I seriously can't believe this
I had been feeling so great before. I thought it would last. Now I've been dragged back down to feeling like shit and I don't even know why.
I decided to write in the coffee shop again tonight, thinking I'd find an answer. What I ended up with was seven pages of sound and fury signifying nothing (with apologies to Will Shakespeare).
I'm so goddamn lonely right now, but at the same time people piss me off so much. Why am I like this? It can't be healthy. If you're lonely, you should in theory appreciate people all the more instead of being disgusted by them. People's flaws shouldn't matter so much when you feel the need to be with somebody.
I feel like I'm going to crack soon. I just can't go on feeling like this. But people piss me off too much, who am I supposed to confide in?
I found it interesting that tonight when I was at a loss of things to write I pulled out my Mousetrap script, as if my lines haven't been burned into my head for the past month or so, as if I couldn't act out the whole play by myself if I wanted to. I don't know why I decided to review it again but I did. We open in less than two weeks and for all the work I've put into it I should be excited. So why aren't I? It's not like me to not feel excited for a show. All I can feel is frustration right now for reasons I'd rather not get into here.
I don't even want to sleep, I'm not tired, but it's far too cold for me to take a walk tonight, even I'm not that dumb.
Why do I do this to myself? Why do I have to be such a fucking malcontent?
I decided to write in the coffee shop again tonight, thinking I'd find an answer. What I ended up with was seven pages of sound and fury signifying nothing (with apologies to Will Shakespeare).
I'm so goddamn lonely right now, but at the same time people piss me off so much. Why am I like this? It can't be healthy. If you're lonely, you should in theory appreciate people all the more instead of being disgusted by them. People's flaws shouldn't matter so much when you feel the need to be with somebody.
I feel like I'm going to crack soon. I just can't go on feeling like this. But people piss me off too much, who am I supposed to confide in?
I found it interesting that tonight when I was at a loss of things to write I pulled out my Mousetrap script, as if my lines haven't been burned into my head for the past month or so, as if I couldn't act out the whole play by myself if I wanted to. I don't know why I decided to review it again but I did. We open in less than two weeks and for all the work I've put into it I should be excited. So why aren't I? It's not like me to not feel excited for a show. All I can feel is frustration right now for reasons I'd rather not get into here.
I don't even want to sleep, I'm not tired, but it's far too cold for me to take a walk tonight, even I'm not that dumb.
Why do I do this to myself? Why do I have to be such a fucking malcontent?