Fever if you kiss me. Fever if you hold me tight. you give me fever.
arg. I didn't mean to miss school today. I completely drowned the noise of my alarm and didn't wake up until 1!!
and then Aaron texted me asking me to come in early. well...that didn't so much bother me...I just felt like my day went nowhere.
Last night was alot of fun. I picked David up after he got off work and he came to my house for the first time. =] He's so funny. I felt like such a kid. First, we played Mario Kart on my N64. hah. Then we took my chalk and drew all over my walls. Then we played with my legos. we also played on the keyboard for awhile. I don't know what it is, but I love talking to him. We sat on my couch for "hours" and just talked. He seems to understand alot, but I think there's alot more to him than what he shows people. It feels like I know him more each time we talk. I don't know. It's really weird.
I couldn't stop crying the other day. I've had this horrible empty feeling the past couple days. I've mostly been missing my ex, because he's the only one I've really ever had. But I've been trying my best to move on. That's why I think im so interested in David. Because he's different than everyone else. He's cocky...and then he's not. I mean. He's def. very handsom. So, it's hard not to like him. But, i dont want to give my hopes up. you know?
I told David that I wanted to leave north carolina. He asked why. So, I told him that I felt like I wasn't getting what i needed. Then he asked me what i needed. I told him that I didn't know. He said I did know...and I laughed. He says "you want a boyfriend? and that's why you want to leave?"...i felt a little awkward after he said that. He told me I didn't need a boyfriend to feel intimate with someone. but, idk, it's not as simple as that.
idk.
My friends can be there for me. But...they aren't really "mine", i guess i should say...but...
I guess I just want the feelings that I use to feel back.