My heart will not be crushed
*I get Lei's laptop and sit up carefully in my hospital bed*
I'm sorry for what I did last night. I didn't think last night at all. Lei, Aaron, Nick, Ang, all the rest of my family and friends... I love you all. I can't believe that I was that stupid to almost take my life like that. The doctors said that I need to stay the night and maybe tomorrow so they can keep an eye on me. I guess after taking a half a bottel of sleeping pills and washing it down with a bottle of vodka, I guess I can't get out of here just yet. I deserve a guy that wont play with my heart. "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)" Oh gee now let me think a sec. who sang that song... OH YES! BSB and you would think that a guy like Brian might know a song like that. Wouldn't you think so? He said he cares about me... well if he does then why doesn't he call me? Why is he in Reno drinking and gambling to get away? I can't take being hurt.. not again. And not by someone I love as much as I do Brian.
I also found out that Lij is also here in the hospital. Lei said something about him being in ICU also last night... I think he might have done the same thing I did. Not sure; but I will make a note of it to see him ... that is if the crazy nurse will ever let me get up. I hope he will be ok, cause I know I am thankful to be alive right now. I am also lucky to have a wonderful friend by the name of Lei who is not only a wonderful friend but a sister to me as well. If she hadn't of called me when she did.. I know I would be dead right now. I owe you my life girl.
I also miss my AJ .. I really need my Jester right now. I hope you come home soon. I guess I have to admit now that you were right all along and that I should have listened to you. Now you may be right; but don't let it go to your head ok. *laughs*
*I think to myself for a second* I think I am gonna start a new life for myself. I think this has been a big wake up call for me and I want to take advantage of this gift that was given to me. I have been given a third chance *laughs* Ok so yeah I am lucky what can I say. But anyway I am thinking about starting something in fashion design. It's something I can do well, and I enjoy it. So why not.
I'm sorry for what I did last night. I didn't think last night at all. Lei, Aaron, Nick, Ang, all the rest of my family and friends... I love you all. I can't believe that I was that stupid to almost take my life like that. The doctors said that I need to stay the night and maybe tomorrow so they can keep an eye on me. I guess after taking a half a bottel of sleeping pills and washing it down with a bottle of vodka, I guess I can't get out of here just yet. I deserve a guy that wont play with my heart. "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)" Oh gee now let me think a sec. who sang that song... OH YES! BSB and you would think that a guy like Brian might know a song like that. Wouldn't you think so? He said he cares about me... well if he does then why doesn't he call me? Why is he in Reno drinking and gambling to get away? I can't take being hurt.. not again. And not by someone I love as much as I do Brian.
I also found out that Lij is also here in the hospital. Lei said something about him being in ICU also last night... I think he might have done the same thing I did. Not sure; but I will make a note of it to see him ... that is if the crazy nurse will ever let me get up. I hope he will be ok, cause I know I am thankful to be alive right now. I am also lucky to have a wonderful friend by the name of Lei who is not only a wonderful friend but a sister to me as well. If she hadn't of called me when she did.. I know I would be dead right now. I owe you my life girl.
I also miss my AJ .. I really need my Jester right now. I hope you come home soon. I guess I have to admit now that you were right all along and that I should have listened to you. Now you may be right; but don't let it go to your head ok. *laughs*
*I think to myself for a second* I think I am gonna start a new life for myself. I think this has been a big wake up call for me and I want to take advantage of this gift that was given to me. I have been given a third chance *laughs* Ok so yeah I am lucky what can I say. But anyway I am thinking about starting something in fashion design. It's something I can do well, and I enjoy it. So why not.