Train Travel
I know I promised the Pretty Meme, but then I realised a lot was going on this weekend, and I didn't want meme posts to elbow out the important stuff, like me coming home and Halloween and John Barrowman. :P
To be fair, my journey was kind of uneventful. Apart from THIS:
I got on the train at Canley and for a while, all was quiet. Then, the group on the table on the other side of the aisle (Vulgar Dude, His Friend and Friend's Girl) piped up. I forget how it began, but ... this was what happened.
Vulgar Dude started to insist - in-sist that his penis miraculously grew in the last two months from 6 inches to 7 inches. Then he aksed his friend how big his penis was. He then refused to listen when his friend was modest and said he didn't know. He then insisted that he did ("Course you do, you've measured it loads of times!") and said it was at least 8 inches. ("I feel your pain. Well, I don't. I don't know what that's like.")
He then went back to his own penis's miraculous growth. (I could imagine his friends' Faces of Discomfort. They were probably similar to mine.)
THEN he asked the girl what size boobs she had. ("If you don't mind.") She replied - quietly, shamefacedly - that her boobs are a size C. He was incredulous. ("But they're HUGE! You shouldn't complain that you have tiny boobs, they look way bigger than a C!")
THEN, he started harping on about boobs, and how much he loves them, and how much he loves to play with them, and how they're like water balloons. WATER BALLOONS. (Oh, Jesus, clearly he's never touched a boob.)
THEN (and this takes the cake): "Aw, I wish I had boobs! I'd just sit and play with them. *does the motions* LOOK AT MAH MAN-BOOBS!
I literally transcribed this on the train, some bits (like the boobs bit) while he was still talking. So, this is a 100% accurate transcription. To be fair, I could only hear the Vulgar Dude most of the time, but still.
Anyway, I found it kind of hilarious - so I thought I'd share. I hope it gets a laugh (or a despairing shake of the head) out of you guys, too.
.
To be fair, my journey was kind of uneventful. Apart from THIS:
I got on the train at Canley and for a while, all was quiet. Then, the group on the table on the other side of the aisle (Vulgar Dude, His Friend and Friend's Girl) piped up. I forget how it began, but ... this was what happened.
Vulgar Dude started to insist - in-sist that his penis miraculously grew in the last two months from 6 inches to 7 inches. Then he aksed his friend how big his penis was. He then refused to listen when his friend was modest and said he didn't know. He then insisted that he did ("Course you do, you've measured it loads of times!") and said it was at least 8 inches. ("I feel your pain. Well, I don't. I don't know what that's like.")
He then went back to his own penis's miraculous growth. (I could imagine his friends' Faces of Discomfort. They were probably similar to mine.)
THEN he asked the girl what size boobs she had. ("If you don't mind.") She replied - quietly, shamefacedly - that her boobs are a size C. He was incredulous. ("But they're HUGE! You shouldn't complain that you have tiny boobs, they look way bigger than a C!")
THEN, he started harping on about boobs, and how much he loves them, and how much he loves to play with them, and how they're like water balloons. WATER BALLOONS. (Oh, Jesus, clearly he's never touched a boob.)
THEN (and this takes the cake): "Aw, I wish I had boobs! I'd just sit and play with them. *does the motions* LOOK AT MAH MAN-BOOBS!
I literally transcribed this on the train, some bits (like the boobs bit) while he was still talking. So, this is a 100% accurate transcription. To be fair, I could only hear the Vulgar Dude most of the time, but still.
Anyway, I found it kind of hilarious - so I thought I'd share. I hope it gets a laugh (or a despairing shake of the head) out of you guys, too.
.