Job Interviews & MA Results
So. I should probably post something about the Job Situation. As you probably know (or will have gathered by the end of this sentence), I've just finished my MA in Writing.
I found out today that I not only passed, I got a Distinction. (My mark for my final piece was less than stellar, though I don't know why, annoyingly. I put so much into it. But nevermind, I got 70s in the other three, so I'm happy.) *dances around*
That was the good part of today.
The day before yesterday, I applied for a job. The application was really vague, but I went for it because it sounded interesting. They rang that same afternoon to schedule an interview for the next day. Obviously, I dropped all my plans (geocaching with siraplowe) and went. So yesterday, I had the first job interview of my life. And it was with the Managing Director of the entire company.
Who was seriously the most gorgeous person I have ever seen in real life. I am not kidding. And I have seen David Tennant and John Barrowman in the flesh, people. He was SCORCHING HOT. No joke. (Also, engaged. He told me; I said, "Oh, congratulations"; I meant, "What a bitch, for stealing away a guy I met three minutes ago wait what am I thinking this is insane but still I hate her on principal." :P Uh, not really, I'm not a raging psychopath. :/ )
Anyway. He was lovely. (He had a really great handshake! Like, amazingly firm! I was kind of delighted because I don't like limp handshakers at all, and I don't think I've ever had a decent handshake from anyone except my dad, who doesn't count, so it was refreshing.) We had a nice talk, he told me they'd call between 6pm and 7pm to let me know, I left thinking, "Well, I think it went OK, but it could probably have been better, I don't know. If I get it I get it; if I don't I don't."
I should probably point out here that he said in the interview that I'd be doing "face to face sales". I thought, "Great. At least it's not telesales." I couldn't deal with telesales. I hate it when you get those phone calls, they're really awkward and annoying and I just would NOT want to be on the other end of one. Also, I don't even particularly enjoy phone conversations with people (uh, sorry if that offends anyone - I just prefer either email or face-to-face. I kind of even like texts more than phoning. I do phone people; I just feel really awkward about it. I'd feel about 1,000,000 times more awkward phoning strangers trying to get them to buy things, though.) However, he didn't really explain what sales - but then, I figured, why explain to someone you won't necessarily call back, especially if the second interview is more like a work-shadowing day.
SO. They didn't call. I sort of chalked it up to experience and didn't care much. (It's a sales job; I don't want to do sales.) Then, at about 8:30pm, I checked my emails - and found a "Congratulations! Come back for a second interview tomorrow, 12:30-8:30." email.
I went, "URK, long" but thought, hey, I might love it. So I went.
Once again, I was collected from the reception by Mr Smoking Hot MD. (Which was a pleasure, of course. :P) He took me upstairs to meet some underlings - a finance guy, and his second-in-command (of sorts) who I'd be shadowing for the day. He would be showing me 'entry level' stuff, apparently. It was all a bit of a blur, and then Mr Smoking Hot MD left me with my Interviewer, and he hustled me back down the stairs.
We'd be going to Wilmslow on the train, apparently, to 'talk to customers about Love Film'. Translated out of Business Speak, this meant, Door To Door Sales Pitch.
Wilmslow is a very nice area. But it does not lend itself to hanging around on a street, tailing a guy while he does Door to Door calls, doing 'business acumen testing' tasks. "Make up a product and pitch it as if you're going to take it in front of the Dragons in Dragons Den." "Make a list of 10 ways to motivate a team when they're failing." "Think of as many ways as you can to advertise, both directly and indirectly; be creative; the goal to beat is 74!" (I got 54, and one of them was 'Free Bin Stickers'. Yeah. And they -- well. I'll say that part later.)
By 'lunch' (4:15pm), I was freezing my toes off and I wanted to go home. But by that point, I kind of felt like I couldn't just leave - especially since Mr Smoking Hot had said Mr Interviewer had taken a day out of managering to do the 'interview'. (And actually, here's a point: Weirdest. Interview. Ever. 'Follow this dude around at a distance, answering questions that you may or may not be evaluated on'. :/) So we went to lunch and he went over the company's scheme of promotion and the fact it's a meritocracy and everybody who's not managing was once doing 'entry level stuff' (door. to. freaking. door. Say it! SAAAAY IIIIIT, it's what you MEAN, so SAY IT!). I nodded and smiled and said I understood.
Actually, he was very good at explaining and a genuinely nice guy.
Except for the fact that when we started off Lap Two of the random housing streets, he disappeared into a house and didn't tell me he was going in. I had my head down, making notes for Task 4 (one of the aforementioned). I looked up; he was there. I scribbled for a bit. I looked up again - and he was gone. I had lost my interviewer.
He was gone for over ten minutes. I checked the cul-de-sac we'd been down earlier, to no avail. I panicked and rang my parents. (They were less than impressed by the whole thing.) I started to wonder if, I don't know, maybe this was part of the test - was I supposed to maybe go and find him? He'd said something about not giving up in the face of adversity, so, I don't know, maybe he was presenting me with adversity to see how I'd react?!
Then he appeared again and said he'd 'stepped inside'. Ugh. And he was so nice about it, I couldn't stay pissed off.
Nor could I concentrate on my Dragons' Den task any more, so I scribbled a few more lines and gave up.
Then it started to go dark and get really fucking cold. By the time we started back to the station, it was 8:15pm (at least) and my feet were dropping off. (I think I have actually caught something like a fever, but I'm probably overreacting.) We eventually had to run to catch the train because he timed it badly, and believe me when I say this, I had trouble keeping up. He was about two feet taller than me, and in bloody good shape (unlike me), so he took it easy. I nearly died. (And I thought my feet were going to explode from the sudden movement when they were freezing. It was so painful I cannot tell you.)
So then, we got on the train, he grilled me about a few more things and gave me some answered to this questionnaire thing, which I had to fill in when we got back to the office. I duly filled it in, not really trying to put in stellar answers because, actually, I don't want to do door-to-door sales, thanks. But for some reason at the same time I couldn't just flunk the entire thing. I don't know. Something made me still try to make a good impression - not because I wanted the job, just ... because it was polite?
Anyway, Mr Smoking Hot saw my questionnaire, and then he came out into the hall -- with his Fraternity Paddle. UM. Yes, that is what it sounds like. It's the paddle which his Big Brother in the fraternity gave him when he became a member. (And my brain went, "And did they spank you with it as an initiation?" Which was totally appropriate, yeah, I know. I CAN'T TURN IT OFF, OH GOD. But I think I got extra points for knowing what a Fraternity is, which was cool. Oh, and Mr Smoking Hot can say the entire Greek alphabet because of something to do with striking a match which he didn't go into.) So anyway, he called me in.
And, y'know what, I thought I fluffed it. And I didn't really care because I didn't want the job. But it was nice staring into his big brown eyes while I waffled about whatever and listened to him tell me about things like why his people are motivated in his smoooooooth Alabama accent. *shrug* He then said he was going to have a final word with Mr Interviewer and come back.
He came back, with Mr Interviewer. And said that he'd asked Mr Interviewer, straight up, whether he would've hired me - and that Mr Interviewer paid me a compliment: "She might not be the most obvious sales person, but she has an amazing attitude." Coming from him? Knowing how much store he sets in having the right attitude? I know that's a big compliment. And really - when I was cold and miserable and not really trying and not really enthused (though I was trying to be positive to his face about it), and he thought that? Well. Uh. Not sure what to say.
Maybe I'm really fucking good at deception? XD
So, uh. They offered me the job. And, actually, I was kind of delighted. Sad, that I was going to have to turn down these lovely, lovely people who were so friendly and welcoming and happy - but also happy that they liked me enough to want to employ me (even without experience or business/sales knowledge). It was kind of a rush - and if I got that from getting a job I really didn't want, it must be kind of incredible to get one you're desperate to have.
I didn't say no right away. I'm going to email or call them tomorrow or Saturday to tell them that I've had another offer. (I know it's a lie, but ... I really don't want to walk the streets selling stuff. I hate it when people come to our door, and I'd hate to be on the other side of that.)
I mean, for one thing, I got home at 11:30pm. I left home at 11:30pm. I felt like death when I walked in, and I don't think my thighs, calves or feet can take being that cold and stiff again.
I know it sounds a petty reason when I do need a job, but ... I'd hate it. I wouldn't be good at it (and it works on a commission basis, so if you're bad, you don't get paid). And I'm - well, morally is a strong word, but I am opposed to door-to-door sales calls. So really, it's not for me, however nice the lovely people are there. :/
So, yeah. I'm still unemployed.
Tomorrow, I'm going to the dentist to hopefully excise the Face!Alien once and for all! \o/
Then, if I'm well enough and not dosed up on painkillers/anti-inflammatories/other drugs, we're going to do what we were supposed to be doing tonight: Celebratory Meal. For the MA Distinction.
(Mum had it all planned out, and it was kind of ruined by The Interview. So she's peeved about that. And to be honest, so am I. I didn't want to find out I'd got a distinction like that - standing on a cold street in Wilmslow, by parental text after they hacked my email. *sigh* It was kind of anticlimactic. Blegh.)
I wish I could just erase today, or make it so I'm a strong enough person to say, "No, not interested, going home, bye." Or something. It's just been so full of SHIT that it's eating into what should be a celebratory, joyful, wonderful thing and I kind of resent the company for that. :( I just wanted the day I got my results to be ... MORE, you know. More than this. I want a do-over, minus the shitty waste-of-time interview.
And now, to top it all off, I have insomnia despite the fact that my eyes are bloodshot and itching, my legs and feet are killing, and my body feels like it could just drop at any second. Great. Joyous. I hate my life.
But at least I've got an MA with Distinction. ;P
.
I found out today that I not only passed, I got a Distinction. (My mark for my final piece was less than stellar, though I don't know why, annoyingly. I put so much into it. But nevermind, I got 70s in the other three, so I'm happy.) *dances around*
That was the good part of today.
The day before yesterday, I applied for a job. The application was really vague, but I went for it because it sounded interesting. They rang that same afternoon to schedule an interview for the next day. Obviously, I dropped all my plans (geocaching with siraplowe) and went. So yesterday, I had the first job interview of my life. And it was with the Managing Director of the entire company.
Who was seriously the most gorgeous person I have ever seen in real life. I am not kidding. And I have seen David Tennant and John Barrowman in the flesh, people. He was SCORCHING HOT. No joke. (Also, engaged. He told me; I said, "Oh, congratulations"; I meant, "What a bitch, for stealing away a guy I met three minutes ago wait what am I thinking this is insane but still I hate her on principal." :P Uh, not really, I'm not a raging psychopath. :/ )
Anyway. He was lovely. (He had a really great handshake! Like, amazingly firm! I was kind of delighted because I don't like limp handshakers at all, and I don't think I've ever had a decent handshake from anyone except my dad, who doesn't count, so it was refreshing.) We had a nice talk, he told me they'd call between 6pm and 7pm to let me know, I left thinking, "Well, I think it went OK, but it could probably have been better, I don't know. If I get it I get it; if I don't I don't."
I should probably point out here that he said in the interview that I'd be doing "face to face sales". I thought, "Great. At least it's not telesales." I couldn't deal with telesales. I hate it when you get those phone calls, they're really awkward and annoying and I just would NOT want to be on the other end of one. Also, I don't even particularly enjoy phone conversations with people (uh, sorry if that offends anyone - I just prefer either email or face-to-face. I kind of even like texts more than phoning. I do phone people; I just feel really awkward about it. I'd feel about 1,000,000 times more awkward phoning strangers trying to get them to buy things, though.) However, he didn't really explain what sales - but then, I figured, why explain to someone you won't necessarily call back, especially if the second interview is more like a work-shadowing day.
SO. They didn't call. I sort of chalked it up to experience and didn't care much. (It's a sales job; I don't want to do sales.) Then, at about 8:30pm, I checked my emails - and found a "Congratulations! Come back for a second interview tomorrow, 12:30-8:30." email.
I went, "URK, long" but thought, hey, I might love it. So I went.
Once again, I was collected from the reception by Mr Smoking Hot MD. (Which was a pleasure, of course. :P) He took me upstairs to meet some underlings - a finance guy, and his second-in-command (of sorts) who I'd be shadowing for the day. He would be showing me 'entry level' stuff, apparently. It was all a bit of a blur, and then Mr Smoking Hot MD left me with my Interviewer, and he hustled me back down the stairs.
We'd be going to Wilmslow on the train, apparently, to 'talk to customers about Love Film'. Translated out of Business Speak, this meant, Door To Door Sales Pitch.
Wilmslow is a very nice area. But it does not lend itself to hanging around on a street, tailing a guy while he does Door to Door calls, doing 'business acumen testing' tasks. "Make up a product and pitch it as if you're going to take it in front of the Dragons in Dragons Den." "Make a list of 10 ways to motivate a team when they're failing." "Think of as many ways as you can to advertise, both directly and indirectly; be creative; the goal to beat is 74!" (I got 54, and one of them was 'Free Bin Stickers'. Yeah. And they -- well. I'll say that part later.)
By 'lunch' (4:15pm), I was freezing my toes off and I wanted to go home. But by that point, I kind of felt like I couldn't just leave - especially since Mr Smoking Hot had said Mr Interviewer had taken a day out of managering to do the 'interview'. (And actually, here's a point: Weirdest. Interview. Ever. 'Follow this dude around at a distance, answering questions that you may or may not be evaluated on'. :/) So we went to lunch and he went over the company's scheme of promotion and the fact it's a meritocracy and everybody who's not managing was once doing 'entry level stuff' (door. to. freaking. door. Say it! SAAAAY IIIIIT, it's what you MEAN, so SAY IT!). I nodded and smiled and said I understood.
Actually, he was very good at explaining and a genuinely nice guy.
Except for the fact that when we started off Lap Two of the random housing streets, he disappeared into a house and didn't tell me he was going in. I had my head down, making notes for Task 4 (one of the aforementioned). I looked up; he was there. I scribbled for a bit. I looked up again - and he was gone. I had lost my interviewer.
He was gone for over ten minutes. I checked the cul-de-sac we'd been down earlier, to no avail. I panicked and rang my parents. (They were less than impressed by the whole thing.) I started to wonder if, I don't know, maybe this was part of the test - was I supposed to maybe go and find him? He'd said something about not giving up in the face of adversity, so, I don't know, maybe he was presenting me with adversity to see how I'd react?!
Then he appeared again and said he'd 'stepped inside'. Ugh. And he was so nice about it, I couldn't stay pissed off.
Nor could I concentrate on my Dragons' Den task any more, so I scribbled a few more lines and gave up.
Then it started to go dark and get really fucking cold. By the time we started back to the station, it was 8:15pm (at least) and my feet were dropping off. (I think I have actually caught something like a fever, but I'm probably overreacting.) We eventually had to run to catch the train because he timed it badly, and believe me when I say this, I had trouble keeping up. He was about two feet taller than me, and in bloody good shape (unlike me), so he took it easy. I nearly died. (And I thought my feet were going to explode from the sudden movement when they were freezing. It was so painful I cannot tell you.)
So then, we got on the train, he grilled me about a few more things and gave me some answered to this questionnaire thing, which I had to fill in when we got back to the office. I duly filled it in, not really trying to put in stellar answers because, actually, I don't want to do door-to-door sales, thanks. But for some reason at the same time I couldn't just flunk the entire thing. I don't know. Something made me still try to make a good impression - not because I wanted the job, just ... because it was polite?
Anyway, Mr Smoking Hot saw my questionnaire, and then he came out into the hall -- with his Fraternity Paddle. UM. Yes, that is what it sounds like. It's the paddle which his Big Brother in the fraternity gave him when he became a member. (And my brain went, "And did they spank you with it as an initiation?" Which was totally appropriate, yeah, I know. I CAN'T TURN IT OFF, OH GOD. But I think I got extra points for knowing what a Fraternity is, which was cool. Oh, and Mr Smoking Hot can say the entire Greek alphabet because of something to do with striking a match which he didn't go into.) So anyway, he called me in.
And, y'know what, I thought I fluffed it. And I didn't really care because I didn't want the job. But it was nice staring into his big brown eyes while I waffled about whatever and listened to him tell me about things like why his people are motivated in his smoooooooth Alabama accent. *shrug* He then said he was going to have a final word with Mr Interviewer and come back.
He came back, with Mr Interviewer. And said that he'd asked Mr Interviewer, straight up, whether he would've hired me - and that Mr Interviewer paid me a compliment: "She might not be the most obvious sales person, but she has an amazing attitude." Coming from him? Knowing how much store he sets in having the right attitude? I know that's a big compliment. And really - when I was cold and miserable and not really trying and not really enthused (though I was trying to be positive to his face about it), and he thought that? Well. Uh. Not sure what to say.
Maybe I'm really fucking good at deception? XD
So, uh. They offered me the job. And, actually, I was kind of delighted. Sad, that I was going to have to turn down these lovely, lovely people who were so friendly and welcoming and happy - but also happy that they liked me enough to want to employ me (even without experience or business/sales knowledge). It was kind of a rush - and if I got that from getting a job I really didn't want, it must be kind of incredible to get one you're desperate to have.
I didn't say no right away. I'm going to email or call them tomorrow or Saturday to tell them that I've had another offer. (I know it's a lie, but ... I really don't want to walk the streets selling stuff. I hate it when people come to our door, and I'd hate to be on the other side of that.)
I mean, for one thing, I got home at 11:30pm. I left home at 11:30pm. I felt like death when I walked in, and I don't think my thighs, calves or feet can take being that cold and stiff again.
I know it sounds a petty reason when I do need a job, but ... I'd hate it. I wouldn't be good at it (and it works on a commission basis, so if you're bad, you don't get paid). And I'm - well, morally is a strong word, but I am opposed to door-to-door sales calls. So really, it's not for me, however nice the lovely people are there. :/
So, yeah. I'm still unemployed.
Tomorrow, I'm going to the dentist to hopefully excise the Face!Alien once and for all! \o/
Then, if I'm well enough and not dosed up on painkillers/anti-inflammatories/other drugs, we're going to do what we were supposed to be doing tonight: Celebratory Meal. For the MA Distinction.
(Mum had it all planned out, and it was kind of ruined by The Interview. So she's peeved about that. And to be honest, so am I. I didn't want to find out I'd got a distinction like that - standing on a cold street in Wilmslow, by parental text after they hacked my email. *sigh* It was kind of anticlimactic. Blegh.)
I wish I could just erase today, or make it so I'm a strong enough person to say, "No, not interested, going home, bye." Or something. It's just been so full of SHIT that it's eating into what should be a celebratory, joyful, wonderful thing and I kind of resent the company for that. :( I just wanted the day I got my results to be ... MORE, you know. More than this. I want a do-over, minus the shitty waste-of-time interview.
And now, to top it all off, I have insomnia despite the fact that my eyes are bloodshot and itching, my legs and feet are killing, and my body feels like it could just drop at any second. Great. Joyous. I hate my life.
But at least I've got an MA with Distinction. ;P
.