#7 - For Everyone, from your mixup partner!
Title: Apple Pie
For: Everyone!
Pairing/Focus: Gongchan/Jinyoung
Rating: R (for the triggers)
Word Count: 2,300
Summary: When Gongchan found his soulmate tattoo on his 18th birthday he wondered how it would happen.
Notes/Warnings:Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder, Depression. I hope you have a great summer, and honestly your soulmate prompt was amazing. I literally had so many ideas for it and it lead to this. As another note, I would also like to mention that as someone who has been battling an eating disorder for a really long time, I really hope it comes across the way I want it to. Have a fantastic summer!!!!!!!
Gongchan’s heart dropped as he saw the words, printed on his arm. Hey Asshole, Why are you here? it was his 18th Birthday and these were the first words his soulmate was going to say to him. He had hoped for something romantic, and he really wondered what was the response he was going to give, or what he said to get that. He sighed when he had to go down it was his 18th birthday and despite being an orphan he was still going to have some form of birthday breakfast. He sat down as the others all fawned over him, wanting to know what words had appeared. When he showed them they all laughed. He didn’t find it funny but he understood why everyone would find it amusing that he wasn’t going to get off to the best of starts.
*-*-* 3 Years Later *-*-*
Gongchan sat in the office as the doctor ran through the rules. He didn’t even care. He didn’t want to be here, he wanted to be with his parents. They said that he’d had a break down, a repressed memory finally being unlocked. He was a threat to himself and to others but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get out. And he knew he was capable. Gongchan was taken out to an area where the patients were kept together, being informed that it wasn’t just break downs. Gongchan’s eyes scanned the group who were told to be his ward mates. One with scars on their face and arms that Gongchan assumed they’d done to themselves, another who shifted uncomfortably at the thought of another person being introduced, a few that he couldn’t diagnose from just looking at them and then a boy at the end, sat on the sofa, legs up to his chest. Skeletal.
Gongchan didn’t speak he just went to sit down. He didn’t care what any of them had to say. He wasn’t here to make friends. He was here to get out so he could live his life again. He didn’t want to go back to being curled up in his shower screaming until he lost his voice. He wanted to be able to take control of his life again.
“Hey asshole, why are you here?” he looked over it was the skeletal boy who’d spoken. Gongchan looked away. He then looked back when it was repeated.
“Does it bother you that not everyone is as obvious as you?” Gongchan shot back.
“What’s your soulmate tattoo?”
“Why?”
“Just tell me, Assface.” Jinyoung moved over and Gongchan showed him. “That’s the first thing I said to you.” Jinyoung moved to show Gongchan his. “And this is what you said to me. We’re soulmates.” Gongchan just looked at Jinyoung. “You’re as attractive as I imagined, I mean you need cleaning up, but other than that you’re good looking, and you look like you have strong legs, which means good hips.” Jinyoung smiled more.
“I’m not gay.”
“You clearly fucking are.” Jinyoung said poking Gongchan a little. “What are you here for? I mean you have a six pack.” Gongchan shook his head. “You know you can say it, everyone else does.” Jinyoung said. “I mean over there we have Shinwoo, he’s go nightmare disorder and psychotic depression, hence the scars.” Jinyoung said, Shinwoo looked over and waved. Jinyoung went on to describe everyone’s reasons for being here except his own. “So Assface, name and diagnosis.”
“I always thought these places would be don’t ask don’t tell.”
“We have group therapy. We have to help each other.”
“And what are you?”
“Me?” Jinyoung shrugged. “I’m Jinyoung and I’ve been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa with purging patterns and body dysmorphic thoughts.”
“I had a breakdown.” Gongchan said quietly. “I’m Gongchan.”
“Real name soul mate.”
“Gong Chan Shik.”
“Beautiful. I’m Jung Jinyoung.” Jinyoung said with a smile, Gongchan kept his eyes on Jinyoung’s body and then looked back at his face. “I know what you’re thinking Gongchan, you can say it out loud, the doctors say it to me.”
“You’re really a pretty man.” Gongchan said quietly. “I mean you’d look better with a bit more weight, but you’re still attractive. But we’re both here because we fucked up.” Jinyoung sighed a little and pressed a quick kiss to Gongchan’s cheek.
“Trust me, we’re not the first people to find our match here.” Jinyoung moved a little, looking around there were a few other couples. “As long as we don’t encourage each other to make our condition’s worse they don’t stop us being together. So you just have to look like you want me to gain weight, but don’t really try to pull anything to make me gain weight, because I will cut you.” Jinyoung smiled a little, “don’t worry I still suck dick.” Jinyoung purred in Gongchan’s ear, he didn’t know why but he didn’t really want to meet his soulmate and jump straight to sex. Before he was admitted Jinyoung was sleeping around, it was the only time he’d felt good about himself, but he wanted to do things the right way with his soulmate, he wanted to be able to be romantic and not intimate, the way he'd imagined it would be when he turned 18 and found out what the first words his soul mate was going to say to him.
Jinyoung was already restricting food at 18, it just got worse from there, he wanted to be perfect and to him perfection was slim. He'd lost control and now he was here, where he had no control at all. "You're a short stay aren't you?" Jinyoung said quietly. Gongchan was going to get out and he was going to be left behind. His soulmate was going to leave. Jinyoung was here until he gained enough weight, and the way he was going he was never going to make the target weight.
Jinyoung forced the dinner that night down, offering Gongchan a smile, he hated it. He hated knowing he'd eaten and he'd liked it. He looked at his empty bowl, it made him feel sick, the nurse came round and praised him for eating well. He looked down as he was reminded of the rules. He was going to be watched, he smiled as he got up and went to sit in the group area, Jinyoung had gone quiet, he knew why he'd acted the way he had, fear. His soulmate was a short stay. Gongchan sat next to Jinyoung and looked at him. “Jinyoung, what are you doing?” he said quietly. Jinyoung moved to curl into Gongchan, letting the other just hold him. "I was told you never eat the whole thing." Jinyoung held onto him more. "It makes me proud to be your soulmate."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Jinyoung had relaxed into knowing Gongchan, it was weird to have a soulmate but at the same time it was nice. He smiled at the tattoo of the first words Gongchan said to him. He looked over at Gongchan who was reading something. Jinyoung wanted attention, he was trying to keep his weight off his mind. He needed to get out as close to Gongchan as possible, and he liked how Gongchan would complement him, never about how he looked. They avoided talking about weight, other than at the weekly weigh-ins. Jinyoung knew he was getting bigger, his clothes were starting to fit him. “Channie.” He said quietly. Gongchan looked over at Jinyoung. “I don’t think I can gain weight much longer.” He smiled as Gongchan wrapped his arm around Jinyoung.
“I know you’ve been battling hard” Gongchan pressed a kiss to the top of Jinyoung’s head. “We can beat it together.” Jinyoung nodded and held onto Gongchan. He wasn’t getting better for Gongchan, and he knew deep down, he wanted to be better, so he could live life. So he could marry Gongchan, but also so he could meet the kids Gongchan grew up with at the orphanage. So they could eat Christmas dinner with Jinyoung’s family and Gongchan could meet his sister. So maybe one day they could lie under the stars and kiss, like they’d always talked about.
“I’m going to get my target weight.” Jinyoung said quietly. “But then I’m being released to my family. And they have to monitor my eating.” He bit his lip a little. “I know I can’t be released to you, because of your health, but will you come see me.” Jinyoung said quietly. “and rub my tummy when I feel sick and all the other stuff we do.” Jinyoung pressed a kiss to Gongchan’s lips.
Gongchan nodded, he really didn’t want to be apart from Jinyoung, he was starting to believe that him getting better was an act. “I’ll even come pick you up.” He smiled. “When you come out, that night if you feel like it, we’ll do our deal.” The deal was sex, Jinyoung made Gongchan promise him that they would have sex the first night they were both out. Jinyoung would be at his target weight - and he was sure he was going to feel fat and unattractive, but he really wanted to give himself to Gongchan. Gongchan smiled as Jinyoung nodded. “You aren’t far off your target weight are you?” Gongchan smiled. “I get out on Saturday, you’re only going to be a couple of weeks aren’t you?” Jinyoung nodded.
“Well in a couple of weeks I get to come home, but I’ve still got to come in during most days. And I have to get weighed every week to make sure I maintain my weight or add to it.” He mumbled. “and my family have to fill in this thing of what they see me eat every day and the calories and stuff.” Jinyoung moved a little. “and your cock doesn’t count.” He purred. “I love you” Jinyoung said getting up, after being told he had to go to the nutritionist.
Jinyoung was still difficult to talk to. The nutritionist was trying to help him find a diet for him to be on when he left, so he kept the weight on. But it was difficult when Jinyoung insisted his favourite food was dick. Jinyoung sat there, he was uncomfortable, he filled his clothes and he needed new ones. He looked at the nutritionist as she spoke but his thoughts were completely on the waist band of his trousers that were tight. He started panicking, he knew this day would come, where he’d have to wear the size above, but he felt disgusting. He looked at the nutritionist, who’d clocked onto what was going on, and was holding out some clothes. Jinyoung got changed, he liked being in more comfortable clothes, but he hated they were a size bigger. He sat back down and then looked down. “Jinyoung, you’ve got 4 weeks to go. If you keep gaining weight steadily. You might go up another size, but it’s ok. I have clothes for when things get too tight, and we will tell your family what size you are, so you don’t have a wardrobe of clothes that are too small.” Jinyoung nodded. “You’re still a very skinny man.”
Jinyoung felt his heart hurt when Gongchan got out. It made him more determined to get out, to fight against his own instinct, because as much as he wanted to be thin, perfect, beautiful. He wanted to be with Gongchan 100 times more. Clearly the boy was his soulmate, he was the only person in the world who made Jinyoung feel like if he maybe started eating normally, he would still be ok. That he would be ok if he finished a meal, and didn’t just live on an apple and a packet of chips per day. Jinyoung felt like maybe they could make a real life together, that their imperfections could make some form of perfection.
When he was released he was so happy to see Gongchan standing with his parents waiting for him, and to find out that Gongchan had pretty much convinced his parents that he should live with them. They kissed and Jinyoung held tightly onto Gongchan, never wanting to let go. He closed his eyes and held close to his soulmate. “I love you Jinyoung. You look great, and we’re taking you home.” Jinyoung smiled at Gongchan’s words.
At home, it was all good until it came to dinner. Gongchan tried to support Jinyoung but it was hard. Jinyoung didn’t want to eat. Gongchan moved and then looked at Jinyoung. “You know, you can eat it all Jin.” Jinyoung just continued to force himself in silence. “It’s not even enough calories Jin.” Gongchan said quietly. Jinyoung glared at Gongchan it was enough, it was too much. “I made low fat apple pie.” Gongchan said quietly, “If you finish this and the apple pie, not only will you have completed a meal, but I will, well we’re going to look at the stars tonight.” He smiled, and pressed a kiss to Jinyoung’s cheek.
When Jinyoung struggled through the pie, Gongchan watched him and worried, he had to be hard on him. The whole family, had to give him no choice, but to eat. It was what they were told to do, and all Gongchan wanted for Jinyoung to get better. When he finished Gongchan smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Jinyoung burst into tears and held onto Gongchan who was just rubbing his back. “I haven’t eaten apple pie since I was 14” Jinyoung cried, just maybe he could get better with the help of his soulmate.
For: Everyone!
Pairing/Focus: Gongchan/Jinyoung
Rating: R (for the triggers)
Word Count: 2,300
Summary: When Gongchan found his soulmate tattoo on his 18th birthday he wondered how it would happen.
Notes/Warnings:Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder, Depression. I hope you have a great summer, and honestly your soulmate prompt was amazing. I literally had so many ideas for it and it lead to this. As another note, I would also like to mention that as someone who has been battling an eating disorder for a really long time, I really hope it comes across the way I want it to. Have a fantastic summer!!!!!!!
Gongchan’s heart dropped as he saw the words, printed on his arm. Hey Asshole, Why are you here? it was his 18th Birthday and these were the first words his soulmate was going to say to him. He had hoped for something romantic, and he really wondered what was the response he was going to give, or what he said to get that. He sighed when he had to go down it was his 18th birthday and despite being an orphan he was still going to have some form of birthday breakfast. He sat down as the others all fawned over him, wanting to know what words had appeared. When he showed them they all laughed. He didn’t find it funny but he understood why everyone would find it amusing that he wasn’t going to get off to the best of starts.
*-*-* 3 Years Later *-*-*
Gongchan sat in the office as the doctor ran through the rules. He didn’t even care. He didn’t want to be here, he wanted to be with his parents. They said that he’d had a break down, a repressed memory finally being unlocked. He was a threat to himself and to others but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get out. And he knew he was capable. Gongchan was taken out to an area where the patients were kept together, being informed that it wasn’t just break downs. Gongchan’s eyes scanned the group who were told to be his ward mates. One with scars on their face and arms that Gongchan assumed they’d done to themselves, another who shifted uncomfortably at the thought of another person being introduced, a few that he couldn’t diagnose from just looking at them and then a boy at the end, sat on the sofa, legs up to his chest. Skeletal.
Gongchan didn’t speak he just went to sit down. He didn’t care what any of them had to say. He wasn’t here to make friends. He was here to get out so he could live his life again. He didn’t want to go back to being curled up in his shower screaming until he lost his voice. He wanted to be able to take control of his life again.
“Hey asshole, why are you here?” he looked over it was the skeletal boy who’d spoken. Gongchan looked away. He then looked back when it was repeated.
“Does it bother you that not everyone is as obvious as you?” Gongchan shot back.
“What’s your soulmate tattoo?”
“Why?”
“Just tell me, Assface.” Jinyoung moved over and Gongchan showed him. “That’s the first thing I said to you.” Jinyoung moved to show Gongchan his. “And this is what you said to me. We’re soulmates.” Gongchan just looked at Jinyoung. “You’re as attractive as I imagined, I mean you need cleaning up, but other than that you’re good looking, and you look like you have strong legs, which means good hips.” Jinyoung smiled more.
“I’m not gay.”
“You clearly fucking are.” Jinyoung said poking Gongchan a little. “What are you here for? I mean you have a six pack.” Gongchan shook his head. “You know you can say it, everyone else does.” Jinyoung said. “I mean over there we have Shinwoo, he’s go nightmare disorder and psychotic depression, hence the scars.” Jinyoung said, Shinwoo looked over and waved. Jinyoung went on to describe everyone’s reasons for being here except his own. “So Assface, name and diagnosis.”
“I always thought these places would be don’t ask don’t tell.”
“We have group therapy. We have to help each other.”
“And what are you?”
“Me?” Jinyoung shrugged. “I’m Jinyoung and I’ve been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa with purging patterns and body dysmorphic thoughts.”
“I had a breakdown.” Gongchan said quietly. “I’m Gongchan.”
“Real name soul mate.”
“Gong Chan Shik.”
“Beautiful. I’m Jung Jinyoung.” Jinyoung said with a smile, Gongchan kept his eyes on Jinyoung’s body and then looked back at his face. “I know what you’re thinking Gongchan, you can say it out loud, the doctors say it to me.”
“You’re really a pretty man.” Gongchan said quietly. “I mean you’d look better with a bit more weight, but you’re still attractive. But we’re both here because we fucked up.” Jinyoung sighed a little and pressed a quick kiss to Gongchan’s cheek.
“Trust me, we’re not the first people to find our match here.” Jinyoung moved a little, looking around there were a few other couples. “As long as we don’t encourage each other to make our condition’s worse they don’t stop us being together. So you just have to look like you want me to gain weight, but don’t really try to pull anything to make me gain weight, because I will cut you.” Jinyoung smiled a little, “don’t worry I still suck dick.” Jinyoung purred in Gongchan’s ear, he didn’t know why but he didn’t really want to meet his soulmate and jump straight to sex. Before he was admitted Jinyoung was sleeping around, it was the only time he’d felt good about himself, but he wanted to do things the right way with his soulmate, he wanted to be able to be romantic and not intimate, the way he'd imagined it would be when he turned 18 and found out what the first words his soul mate was going to say to him.
Jinyoung was already restricting food at 18, it just got worse from there, he wanted to be perfect and to him perfection was slim. He'd lost control and now he was here, where he had no control at all. "You're a short stay aren't you?" Jinyoung said quietly. Gongchan was going to get out and he was going to be left behind. His soulmate was going to leave. Jinyoung was here until he gained enough weight, and the way he was going he was never going to make the target weight.
Jinyoung forced the dinner that night down, offering Gongchan a smile, he hated it. He hated knowing he'd eaten and he'd liked it. He looked at his empty bowl, it made him feel sick, the nurse came round and praised him for eating well. He looked down as he was reminded of the rules. He was going to be watched, he smiled as he got up and went to sit in the group area, Jinyoung had gone quiet, he knew why he'd acted the way he had, fear. His soulmate was a short stay. Gongchan sat next to Jinyoung and looked at him. “Jinyoung, what are you doing?” he said quietly. Jinyoung moved to curl into Gongchan, letting the other just hold him. "I was told you never eat the whole thing." Jinyoung held onto him more. "It makes me proud to be your soulmate."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Jinyoung had relaxed into knowing Gongchan, it was weird to have a soulmate but at the same time it was nice. He smiled at the tattoo of the first words Gongchan said to him. He looked over at Gongchan who was reading something. Jinyoung wanted attention, he was trying to keep his weight off his mind. He needed to get out as close to Gongchan as possible, and he liked how Gongchan would complement him, never about how he looked. They avoided talking about weight, other than at the weekly weigh-ins. Jinyoung knew he was getting bigger, his clothes were starting to fit him. “Channie.” He said quietly. Gongchan looked over at Jinyoung. “I don’t think I can gain weight much longer.” He smiled as Gongchan wrapped his arm around Jinyoung.
“I know you’ve been battling hard” Gongchan pressed a kiss to the top of Jinyoung’s head. “We can beat it together.” Jinyoung nodded and held onto Gongchan. He wasn’t getting better for Gongchan, and he knew deep down, he wanted to be better, so he could live life. So he could marry Gongchan, but also so he could meet the kids Gongchan grew up with at the orphanage. So they could eat Christmas dinner with Jinyoung’s family and Gongchan could meet his sister. So maybe one day they could lie under the stars and kiss, like they’d always talked about.
“I’m going to get my target weight.” Jinyoung said quietly. “But then I’m being released to my family. And they have to monitor my eating.” He bit his lip a little. “I know I can’t be released to you, because of your health, but will you come see me.” Jinyoung said quietly. “and rub my tummy when I feel sick and all the other stuff we do.” Jinyoung pressed a kiss to Gongchan’s lips.
Gongchan nodded, he really didn’t want to be apart from Jinyoung, he was starting to believe that him getting better was an act. “I’ll even come pick you up.” He smiled. “When you come out, that night if you feel like it, we’ll do our deal.” The deal was sex, Jinyoung made Gongchan promise him that they would have sex the first night they were both out. Jinyoung would be at his target weight - and he was sure he was going to feel fat and unattractive, but he really wanted to give himself to Gongchan. Gongchan smiled as Jinyoung nodded. “You aren’t far off your target weight are you?” Gongchan smiled. “I get out on Saturday, you’re only going to be a couple of weeks aren’t you?” Jinyoung nodded.
“Well in a couple of weeks I get to come home, but I’ve still got to come in during most days. And I have to get weighed every week to make sure I maintain my weight or add to it.” He mumbled. “and my family have to fill in this thing of what they see me eat every day and the calories and stuff.” Jinyoung moved a little. “and your cock doesn’t count.” He purred. “I love you” Jinyoung said getting up, after being told he had to go to the nutritionist.
Jinyoung was still difficult to talk to. The nutritionist was trying to help him find a diet for him to be on when he left, so he kept the weight on. But it was difficult when Jinyoung insisted his favourite food was dick. Jinyoung sat there, he was uncomfortable, he filled his clothes and he needed new ones. He looked at the nutritionist as she spoke but his thoughts were completely on the waist band of his trousers that were tight. He started panicking, he knew this day would come, where he’d have to wear the size above, but he felt disgusting. He looked at the nutritionist, who’d clocked onto what was going on, and was holding out some clothes. Jinyoung got changed, he liked being in more comfortable clothes, but he hated they were a size bigger. He sat back down and then looked down. “Jinyoung, you’ve got 4 weeks to go. If you keep gaining weight steadily. You might go up another size, but it’s ok. I have clothes for when things get too tight, and we will tell your family what size you are, so you don’t have a wardrobe of clothes that are too small.” Jinyoung nodded. “You’re still a very skinny man.”
Jinyoung felt his heart hurt when Gongchan got out. It made him more determined to get out, to fight against his own instinct, because as much as he wanted to be thin, perfect, beautiful. He wanted to be with Gongchan 100 times more. Clearly the boy was his soulmate, he was the only person in the world who made Jinyoung feel like if he maybe started eating normally, he would still be ok. That he would be ok if he finished a meal, and didn’t just live on an apple and a packet of chips per day. Jinyoung felt like maybe they could make a real life together, that their imperfections could make some form of perfection.
When he was released he was so happy to see Gongchan standing with his parents waiting for him, and to find out that Gongchan had pretty much convinced his parents that he should live with them. They kissed and Jinyoung held tightly onto Gongchan, never wanting to let go. He closed his eyes and held close to his soulmate. “I love you Jinyoung. You look great, and we’re taking you home.” Jinyoung smiled at Gongchan’s words.
At home, it was all good until it came to dinner. Gongchan tried to support Jinyoung but it was hard. Jinyoung didn’t want to eat. Gongchan moved and then looked at Jinyoung. “You know, you can eat it all Jin.” Jinyoung just continued to force himself in silence. “It’s not even enough calories Jin.” Gongchan said quietly. Jinyoung glared at Gongchan it was enough, it was too much. “I made low fat apple pie.” Gongchan said quietly, “If you finish this and the apple pie, not only will you have completed a meal, but I will, well we’re going to look at the stars tonight.” He smiled, and pressed a kiss to Jinyoung’s cheek.
When Jinyoung struggled through the pie, Gongchan watched him and worried, he had to be hard on him. The whole family, had to give him no choice, but to eat. It was what they were told to do, and all Gongchan wanted for Jinyoung to get better. When he finished Gongchan smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Jinyoung burst into tears and held onto Gongchan who was just rubbing his back. “I haven’t eaten apple pie since I was 14” Jinyoung cried, just maybe he could get better with the help of his soulmate.