(no subject)
Monday, April 04, 2005
asdfasfasdf
i am so fucking stressed i could just scream. someone make me a punching bag so i can practice projecting my anger in a physical form. i think ill tape a picture of the moron of the day (you earn the title when you really piss me off) onto it to make it more motivating to beat the crap out of it. work sucks school sucks everything sucks. i feel so fucking overwhelmed, im getting Cs in all my classes and im suppose to drop them if i do because it wuoldnt look good on the transfer script. fuck. fuck fuck fuck. i should be stingy with my being nice to people since some seem to think it necessary to take advantage of it. fuckers. burn. die. i have a fucking cold. im sick. im fatigued. i have a splitting headache from contemplating things that arent worth worrying over. and also on things that ARE worth worrying over. sometimes you just cant count on anyone, you wish you can but heh guess what, you're living in a gullible fantasy world if you do. there are only a very few ppl i can count on. first of all alice, i love her to death. she is my brother's gf and i have known her for four to five years. she is the only person whom i am SURE of when i say i would literally die for. i am going to save up money and treat her with a massage. :) she deserves it, shes going through shit too. and im way too fucking generous with my money when im so fucking broke its saddening. no more treating ppl anything! i loved the act of giving but look where i ended up. and erik my best friend. i can count on him and i know it. thats it. other ppl whom i have known for a long time and whom i believe i am so close to, the truth is, i think it would be foolish to put 100 percent faith into them. ive talked to them for a year but i havent met them. another friend he's so caring but i cant count on him either. because i know i shouldnt. im so bitter. it's probably the caffiene. caffiene always makes me irritated and angst up as hell. i dont think im receiving the affection/love/care/whateverthefuck i deserve. its sad. ahhhhh maybe its the caffiene thats talking shit about everything. or no, its me but with negative thoughts thats been magnified to four or so times. bah!
asdfasfasdf
i am so fucking stressed i could just scream. someone make me a punching bag so i can practice projecting my anger in a physical form. i think ill tape a picture of the moron of the day (you earn the title when you really piss me off) onto it to make it more motivating to beat the crap out of it. work sucks school sucks everything sucks. i feel so fucking overwhelmed, im getting Cs in all my classes and im suppose to drop them if i do because it wuoldnt look good on the transfer script. fuck. fuck fuck fuck. i should be stingy with my being nice to people since some seem to think it necessary to take advantage of it. fuckers. burn. die. i have a fucking cold. im sick. im fatigued. i have a splitting headache from contemplating things that arent worth worrying over. and also on things that ARE worth worrying over. sometimes you just cant count on anyone, you wish you can but heh guess what, you're living in a gullible fantasy world if you do. there are only a very few ppl i can count on. first of all alice, i love her to death. she is my brother's gf and i have known her for four to five years. she is the only person whom i am SURE of when i say i would literally die for. i am going to save up money and treat her with a massage. :) she deserves it, shes going through shit too. and im way too fucking generous with my money when im so fucking broke its saddening. no more treating ppl anything! i loved the act of giving but look where i ended up. and erik my best friend. i can count on him and i know it. thats it. other ppl whom i have known for a long time and whom i believe i am so close to, the truth is, i think it would be foolish to put 100 percent faith into them. ive talked to them for a year but i havent met them. another friend he's so caring but i cant count on him either. because i know i shouldnt. im so bitter. it's probably the caffiene. caffiene always makes me irritated and angst up as hell. i dont think im receiving the affection/love/care/whateverthefuck i deserve. its sad. ahhhhh maybe its the caffiene thats talking shit about everything. or no, its me but with negative thoughts thats been magnified to four or so times. bah!