2 kinds of people in the world...
I read something this morning that struck a chord with me. The author suggested that people either primarily want to be right, or want to be happy. She suggested that if the person wants/needs to be right, he or she will only be satisfied when they get exactly what they want, how they want it. People who want to primarily be happy however, are generally quite flexible and open to new ideas and are not usually stuck on a fixed idea of how happiness "must" be achieved. As a matter of fact, a more creative path towards happiness tends to generate more happiness.
I agree with this observation on a fundamental level, except for one minor adjustment. The above suggests that this division is along the lines of a choice that somewhat excludes the path not selected (in other words, you can be one or the other, but not really both). In my experience, if you have to be right, you do have a far lower chance of also being happy consistently. However, if your choice is happiness, then you can be right or wrong and it is not going to fundamentally alter your outlook. In that situation, if you are less "right" than the situation calls for, you can adjust as soon as you recognize your error in judgment, simply because the situation calls for it. Neither your ego, nor your self-esteem will be affected, nor will you become a burden to people around you who might have to put up with your tantrum for not getting things your way.
Overall, happiness makes for a much cleaner and efficient environment for yourself as well as those near you. Plus, it tends to spread outward and can accumulate credit against future need (I give some of what I have to you today and some day in the future, when I need it, you share some in return).
The only obstacle in this cunning plan are those people who consider happiness as something of a personal affront or an obstacle in their chosen life path. I think we all have, at some point, met someone like that. The problem manifests itself in various ways and often disguises itself behind "a justified and understandable response to past hurt". In other words, person A could be happy, were it not for action Z committed against them by person B. These situations can very legitimately lead to great sorrow for some time and may alter the course of person A's life drastically, but as long as person A does not stop making any forward momentum at all, an adjustment will eventually take place and person A's future will be as potentially happy as anyone else.
Of course, on closer inspection, we usually discover that those people mentioned just now are in the category of those who need to be right, which is why they persist in announcing that they were wronged, and if everyone could just come around and realize that, they could finally get on with their lives.
Being a generally lazy person with a dislike for ongoing personal drama (it takes so much time away from things that really matter, like gardening, or good food, or sex, or a good book--in no order of merit and this not being a complete list by any stretch of the imagination)--where was I? Oh yes, ongoing personal drama is not fun, so personally I'd like to get it over with post haste and get on with the business of having fun and being happy. Say what you want, I know I am right about that.
I agree with this observation on a fundamental level, except for one minor adjustment. The above suggests that this division is along the lines of a choice that somewhat excludes the path not selected (in other words, you can be one or the other, but not really both). In my experience, if you have to be right, you do have a far lower chance of also being happy consistently. However, if your choice is happiness, then you can be right or wrong and it is not going to fundamentally alter your outlook. In that situation, if you are less "right" than the situation calls for, you can adjust as soon as you recognize your error in judgment, simply because the situation calls for it. Neither your ego, nor your self-esteem will be affected, nor will you become a burden to people around you who might have to put up with your tantrum for not getting things your way.
Overall, happiness makes for a much cleaner and efficient environment for yourself as well as those near you. Plus, it tends to spread outward and can accumulate credit against future need (I give some of what I have to you today and some day in the future, when I need it, you share some in return).
The only obstacle in this cunning plan are those people who consider happiness as something of a personal affront or an obstacle in their chosen life path. I think we all have, at some point, met someone like that. The problem manifests itself in various ways and often disguises itself behind "a justified and understandable response to past hurt". In other words, person A could be happy, were it not for action Z committed against them by person B. These situations can very legitimately lead to great sorrow for some time and may alter the course of person A's life drastically, but as long as person A does not stop making any forward momentum at all, an adjustment will eventually take place and person A's future will be as potentially happy as anyone else.
Of course, on closer inspection, we usually discover that those people mentioned just now are in the category of those who need to be right, which is why they persist in announcing that they were wronged, and if everyone could just come around and realize that, they could finally get on with their lives.
Being a generally lazy person with a dislike for ongoing personal drama (it takes so much time away from things that really matter, like gardening, or good food, or sex, or a good book--in no order of merit and this not being a complete list by any stretch of the imagination)--where was I? Oh yes, ongoing personal drama is not fun, so personally I'd like to get it over with post haste and get on with the business of having fun and being happy. Say what you want, I know I am right about that.