I get preachy and introspective
Alt title: My Thoughts on Love
First off, im not C.S. Lewis and that qualified to talk, im just feeling introspective and bored waiting on a ride. Second, not a condemnation of anyone. third, pigeonholes are stupid- take with salt prease
Ive been thinking about what makes a relationship work more lately. Why? Because most of my friends are having a myriad of problems and yet im skating through with relative ease, I can only assume i'm headed for a big angry wall without knowing. So I keep trying to think ahead. Part of it is of course that Kara is a saint of patience. However I think it may also be our thoughts on love, heres what seems to be true from what ive seen anyway. First don't believe in fairy tales. No ones perfect, no ones going to sweep into someones life and fix everything- they're only human. I think its key that people think of their partner realistically. second i think agape as well as eros is needed. If you want to make it work it does take a degree of unconditional love. Does that mean accept crappy behaviour? no. More on this later maybe. Similar in life plans are needed to some extent. If one has drastically different goals/beliefs inevitably the other is gonna have to concede completely and wont be happy and WILL resent the other for it eventually. On the other hand, compromise is key. Yah i kinda wanna run off to film school right now and come back for functional work, but that would really strain the relationship and really it can wait. Just talking honestly about it then finding the compromise makes so many issues just fade away. Now to quote: "i know what your thinking potential user comment" this is all fairly common sense. But i wonder if it really is. I think one reason people bounce from relationship to relationship is they want love but not all that goes with it. I think the reason it then sucks so much for one/both parties is that religiously/evolutionarily we are a mate for life being. Religiously its the obvious you arn't truly a full human without your partner. Hence why its so great then hurts so bad. On the science standpoint it makes sense that instinct would encourage it. Kinda getting off on a tangent. Anyway, and kinda paradoxically, you have to be your own person too. There was a point where me and Kara were a bit strained because when we were together we wouldnt do what we would normally do. I dont mean going to a nice place together etc, i mean if were just hanging out we wouldnt do much at all. The fix, do the stuff your would normally together. I think its a good indicator of it working out some too, cuz when your normal action, be it nap, tv, etc is like 10x better just because of the company its great.
woops gotta go, more of this thesis later...maybe? probably not.
First off, im not C.S. Lewis and that qualified to talk, im just feeling introspective and bored waiting on a ride. Second, not a condemnation of anyone. third, pigeonholes are stupid- take with salt prease
Ive been thinking about what makes a relationship work more lately. Why? Because most of my friends are having a myriad of problems and yet im skating through with relative ease, I can only assume i'm headed for a big angry wall without knowing. So I keep trying to think ahead. Part of it is of course that Kara is a saint of patience. However I think it may also be our thoughts on love, heres what seems to be true from what ive seen anyway. First don't believe in fairy tales. No ones perfect, no ones going to sweep into someones life and fix everything- they're only human. I think its key that people think of their partner realistically. second i think agape as well as eros is needed. If you want to make it work it does take a degree of unconditional love. Does that mean accept crappy behaviour? no. More on this later maybe. Similar in life plans are needed to some extent. If one has drastically different goals/beliefs inevitably the other is gonna have to concede completely and wont be happy and WILL resent the other for it eventually. On the other hand, compromise is key. Yah i kinda wanna run off to film school right now and come back for functional work, but that would really strain the relationship and really it can wait. Just talking honestly about it then finding the compromise makes so many issues just fade away. Now to quote: "i know what your thinking potential user comment" this is all fairly common sense. But i wonder if it really is. I think one reason people bounce from relationship to relationship is they want love but not all that goes with it. I think the reason it then sucks so much for one/both parties is that religiously/evolutionarily we are a mate for life being. Religiously its the obvious you arn't truly a full human without your partner. Hence why its so great then hurts so bad. On the science standpoint it makes sense that instinct would encourage it. Kinda getting off on a tangent. Anyway, and kinda paradoxically, you have to be your own person too. There was a point where me and Kara were a bit strained because when we were together we wouldnt do what we would normally do. I dont mean going to a nice place together etc, i mean if were just hanging out we wouldnt do much at all. The fix, do the stuff your would normally together. I think its a good indicator of it working out some too, cuz when your normal action, be it nap, tv, etc is like 10x better just because of the company its great.
woops gotta go, more of this thesis later...maybe? probably not.