It blows my mind....that after all this time...it's still only you

[b1g_red]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Right now I'm eating buttery and cheesy spaghetti, illegally drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade and feeling bad for myself. Bahaha.

School sucks. I really hate it. I dread it every day. I mean, I love

Comments

[rufusisking]

fus?

um i havent applied yet

i have a 56 in euro

and probably about the same in english

im grounded until jan 20

had to quit work

have been excluded by my friends

am dating a 24 year old and a girl, neither of which i can tell my mom

have destroyed all trust in my family because i lied about finishing my incompletes and got found out by guidance etc and have a meeting with them on monday i guess.

have to put together a solo concert

am constantly reminded that I have blown my future

am constantly yelled at

am not talking to my mom (she hasnt said aything for two days. its as bad as when i came out)

still think about tyree

am not allowed over the delmore house, the one sacred place i have

never stop sleeping

feel guilty for not volunteering more

have skipped school for an entire week and have more makeup work than you know

have been shirking all my club responsibilities

have been gaining weight

dont have enough money to go to europe with my friend this summer

havent hung out with you in months

cant try out for any shows

am still a virgin but made ot feel ashamed

am not allowed to go to hebrew school

dont have the talent i wish i had

am desperate to get into one school

miss barcelona with all of my heart

am selfish

and disappointed.

things im looking foward to:
-graduation
-israel
-moving out
-maybe getting into college
-jan 20
-being fluent in spanish (im taking 3 hours of it next sem)
-i like music theory. ill miss it next sem
-SUMMER FUCK YAH
-seeing casey someday
-making friends?
<3