I heard about your trip...I heard about your sovenirs...
Spring Break has ended and we have returned to the Tusc.
What a week. Just...wow. Spring Break was so completely packed with just about everything that you can imagine. Cliche--but a rollercoaster ride. A confusing battle throughout the entire trip between two halfs of my brain. In short, it was fantastic and relaxing--hilarious and peaceful--I was immature and I morphed into my mother--my mind was constantly ticking and screaming but somehow still allowed me some solace. It was confusing. It was brilliant. It was exhausting.
For being so relaxed and so peaceful (at least...one half of my brain) the return has been a sharp shift. To be crude, the shit is about to hit the fan. This last month is going to be murder, and I am going to vanish. There is just so much to be done in so little time. I don't know what all to attribute this tension to. I only know that I woke up this morning feeling much less at ease about nearly everything.
But the beach was an escape--hah, but how can you ever completely escape when you've got your imagination with you? Like walking in a ghost's footsteps...
The drive down was classic girls going to the beach. I had on a tiara, the music was right, the sun was flashing, Jimmy Buffet was singing to all of Florida. Tuesday and Wednesday belonged to the girls. We had an amazing time. I can't really even explain all that we did or all that was said. We had some good talks and good walks. We made some friends, we cooked an excellent meal. We connected. We felt "so good"...ha ha ha...Thursday the boys appeared, earlier than we had originally thought. That was the wonderful thing about this trip...It was so incredibly laid-back and hardly anything was actually planned. We weren't even sure we were going to the beach. The whole trip was just basically--well...you wanna do this? Okay. We will. You wanna go now? Okay, sure. You want to stay here? Sure. You want all of these people to come? Why not. And it all came together so flawlessly.
I took a nap in the afternoon on Thursday, somewhat by accident. I woke up to Alan right up in my face next to me. What a way to wake up. thanks a lot. Once the boys were there our time increased in excellent-ness. We ate out, we had big plans...we just did a lot and had a fantastic time doing it.
One of my favorite times was driving back from Destin with ABK and Jason and Patrick singing Fallout Boy. It was nice to spend time with all of those people. It just came together and it just worked.
Like Kristen said, one day soon we'll have to sit back and share pictures and reflect on all of it. Awesome trip.
And now reality.
I'll be gone for awhile. And I'm also going to attempt to shut up for awhile. Lips keep flapping when things haven't been thought through...makes me sloppy. Weak. Indecisive. And I reveal these undeveloped thoughts in crude forms and regret them. I need to protect myself and stop the spontaneity.
I long for a smooth path. Cruising along with a smile that's been constant on my face for as long as I can remember. I'm really not so complicated. I'll do what I have to. And I'll keep moving and eventually I'll keep smiling. My God, its too wonderful and its too beautiful and I'm starting to wonder if I can handle it. Because its too much. Because its been there before. And the most I will do is throw shadows at you....
And for now, I have to vanish.
I'll see you in a month.
What a week. Just...wow. Spring Break was so completely packed with just about everything that you can imagine. Cliche--but a rollercoaster ride. A confusing battle throughout the entire trip between two halfs of my brain. In short, it was fantastic and relaxing--hilarious and peaceful--I was immature and I morphed into my mother--my mind was constantly ticking and screaming but somehow still allowed me some solace. It was confusing. It was brilliant. It was exhausting.
For being so relaxed and so peaceful (at least...one half of my brain) the return has been a sharp shift. To be crude, the shit is about to hit the fan. This last month is going to be murder, and I am going to vanish. There is just so much to be done in so little time. I don't know what all to attribute this tension to. I only know that I woke up this morning feeling much less at ease about nearly everything.
But the beach was an escape--hah, but how can you ever completely escape when you've got your imagination with you? Like walking in a ghost's footsteps...
The drive down was classic girls going to the beach. I had on a tiara, the music was right, the sun was flashing, Jimmy Buffet was singing to all of Florida. Tuesday and Wednesday belonged to the girls. We had an amazing time. I can't really even explain all that we did or all that was said. We had some good talks and good walks. We made some friends, we cooked an excellent meal. We connected. We felt "so good"...ha ha ha...Thursday the boys appeared, earlier than we had originally thought. That was the wonderful thing about this trip...It was so incredibly laid-back and hardly anything was actually planned. We weren't even sure we were going to the beach. The whole trip was just basically--well...you wanna do this? Okay. We will. You wanna go now? Okay, sure. You want to stay here? Sure. You want all of these people to come? Why not. And it all came together so flawlessly.
I took a nap in the afternoon on Thursday, somewhat by accident. I woke up to Alan right up in my face next to me. What a way to wake up. thanks a lot. Once the boys were there our time increased in excellent-ness. We ate out, we had big plans...we just did a lot and had a fantastic time doing it.
One of my favorite times was driving back from Destin with ABK and Jason and Patrick singing Fallout Boy. It was nice to spend time with all of those people. It just came together and it just worked.
Like Kristen said, one day soon we'll have to sit back and share pictures and reflect on all of it. Awesome trip.
And now reality.
I'll be gone for awhile. And I'm also going to attempt to shut up for awhile. Lips keep flapping when things haven't been thought through...makes me sloppy. Weak. Indecisive. And I reveal these undeveloped thoughts in crude forms and regret them. I need to protect myself and stop the spontaneity.
I long for a smooth path. Cruising along with a smile that's been constant on my face for as long as I can remember. I'm really not so complicated. I'll do what I have to. And I'll keep moving and eventually I'll keep smiling. My God, its too wonderful and its too beautiful and I'm starting to wonder if I can handle it. Because its too much. Because its been there before. And the most I will do is throw shadows at you....
And for now, I have to vanish.
I'll see you in a month.