2000 poetry dump
Title: Lost: One Me
I put an Ad in the Lost and Found today
Asking if anyone had found a Me
I lost my Me a few months ago;
Beside Life’s Road, I think
Me was causing too much trouble
Making a fuss over the smallest of things
So I set Me to the side,
Expecting to come back and
Pick up me where I had left Me off.
Just a little break, I sought
I never thought
I would lose my Me.
So if one day you find a Me,
Let my Me know, its safe to
Be my Me again.
Title:You Feel Nothing Strongly
You feel nothing strongly
Indifference is your way
Casual interest is all
That you display.
I once hoped love and
Passion would breach your defense
Built of indifference
I never imagined how wrong I could be
My heart’s desire, you reap
What you sow.
You now till barren ground.
I’ve expended the last of my reserves
My siege has ended.
Your defenses are still intact.
I’ve learned the lesson you never
Intended to teach
I have been an apt pupil in this,
the most bitter of truths.
03/02/00
Title: Mistake
I’d thought the time had come
To say goodbye.
Every friendship has its season.
In my heart I knew differently.
But my mind said “ cut your losses”
Little did I know
You’d be the greatest
Loss of all.
Brandis Dutton
09/20/00
Title: L-O-V-E
Loss
Of
Volition
Eternally
Brandis S. Dutton
04-25-00
Title: I read your words and wept v1
I read your words and wept.
The imagery, the meaning that lies behind them
Makes my heart yearn for what was never meant to be
That those words were meant for me
But they are for her.
Every thought, every nuance of your soul belongs to her.
Just as all of my being belongs to you
The truth of this, what has become my reality
Will forever condemn me.
From the moment I saw you
My soul was no longer my own.
Your image, the person you are, has
Forever reshaped my being.
How I scream at the irony of life,
The cruel sense of humor that Fate possesses.
She is cruel to have shown me how love could be,
What my life may have become,
Only to snatch that vision away again.
But for a moment I saw what life could’ve been like.
This will have to suffice, until
I am given another chance at life.
For this lifetime is forever tainted by you.
01/16/00
Title: I read your words and wept v2
I read your words and wept.
The imagery, the meaning that lies behind them
Makes my heart yearn for what was never meant to be
That those words were meant for me
But they are for her.
Every thought, every nuance of your soul belongs to her.
Just as all of my being belongs to you
The truth of this, what has become my reality
Will forever condemn me.
From the moment I saw you
My soul was no longer my own.
Your image, the person you are, has
Forever reshaped my being.
How I scream at the irony of life,
The cruel sense of humor that Fate possesses.
She is cruel to have shown me how love could be,
What my life may have become,
Only to snatch that vision away again.
But for a moment I saw what life might’ve been like.
This will have to suffice, until
I am given another chance at life.
For this lifetime is forever tainted with you.
Title: I have sacrificed my art
I have sacrificed my art
It has been traded for my sanity.
To create I must live,
To write I must feel
Long and hard, have I fought
It has all been for naught
I have surrounded myself
With a void.
A barrier to filter
My emotions.
Leaving me with a barren heart
I survive each day
Thankful, as it comes to an end
One more down,
How many more to go?
Title: Before
I always knew before…
When you walked into a room
What you were feeling
when you needed someone to talk to.
But now…
I can not fathom who you are or what you need
So much has changed.
I love you more, yet know you less.
Everything is so different now.
In my dreams I remember
How things were.
Yet I am not so sure I would change a thing
I am so much stronger now
I finally love myself.
But does this leave room for you?
I am not so sure it does.
Brandis Dutton
08/15/00
Title: At a Loss
At a loss
By
Brandis S. Dutton
03/08/00
I am at a loss.
Once, I thought to feel
Was to truly live.
Now I find, I can not feel
If I am to survive.
What is surviving without living?
A barren, lonely existence
For now, I simply exist.
I am a living shadow,
A visible shell, a walking mannequin.
Physically present, but
Without substance.
Every reaction, automatic.
Ingrained from birth.
Nothing I do or say is
Real anymore.
Carefully schooled reactions.
Projections of how I am
Supposed to feel.
I don’t know what is real,
What I feel anymore.
I am at a loss,
I am the loss.
How does one lose themselves?
Now where do I go to find
Myself?
I put an Ad in the Lost and Found today
Asking if anyone had found a Me
I lost my Me a few months ago;
Beside Life’s Road, I think
Me was causing too much trouble
Making a fuss over the smallest of things
So I set Me to the side,
Expecting to come back and
Pick up me where I had left Me off.
Just a little break, I sought
I never thought
I would lose my Me.
So if one day you find a Me,
Let my Me know, its safe to
Be my Me again.
Title:You Feel Nothing Strongly
You feel nothing strongly
Indifference is your way
Casual interest is all
That you display.
I once hoped love and
Passion would breach your defense
Built of indifference
I never imagined how wrong I could be
My heart’s desire, you reap
What you sow.
You now till barren ground.
I’ve expended the last of my reserves
My siege has ended.
Your defenses are still intact.
I’ve learned the lesson you never
Intended to teach
I have been an apt pupil in this,
the most bitter of truths.
03/02/00
Title: Mistake
I’d thought the time had come
To say goodbye.
Every friendship has its season.
In my heart I knew differently.
But my mind said “ cut your losses”
Little did I know
You’d be the greatest
Loss of all.
Brandis Dutton
09/20/00
Title: L-O-V-E
Loss
Of
Volition
Eternally
Brandis S. Dutton
04-25-00
Title: I read your words and wept v1
I read your words and wept.
The imagery, the meaning that lies behind them
Makes my heart yearn for what was never meant to be
That those words were meant for me
But they are for her.
Every thought, every nuance of your soul belongs to her.
Just as all of my being belongs to you
The truth of this, what has become my reality
Will forever condemn me.
From the moment I saw you
My soul was no longer my own.
Your image, the person you are, has
Forever reshaped my being.
How I scream at the irony of life,
The cruel sense of humor that Fate possesses.
She is cruel to have shown me how love could be,
What my life may have become,
Only to snatch that vision away again.
But for a moment I saw what life could’ve been like.
This will have to suffice, until
I am given another chance at life.
For this lifetime is forever tainted by you.
01/16/00
Title: I read your words and wept v2
I read your words and wept.
The imagery, the meaning that lies behind them
Makes my heart yearn for what was never meant to be
That those words were meant for me
But they are for her.
Every thought, every nuance of your soul belongs to her.
Just as all of my being belongs to you
The truth of this, what has become my reality
Will forever condemn me.
From the moment I saw you
My soul was no longer my own.
Your image, the person you are, has
Forever reshaped my being.
How I scream at the irony of life,
The cruel sense of humor that Fate possesses.
She is cruel to have shown me how love could be,
What my life may have become,
Only to snatch that vision away again.
But for a moment I saw what life might’ve been like.
This will have to suffice, until
I am given another chance at life.
For this lifetime is forever tainted with you.
Title: I have sacrificed my art
I have sacrificed my art
It has been traded for my sanity.
To create I must live,
To write I must feel
Long and hard, have I fought
It has all been for naught
I have surrounded myself
With a void.
A barrier to filter
My emotions.
Leaving me with a barren heart
I survive each day
Thankful, as it comes to an end
One more down,
How many more to go?
Title: Before
I always knew before…
When you walked into a room
What you were feeling
when you needed someone to talk to.
But now…
I can not fathom who you are or what you need
So much has changed.
I love you more, yet know you less.
Everything is so different now.
In my dreams I remember
How things were.
Yet I am not so sure I would change a thing
I am so much stronger now
I finally love myself.
But does this leave room for you?
I am not so sure it does.
Brandis Dutton
08/15/00
Title: At a Loss
At a loss
By
Brandis S. Dutton
03/08/00
I am at a loss.
Once, I thought to feel
Was to truly live.
Now I find, I can not feel
If I am to survive.
What is surviving without living?
A barren, lonely existence
For now, I simply exist.
I am a living shadow,
A visible shell, a walking mannequin.
Physically present, but
Without substance.
Every reaction, automatic.
Ingrained from birth.
Nothing I do or say is
Real anymore.
Carefully schooled reactions.
Projections of how I am
Supposed to feel.
I don’t know what is real,
What I feel anymore.
I am at a loss,
I am the loss.
How does one lose themselves?
Now where do I go to find
Myself?