#14 - for hotarumyst, from your secret santa!
Title: someone i used to know
For: hotarumyst
Pairing/Focus: Sandeul/Gongchan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5800+
Summary: Junghwan writes letters to someone he used to know
Notes/Warnings: Inspired by a book about sending messages through time, I can't remember the title however, sorry.
2023
Autumn leaves don't belong in winter.
Junghwan observes this first hand as he walks down the bustling streets of the city. The trees that line the sidewalks are all barren cept for a couple of orange, red, and yellow stragglers of fall. They're just barely hanging on by a thread as they're pulled and tugged in every which way by the unrelenting wind. They’re as flimsy as paper and Junghwan can’t help but feel the same way as he braces himself against another harsh gust, as well. His cheeks are frozen in place and his fingers numb, and he’s only been outside for a total of five minutes. Junghwan thinks, perhaps, whatever warm colors his cheeks once possessed were sapped away and stored into the sparse foliage-- somehow sucking away his vitality.
Okay, maybe Junghwan’s exaggerating now. It’s the cold and frigid air that’s affecting him, he swears.
Despite whatever fear that he harbors over the trees though, he still admires the leaves, if only for brief moments in between his walk to work. His eyes glaze over their mismatched colors which strikingly contrast against the grey morning. He’ll stare, and stare until his eyes lose focus. He also can’t help himself from stopping every three minutes to snap a quick picture of the scenery around him, too.
He throws all caution to the wind and just admires the scenery. Besides, he doubts it matters if he's late for work or not; it's kind of hard to be noticed in his huge company. Often times, he even finds it frustrating to keep track of all the people coming and going. Working in a sea of cubicles does that to a person, after all.
With one last fleeting glance, along with an avid staring contest with a squirrel, he tightens his scarf and picks up his pace. He’ll never get to work if he keeps getting distracted by the scenery, it’s not like it’s new or anything, either. He’s seen the same trees over a dozen times and he swears that that’s the same squirrel that glares at him everyday. Junghwan sighs and sets his eyes onto the pavement. It’s boring and it’s lifeless. The sidewalk is the same color as the sky, and if it weren't for the cracks embedded in it, he might have thought they were one in the same.
He stuffs his hands into the deep pockets of his coat and hurries along, seeing the company’s glassy building down the street. And by the time Junghwan enters through its doors, it's nine o'clock (it’s also apparently four pm in california from what the multitude of international clocks tell him).
The company is really nothing special, blending right in with the busy downtown district. It's a goliath of a place with several floors and modern elevators constantly jumping from each department. There are receptionists in the lobby busily taking phone calls in pencil skirts, typing away on perfectly manicured nails, and security is just a desk to the left of them.
Security is mostly comprised of big, burly guys in uniforms, intimidating any would-be thieves and scam artists; Junghwan’s not sure who would want to threaten a tourism company, but he supposes their prices were ‘not of this world,’ if he were to believe the folks in advertisement.
Before heading to the elevators, Junghwan is sure to highfive the security guard Inro. It's a daily ritual kind of thing. Sure, Junghwan's right hand starts to turn as red as the lipstick of some of the office girls, but so does Inro's, so no skin off his bones.
Junghwan pushes the elevator’s call button and stares at the digital numbers informing him of their locations. He bites his lip trying to figure out which door is going to open; maybe it’ll be the left one, or the right, maybe even the middle. His eyes jump from door to door, waiting for one to slide open. It’s pretty tedious, he has to admit, considering the fact he could probably just walk up the dreaded three flights of stairs. And though he knows this, he still doesn’t brave the four minute journey. It was most likely all the walking that it required of him that eliminated the stairs from use, but it was probably more likely due the interns that hang out there during their breaks.
Junghwan’s learned the hard way that college kids that run around all day getting coffee get pretty irritated when intruded upon. He blames all the caffeine they inject into their blood.
Whatever the mysterious reasoning is however, Junghwan can’t say the elevators are any better of a substitute.
It's an anxiety thing. Elevators are machines... and machines break.
However, he'd rather take his chances dying with a few other people rather than by himself at the hands of someone more severely underpaid than him.
He could see it now:
Name: Lee Junghwan
Occupation: Accountant
Age: 27
Birth: March 20, 1995
Death: December 8, 2023
Cause: Savagely beaten by a couple of rowdy interns.
Junghwan chooses to ignore the absurdity of a man in his late twenties being intimidated by a bunch of teens -- some who still can't even drink legally -- while he enters the elevator (it was the rightmost elevator that had come down first).
He tries his best to avoid the safety regulations sheet and the whirling sounds of the elevator. He’s relieved when the metal doors gloriously slide open again, opening into the financial department. He is met with the usual army of cubicles awaiting him.
After working in the place for nearly four years already, Junghwan’s got the floor plan memorized: he takes ten steps to the right, fifteen forward, three to the left, highfives Shinwoo, proceeds to the cubicle next to him, and he’s there.
He slumps into his lumpy office chair, hanging his thin coat onto the chair’s back. He turns his computer on with a yawn caught in his throat. Whatever energy he had earlier was zapped away by the impersonal edifice, just like the leaves with his warmth. All Junghwan can think about is sleep and things associated with it.
He's near the point of having his face smash against the keyboard before he remembers the company's only real highlight: donuts. A dreamy smile breaks out on his lips as he heads to the break room, abandoning his barely running computer.
Junghwan stifles another yawn as his eyes wander from the jelly filled donuts to the more classical styles. In the end, Junghwan takes one of each flavor. Marketing had about thirty people working and five boxes of donuts, it wasn’t really hard for any of them to do the math. After the very tiring task of juggling all his snacks, he eventually returns to his desk with some coffee that's more milk and sugar than caffeine, in one hand, and a stack of donuts in the other.
Time to get to work, Junghwan thinks as he stares blankly at his computer screen for a while. He’s trying to figure out what he’s supposed to be doing for the day. There are files on his desk, but he’s not sure if they’re important or by when they need to be done. He leans back in his chair to make himself more comfortable as he continues to debate on doing them or not. Junghwan ends up concluding that since no one’s come by to tell him to work directly, he kinds of doubts their urgency. So, like a majority of the other employees, the brunette plays Solitaire for an hour.
He clicking and dragging his mouse and eating and drinking his food. Occasionally he'll peek over his cubicle into Shinwoo's and compare their games.
Junghwan probably spends half his work day doing just this. His routine like trance doesn’t really break until he realizes he’s out of fried dough and coffee. So he does what any other sane person would do: he fills the emptiness with social networking sites. He scrolls through them, some old and some new. Apparently one of his friends was getting married soon and another was having their second child. God, Junghwan shivers, these were people he knew since grade school and the idea of them being parents was downright frightening (especially the thought of sunwoo, the guy who broke his nose after running into a glass door).
Junghwan decides he's had enough of the creeps the sites were giving him and checks his emails, instead. Junghwan's eyes catches an email from his mother and his body fills with dread, as she only ever sends him cheesy jokes and, of course, chain mails.
(she labels the latter with ‘URGENT’, especially those which threaten the lives of the recipient’s mother. grandma’s dead, too, which begs the question as to why she even feels compelled to pass it on in the first place.)
Well, Junghwan’s not sure whether or not to click on the email with the subject ‘this is you’. He does in the end, though, because his mother sent it to him.
Dear future me,
Hey, Junghwan, it’s me: Junghwan-- actually, do they call me Junghwan in the future, or am I still Sandeul? Anyway, it feels weird having to write you a letter because, well, you’re me. I guess you and I will just have to bear with this stupid project.
Ummmmm... how’s the future? Am I married to Yeeun of Wonder Girls yet? Please tell me yes. Do we live in some big, fancy house with two kids and a dog? Am I rich and successful? Please tell me I’m that brat Chanshik’s boss! That is all I want in life, please. Okay, that’s a lie. I want a lot of stuff. But bottom line, am I a huge, awesome success?
Hmmm.. well, if you’re reading this letter in the future then that means you at least have wifi. Wifi is good. Moving on, I sure hope you’re cool future me, oh, and handsome. Hah, who am I kidding, of course I’m handsome. I bet we got all the ladies in college. I hear being a Pokemon and Yugioh fan is more acceptable at universities, not sure why, but that’s all I know. Oh, and in the future, are there robots? Is mine and Yeeune’s son actually a robot? Man, the future must be awesome.
Love me,
Sandeul
It takes a while for Junghwan to comprehend the block of text in front of him. Why was there a letter from him in his emails? And why is there this gaping hole in his memory about it? He tries to brush off the email as no big deal, just something he wrote as a joke a few years ago probably. He did stupid things like that a lot in the past, so it is plausible. He shrugs it off and plays online poker until he loses all his imaginary chips. However, in the back of his mind, he’s still thinking about it.
It doesn’t hit him until it’s five pm and he’s heading home.
There’s a trio of high school students in their uniforms running past him (“fuck, fuck, fuck, we’re running late for cram school”). Their blue blazers and ties jolt a long dead section of his brain and that’s when he recalls his junior year project: dear future me. The details behind it are fuzzy, but he remembers how stupid he thought it was at the time. It was a complete waste of ten minutes, but he did it to appease his teacher. He had to use some program that allowed him to deliver it years later. Junghwan doesn’t recall who he actually sent it to, but he guesses it was his mother, for whatever reason. He was a weird teen.
What class was the project for anyway?
Junghwan’s so deep in thought, he doesn’t realize he’s reached his apartment door, leaving him to wonder when he got his keys out and where the fuck he is.
The first thing he does is start up a pot of coffee and heads to his bedroom. He happily throws off the itchy dress shirt and replaces it with his favorite ketchup-stained tee. He plops down, the old bed springs crying out from the sudden weight. He revels in the soft fabric of his bed against his face before he reaches for his laptop and turns it on.
Junghwan clicks on the email, again, and just stares at it with a childlike wonderment.
Stares and rereads until the coffee is done.
Then stares some more while he eats his dinner. He adds a wonderful array of pasta stains onto his shirt's collection.
Finally, Junghwan kind of thinks ‘oh, what the hell’ and writes a reply back to his old high school email. He’s been needing a way to vent and he supposes its been awhile since he’s last talked to himself, although, he supposes talking to yourself and actually talking to yourself are two different things entirely.
2012
Dear Sandeul,
Bad news first: you do not marry Yeeun. Okay, now that that's out of the way, let me give you the down low about the future. There are no robots, the future is the same as it was ten years ago, except with more iphone generations. Like, a lot. By the way, don't get the iphone 7, you'll end up breaking it the very same day you get it. You little clumsy shit.
So, for more pressing issues. Uhhh... I'm not sure where to start. You're an accountant for a tourism company, you live in a tiny apartment, and you're still single. Not the exciting life you were always dreaming about huh? Well, it gets worse. How much worse? A LOT. Chansik goes to study abroad our senior year (yay), he ends up going to Yale or something for college (boo), and he now runs some super successful business (ew). He'll take every chance to rub it in your face in the future. Stupid prick. Like, how does he find out what the fuck my email is to send me photos of his pent house and vacation home. LIKE HOW.
What else is there to write about? Well, life isn't bad. It's cozy and pretty lenient, but there's always too much time to think. What if I had done this differently, what if this happened, what if blah blah. Too much time to write stupid letters like this one to you. It's a whole lot of nothing, but it could be worse, couldn't it? Just like how it could be better.
From the future,
Junghwan.
Sandeul blinks. What the hell is this thing sitting in his email. He checks the timestamp for when it was sent and is thrown into a complete and utter loop when it says December of 2023. Yeah, nope. And though he knows the letter is some kind of fucked up joke, it hurts. Was that his future? No. Of course not. Sandeul was going to become a photographer, not an accountant. And first of all, he doesn't even like math.
Honestly, what company would hire him to handle numbers and money?
Sandeul's replying to the fake email when, "Teacher, Junghwan is texting on his phone." I hate you, Gong fucking Chansik.
2023
Junghwan's hair is still dripping from his shower earlier, and water is dropping onto his keyboard while he's filing some tax returns he was supposed to have been doing at work that day. He's carrying the seven over to the two and adding and crunching and wonders if his boss' dinner was really tax deductible when the bottom right corner of his computer says he has an email.
Listen, you fucktard,
I don't know if you think this is funny, but don't send me stupid stuff like that again. You may be a pessimist about your future, but don't try to drag me down, too. I'm going to do something with my life and would appreciate it if you left me alone. I bet you're Chansik fjdaksflasfjdasl;asfe3qa
Wow, what, wait, how. Junghwan almost pushes his computer off the bed, not believing the email to him was from him. His heart is beating rapidly from horror and anticipation. Did he just actually communicate with himself from the past? He takes a moment to appreciate his good grammar and punctuation when angered. Also, what was that weird keyboard smash at the end of it? Junghwan's just gonna ignore that.
The male starts to type up another reply.
2012
Baro throws an arm over Sandeul's shoulder as they head out of class, the final bell rings behind them. "Hey, Deulie, wanna go anywhere after school?"
"Can't. I got detention." Sandeul grumbles as he curses Chansik for the nth time since his fourth period class. The students in the halls quickly disperse away, rushing home or to whatever God forsaken after school extracurriculars they participate in.
"Oh man that sucks. What you get caught doing this time?" Baro unlatches his hold over Sandeul.
The older boy sighs and contorts his lips into a thin line, "Texting in class. Chansik practically yelled it out to the damn teacher." Sandeul runs his hands through his hair and screams in agony, "Just cause he skipped a grade he thinks he's so great and superior!"
"Mmmmmm..." the blond moans in sympathy, "that's tough. Chansik's like had it out for you since you guys were kids."
Sandeul agrees with Baro's words because Chansik has had a personal vendetta against him for years. Sandeul blames his and Chansik's mothers. The two old witches have been at each other's throats for as long as he can think back. His mother’s always comparing him to Chansik, wondering why he isn't as good looking, tall, or handsome. Sandeul assumes the opposite holds true for Chansik, and his mother is probably always praising him about how much better he is than Sandeul.
His lips purse into an even deeper frown, "Baro, I'll text you later."
Sandeul waves goodbye to his friend as he makes his trek to the cafeteria to serve his detention. The place is fairly empty and the supervising teacher is nowhere present either. Sandeul just sits by himself for a good hour, playing Line Pop on his phone until he runs out of hearts. He stares around the room, counting the tiles on top of the ceiling.
His mind starts to wonder around tile two hundred and thirty-seven. He thinks about the email and feels the familiar panic whenever he thinks about the future. To be honest, Sandeul doesn’t expect too much from life. He just hopes for good health and a decent job. He’s not aiming too high, it’s not like he wants to be a millionaire, though it would be nice.
Another half an hour passes and he's beginning to have a hard time keeping his eyes open until his phone vibrates within his pocket.
Oh, God, it's another email from his 'future-self'. With a roll of his eyes, he decides to see what the imposter has to say now.
I don't think you understand the awesomeness of the power we have been entrusted, Sandeul. I'm from the future, I can tell you anything that happens. You're from the past, you can change the life we have. Just think about it. You can't let this chance pass up. WE CAN'T LET THIS SLIP THROUGH OUR HANDS. Trust me. I'm you. Ask me anything and I'll prove it.
Sandeul can't help but scoff at the ridiculousness of the message. Why was this person so desperate to convince him of about the dumb prank.
2023
Okay, so if I were to believe you are indeed me, then tell me about my hobbies, secrets, and whatever else you think is relevant.
2012
Hah, you make it sound like a challenge. First of all, instead of putting all the money you made babysitting into your college fund like our parents said, you bought a fancy camera from Canon. Second, you had your first kiss in kindergarten with the first grader Jinyoung. You still wonder if Jinyoung thinks about you sometimes. Third, you didn't lose your phone freshmen year; you accidentally dropped it into the toilet.
Sandeul's eyes are the size of saucers. All the facts were indeed true, even the Jinyoung thing. That was a secret he promised to take to his grave. No one else would know about it unless...
2023
JINYOUNG. IS THAT YOU??
Junghwan has to wonder if he was really that stupid when he was seventeen.
2012
Sandeul’s watching his phone anxiously, waiting for a reply.
No, you dipshit. This is Junghwan. Get that through your thick skull.
The teen looks around the cafeteria, wondering if perhaps he was on a secret camera show set up by his mom and dad. The messages were all so ridiculous and frighteningly true.
2023
So let’s pretend that you are me. What do you want me to even do in the first place then? Are we going to like rig the lottery or something?
Junghwan releases a pent up sigh of frustration. At last he got through to his stubborn self, but he can tell he’s got quite some work to do. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
2012
Sandeul reads the email and is immediately displeased at its directions. Ask Chansik to tutor you. His body is trembling. It goes against every fiber of his being. Why on Earth would his future-self tell him to go to Chansik. It's complete madness.
Do it, you idiot. Junghwan writes when he hasn’t replied in nearly five minutes.
The brunette pouts and crosses his arms. He doesn’t want to. He won’t. He can’t.
2023
Chansik laughed at me after he overcame his shock and then agreed to tutor me for ten dollars an hour. Goodbye new camera.
2012
Chansik is explaining a calculus problem to Sandeul. His hand is on his shoulder and his face too close for comfort. The brunette’s eyes are hyper focused on the text in front of him, trying to ignore how odd the whole situation is. He’s sitting in his room, on a Saturday, being taught math by Gong Chansik.
“Junghwan!” Chansik’s voice yells right into his ear, “Are you even listening to me?”
Sandeul’s eyes shift around nervously, “Yes?” He squeaks out, his ears still ringing painfully.
The other boy is unconvinced and groans as he returns to his seat and lets his head fall down onto Sandeul’s desk. He hears the loud sound of skull smacking against table. “No wonder why your grades suck, you can’t even stay on task for more than fifteen minutes.”
Sandeul flinches at the harsh words because they’re true. He does have the worst attention span ever. Not one to take an insult lying down however, "Shut up, Chansik. We all can't be bookworms like you. At least I'm trying."
"Are you really? Are you really though, Junghwan? I've been here for two hours and you have yet to finish one problem correctly." His voice was muffled by the wooden surface of the desk.
The elder huffs, blowing his bangs out of his eyes. Sandeul's seriously wondering why he agreed to listen to his future-self. The whole thing was absurd. Chansik and he have been meeting up for the past week and all its done is burn a hole through his pocket. He isn't any better at English or history than before.
"Maybe you're just a horrible teacher."
"Maybe you should learn how to shut up for five seconds so I can actually teach you the concepts." Chansik's voice is a little higher than before as his irritation begins to seep more evidently through.
Sandeul bites his tongue, "Then by all means. Teach me, Chansik."
2023
So far Junghwan hasn't noticed anything different about his life. He still goes to work at nine and returns home at five. Sometimes he goes out after work with Shinwoo for dinner and other nights with Inro. He still pays his bills and his paychecks still look the same.
Junghwan's also been keeping tabs on Sandeul's grades and progress, but he has a feeling his teen-self is lying about them. And in the past month, Sandeul's messages have been more about what an annoying and cocky boy Chansik is and less about how much he hates studying on the weekends. He's not sure if it's an improvement over the other, but Junghwan's not actually experiencing the pain first hand, so he doesn't care.
However, with each passing day, he is beginning to be able to recall memories he didn't have before. Like time spent with Chansik and lots of sleepless nights before huge tests. They're like dreams and Junghwan has to really think about them lest he confuse the two.
2012
"Congratulations, Junghwan." Chansik smiles at the boy as he looks at the hundred percent gracing the other's last calculus test. "Looks like all that tutoring is finally paying off."
The two are sitting in the school's library. Sandeul's head is lying on the desk, too tired to support himself up. The bags under his eyes are heavy and contribute to dragging him down. "I never knew accomplishment felt so much like dying."
Chansik smiles (that special one where all his teeth show and his eyes become a bit mismatched). He ruffles up Sandeul's hair and sighs happily, "You'll get used to it. You wanna go to Starbucks and get some coffee as a reward?"
Sandeul languidly nods his head. "Carry me." He lifts his jelly like arms up to the younger male, a pout fresh on his lips.
"Just because you got an A on your test doesn't mean I'll go to the extent of carrying you, too. Don't push it, Junghwan. Just be thankful I'm willing to be seen out in public with you."
"You're no fun." Sandeul moans. His muscles are all stringy and tight. He's long since learned to ignore Chansik's hurtful words as they're usually hollow.
Chansik gives a heavy sigh. "If you get an A on another test, then maybe next time I'll give you a piggyback ride, if it pleases you."
Sandeul laughs, "It would please me immensely."
The two earn a shush from the librarian.
2023
My grades have gone up and my health has gone down. You’re welcome. Also, I think Chansik and I are friends now. I think.
2012
“Junghwan, all we ever do is study, don’t you ever want to do anything else?” Chansik asks one day when Junghwan’s packing up his things to go home.
Junghwan blinks, “Sure I do other things, but you’re my tutor, Chansik. I’m sure as hell not gonna pay you ten dollars to just hang out with me.”
“I’d hang out with you for free though.” The other mumbles under his breath, but not low enough for Junghwan to miss. “C’mon, let’s go watch a movie.” The younger says while taking him by the wrist.
“But I have a test tomorrow. Hey, did you hear me, Gong Chan-”
Chansik turns around with his lips turned up in that wonderful smile, “Hmm... you should call me Gongchan from now on, too. I like how it sounds, Deul. Now let’s go.”
“Did we switch personalities or something?” Sandeul asks as he’s dragged towards Chansik’s living room.
2024
Junghwan's alarm clock is blaring through his ears loudly. His hands blindly grope around for the snooze button, but finds his clock is not in its normal position. He opens his eyes and finds that he’s not in his normal location either.
The springy and lumpy bed which Junghwan was so accustomed to sleeping in was different. The blue sheets which were always carelessly thrown over his body were replaced by velvety red ones. Most of all though, his pillow was another man's chest.
His mind is running at a thousand miles per second and he has no clue what is going on. He looks at the man below him and realizes that it's just Chansik. He immediately calms down. It's just Chansik, thank God. He almost thought he had done something stupid.
Wait. It's Chansik. In his bed (or was Junghwan in Chansik's bed). He sure as hell hasn't done anything stupid, but Sandeul sure has.
2012
WHAT IN GOD'S GREEN EARTH HAVE YOU DONE, SANDEUL.
The recipient of the text tilts his head in confusion.
"Something wrong, Sandeul?" Chansik asks, looking over his shoulder after seeing his friend knitting his brows in confusion.
Sandeul waves him off, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just got some random text, Gongchan. It's cool." Chansik nods his head and goes back to finishing his lunch before the bell rings.
2023
Care to explain what you mean?
The male is almost livid at the reply in front of him. Junghwan hurriedly sends a reply back, abusing the poor keys on his phone. Junghwan eyes Chansik wearily, staying tentative about the sleeping body next to him. He squeals (manly-like) every few seconds when the slumbering male moved and almost screams (in a manly way) when their bodies come in contact with each other.
Luckily Chansik is a heavy sleeper and the alarm was finally off.
2012
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.
2023
Why are you screaming at me in caps lock? No, I don't know what I did.
2012
WHY IS GONG CHANSIK IN MY BED?
Sandeul was drinking his milk when the text arrived, resulting in him choking and wheezing all over the place. Chansik was patting his back with wide eyes. "Holy fuck, are you okay?"
The male coughs in reply and reassures him that he is not dying, but he doubts the validity of his own words.
2023
I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU MEAN.
Chansik moans and continues to stir. Junghwan can't help but think it's cute. Oh, God. There's a quick surge of memories and Junghwan feels his heart bursting with warmth. He gags at the sentimental feelings overwhelming him.
2012
Sandeul is staring at his phone, waiting for a reply from the future, but gets nothing. What was that message about Chansik being in his bed or something?
"Deul, the bell rang. Let's go to class." Sandeul nods and stuffs his phone in the pocket, wondering what he did to disrupt the future.
2023
"Sandeul, get out of the bathroom." Chansik's pleads from behind the door.
"No! Go away, Gongchan! I'm thinking." Junghwan yells back. He's sitting against the bathroom's door, on top of a red mat. The place smells like soap and cologne and something so unmistakably Chansik.
"Well, can't you think somewhere else?"
Junghwan doesn't reply.
There's a sigh, "Did I do something wrong, Deulie?"
"No. You didn't and that's why I'm angry." Junghwan buries his face into his knees and closes his eyes, trying to remember more of what happened in the past.
Junghwan swallows the lump in his throat. He remembers dates, anniversaries, graduation, college, first kisses, first dates, first arguments, and first everythings. His head is spinning.
2012
Sandeul is studying in Chansik's room while the other is napping on the bed. He's still attempting to decipher the emails sent by his future-self and what they could possibly mean. He's so deep in thought he doesn't hear the rustling from the bed behind him.
"Duel, you haven't even started your homework." Chansik observes, his head resting on Sandeul's shoulder and his hands finding its way to his waist. The older male is too out of it to even notice the skinship.
"Hm?" Sandeul hums, breaking from his reverie, "Oh, yeah, sorry. I just have something on my mind."
"Oh," Chansik says lamely, "well, whatever it is, you know you can tell me about it." His voice is genuine and Sandeul feels guilty about keeping Chansik in the dark about everything.
"It's nothing, really... I'm just thinking about-- Baro." Sandeul lies, hoping that it would put Chansik's mind at ease.
"What about him?" He inquires, curious.
Sandeul is thinking hard about how to answer and ends up just saying whatever, "It's just that I've been spending so much time with you that I haven't been able to talk to him in a while." Which was the truth.
“But don’t you like spending time with me?” Gongchan asks a toothy grin on his face.
The brunette thinks about it and says, “The sad thing is I do.”
Chansik laughs through his nose, “And the same goes for me.” His grip on his waist noticeably tightens and he presses his head closer into him. Sandeul shivers from the feeling of Chansik's breath ghosting over the nape of his neck.
Wow. There’s so many things wrong with the image, but he doesn’t care.
2023
“Lee Junghwan, I’m giving you until the count of five to come out of the bathroom.” Chansik warns, his voice causing the door to shake.
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
Two and a half...
One...
Junghwan reluctantly opens the door, recalling that the last time he didn’t, Chansik nearly broke down the door.
“Deul, what’s wrong?”
Junghwan just shakes his head, not sure how he’s supposed to explain the mental anguish time and physics has inflicted upon him when he doesn’t understand how it works himself.
Chansik offers a small smile at how meek Junghwan looks at the moment and takes him into his arms. The younger man has grown even taller over the years, to the point where his head is able to lie on top of Junghwan’s brown tresses comfortably. His embrace is warm and familiar, there’s absolutely nothing strange about the position they’re in.
Junghwan’s tense shoulders relax and this is the most at ease he’s felt in the longest time.
And when Chansik’s lips brush against his, it’s the most satisfying feeling ever. Junghwan assumes this is the part where he should pull away and run like hell, but all he can think about is all the years he’s spent with the guy in front of him. Nights spent studying together, among other things. It’s a wave of nostalgia hitting his body and the confusion fades away.
His lips taste like peppermint and to this day, he still makes Junghwan flush a deep crimson.
2012
Whatever it is you’re doing: keep doing it.
2023
Sandeul has a nine to five job at some tourism company where all he does is go out and take photos of exotic places to fill up the company’s website. Sometimes he gets to travel to beautiful places and sometimes he just has to walk around the city.
He lives in a tiny apartment with Chansik who manages a small business firm. The two don’t make that much money, but it’s enough to for them and then some.
The future’s not glamorous or perfect, but Sandeul likes to think it is because he has Chansik. Sometimes he feels guilty thinking back on the rich life Chansik would have lived if didn’t get involved in the other’s life, but Chansik tells him every day how happy he is and how miserable studying abroad would have made him; the feelings mutual.
2012
Good Job
Is the last text Chansik ever receives from the future.
For: hotarumyst
Pairing/Focus: Sandeul/Gongchan
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5800+
Summary: Junghwan writes letters to someone he used to know
Notes/Warnings: Inspired by a book about sending messages through time, I can't remember the title however, sorry.
2023
Autumn leaves don't belong in winter.
Junghwan observes this first hand as he walks down the bustling streets of the city. The trees that line the sidewalks are all barren cept for a couple of orange, red, and yellow stragglers of fall. They're just barely hanging on by a thread as they're pulled and tugged in every which way by the unrelenting wind. They’re as flimsy as paper and Junghwan can’t help but feel the same way as he braces himself against another harsh gust, as well. His cheeks are frozen in place and his fingers numb, and he’s only been outside for a total of five minutes. Junghwan thinks, perhaps, whatever warm colors his cheeks once possessed were sapped away and stored into the sparse foliage-- somehow sucking away his vitality.
Okay, maybe Junghwan’s exaggerating now. It’s the cold and frigid air that’s affecting him, he swears.
Despite whatever fear that he harbors over the trees though, he still admires the leaves, if only for brief moments in between his walk to work. His eyes glaze over their mismatched colors which strikingly contrast against the grey morning. He’ll stare, and stare until his eyes lose focus. He also can’t help himself from stopping every three minutes to snap a quick picture of the scenery around him, too.
He throws all caution to the wind and just admires the scenery. Besides, he doubts it matters if he's late for work or not; it's kind of hard to be noticed in his huge company. Often times, he even finds it frustrating to keep track of all the people coming and going. Working in a sea of cubicles does that to a person, after all.
With one last fleeting glance, along with an avid staring contest with a squirrel, he tightens his scarf and picks up his pace. He’ll never get to work if he keeps getting distracted by the scenery, it’s not like it’s new or anything, either. He’s seen the same trees over a dozen times and he swears that that’s the same squirrel that glares at him everyday. Junghwan sighs and sets his eyes onto the pavement. It’s boring and it’s lifeless. The sidewalk is the same color as the sky, and if it weren't for the cracks embedded in it, he might have thought they were one in the same.
He stuffs his hands into the deep pockets of his coat and hurries along, seeing the company’s glassy building down the street. And by the time Junghwan enters through its doors, it's nine o'clock (it’s also apparently four pm in california from what the multitude of international clocks tell him).
The company is really nothing special, blending right in with the busy downtown district. It's a goliath of a place with several floors and modern elevators constantly jumping from each department. There are receptionists in the lobby busily taking phone calls in pencil skirts, typing away on perfectly manicured nails, and security is just a desk to the left of them.
Security is mostly comprised of big, burly guys in uniforms, intimidating any would-be thieves and scam artists; Junghwan’s not sure who would want to threaten a tourism company, but he supposes their prices were ‘not of this world,’ if he were to believe the folks in advertisement.
Before heading to the elevators, Junghwan is sure to highfive the security guard Inro. It's a daily ritual kind of thing. Sure, Junghwan's right hand starts to turn as red as the lipstick of some of the office girls, but so does Inro's, so no skin off his bones.
Junghwan pushes the elevator’s call button and stares at the digital numbers informing him of their locations. He bites his lip trying to figure out which door is going to open; maybe it’ll be the left one, or the right, maybe even the middle. His eyes jump from door to door, waiting for one to slide open. It’s pretty tedious, he has to admit, considering the fact he could probably just walk up the dreaded three flights of stairs. And though he knows this, he still doesn’t brave the four minute journey. It was most likely all the walking that it required of him that eliminated the stairs from use, but it was probably more likely due the interns that hang out there during their breaks.
Junghwan’s learned the hard way that college kids that run around all day getting coffee get pretty irritated when intruded upon. He blames all the caffeine they inject into their blood.
Whatever the mysterious reasoning is however, Junghwan can’t say the elevators are any better of a substitute.
It's an anxiety thing. Elevators are machines... and machines break.
However, he'd rather take his chances dying with a few other people rather than by himself at the hands of someone more severely underpaid than him.
He could see it now:
Name: Lee Junghwan
Occupation: Accountant
Age: 27
Birth: March 20, 1995
Death: December 8, 2023
Cause: Savagely beaten by a couple of rowdy interns.
Junghwan chooses to ignore the absurdity of a man in his late twenties being intimidated by a bunch of teens -- some who still can't even drink legally -- while he enters the elevator (it was the rightmost elevator that had come down first).
He tries his best to avoid the safety regulations sheet and the whirling sounds of the elevator. He’s relieved when the metal doors gloriously slide open again, opening into the financial department. He is met with the usual army of cubicles awaiting him.
After working in the place for nearly four years already, Junghwan’s got the floor plan memorized: he takes ten steps to the right, fifteen forward, three to the left, highfives Shinwoo, proceeds to the cubicle next to him, and he’s there.
He slumps into his lumpy office chair, hanging his thin coat onto the chair’s back. He turns his computer on with a yawn caught in his throat. Whatever energy he had earlier was zapped away by the impersonal edifice, just like the leaves with his warmth. All Junghwan can think about is sleep and things associated with it.
He's near the point of having his face smash against the keyboard before he remembers the company's only real highlight: donuts. A dreamy smile breaks out on his lips as he heads to the break room, abandoning his barely running computer.
Junghwan stifles another yawn as his eyes wander from the jelly filled donuts to the more classical styles. In the end, Junghwan takes one of each flavor. Marketing had about thirty people working and five boxes of donuts, it wasn’t really hard for any of them to do the math. After the very tiring task of juggling all his snacks, he eventually returns to his desk with some coffee that's more milk and sugar than caffeine, in one hand, and a stack of donuts in the other.
Time to get to work, Junghwan thinks as he stares blankly at his computer screen for a while. He’s trying to figure out what he’s supposed to be doing for the day. There are files on his desk, but he’s not sure if they’re important or by when they need to be done. He leans back in his chair to make himself more comfortable as he continues to debate on doing them or not. Junghwan ends up concluding that since no one’s come by to tell him to work directly, he kinds of doubts their urgency. So, like a majority of the other employees, the brunette plays Solitaire for an hour.
He clicking and dragging his mouse and eating and drinking his food. Occasionally he'll peek over his cubicle into Shinwoo's and compare their games.
Junghwan probably spends half his work day doing just this. His routine like trance doesn’t really break until he realizes he’s out of fried dough and coffee. So he does what any other sane person would do: he fills the emptiness with social networking sites. He scrolls through them, some old and some new. Apparently one of his friends was getting married soon and another was having their second child. God, Junghwan shivers, these were people he knew since grade school and the idea of them being parents was downright frightening (especially the thought of sunwoo, the guy who broke his nose after running into a glass door).
Junghwan decides he's had enough of the creeps the sites were giving him and checks his emails, instead. Junghwan's eyes catches an email from his mother and his body fills with dread, as she only ever sends him cheesy jokes and, of course, chain mails.
(she labels the latter with ‘URGENT’, especially those which threaten the lives of the recipient’s mother. grandma’s dead, too, which begs the question as to why she even feels compelled to pass it on in the first place.)
Well, Junghwan’s not sure whether or not to click on the email with the subject ‘this is you’. He does in the end, though, because his mother sent it to him.
Dear future me,
Hey, Junghwan, it’s me: Junghwan-- actually, do they call me Junghwan in the future, or am I still Sandeul? Anyway, it feels weird having to write you a letter because, well, you’re me. I guess you and I will just have to bear with this stupid project.
Ummmmm... how’s the future? Am I married to Yeeun of Wonder Girls yet? Please tell me yes. Do we live in some big, fancy house with two kids and a dog? Am I rich and successful? Please tell me I’m that brat Chanshik’s boss! That is all I want in life, please. Okay, that’s a lie. I want a lot of stuff. But bottom line, am I a huge, awesome success?
Hmmm.. well, if you’re reading this letter in the future then that means you at least have wifi. Wifi is good. Moving on, I sure hope you’re cool future me, oh, and handsome. Hah, who am I kidding, of course I’m handsome. I bet we got all the ladies in college. I hear being a Pokemon and Yugioh fan is more acceptable at universities, not sure why, but that’s all I know. Oh, and in the future, are there robots? Is mine and Yeeune’s son actually a robot? Man, the future must be awesome.
Love me,
Sandeul
It takes a while for Junghwan to comprehend the block of text in front of him. Why was there a letter from him in his emails? And why is there this gaping hole in his memory about it? He tries to brush off the email as no big deal, just something he wrote as a joke a few years ago probably. He did stupid things like that a lot in the past, so it is plausible. He shrugs it off and plays online poker until he loses all his imaginary chips. However, in the back of his mind, he’s still thinking about it.
It doesn’t hit him until it’s five pm and he’s heading home.
There’s a trio of high school students in their uniforms running past him (“fuck, fuck, fuck, we’re running late for cram school”). Their blue blazers and ties jolt a long dead section of his brain and that’s when he recalls his junior year project: dear future me. The details behind it are fuzzy, but he remembers how stupid he thought it was at the time. It was a complete waste of ten minutes, but he did it to appease his teacher. He had to use some program that allowed him to deliver it years later. Junghwan doesn’t recall who he actually sent it to, but he guesses it was his mother, for whatever reason. He was a weird teen.
What class was the project for anyway?
Junghwan’s so deep in thought, he doesn’t realize he’s reached his apartment door, leaving him to wonder when he got his keys out and where the fuck he is.
The first thing he does is start up a pot of coffee and heads to his bedroom. He happily throws off the itchy dress shirt and replaces it with his favorite ketchup-stained tee. He plops down, the old bed springs crying out from the sudden weight. He revels in the soft fabric of his bed against his face before he reaches for his laptop and turns it on.
Junghwan clicks on the email, again, and just stares at it with a childlike wonderment.
Stares and rereads until the coffee is done.
Then stares some more while he eats his dinner. He adds a wonderful array of pasta stains onto his shirt's collection.
Finally, Junghwan kind of thinks ‘oh, what the hell’ and writes a reply back to his old high school email. He’s been needing a way to vent and he supposes its been awhile since he’s last talked to himself, although, he supposes talking to yourself and actually talking to yourself are two different things entirely.
2012
Dear Sandeul,
Bad news first: you do not marry Yeeun. Okay, now that that's out of the way, let me give you the down low about the future. There are no robots, the future is the same as it was ten years ago, except with more iphone generations. Like, a lot. By the way, don't get the iphone 7, you'll end up breaking it the very same day you get it. You little clumsy shit.
So, for more pressing issues. Uhhh... I'm not sure where to start. You're an accountant for a tourism company, you live in a tiny apartment, and you're still single. Not the exciting life you were always dreaming about huh? Well, it gets worse. How much worse? A LOT. Chansik goes to study abroad our senior year (yay), he ends up going to Yale or something for college (boo), and he now runs some super successful business (ew). He'll take every chance to rub it in your face in the future. Stupid prick. Like, how does he find out what the fuck my email is to send me photos of his pent house and vacation home. LIKE HOW.
What else is there to write about? Well, life isn't bad. It's cozy and pretty lenient, but there's always too much time to think. What if I had done this differently, what if this happened, what if blah blah. Too much time to write stupid letters like this one to you. It's a whole lot of nothing, but it could be worse, couldn't it? Just like how it could be better.
From the future,
Junghwan.
Sandeul blinks. What the hell is this thing sitting in his email. He checks the timestamp for when it was sent and is thrown into a complete and utter loop when it says December of 2023. Yeah, nope. And though he knows the letter is some kind of fucked up joke, it hurts. Was that his future? No. Of course not. Sandeul was going to become a photographer, not an accountant. And first of all, he doesn't even like math.
Honestly, what company would hire him to handle numbers and money?
Sandeul's replying to the fake email when, "Teacher, Junghwan is texting on his phone." I hate you, Gong fucking Chansik.
2023
Junghwan's hair is still dripping from his shower earlier, and water is dropping onto his keyboard while he's filing some tax returns he was supposed to have been doing at work that day. He's carrying the seven over to the two and adding and crunching and wonders if his boss' dinner was really tax deductible when the bottom right corner of his computer says he has an email.
Listen, you fucktard,
I don't know if you think this is funny, but don't send me stupid stuff like that again. You may be a pessimist about your future, but don't try to drag me down, too. I'm going to do something with my life and would appreciate it if you left me alone. I bet you're Chansik fjdaksflasfjdasl;asfe3qa
Wow, what, wait, how. Junghwan almost pushes his computer off the bed, not believing the email to him was from him. His heart is beating rapidly from horror and anticipation. Did he just actually communicate with himself from the past? He takes a moment to appreciate his good grammar and punctuation when angered. Also, what was that weird keyboard smash at the end of it? Junghwan's just gonna ignore that.
The male starts to type up another reply.
2012
Baro throws an arm over Sandeul's shoulder as they head out of class, the final bell rings behind them. "Hey, Deulie, wanna go anywhere after school?"
"Can't. I got detention." Sandeul grumbles as he curses Chansik for the nth time since his fourth period class. The students in the halls quickly disperse away, rushing home or to whatever God forsaken after school extracurriculars they participate in.
"Oh man that sucks. What you get caught doing this time?" Baro unlatches his hold over Sandeul.
The older boy sighs and contorts his lips into a thin line, "Texting in class. Chansik practically yelled it out to the damn teacher." Sandeul runs his hands through his hair and screams in agony, "Just cause he skipped a grade he thinks he's so great and superior!"
"Mmmmmm..." the blond moans in sympathy, "that's tough. Chansik's like had it out for you since you guys were kids."
Sandeul agrees with Baro's words because Chansik has had a personal vendetta against him for years. Sandeul blames his and Chansik's mothers. The two old witches have been at each other's throats for as long as he can think back. His mother’s always comparing him to Chansik, wondering why he isn't as good looking, tall, or handsome. Sandeul assumes the opposite holds true for Chansik, and his mother is probably always praising him about how much better he is than Sandeul.
His lips purse into an even deeper frown, "Baro, I'll text you later."
Sandeul waves goodbye to his friend as he makes his trek to the cafeteria to serve his detention. The place is fairly empty and the supervising teacher is nowhere present either. Sandeul just sits by himself for a good hour, playing Line Pop on his phone until he runs out of hearts. He stares around the room, counting the tiles on top of the ceiling.
His mind starts to wonder around tile two hundred and thirty-seven. He thinks about the email and feels the familiar panic whenever he thinks about the future. To be honest, Sandeul doesn’t expect too much from life. He just hopes for good health and a decent job. He’s not aiming too high, it’s not like he wants to be a millionaire, though it would be nice.
Another half an hour passes and he's beginning to have a hard time keeping his eyes open until his phone vibrates within his pocket.
Oh, God, it's another email from his 'future-self'. With a roll of his eyes, he decides to see what the imposter has to say now.
I don't think you understand the awesomeness of the power we have been entrusted, Sandeul. I'm from the future, I can tell you anything that happens. You're from the past, you can change the life we have. Just think about it. You can't let this chance pass up. WE CAN'T LET THIS SLIP THROUGH OUR HANDS. Trust me. I'm you. Ask me anything and I'll prove it.
Sandeul can't help but scoff at the ridiculousness of the message. Why was this person so desperate to convince him of about the dumb prank.
2023
Okay, so if I were to believe you are indeed me, then tell me about my hobbies, secrets, and whatever else you think is relevant.
2012
Hah, you make it sound like a challenge. First of all, instead of putting all the money you made babysitting into your college fund like our parents said, you bought a fancy camera from Canon. Second, you had your first kiss in kindergarten with the first grader Jinyoung. You still wonder if Jinyoung thinks about you sometimes. Third, you didn't lose your phone freshmen year; you accidentally dropped it into the toilet.
Sandeul's eyes are the size of saucers. All the facts were indeed true, even the Jinyoung thing. That was a secret he promised to take to his grave. No one else would know about it unless...
2023
JINYOUNG. IS THAT YOU??
Junghwan has to wonder if he was really that stupid when he was seventeen.
2012
Sandeul’s watching his phone anxiously, waiting for a reply.
No, you dipshit. This is Junghwan. Get that through your thick skull.
The teen looks around the cafeteria, wondering if perhaps he was on a secret camera show set up by his mom and dad. The messages were all so ridiculous and frighteningly true.
2023
So let’s pretend that you are me. What do you want me to even do in the first place then? Are we going to like rig the lottery or something?
Junghwan releases a pent up sigh of frustration. At last he got through to his stubborn self, but he can tell he’s got quite some work to do. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
2012
Sandeul reads the email and is immediately displeased at its directions. Ask Chansik to tutor you. His body is trembling. It goes against every fiber of his being. Why on Earth would his future-self tell him to go to Chansik. It's complete madness.
Do it, you idiot. Junghwan writes when he hasn’t replied in nearly five minutes.
The brunette pouts and crosses his arms. He doesn’t want to. He won’t. He can’t.
2023
Chansik laughed at me after he overcame his shock and then agreed to tutor me for ten dollars an hour. Goodbye new camera.
2012
Chansik is explaining a calculus problem to Sandeul. His hand is on his shoulder and his face too close for comfort. The brunette’s eyes are hyper focused on the text in front of him, trying to ignore how odd the whole situation is. He’s sitting in his room, on a Saturday, being taught math by Gong Chansik.
“Junghwan!” Chansik’s voice yells right into his ear, “Are you even listening to me?”
Sandeul’s eyes shift around nervously, “Yes?” He squeaks out, his ears still ringing painfully.
The other boy is unconvinced and groans as he returns to his seat and lets his head fall down onto Sandeul’s desk. He hears the loud sound of skull smacking against table. “No wonder why your grades suck, you can’t even stay on task for more than fifteen minutes.”
Sandeul flinches at the harsh words because they’re true. He does have the worst attention span ever. Not one to take an insult lying down however, "Shut up, Chansik. We all can't be bookworms like you. At least I'm trying."
"Are you really? Are you really though, Junghwan? I've been here for two hours and you have yet to finish one problem correctly." His voice was muffled by the wooden surface of the desk.
The elder huffs, blowing his bangs out of his eyes. Sandeul's seriously wondering why he agreed to listen to his future-self. The whole thing was absurd. Chansik and he have been meeting up for the past week and all its done is burn a hole through his pocket. He isn't any better at English or history than before.
"Maybe you're just a horrible teacher."
"Maybe you should learn how to shut up for five seconds so I can actually teach you the concepts." Chansik's voice is a little higher than before as his irritation begins to seep more evidently through.
Sandeul bites his tongue, "Then by all means. Teach me, Chansik."
2023
So far Junghwan hasn't noticed anything different about his life. He still goes to work at nine and returns home at five. Sometimes he goes out after work with Shinwoo for dinner and other nights with Inro. He still pays his bills and his paychecks still look the same.
Junghwan's also been keeping tabs on Sandeul's grades and progress, but he has a feeling his teen-self is lying about them. And in the past month, Sandeul's messages have been more about what an annoying and cocky boy Chansik is and less about how much he hates studying on the weekends. He's not sure if it's an improvement over the other, but Junghwan's not actually experiencing the pain first hand, so he doesn't care.
However, with each passing day, he is beginning to be able to recall memories he didn't have before. Like time spent with Chansik and lots of sleepless nights before huge tests. They're like dreams and Junghwan has to really think about them lest he confuse the two.
2012
"Congratulations, Junghwan." Chansik smiles at the boy as he looks at the hundred percent gracing the other's last calculus test. "Looks like all that tutoring is finally paying off."
The two are sitting in the school's library. Sandeul's head is lying on the desk, too tired to support himself up. The bags under his eyes are heavy and contribute to dragging him down. "I never knew accomplishment felt so much like dying."
Chansik smiles (that special one where all his teeth show and his eyes become a bit mismatched). He ruffles up Sandeul's hair and sighs happily, "You'll get used to it. You wanna go to Starbucks and get some coffee as a reward?"
Sandeul languidly nods his head. "Carry me." He lifts his jelly like arms up to the younger male, a pout fresh on his lips.
"Just because you got an A on your test doesn't mean I'll go to the extent of carrying you, too. Don't push it, Junghwan. Just be thankful I'm willing to be seen out in public with you."
"You're no fun." Sandeul moans. His muscles are all stringy and tight. He's long since learned to ignore Chansik's hurtful words as they're usually hollow.
Chansik gives a heavy sigh. "If you get an A on another test, then maybe next time I'll give you a piggyback ride, if it pleases you."
Sandeul laughs, "It would please me immensely."
The two earn a shush from the librarian.
2023
My grades have gone up and my health has gone down. You’re welcome. Also, I think Chansik and I are friends now. I think.
2012
“Junghwan, all we ever do is study, don’t you ever want to do anything else?” Chansik asks one day when Junghwan’s packing up his things to go home.
Junghwan blinks, “Sure I do other things, but you’re my tutor, Chansik. I’m sure as hell not gonna pay you ten dollars to just hang out with me.”
“I’d hang out with you for free though.” The other mumbles under his breath, but not low enough for Junghwan to miss. “C’mon, let’s go watch a movie.” The younger says while taking him by the wrist.
“But I have a test tomorrow. Hey, did you hear me, Gong Chan-”
Chansik turns around with his lips turned up in that wonderful smile, “Hmm... you should call me Gongchan from now on, too. I like how it sounds, Deul. Now let’s go.”
“Did we switch personalities or something?” Sandeul asks as he’s dragged towards Chansik’s living room.
2024
Junghwan's alarm clock is blaring through his ears loudly. His hands blindly grope around for the snooze button, but finds his clock is not in its normal position. He opens his eyes and finds that he’s not in his normal location either.
The springy and lumpy bed which Junghwan was so accustomed to sleeping in was different. The blue sheets which were always carelessly thrown over his body were replaced by velvety red ones. Most of all though, his pillow was another man's chest.
His mind is running at a thousand miles per second and he has no clue what is going on. He looks at the man below him and realizes that it's just Chansik. He immediately calms down. It's just Chansik, thank God. He almost thought he had done something stupid.
Wait. It's Chansik. In his bed (or was Junghwan in Chansik's bed). He sure as hell hasn't done anything stupid, but Sandeul sure has.
2012
WHAT IN GOD'S GREEN EARTH HAVE YOU DONE, SANDEUL.
The recipient of the text tilts his head in confusion.
"Something wrong, Sandeul?" Chansik asks, looking over his shoulder after seeing his friend knitting his brows in confusion.
Sandeul waves him off, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just got some random text, Gongchan. It's cool." Chansik nods his head and goes back to finishing his lunch before the bell rings.
2023
Care to explain what you mean?
The male is almost livid at the reply in front of him. Junghwan hurriedly sends a reply back, abusing the poor keys on his phone. Junghwan eyes Chansik wearily, staying tentative about the sleeping body next to him. He squeals (manly-like) every few seconds when the slumbering male moved and almost screams (in a manly way) when their bodies come in contact with each other.
Luckily Chansik is a heavy sleeper and the alarm was finally off.
2012
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.
2023
Why are you screaming at me in caps lock? No, I don't know what I did.
2012
WHY IS GONG CHANSIK IN MY BED?
Sandeul was drinking his milk when the text arrived, resulting in him choking and wheezing all over the place. Chansik was patting his back with wide eyes. "Holy fuck, are you okay?"
The male coughs in reply and reassures him that he is not dying, but he doubts the validity of his own words.
2023
I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU MEAN.
Chansik moans and continues to stir. Junghwan can't help but think it's cute. Oh, God. There's a quick surge of memories and Junghwan feels his heart bursting with warmth. He gags at the sentimental feelings overwhelming him.
2012
Sandeul is staring at his phone, waiting for a reply from the future, but gets nothing. What was that message about Chansik being in his bed or something?
"Deul, the bell rang. Let's go to class." Sandeul nods and stuffs his phone in the pocket, wondering what he did to disrupt the future.
2023
"Sandeul, get out of the bathroom." Chansik's pleads from behind the door.
"No! Go away, Gongchan! I'm thinking." Junghwan yells back. He's sitting against the bathroom's door, on top of a red mat. The place smells like soap and cologne and something so unmistakably Chansik.
"Well, can't you think somewhere else?"
Junghwan doesn't reply.
There's a sigh, "Did I do something wrong, Deulie?"
"No. You didn't and that's why I'm angry." Junghwan buries his face into his knees and closes his eyes, trying to remember more of what happened in the past.
Junghwan swallows the lump in his throat. He remembers dates, anniversaries, graduation, college, first kisses, first dates, first arguments, and first everythings. His head is spinning.
2012
Sandeul is studying in Chansik's room while the other is napping on the bed. He's still attempting to decipher the emails sent by his future-self and what they could possibly mean. He's so deep in thought he doesn't hear the rustling from the bed behind him.
"Duel, you haven't even started your homework." Chansik observes, his head resting on Sandeul's shoulder and his hands finding its way to his waist. The older male is too out of it to even notice the skinship.
"Hm?" Sandeul hums, breaking from his reverie, "Oh, yeah, sorry. I just have something on my mind."
"Oh," Chansik says lamely, "well, whatever it is, you know you can tell me about it." His voice is genuine and Sandeul feels guilty about keeping Chansik in the dark about everything.
"It's nothing, really... I'm just thinking about-- Baro." Sandeul lies, hoping that it would put Chansik's mind at ease.
"What about him?" He inquires, curious.
Sandeul is thinking hard about how to answer and ends up just saying whatever, "It's just that I've been spending so much time with you that I haven't been able to talk to him in a while." Which was the truth.
“But don’t you like spending time with me?” Gongchan asks a toothy grin on his face.
The brunette thinks about it and says, “The sad thing is I do.”
Chansik laughs through his nose, “And the same goes for me.” His grip on his waist noticeably tightens and he presses his head closer into him. Sandeul shivers from the feeling of Chansik's breath ghosting over the nape of his neck.
Wow. There’s so many things wrong with the image, but he doesn’t care.
2023
“Lee Junghwan, I’m giving you until the count of five to come out of the bathroom.” Chansik warns, his voice causing the door to shake.
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
Two and a half...
One...
Junghwan reluctantly opens the door, recalling that the last time he didn’t, Chansik nearly broke down the door.
“Deul, what’s wrong?”
Junghwan just shakes his head, not sure how he’s supposed to explain the mental anguish time and physics has inflicted upon him when he doesn’t understand how it works himself.
Chansik offers a small smile at how meek Junghwan looks at the moment and takes him into his arms. The younger man has grown even taller over the years, to the point where his head is able to lie on top of Junghwan’s brown tresses comfortably. His embrace is warm and familiar, there’s absolutely nothing strange about the position they’re in.
Junghwan’s tense shoulders relax and this is the most at ease he’s felt in the longest time.
And when Chansik’s lips brush against his, it’s the most satisfying feeling ever. Junghwan assumes this is the part where he should pull away and run like hell, but all he can think about is all the years he’s spent with the guy in front of him. Nights spent studying together, among other things. It’s a wave of nostalgia hitting his body and the confusion fades away.
His lips taste like peppermint and to this day, he still makes Junghwan flush a deep crimson.
2012
Whatever it is you’re doing: keep doing it.
2023
Sandeul has a nine to five job at some tourism company where all he does is go out and take photos of exotic places to fill up the company’s website. Sometimes he gets to travel to beautiful places and sometimes he just has to walk around the city.
He lives in a tiny apartment with Chansik who manages a small business firm. The two don’t make that much money, but it’s enough to for them and then some.
The future’s not glamorous or perfect, but Sandeul likes to think it is because he has Chansik. Sometimes he feels guilty thinking back on the rich life Chansik would have lived if didn’t get involved in the other’s life, but Chansik tells him every day how happy he is and how miserable studying abroad would have made him; the feelings mutual.
2012
Good Job
Is the last text Chansik ever receives from the future.