you'd still want me.”
“I do.” Theo raised his voice to match. “I do love you! I love you so fucking much and that is why I am unhappy. Do you know what I go through on a daily basis?” he groaned as Lindsay ignored him. “I'm not happy, because when I see you this way it isn't something I enjoy. I won't stop loving you, but this is fucking terrible to watch and know that I can't do anything to stop it.”
“Nobody is asking you to stick around.” Lindsay finally tried to make an argument from her side. It wasn't doing very well.
“You take me to see this woman, because you want to discuss us and yet you get mad at me.” Theo huffed, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “What was I supposed to say? Did you want me to say I'm happy, when I'm not? I am happy with you, not our situation.”
“We avoid the subject, all the time.” Lindsay began, her voice had gone eerily calm. “I know that I'm not right in the head, Theo. Why can't you say it? You have to tell me when you aren't happy.”
“I did and look how that ended.” Theo rebutted.
“It doesn't help that you ignore it and then treat me like a child, when something does happen.” Lindsay accused.
“I don't ignore the issue.” Theo cleared his throat. “In fact, I can't seem to forget it. It's always there, reminding me every second.” opening the door, he paused. “I have to go get things ready to leave. Please, don't stay out here too long.”
“Do me a favour, put my suitcase back.” Lindsay ordered, her eyes fixed on the windshield. “I don't think I can go with you, not now.”
If Lindsay didn't feel like going, then Theo was going to respect that. Right now, he didn't have the energy to argue with Lindsay for much longer. They had both gotten out what they needed to say in the moment and it may take a little while for a recovery. Nodding in reply, Theo climbed out of the car allowing the door to gently shut with a thud. Pocketing the keys, he turned and headed for the main entrance to their building. In the review mirror, Lindsay could see his tall figure waking away.
Slouching down in her seat, she sighed heavily and brushed her hands over her dark jeans. Theo had been so excited for her to go with him, but Lindsay couldn't. Not after today. After this, Lindsay needed some space from Theo. He would be gone soon enough and until then, she needed to be somewhere else. She loved that man so much it hurt and now he had hurt her in an entirely new way.
Genre: Romance/Fan Fic/Drama
Pairing: Theo James/OFC
Characters: Theo James, OFC, OC
Warnings: Language, Adult Situations
Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.
Summary: For the last ten years, Theo has loved Lindsay. For the last three years, Lindsay has been a bit of a prisoner in her own life. For two people who were supposed to have it all, life sure turned out to be cruel. Caught up in life and all the dismay it sometimes brings can be challenging, even more so when the person you love is slowly slipping away.
Chapter Eleven
Sitting in the car, Theo's jaw tensed and relaxed a number of times. Each time Lindsay waited for him to speak, but he didn't. Silently staring at her hands, folded neatly in her lap, Lindsay remained just as silent. Every few seconds she would steal a glance at Theo and then quickly look away. From the driver's seat, Theo kept his eyes on the building in front of him, taking a glance or two out the side window but never directing his gaze at Lindsay.
Neither one of them had made a move to leave the car since they arrived home. They had left that morning in a nervous, but happy energy. Chatting and laughing with each other like normal. Their nerves continued as they went through with their initial meeting with Ruth Michaels. Theo should have known better than to agree to this, but Lindsay had been so keen on seeing this woman and he couldn't take that away from her. After all, this was only their first meeting. Maybe it would get better? As the saying went, it had to get worse before it got better. What if this was their way of working things out?
From the moment they had walked into that lady's office, Theo wanted to turn around and run. He wanted to run as fast and far as he could, never daring to look back. Somehow he knew that this was his fear talking, he was terrified that they would discover some kind of truth and he didn't want to face it. Their life may not be ideal at the moment, however it was the life they had made and as fucked up as it had become Theo could work with this.
When they started digging deeper, he wasn't sure that he or Lindsay would like what they found.
Lindsay on the other hand didn't seem as nervous. She had walked into that office with absolute confidence, the same confidence that had caused Theo to gravitate to her that evening in the pub when they first met. It had been a while since that confidence had come out and Theo realized how much he missed that Lindsay. The appointment had meant a lot to Lindsay, seeing as she and Theo hardly ever discussed their actual feelings about anything anymore. Going into this she knew there was a chance that things would come up and feathers would be ruffled, but she didn't think they would leave their first session like this.
Somewhere between getting to know the couple and feeling out their issues, Dr Michaels had asked an innocent but loaded question: “Do you feel happy in this relationship?”
That is when it all fell apart.
Of course it was Theo's answer that caused the issues. When asked, he answered almost immediately and it sounded as though without thought. In truth, he had thought about this question for a long time, not on this given day but over time.
“No.” he answered clearing his throat slightly. “I'm not happy. How can I be?”
Without allowing Theo an explanation Lindsay all but lost it. Glaring at him with her cold eyes, she wrinkled her nose. “If you're not happy, why do you stay? It isn't as if you have to.”
She had sounded so callous. Her tone was one that Theo had never heard her use before. When asked why he was unhappy - abandoning the original question and Lindsay's answer - Theo sighed and shrugged. Wasn't it obvious? How could he or anyone be happy when they had to sit and watch their loved on suffer?
“I see her in this state and I hate it. How can someone be happy, when the person they love is struggling?” His voice was clear and unwavering as he had spoke.
Hearing and clearly misinterpreting his words, Lindsay shook her head in disbelief. If he was so unhappy, he could leave. Not wanting to stick around and hear about how unhappy Theo was in loving her, if he loved her, Lindsay excused herself ending the session when she left the room.
Not wanting to rattle the cage any more, Theo stayed silent during the ride home. As he drove, he kept to himself, not bothering to even look at his girlfriend. Once Lindsay calmed down, he would explain and this would all be sorted. He hoped.
What was he supposed to say? They had agreed to be open and honest going into this. His answer was the absolute truth on how he felt. If Lindsay had heard him out, Theo felt she would be seeing this in an entirely different light. Until then, they would sit here, in the car not talking.
Silence was deafening and Theo was happy when his phone buzzed, even if Lindsay gave him a death stare as he pulled it out to read the text.
“Anna sent me a message.” he finally spoke, not caring. “She is going to come with us, for the first week of press.”
Lindsay didn't reply, instead she turned her attention to the window next to her. What made him assume she even wanted to go with him now? After that display, Theo was lucky she even rode home in the same car. If he wasn't happy then he could have told her.
“I think I am going to go inside.” Theo continued to talk. “It's getting chilly, why don't you come too? It'd make me happier if you weren't out here freezing”
“Wow and I thought I damaged your happy.” Lindsay snorted.
“Lindsay.” Theo's tone was low and warning. “Don't be like that.”
“Be like what?” Lindsay challenged. Theo rolled his eyes. Well, if they were going to fight then it was better in the car than inside, where others could hear them. “A buzz kill? A disappointment?”
“I didn't mean it in that way.” Theo corrected.
“Then how? How did you mean it, Theo? I thought we were happy, maybe not? I thought you loved me? No? How long have I made you unhappy?” Lindsay laid on the questions. “Huh?”
Pushing back the beanie that sat on his head, Theo rubbed his forehead and groaned. “I do love you. I love you to the point it is ruining my life.”
“Now I ruin your life?” Lindsay scoffed, throwing her hands in the air. “Oh this is fucking perfect! Yeah, sure I'm bat shit crazy, I should have known better than to think you'd still want me.”
“I do.” Theo raised his voice to match. “I do love you! I love you so fucking much and that is why I am unhappy. Do you know what I go through on a daily basis?” he groaned as Lindsay ignored him. “I'm not happy, because when I see you this way it isn't something I enjoy. I won't stop loving you, but this is fucking terrible to watch and know that I can't do anything to stop it.”
“Nobody is asking you to stick around.” Lindsay finally tried to make an argument from her side. It wasn't doing very well.
“You take me to see this woman, because you want to discuss us and yet you get mad at me.” Theo huffed, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “What was I supposed to say? Did you want me to say I'm happy, when I'm not? I am happy with you, not our situation.”
“We avoid the subject, all the time.” Lindsay began, her voice had gone eerily calm. “I know that I'm not right in the head, Theo. Why can't you say it? You have to tell me when you aren't happy.”
“I did and look how that ended.” Theo rebutted.
“It doesn't help that you ignore it and then treat me like a child, when something does happen.” Lindsay accused.
“I don't ignore the issue.” Theo cleared his throat. “In fact, I can't seem to forget it. It's always there, reminding me every second.” opening the door, he paused. “I have to go get things ready to leave. Please, don't stay out here too long.”
“Do me a favour, put my suitcase back.” Lindsay ordered, her eyes fixed on the windshield. “I don't think I can go with you, not now.”
If Lindsay didn't feel like going, then Theo was going to respect that. Right now, he didn't have the energy to argue with Lindsay for much longer. They had both gotten out what they needed to say in the moment and it may take a little while for a recovery. Nodding in reply, Theo climbed out of the car allowing the door to gently shut with a thud. Pocketing the keys, he turned and headed for the main entrance to their building. In the review mirror, Lindsay could see his tall figure waking away.
Slouching down in her seat, she sighed heavily and brushed her hands over her dark jeans. Theo had been so excited for her to go with him, but Lindsay couldn't. Not after today. After this, Lindsay needed some space from Theo. He would be gone soon enough and until then, she needed to be somewhere else. She loved that man so much it hurt and now he had hurt her in an entirely new way.