A Game of Thrones S1E09
WARNING: spoilers and copious amounts of swearing. Other than that:
I bet my housemates wondered what the everloving fuck was going on up here. What with me shouting "WHAT?" and "FUCK NO!" and "PLEASE NO!" and variations thereupon for the past five minutes. And banging the table so hard I've actually hurt my hand. Futilely.
Basically, I shall repeat what I said on Twitter. Which was (in essence) 140 characters of: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not Ned. Not Ned. Anybody but Ned. I think I would've even taken Jon's death better than this. Or Arya. Or Bran. But NOT NED PLEASE NO NOT NED.
Someone. Someone had better put some Lannister heads on some fucking spikes. Also, I want to punch that smug grin of Circe Lannister's face. And then I want to personally beat Joffrey to within an inch of his fucking life, because the little shit is an inbred monster and he needs to be put the fuck down.
Also, no one - no one - gets away with putting one of my favourite characters ever through that level of humiliation and degredation and then killing him.
Every episode. Just serves to make me want him dead more. Him and his fucking incestuous parents.
There aren't even words for what they are. I could swear a blue streak, but it would not help. It would not come even a fraction of the way towards describing what utter, utter shits they all are.
Except Tyrion. I like Tyrion. He has no morals, he's willing to pay for friendship, and he is the nicest of the Lannisters. I kind of understand where he's coming from. I feel sorry for him. I can't even remember the last time I felt sorry for Circe, Jaime or Joffrey. (FUCK YOU JOFFREY. Sorry.) Actually, I can: I felt bad for Circe when she described them taking her first son away. BUT HEY, that was all fucking lies about wanting Bran to get better, so fuck her too. Sideways.
See, this - this is why you do not put spoiled inbred bastards on the throne. SEE, LITTLEFINGER. YOU TRAITOROUS SHIT. SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY OH WAIT OF COURSE YOU ARE NOW YOU CAN GO AND LEER AT HIS WIFE LIKE THE PERVERTED FUCK YOU ARE AND MAYBE EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO HAVE HER, FINALLY.
*rage rage rage rage rage*
So, congratulations Seven Kingdoms. You have officially lost the last of the decent men.
Yeah, I know Robb and Jon and Bran probably, and maybe even Tryion and Bronn are decent but shh.
On not-rage-related notes:
Tyrion and Bronn are awesome. I love them! They are great! They get all the best lines. :D (Also, I love that they had a sleepover with the whore. It made me giggle. Also, it is only a matter of time before they end up sharing a girl. I'm just saying, girls are in short supply I imagine and they're both, y'know, pretty logical and resourceful guys. I don't think it would damage their really quite amazing friendship that is based kind of entirely on the fact that Tyrion has money
Uh. Also, Tyrion getting knocked out on the way to battle. I laughed. Quite hard.
... Does blood really cling to swords like that? *morbid curiosity* Eugh.
Also, Arya! Her 'dance instructor'! I hope he's not dead (though I'm almost 100% sure he is). D: That would be such a waste. Aaaaaarrrryyaaaaaa. I am now starting to understand what ice_elf meant by what happened to the direwolves being symbolic of what happens to the kids. (I just hope Sansa doesn't die because of it.)
Speak of: Sansa was really quite clever! Using milk of the poppy to excuse Ned's actions, etc. BUT OH MAN. She'd better not go back to lo~oving Joffrey (fucking fucking dickhead bastard arugh) because I will hit things.
... I have not had this violent a reaction to something in a TV show since Burt had his heart attack in Glee. WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE DADS?!
I'm glad they have Jaime fucking Lannister in Stark custody. I'm also glad that Robb has brains enough to say, "We're not doing it your way." \o/ (HAHA, nice, it is so very very nice to see Jaime not getting his way. Spoiled prick.) I just hope. Fervently. That he gets his head taken off. As soon as they've made Circe and Joffrey do whateverthefuck they want. Because he does not deserve to live. NONE OF THEM DO.
I swear, I am not normally this bloodthirsty, but Ned. NED. NED STARK. DEAD. THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY FAIR.
I'm going to stop now because this is getting rageful and repetitive.
EDIT: Watch this, and imagine that Kuzko is Joffrey and I am Yzma. (And Kronk is Kronk because who wouldn't want their own personal Kronk?!)
Also, my jaw is being a bitch. It doesn't hurt (exactly) unless I poke it in a certain way, but it's all puffy and weird and seep-y (sorry TMI) on the inside. D:
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and read shmoopy fic in totally unrelated fandoms in an attempt to make myself feel a tiny bit better. It won't work.
.
I bet my housemates wondered what the everloving fuck was going on up here. What with me shouting "WHAT?" and "FUCK NO!" and "PLEASE NO!" and variations thereupon for the past five minutes. And banging the table so hard I've actually hurt my hand. Futilely.
Basically, I shall repeat what I said on Twitter. Which was (in essence) 140 characters of: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not Ned. Not Ned. Anybody but Ned. I think I would've even taken Jon's death better than this. Or Arya. Or Bran. But NOT NED PLEASE NO NOT NED.
Someone. Someone had better put some Lannister heads on some fucking spikes. Also, I want to punch that smug grin of Circe Lannister's face. And then I want to personally beat Joffrey to within an inch of his fucking life, because the little shit is an inbred monster and he needs to be put the fuck down.
Also, no one - no one - gets away with putting one of my favourite characters ever through that level of humiliation and degredation and then killing him.
Every episode. Just serves to make me want him dead more. Him and his fucking incestuous parents.
There aren't even words for what they are. I could swear a blue streak, but it would not help. It would not come even a fraction of the way towards describing what utter, utter shits they all are.
Except Tyrion. I like Tyrion. He has no morals, he's willing to pay for friendship, and he is the nicest of the Lannisters. I kind of understand where he's coming from. I feel sorry for him. I can't even remember the last time I felt sorry for Circe, Jaime or Joffrey. (FUCK YOU JOFFREY. Sorry.) Actually, I can: I felt bad for Circe when she described them taking her first son away. BUT HEY, that was all fucking lies about wanting Bran to get better, so fuck her too. Sideways.
See, this - this is why you do not put spoiled inbred bastards on the throne. SEE, LITTLEFINGER. YOU TRAITOROUS SHIT. SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY OH WAIT OF COURSE YOU ARE NOW YOU CAN GO AND LEER AT HIS WIFE LIKE THE PERVERTED FUCK YOU ARE AND MAYBE EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO HAVE HER, FINALLY.
*rage rage rage rage rage*
So, congratulations Seven Kingdoms. You have officially lost the last of the decent men.
Yeah, I know Robb and Jon and Bran probably, and maybe even Tryion and Bronn are decent but shh.
On not-rage-related notes:
Tyrion and Bronn are awesome. I love them! They are great! They get all the best lines. :D (Also, I love that they had a sleepover with the whore. It made me giggle. Also, it is only a matter of time before they end up sharing a girl. I'm just saying, girls are in short supply I imagine and they're both, y'know, pretty logical and resourceful guys. I don't think it would damage their really quite amazing friendship that is based kind of entirely on the fact that Tyrion has money
Uh. Also, Tyrion getting knocked out on the way to battle. I laughed. Quite hard.
... Does blood really cling to swords like that? *morbid curiosity* Eugh.
Also, Arya! Her 'dance instructor'! I hope he's not dead (though I'm almost 100% sure he is). D: That would be such a waste. Aaaaaarrrryyaaaaaa. I am now starting to understand what ice_elf meant by what happened to the direwolves being symbolic of what happens to the kids. (I just hope Sansa doesn't die because of it.)
Speak of: Sansa was really quite clever! Using milk of the poppy to excuse Ned's actions, etc. BUT OH MAN. She'd better not go back to lo~oving Joffrey (fucking fucking dickhead bastard arugh) because I will hit things.
... I have not had this violent a reaction to something in a TV show since Burt had his heart attack in Glee. WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE DADS?!
I'm glad they have Jaime fucking Lannister in Stark custody. I'm also glad that Robb has brains enough to say, "We're not doing it your way." \o/ (HAHA, nice, it is so very very nice to see Jaime not getting his way. Spoiled prick.) I just hope. Fervently. That he gets his head taken off. As soon as they've made Circe and Joffrey do whateverthefuck they want. Because he does not deserve to live. NONE OF THEM DO.
I swear, I am not normally this bloodthirsty, but Ned. NED. NED STARK. DEAD. THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY FAIR.
I'm going to stop now because this is getting rageful and repetitive.
EDIT: Watch this, and imagine that Kuzko is Joffrey and I am Yzma. (And Kronk is Kronk because who wouldn't want their own personal Kronk?!)
Also, my jaw is being a bitch. It doesn't hurt (exactly) unless I poke it in a certain way, but it's all puffy and weird and seep-y (sorry TMI) on the inside. D:
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and read shmoopy fic in totally unrelated fandoms in an attempt to make myself feel a tiny bit better. It won't work.
.