(no subject)
it is rare that I experience depression
when I do
it rarely hangs on
today
so far
depression is with me
hanging on
fighting efforts to let it go
sadness motivated by sadness
in me some strange mechanism
wants to let it live and evolve
in spite of associated misery
I don't like to admit to this
because of pride
because I want to be encouraging.
because I want to appear mature
because I want to be thought of
as capable of maintaining some level of inner-joy
because I fear that to many it will be seen as weakness
because I feel I should be able to defeat this
because I feel it is not the way I should be
because by the time people read this
it will
most likely
be done
and when they see me
they will wonder
and they might say something like "what the heck"
it is not simple
it is my experience
right now
so
that's how it is
but that's not the way it will be
God help me