I'll tell you a tale!
I am enjoying a Pepsi right now. Joy! I'm not liking this week of rain/50 degree weather. It seems to be making people bitchy (like my parental units. Oy vey). Whatever, am determined to have the rest of the day be good. Am also hoping that this story will bring some emu-ish light into some of your lives. And without further ado . . .
The Great Journey (title by Kathy) alternate title, "The Faithful Emu" (a la Kathleen and Ernest Hemmingway)
By "Shinnin" with contributions from "Kithy"
Once there was an emu and his name was not Bob and he didn't like vanilla ice cream. He didn't like vanilla ice cream so much that he wanted none to be left in the world. So he made himself a Big Not-So-Big Ray of Heat out of bamboo and wombats to melt all of the vanilla ice cream (it would only melt vanilla ice cream, no other flavors of ice cream, but it would also melt diamonds and yogurt with jimmies due to the fact that the emu was the founder of the cult, The Goudas, in which one had to make ritual sacrifices of diamonds and yogurt with jimmies to their lord and master, Cheesus). So the emu took a lavender submarine to The Land of Ice (a.k.a. Greenland) to enact his plot. But Da President heard of this plot through CIA intelligence, and Da President really liked vanilla ice cream, so he took a tank and some napalm to the land of ice to stop Emu-Not-Referred-To-As-Bob. However, the emu had magical monkification powers from nuclear waste and he turned Da President into a brass monkey. It seemed hopeless for the world, but just when the emu was about to switch on his Big Not-So-Big Ray of Heat made out of bamboo and wombats, Xena appeared from an alternate universe, as did Sailor Garurumon! Xena and Sailor Garurumon destroyed the Big Not-So-Big Ray of Heat with Xena's sharp spinny things and Sailor Garurumon's Garuru Glaive. In desperation, the emu performed a melting dance to his lord and master, Cheesus, so that he would melt the vanilla ice cream with his meltification powers. Xena and Sailor Garurumon combined their Super Kick Ass Grrl Powers to transform the Emu-Whose-Name-Was-Not-Bob into a German pen, but they did not have enough power to stop Cheesus, who had already been summoned. Luckily, at that very moment, a large, upside-down castle fell from the sky and its door opened and a soccer ball (infused with the revolutionary power of Dios) came flying out of it and it hit Cheesus, sending him into oblivion forever. Then Xena and Sailor Garurumon rejoiced, for out of the castle came English Soccer Player Anthy who had kicked the ball that destroyed Cheesus (after all, after leaving Ohtori Academy, she traveled to England to become a soccer player so that she could be reunited with her lover, Utena). And then to celebrate, the three girls, and Anthy's lover Utena, all had tea together in a rose garden with the now freed wombats.
The End!
Hope that the emu made everyone rejoice with yayness! I'm going to eat lunch!