Alternate Scripts for 80's G.I. Joe PSAs

[b_i_t_t]

Author's Note: In the 1980's, the GI Joe cartoon had a "knowing is half the battle" segment where members of the G.I. Joe Forces gave children advice on such things as what kinds of foods to eat, why stealing is wrong, how to tread water (badly), etc. The following is, for the most part, a direct transcript of one of these segments, but with minor changes that I think would have improved the whole thing.

(Living Room)

GIRL: Bobby, my stomach hurts.

BOBBY: I'll give you some of Dad's medicine... (Exit Boy and Girl)

(Bathroom)

(Enter BOBBY and GIRL)

Bobby: ...it's real strong stuff.

(Enter DOC, standing outside bathroom window)

DOC: That...is a perscription for danger.

BOBBY: Doc!

DOC: Never take a medicine without a grown up present you could do more harm then good.

BOBBY: What are you doing hanging around outside our bathroom window.

DOC: If you can wait for your parents, or if it's serious ask a neighbor for help.

BOBBY: First of all look up Kitty Genovese, second of all what the hell are you doing peeking in our bathroom window?

GIRL: Mom's home.

DOC: Now you'll get some help.

BOBBY: Yeah, we can have her call the cops, you flippin' weirdo.

DOC: ...and knowing is half the battle.

BOBBY: MOM! There's a pervert peeking in our window!