[FIC] Divining Belonging
Title: Divining Belonging
Pairing(s): Changmin POV, OT5
Rating: PG
Summary: If you travel around the world in search of home, is it really the place you're looking for or those lost kindred spirits you hope to connect with?
Author's Notes: Entry at chang_min's makeawish!contest 2010 (overall winner ZOMG theafjlsdka;fdasjk thank you so much!! ;;;). Though research was conducted to ensure some modicum of accuracies, please note that this is a work of fiction and therefore, I have taken some small liberties. Thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoy!
Shanghai, China
June of 2000
Age: 12
The van is cramped and the smell of cigarettes lingers on the cushions. Changmin's mother has a disgruntled face on while she fiddles with the vents of the AC, but Changmin has his nose pressed against the glass, staring out at the foreign landscape.
It feels like the countryside instead of one of the largest cities in China. Dirt fields spread out on both sides of the road with the occasional house dotting the horizon. But soon, there are more buildings, small apartments with bamboo scaffolding, and half-finished construction sites, until skyscrapers and byways populate the view.
It's his first time traveling overseas, a special vacation with his father having a business meeting in Shanghai. Their flight wasn't too long though Jiyeon kept fidgeting and wanting to take off her seat belt. She's sleeping now, blessedly quiet and Changmin is relieved that he can observe the landscape in silence.
He stares at the buildings that pass by them, a mix of modern and traditional, as taxis and bicycles weave in and out of traffic. The taxi driver tells them that they've finally arrived and Changmin steps out in the humid summer air. The hotel lobby is blissfully air conditioned and cool, with a grand curved staircase flanking the sides of the front desk.
He carefully unpacks, putting his clothes in the assigned drawer his mother chooses. His father tells him that they're going on a walking tour and to make sure he takes care of his younger sister. To be honest, he'd much rather eat, but he nods dutifully and tells Jiyeon to get ready.
They walk and Changmin can't help staring at everything. He sees some English and hanja everywhere, making him wish he had paid closer to attention in his classes or taken the initiative to learn more. But he tries to make out the best he can with what he remembers. The tour is somewhat fast moving so Changmin has to push Jiyeon a bit to make sure they don't lose their guide.
"Oh look!" His sister suddenly yanks her hand free to squat down and pick up a forgotten flower hairpin off the sidewalk.
"Jiyeon, don't pick that up. It could be dirty. Come on, we're going to lose them," Changmin reprimands, holding out his hand. "Throw it away."
"But I want to keep it! Can't I keep it? Look how pretty it is," Jiyeon begs as she pouts.
"You don't know whose it is and it might belong to someone else. You should leave it there so they can find it again. Haven't you lost things before and then you're sad to find it's not there anymore?" Changmin's getting impatient and he keeps bobbing his head up to make sure he can still see their tour group a few meters away.
Jiyeon worries her lip. "I guess so... Fine. But oppa, you have to buy me a flower hairpin, okay?"
Changmin's getting a bit more annoyed so he hurriedly answers, "Yes, yes, okay, but only if you're good and listen to your oppa. Now, hold my hand, we need to catch up to the --"
But Changmin stops. He doesn't see the group anywhere and he frantically scans the crowd, trying to see if they've simply gone ahead. Panicking inside, he tries to stay calm, knowing he has to be the leader for his sister.
"Catch up to?" Jiyeon cocks her head.
"Uh, to the group. So let's just go straight ahead, okay?" Changmin finds himself nervously smiling while Jiyeon simply nods.
He makes them walk a rather fast pace, ducking and weaving, trying to peer over adults to try and find the group. But he really can't find them (he wonders how he could have lost such a big group) and swallows. Did they go into a store? Or a restaurant? He checks his watch and it's almost noon according to Korea time. So it's not quite lunch time here (he remembers his dad explaining that China has a different time) but he's still hungry. He tries to restrain that thought, but his stomach grumbles anyway. Should he try and retrace their steps, go back to the hotel? He looks around, trying to see if there's some sort of police station, but they're next to some big garden which looks like a big maze.
He glances behind them, trying to recall if they passed any police stations. But all he remembers are lots of storefronts and restaurants.
"Oppa? I'm tired. Where is umma and appa?" Jiyeon tugs at his shirt, looks up at him in slight distress.
Changmin sees some old people doing tai chi and some benches. It can't be that unsafe if the old people are there, right?
"They're just a little bit more ahead of us, Jiyeon. Here, we can take a rest on this bench, okay? Oppa's here." Changmin sits on the bench, wondering what to do. The best would be to either find a police station or find the hotel. Hotel... Changmin closes his eyes, thinking back on getting off the taxi. Okay, there were big silver letters in English, and the building has some weird things coming out from the top... he snaps his eyes open. He remembers the name. He grabs his notebook and pen out of his bag and hurriedly writes it down before he forgets.
"Oppa, I'm hungry. When are we going to eat?" Jiyeon tugs at him again.
Changmin sighs. He doesn't have any money, and his mom wouldn't let him pack all the snacks he wanted just in case. But he looks through his bag and manages to scrounge up some candies and gum.
"We'll eat as soon as we find them okay? Here, you can have this for now. I know you like strawberry, right?" Changmin knows that if Jiyeon starts to miss their mom too much, she'll start to cry and Changmin doesn't know if he wouldn't be able to not cry either.
"Strawberry! Thanks oppa!" She sucks on the lollipop contentedly, swinging her legs on the bench.
Well, at least that will hold her for now. Changmin picks the gum instead, wanting to save the candies for his sister. At least he can keep on chewing the gum for a long time. He hopes it will stave off his hunger pangs for the moment.
A round bouncy ball suddenly pops out from the hedges, bright red, as it rolls towards their bench. Jiyeon is distracted by something else and is looking away, but Changmin notices and he stops the ball with his foot.
"Junsuyah, you're too strong! What are you doing?" A boy, looking a bit older than Changmin, pushes through the bushes as he sees the ball and Changmin.
"Oh! Thanks! Um. Uh. What was it... xie xie! um, xie xie?" the boy stumbles to say and scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
Korean. It's Korean. Changmin could almost cry with relief.
"I'm Korean! You're Korean too??" He can't help shouting a little bit and Jiyeon looks at her brother and this oppa in curiosity.
"Y-yeah!" the boy laughs. "Sorry, my dongsaeng Junsu, he gets carried away with soccer. Our parents just moved here and we play a lot in this park. They like that museum. I'm Junho, Kim Junho." Junho points to himself. "Who are you?"
"Shim Changmin. This is my sister, Jiyeon." Jiyeon hides a little behind Changmin's long legs and peeks at Junho, who smiles at her.
"Hyung, I'm just too good--. Who're they?" Another boy, shorter, with large eyes steps out and stares at Changmin and Jiyeon openly.
"Junsu, you're lucky you didn't hit them. They're Korean! This is Shim Changmin and his sister, Jiyeonssi."
"Really?! Wait, that means we can have more people to play soccer with! Right, hyung?" Junsu beams bright and Changmin wonders if this "Junsu" character lives on soccer.
"Yah dongsaeng, aren't you hungry? We should get some food. Oh, did you guys want to eat something? We usually get these amazing dumplings from this stand called Jia Jia Tang Bo. Funny name huh? Anyway, they're so good!"
Changmin is very hungry at this point and warm dumplings sound incredibly tempting. But he needs to be polite and he really should try and go back to their hotel.
"That sounds really good, but uh. We don't have money and--"
"Hyung will buy for all of us! Right, hyung?" Junsu grins at Junho and Changmin's reminded of Jiyeon when she wants something very badly.
"Well, I am the oldest yeah? How old are you?"
"I'm 12. Jiyeon's 6."
"Okay. Junsu's actually the same age as you, but I'm older than him. Hyung will take care of you all," Junho offers graciously.
"Yay! Changminah, do you like soccer? You love it, right? You should come play with us every day? Did you move here--" Junsu latches on to Changmin's arm, which Changmin flinches at slightly. He's never been the most touchy-feely person and he doesn't have close friends.
"Junsu, now now. Let's walk so we can get there faster. Jiyeonnie? You want to hold my hand or your oppa's?" Jiyeon looks at them both, silently asking Changmin if it's okay. Changmin nods; he's usually pretty good about guessing people's character and these two seem friendly enough.
---
The dumplings are amazing and Changmin wants more, he could eat 20 kg of them, but he restrains himself. Also, the line is still insane and he highly doubts that anyone would appreciate him taking fifty of them. He can't help staring at Junsu, who eats just as fast, if not faster than Changmin (a first in his life). Junho just laughs along and Jiyeon seems to really like him. She tends to be shy around new people, but she sits comfortably next to Junho, eating everything quietly. Changmin is glad. Junho seems like the reliable hyung he always wanted in his life, though there's something distant about him. He's friendly enough, but Changmin doesn't quite feel like he could get close to him.
Junsu is another story entirely. He's loud, raucous, energetic, and has a tendency to make horrible jokes and laugh at them himself. Changmin doesn't know how Junho deals with it -- at this point, he's desperate to get back to the hotel.
Yet Changmin can read him like an open book. Everything seems so clear and he falls into a habit of teasing him so easily that Changmin almost wonders if they've met before. He's enjoying it a little bit too much though when he fails to realize that Junsu is becoming more and more quiet and Junho furrows his brow.
"Oppa..." Jiyeon pulls at his sleeve. Changmin immediately feels guilty. He's gotten food from them and yet this is how he treats them.
"Sorry. I. I go too far. My mother always tells me." Changmin looks down.
"Hey, it's okay! No worries," Junho says. "Right Junsu?"
Junsu nods slowly, before an idea seems to pop in his head. "Where do you live? We're staying in a hotel right now, but umma and appa are working on our house. It's going to be big!"
Changmin suddenly remembers that they shouldn't be sitting here talking; their parents are probably worried sick and they need to get back to the hotel, right away.
"Uh, actually, we need to go back to our hotel. Do you... just a second," Changmin starts to rummage through his bag until he victoriously pulls out the sheet. "Do you know where this is?"
Junho and Junsu both peer carefully at the paper when their eyes widen.
"That's where we're staying."
---
Changmin expects a harsh reprimanding and scolding, but his mother is in tears and hugs them both tightly while his father looks utterly relieved and thankful. Changmin keeps his mouth shut about Jiyeon. Even though she starts to say something, he interrupts her and tells them that they simply lost view of them when they looked away for a second.
In either case, his parents decide that they should stay at the hotel and not do anything more for the rest of the day. Changmin can't help the bit of annoyance -- yes, he's glad they're back too, but they're safe now and there's still plenty of hours left in the day. He looks out longingly at the skyscape from their hotel window when there's a knock at their door.
"Um, hi, um--"
"Boys! Thank you so much again for helping our Changminnie and Jiyeonnie. I can't tell you how thankful I am. Come in, come in, I know it's a bit small."
Changmin turns his head around to see Junho and Junsu standing, fidgeting a bit awkwardly. He brightens and wonders why they've come.
"I, I mean, Junsu and I. We wanted to know if Changminsshi and Jiyeonsshi wanted to play in our room? We won't go out, we'll be in room 1563 and you can always call us?" Junho asks politely.
"Please?" Junsu has the perfect puppy dog eyes that Changmin almost gags.
"Well, I don't know, it's been a crazy day..." His mother looks a bit frazzled and doesn't seem to want to let them out of her sight.
"Yeobo, maybe they can just stay here and play? We do have two rooms and we can leave the connecting door slightly open?" His father seems a bit more understanding and apologetic about the whole situation.
"That's a good idea. Boys, is that okay with you? You can bring your toys or games in that room if you like. I'll order some room service. Now Changmin and Jiyeon, make sure to play nice," she tells them before gently pushing them towards the other room.
---
By the end of the week, Changmin finds himself being best friends with Junsu. They've found a joint love (or rather, an intense rivalry) for Mario Kart and Bleach on the DS. Changmin's just a little bit better at Mario Kart while Junsu is a tad better at Bleach. But it's often so close that they go at it for hours while Junho plays with Jiyeon, reading books and playing with her toys.
Changmin eventually got to explore more of Shanghai, though his mother insists on holding his hand, which is rather embarrassing at the age of 12. But he accepts it if he can see the Huangpu river, the parks, the walkways, the Oriental Pearl TV Tower, D-Mall and the restaurants. He writes everything in his notebook and he always talks to Junsu every night, sometimes in his room, sometimes in Junsu's.
They realize on the very last day that Junsu actually used to live in Seoul, in the neighborhood right next to Changmin's. It's strange that for the first time, Changmin finally starts to understand why people don't like farewells or goodbyes. Or at least, he finds it to be more painful than usual.
Junsu and Junho and his parents are waving them goodbye as they board the shuttle taxi. Junsu starts to yell at him but the door closes, so he rolls the window down, yelling back at him. For once, his mother doesn't scold him as he promises to e-mail Junsu, to stay in touch, and to get together again in Seoul.
Changmin keeps waving until the speed of the van is too fast and he fears his arm will get cut off by the slightly reckless driver. He can't see Junsu too clearly anyway; he can barely manage to make out a one-inch speck.
He doesn't notice that his eyes are a bit wet.
Paris, France.
July of 2004
Age: 16
Even from the start, when he realizes who is going, Changmin feels that something bad is going to happen. But he hadn't wanted to go study abroad for a whole year and going during the summer seemed like the perfect amount of time.
He sighs. He's still sitting in the airplane as they currently taxi to their gate. The flight was long, cramped, and Changmin can't wait to stretch out his legs. The only good thing was that he had been assigned a window seat so he hadn't needed to move for bathroom users.
There's only two people he'd consider talking to in their entire group. The rest tends to be the popular type or jocks, mostly interested in going to France to party and drink.
Him? He wants to explore something different, see the artistic city, and taste a bit of Europe.
He cranes his head to look out of the small window. But the plexiglass is scratched up and he can't see much except for the tarmac.
Finally, they land and head towards the baggage claim carousels. Changmin gets distracted along the way staring at the intricate Charles de Gaulle airport architecture before one of his teachers clears her throat and motions for him to come quickly.
He groans when they're shuttled onto a train to travel south. The only positive is that he's able to actually sleep in these seats. He jolts awake when a teacher comes by and taps his shoulder.
They step out in the twilight where he's soon introduced to his host mother (Juliette), his host father (Henri), and his host brother (Benoit). He's not sure how it will all go, but classes start tomorrow and he hopes everything goes well despite what he felt initially.
---
He hates being here.
Well, no, he loves his host family, he likes the classes, the food is great, and the landscape is amazing.
He hates being a foreigner with a whole group of clearly foreign-looking people here. Most of his classmates don't even try speaking French when they go out on excursions, speaking Korean, pointing at things, laughing, taking silly photos, and being rude. He doesn't like it. The locals soon learn to distrust the large group of Korean high schoolers and Changmin is frustrated. Didn't they pay and apply to go here, on this trip? To learn French? To understand the culture?
He finally gets so fed up with it that he stops going with them after school and on the weekends to go on his own adventures. His grammar is getting much better, but he still has trouble pronouncing certain words and he works hard to listen to the people speak, let the sounds wash over him again and again.
It feels great and absolutely liberating to be on his own. He loves being able to decide that today, he will go to that museum and he can take the Métro and just GO. He snaps photos everywhere, organizing them each night and carefully typing up details with date, time, and location.
On Tuesday, his teachers tell them during lunch break that they will be going to Paris for a few days. He brightens up immediately, wondering if they'll be able to see the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre, Montmartre, and of course, the Seine. Later that day, they're given an itinerary with everything Changmin wanted to visit, including a few others.
When he checks his e-mail that night, his mother tells him that his father is going to Paris in a few days. She mentions that Jiyeon misses him and hopes that his studies are going well.
'Your father wants to know if your schedule lets you have dinner out. I think he has some grand design to take you to a fancy restaurant in the city.'
Changmin almost shouts out loud in glee before remembering where he is. A trip and dinner to the grand city. It's going to be perfect.
---
He can't believe how many photographs he's taken and he has to open up another account online to upload the new batch. The hustle and bustle of people, the smells from the cafes, the alleyways of cobblestone streets fill his senses and he wonders how to capture all of it with simply a camera and a notebook. He hears someone singing 'Aux Champs-Élysées, aux Champs-Élysées' and the phrase sticks in his head, repeating itself during the day.
Changmin calls his father to let him know Sunday is open and his father decides on La Tour d'Argent. Changmin's eyes widen when he investigates the restaurant online, and he suggests that maybe lunch would be better? He knows his father doesn't mind the occasional extravagance, but even for food, Changmin doesn't feel quite right.
When they arrive at the 'Silver Tower,' Changmin feels like he's stepped into some extravagant, decadent fantasy. They're seated with an incredible view of the city, where Changmin can see Notre Dame, the Île de la Cité, and even the Eiffel Tower.
There's a slight awkward moment when asked if they are Japanese or need Japanese translation. Changmin says they're Korean, which causes some sort of shuffle. He's not sure what to make of it but he doesn't think back to it until their server comes, along with a guy who doesn't look much older than Changmin. His eyes are very large and there's a coldness about him. He looks Asian but his hair is bleached completely blonde, almost white, while his pupils are blue.
'He will serve as my interpreter,' their server says in French. 'We want to provide the utmost service and we pride ourselves in making our guests as comfortable as possible.'
Changmin tries to explain that he can speak French, that he even studied the menu beforehand, but the server insists and the guy coolly translates each item. Despite his dyed hair and the tattoo Changmin can see peeking from his sleeve, he has to admit that this interpreter is pretty good.
His name is Kim Jaejoong. Changmin can see he's a little awkward and some sharp glances are thrown his way when he bumps into other servers. Changmin watches, noticing that he seems to have a nervous habit of pulling at his hair or glancing at the mirror. But when their eyes meet, Changmin looks away, not quite sure what to make of this seemingly enigmatic character.
Why is he here? Why is he working at this job? How did he get the job, considering he seems more fitting at some club or bar? It makes him so curious that for once, his food becomes second in his mind.
He excuses himself to go to the restroom, noting that even here, no expense is spared. He's splashing water on his face when he hears the door open and a voice calling to him in Korean.
Of course, it's Jaejoong. Changmin looks at him, water dripping, wondering what he wants.
"You uh, around for a few days? I don't get to talk to many Koreans. I actually work downstairs. But they just pulled me up today because they wanted to show you guys that we had interpreters, even for Koreans. Funny, isn't it?" Jaejoong pauses as he quickly pushes back an errant bang out of his eye. "Anyway, yeah. I get off at like 2am, but you free Monday? I miss speaking Korean, you know? We could meet up here tomorrow, I can take you to some cool places you don't always see on the tours and things?"
Changmin turns it over in his head. It would be nice to get something different, and something about Jaejoong makes him curious, intrigued. Despite just meeting, Changmin can't help but be easily pulled in by the familiarity in a foreign country and is more adventurous than usual.
"Sure. But what about the restaurant?" Changmin asks.
"Oh, it's only open Wednesday to Sunday. Do you want to meet here like around noon? Yeah?" Jaejoong looks very excited and he finally quirks a smile, somewhat shyly. Changmin blinks at the change in demeanor.
"Yeah, okay. Um. I'll see you then," Changmin manages to respond.
"Great. You should go back soon, they're waiting for you to sit back down so they can introduce desert. Which means, I'll be there soon too," Jaejoong sighs a little. "I really don't get it. I mean, I don't mind going up, but you know, I wanted to be here to learn about food and cooking and instead I'm washing dishes. Anyway, your French is great."
Changmin surprises himself by laughing and Jaejoong joins him, though he covers his mouth, an almost dainty mannerism that doesn't seem to fit his character.
---
After an hour of walking with Jaejoong, Changmin feels like he's just met Junsu's long lost cousin. They both have a tendency to ramble and talk when they think of something and they make odd statements or weird jokes. But Jaejoong is flashier, more spontaneous, and tends to hit when Changmin gets too sarcastic. Changmin doesn't hold back and they find themselves slapping each other on the arm while exploring the sewers, wandering the Père Lachaise to find famous gravestones, and staring at all the animals on display at Deyrolle, a taxidermist shop.
Changmin learns that Jaejoong was actually adopted along with four sisters. His Korean has a bit of a dialect, something he falls into easily when he gets excited about something. They gripe about looking Korean in France and the best foods they've eaten. Jaejoong talks about his hope to eventually become a chef, that becoming a busby was just the first step into the door.
They're wandering about a park when Changmin begins to notice that there are quite a few couples walking and sitting on benches. He feels a bit self-conscious, but tries to brush it off, thinking it's only his imagination. He sneaks a glance at Jaejoong, who's become oddly quiet.
Their eyes meet. Changmin quickly looks away.
"So... when are you leaving Paris?" Jaejoong asks as they keep walking down the gravel path.
"In three days. But I have to be with my school group at 5 today and then we go back south. I'll be back in Korea at the end of the month," Changmin replies, a bit wistfully. Though he'll be glad to go home and see his family again, he's liked having this space by himself, a bit of independence, a bit of air.
Jaejoong looks at his watch and then grabs Changmin's wrist, pulling him suddenly.
"What are you doing?" Changmin exclaims, wincing at Jaejoong's strength.
"That doesn't leave us much time for us to go my favorite secret cafe. Come on!" He leads authoritatively, walking entirely too fast for a summer's day in a French park.
Changmin would protest after being forcibly dragged for twenty blocks, ducking into alleyways and finally climbing a twisty, curving metal staircase that leads them to a small, cute cafe with large windows that open out to the city.
"The look on your face tells me that it was worth it. Right? Right?" Jaejoong looks very smug and cocky.
Changmin closes his mouth. "It's nice. As far as French cafes go. Really, this the best you can do?" Changmin's fighting hard not to laugh but Jaejoong takes sarcasm even more childishly than Junsu and the faces he makes are too great to miss.
"Well, I'll just have to make it memorable then," Jaejoong declares with a huff and before Changmin can understand what he means, a soft press of lips against his startles him to stilled shock. "Well?"
Changmin knows he's bright red.
"Y-y-yah!"
Jaejoong is laughing, so hard, and he seems to forget to use his hand, letting his mouth open wide for all the world to see as sunlight reflects off his hair.
Changmin can't quite get himself to hate Jaejoong. Completely.
Maybe Paris is the city of love, as cliché as it sounds.
Boston, USA
August of 2006
Age: 18
The humid, wet heat clings to his body, his clothes until Changmin feels like he's bathing in sweat. Freshmen are all around him, hauling furniture and suitcases. He's not doing much better, trying to figure out where his dorm is in the maze of red buildings on the quad.
"Hey, you need help?" A guy comes up to him and Changmin struggles not to oggle openly at the shirtless man. "Where are you trying to go?"
Changmin looks back at the sheet of paper.
"Winthrop?"
The man nods. "Got it! Here, I'll show you. I'm Yunho Jung. Welcome! You can call me U-know too, if it makes it easier to remember my name. You know? Hahah. Anyway."
Changmin cocks his head, not quite sure if he should laugh or groan. But he brightens.
"You are Korean, yes? I am too! Changmin. Ah, Changmin Shim," Changmin says, feeling a bit awkward not saying his last name first.
"Really?" Yunho switches over to Korean. "Great! I'll definitely show you around. Though, we should speak English. No point in coming here if you just speak your own language, at least, that's what I say."
Changmin nods. He's beginning to like this Yunho character.
And he admits, his looks too.
---
Yunho takes him around campus, pointing out the best places to eat and the places to avoid studying. They end up grabbing falafel at a local cafe and wandering about the square, where Yunho treats him to Ben & Jerry's ice cream. There's lots of funky stores like Black Ink and the international bookstore. But Changmin's immediate favorite is Burdick's. The smell of rich chocolate is redolent in the air and the lemon chocolate cake tastes phenomenal.
"Central Square, Davis Square, and Porter Square are all great places to wander too. You can just walk all along Mass Ave or take the bus. You could bike, but Boston drivers, I don't know. I wouldn't trust them, hahah."
Changmin gets introduced to some of Yunho's buddies, mostly involved in sailing. Yunho tells him he should join.
"I hate to tell it to you, but you should find some club you want to join. You can't really make friends otherwise," Yunho advises.
"What about classes?" Changmin wonders.
"Dongsaeng, classmates are competition here. It's cutthroat and everyone's trying to reach the top. Better to find friends in other areas," Yunho continues.
Well, Changmin can relate to that. His high school classes were definitely competitive.
---
Changmin's roommates aren't the most sociable of people. They tend to be reserved and one of them does sports, so he's rarely in the room. The other one is an engineer, often holed up in the lab.
But Yunho's been great and he's met a lot of interesting people through him. He wasn't sure what it would be like, if he would have to study all the time, but so far, he's enjoying it, despite the cliques that are starting to form. It's nothing new really -- so long as he enjoys himself and does well, he doesn't really care. If anything, he competes with himself, and not other people.
Yunho tells him that he'll need it if he wants to be successful here. Yunho also lets him know that the first ones to crack? Are the ones that can't play hard and work hard.
Changmin wonders if he can just work hard and play... a little. He doesn't quite trust himself to not take it too far.
---
The trees are changing color and October soon rolls around. Yunho asks him if he wants to go out on the Charles and also lets him know that the Regatta, a major competition, is coming up soon.
"The river? Sailing?"
"Yeah, I feel like going out and it's nice to have another person there. Plus, you can help me," Yunho smiles.
"Ah, I see how it is. You just want my labor hyung." Changmin raises an eyebrow.
"No, that's not true, I want your company. And I thought you'd like a tour from the river," Yunho protests, though he is turning a bit red.
"Oh, my mistake. You want to go out on a date?" Changmin is feeling especially playful today; he had done quite well on a quiz and proved three students wrong in class, so he's on a roll.
"..."
"I'll take that as a yes."
---
The Boston skyline spreads across them, where the tall glass John Hancock Building and Prudential Tower peer at top. He can see the golden-domed State House and the outside concert hall of the Hatch Shell, along with the lights from Fenway Park.
They pass by MIT, the eponymous domed building coming up into their view. He can see the runners and cyclists along the Esplanade and captures some with his camera. Yunho asks him if he always carries his camera and Changmin answers yes.
"I've brought my camera with me everywhere. China, Paris, anywhere I go. And now, here," Changmin explains, carefully covering the lens with the cover. "I like being able to look back on memories. Have them marked in another way and not just in here." Changmin points to his brain.
Yunho leans back before posing in a horribly clichéd pose complete with two v-signs and a cheesy grin.
"Take one," he commands.
"I don't take photos of my friends," Changmin quietly comments. "I want them just for me, inside."
Yunho stops and puts down his hands.
"Okay. Just us then," Yunho declares. "Our secret."
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Spring of 2009
Age: 21
He'd be lying if he expected himself to partake in such a... well, time-honored classic. But Junsu's stories about Brazil made him so envious that he was determined to go. He just hadn't expected the opportunity to be during spring break.
The whole trip first came about ostensibly as an internship, but upon arriving, the directors tell him that it's been re-scheduled for later. They do set him up in a very nice location with easy access to the South Zone and the famous Copacabana beach. He does some filing in the morning and organizing, but otherwise, his afternoons and nights are completely free to roam and tour with the other interns. The sand is a lot hotter than he expects and he hurriedly puts his flip flops back on. He takes a photo of the swirling black and white sidewalk, sinuous and winding along.
They climb hundreds of steps up to see the famous Cristo Redentor statue with his arms outstretched. Changmin takes more photos, the view an amazing sight where he can capture the mountain Pão de Açúcar and just make out a cable car that carries passengers up and down. One of the interns jokes, telling him that if he takes too many pictures, he won't be living it. Changmin laughs, brushing it off. He'll enjoy plenty once he's settled down a bit.
---
Though most don't know, Changmin does drink, albeit not too often and mostly because Yunho liked having a drinking buddy.
In either case, he's currently on his fifth caiprinha and feeling a bit tipsy. The other interns are dancing, but he prefers to sit at the booth, watch the crowd, see the bodies flash in and out as the strobe lights rotate. Yunho had told him that one of his high school friends worked here, but Changmin hasn't seen anyone besides his group that could remotely pass for Korean.
The waitress hasn't come by in a while and his throat feels dry. Standing up a bit too quickly, he braces himself against the wall before slowly pushing himself through towards the bar. It helps to be taller and he tries to find a bartender that isn't too busy.
He catches the eye of a guy who looks entirely too well dressed in a black button-down shirt rolled up to the elbows and a skinny white tie. It takes a minute for Changmin to also realizes that the guy looks rather Asian. Korean, in fact.
He often isn't so bold or direct, but he blames the alcohol and immediately blurts out, "Park Yoochun?"
The bartender can't quite hear him over the blare of the music, so he shout it again rather loudly, startling some of the other bar patrons nearby.
Yoochun's eyes widen and he nods slowly, all the while staring at Changmin, as if to try and recognize him.
"Yunho's friend! College," Changmin yells, hoping the message goes through. Yoochun snaps his fingers and nods more enthusiastically. He leans over to whisper to one of the other bartenders and motions Changmin to go to the side of the bar.
Pressing against more bodies and sweat, Changmin makes it to the end where Yoochun waves him over towards the back. They walk through a skinny, dark alleyway (Changmin wondering for a moment if something terrible is going to happen, like in all those CSI episodes he's been marathoning, but he tries to assure himself that this is Yunho's friend) until a door creaks open and the night air greets them. Yoochun leaves the door propped open with a brick and he motions for them to sit on the plastic lawn chairs that have been set up.
"Hey, sorry about that. I know it gets crazy in there. But shit, you know Yunho? Really? Does he still use that stupid nickname 'U-know?' I told him he should quit it, but man, sometimes... well, you know. He gets an idea in his head and goes off. Anyway, you know me, Park Yoochun. What's your name?" Yoochun offers him a piece of gum, but Changmin declines. "Trying to not get back into smoking. Nervous habit and all."
"I'm Shim Changmin. He told me you worked here, but I wasn't sure. And yeah, he does still use it sometimes, says it helps anyone who doesn't speak Korean remember his name better. I don't really know," Changmin laughs (giggles? He fears it came out as giggles). "I was suppose, supposed to do work here. But seems like I'm more the classic spring break college student right now."
"Well, enjoy as much of it as you can. I came down here for my girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend. She models and things and I do music. But I bartend to keep up with the bills and she used to waitress." Yoochun starts to play with the piece of paper from his gum piece. "Didn't work out though. She met someone else and I've been here longer that I should be. But I like it down here. People are nice, things are relaxed, and it has nice weather."
Changmin nods in what he hopes is a sympathetic manner. He doesn't quite know what to say.
"Sorry," he mumbles, not wanting to seem completely inconsiderate.
Yoochun gives him a bitter smile. "Hey, not your fault. And Yunho's hooking me up with some business leads. I've already gotten some good reactions to some demos so hopefully, you know? Anyway. What have you done in Rio already? How's 'U-know' these days? Still chasing the girls?" Yoochun jokes.
Changmin doesn't quite not choke. "Uh. Well. He um."
Yoochun claps his hands and starts to laugh. "Wait, wait, don't tell me. He finally figured it out, right? See, I always thought to myself about it, and I was waiting for him to figure it out. He's a great guy, just not always the quickest in certain parts, if you know what I mean. I always sort of hoped... well. In either case. You his boyfriend?" Yoochun leers a bit and Changmin wants to shrink into his chair.
"Not really, no. Uh. He's confused," Changmin says, sighing a bit. One of the last days of graduation and too much partying had led to an awkward moment of discovering Yunho and another student (male) kissing rather enthusiastically. Yunho, of course, hadn't remembered when Changmin confronted him afterwards.
"Great." Yoochun shakes his head and frowns. "Well, he will get there, he knows what's right in the end."
"No," Changmin answers. "It's okay. I don't want to wait, anyway." Changmin makes his mind right then and there.
"Ah, you don't want to, is that so..." Yoochun gets up and holds out his hand. "Well, I've been eying you ever since you sat down at the booth inside. You wanna dance? I'll teach you if you don't. I'm very good."
On any other person, Changmin would proclaim that such sleazy lines of innuendo are too tacky. But Yoochun seems to drawl them out, his husky voice wrapping itself around Changmin, making him shiver.
"I'd be happy too."
---
Along with beach parties and excessive drinking, Changmin can now check off that he has indulged in sexual activities with a (semi) stranger during spring break. Or at least, that's what he concludes in panic after waking up. He's startled by a big fluffy dog licking insistently at his face in a strange bed in an unfamiliar house. He's completely undressed save for his underwear and all he can remember of last night is talking to... Yoo... Yoochun. Park Yoochun. Yunho's friend. The one with the voice. His cheeks feel hot and Changmin shakes his head to clear his thoughts.
He looks around and notices pills and a glass of water with a note. 'Take these, it'll make you feel better. And don't worry, you undressed yourself. Nothing happened. I'm sleeping on the couch.'
Changmin exhales. He grabs his t-shirt and pulls it on, before padding over to the living room.
Yoochun is tightly hugging a pillow, hair mussed and blankets askew. The scene is entirely too cute and Changmin immediately wants to hit himself for even thinking a grown man as cute. But he can't help it.
"Yoochunah, you have to drive me to the airport, you promised and--" the door suddenly opens on the other side and Changmin jaw drops.
"Jaejoong hyung?! What are you, wait, aren't you supposed to be in Paris? I don't. Ow. My brain hurts." Changmin massages his temples.
Jaejoong nervously laughs. "C-Changmin. Nice to see you. Um. Let me explain."
---
After hitting Yoochun awake and actually making him wake up with the smell of freshly brewed coffee, Jaejoong tells Changmin that he's been trying to learn new flavors and ingredients and he was on a trip through the Amazon. He had needed a place to stay so through some online ads and bulletin boards, he had found Yoochun, willing to host him for a month. Yoochun wanders off to take a shower as they catchup.
"He's a terrible cook, can only make coffee, and has the worst schedule. But he plays piano and sings like no one's business and he's even been able to sound out some of my favorite chansons," Jaejoong continues, his voice becoming very warm and gentle.
Changmin suspects. And well, with Jaejoong? He's never been afraid to be direct.
"You like him," he flatly says. Never mind the slight twinge in his heart.
"No no, he's more like my best friend though I do tell him everything and he is pretty hot, especially right after the shower, but no, it's not like that really. Maybe. I don't know," Jaejoong responds, waving his hands in denial but quite unsure himself.
"I am hot, especially after a shower," Yoochun interrupts with a cheeky expression. "But Changminah, you wound me. You really think I'd kiss you, dance with you like that if I had someone?" Yoochun takes every excuse to stand very close and have his toweled cock right in Changmin's line of sight. "Or you wanted a threesome? I'm always open for more love."
"Yoochunnie~! Stop that. He's not like that. This is Shim Changmin, proper and poised and educated. A bit of a nerd. And speaks French, like moi," Jaejoong interrupts as he motions grandly to himself.
Changmin isn't quite sure what to feel. He's confused, annoyed, aroused, and in pain.
"I think. I think I am going back to sleep. Good night," he chooses to say and he gets up, walks out, and flops back into bed.
---
If he had thought those years touring bits of Paris with Jaejoong was a constant barrage of senses, Brazil with Jaejoong AND Yoochun feels infinitely more chaotic. They have somewhat of their own little world, bits of random quirky and yet Changmin can't help but get sucked in, following them through the rabbit's hole into their veritable Wonderland. They pass by a band dressed all in white, trumpets blaring loudly while they explore the vendor shops, see the various pieces of folk art and intricate sand bottles with complicated landscapes. Changmin buys a few for his family and Yunho and Junsu.
But the best moments are at night, when they sit outside, talking, looking at the stars and hearing the lapping ocean waves. He tells them about Korea, about Seoul, talks to them about their homeland, recounts his college stories and what the US is like. Changmin finds himself talking about Yunho, meeting him that first day and about Junsu, his childhood friend who he still keeps in touch with, even though they've only met a few times in Seoul. He weaves each story with a weft detail here and a warp detail there, creating an intricate tapestry.
"Where will you go next?" Yoochun asks, caught up in Changmin's dreamscape and storytelling.
"I don't know. Maybe Prague. I've always wanted to go there," Changmin muses.
"You know, it's funny. You've met a Korean in a different country each time, you know? It must be fate, or something. Don't you think?" Jaejoong leans closer, expression a bit serious. "I mean, what are the chances that you meet a Korean and you become friends with them?"
Changmin nods. He's wondered it himself. Was some other force at work, making him connect this path in life? He's not sure.
"It's destiny, Changminah. We're fated to meet and fall in loooooove," Yoochun proclaims, in an overly dramatic voice, even singing the last word, "love."
"Hey! Don't forget me," Jaejoong pouts.
"An orgyyyyy?" Yoochun continues to sing and Changmin has to laugh at that.
Love. Maybe.
Can love be split?
Or shared?
Prague, Czech Republic
February of 2012
Age: almost 25
They all tell him, of course, that Prague is entirely too cold to go in the winter. He doesn't really care -- he's always tried to do what he wants and be independent. In either case, he needed a break from his job and why not treat this as an early birthday present?
He carefully plans not to travel on Valentine's Day, knowing the sight of couples reuniting would make him feel depressed and a bit bitter. Instead, he travels on the 15th and arrives at night to check-in at his hotel late.
He checks his e-mail out of habit, where Jaejoong has already sent him ten messages asking him if he's arrived, if he's safe, if he's bundled up. There's a very structured, formal letter from Yunho, while Junsu's is quick and to the point.
Yoochun hasn't sent him anything but a sudden knock on the door startles him and a slip of paper is slid under the door. It's a fax, complete with a big picture of cake and candles, and Changmin has to chuckle. Yoochun hasn't always been a fan of the electronic age.
They had all tried to set up tickets to meet him there, but one by one, each had told him that something unexpected had come up.
Changmin was disappointed, but that hadn’t stopped him. He was going to Prague. No matter what.
He's tired and he can't wait to explore tomorrow, the small streets and artisan workshops and bookstores. Changmin closes his eyes.
---
Changmin's already gone to the castle and explored parts of Old Town. He decides to go to Zizkov today, being told that there are a large number of interesting places to drink and eat. It's been two days since he arrived and he feels that out of all the places he's been to, Prague seems to fit him best. The age and the somewhat cloaked, mysterious ambiance appeals to him.
He finds a bar that's quiet, tucked away from the larger streets. It has large windows like the cafe Jaejoong took him, and there's a well-stocked bar that reminds him of Yoochun's club in Brazil. The outside has an interesting facade, red brick, making him think of Boston, while some ornate decorations on the walls are like the carvings he saw in Shanghai.
It's getting close to midnight and he brings out the small cake he had bought for himself earlier. He's not lonely, not really, when he knows they're out there, thinking of him.
A bell tolls in the background and he softly starts to sing happy birthday to himself. The bartender looks at him curiously but just shakes his head, continuing to wipe glasses dry.
Everything goes dark in front of him and he groans. But the lights suddenly flare up and Yoochun's there, behind the bar, calmly drying glasses right in front of Changmin's eyes.
"Changminah! Do you know how fast you walk? I can't believe you made me come here, it's so cold," Junsu whines and Changmin whips around to see Jaejoong and Yunho there too.
"Dongsaeng, we're sorry. But we wanted to surprise you. Jaejoong even made a cake! Look," Yunho says, as he points to a rather architecturally unstable looking confection of dark chocolate and strawberries.
"Happy Birthday, Changminnie. Here, someone, grab the lighter in my back pocket," Jaejoong commands and Junsu hesitatingly reaches out. "Come on, it's not like you're having sex with me."
Junsu turns bright red and scowls, grabbing the lighter a bit too aggressively.
"Don't--"
But the momentum makes Jaejoong lose his balance and the cake goes crashing right into Yunho's face.
"do that," Yunho finishes with a sigh. Jaejoong looks absolutely horrified while Junsu is trying to hide behind Changmin.
But Yoochun starts to chuckle, then laugh, the sound echoing loud in the room.
Changmin can't help but join and soon, all of them are laughing, almost until they're crying.
He's found it. Here. With the ones he loves.
Pairing(s): Changmin POV, OT5
Rating: PG
Summary: If you travel around the world in search of home, is it really the place you're looking for or those lost kindred spirits you hope to connect with?
Author's Notes: Entry at chang_min's makeawish!contest 2010 (overall winner ZOMG theafjlsdka;fdasjk thank you so much!! ;;;). Though research was conducted to ensure some modicum of accuracies, please note that this is a work of fiction and therefore, I have taken some small liberties. Thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoy!
Shanghai, China
June of 2000
Age: 12
The van is cramped and the smell of cigarettes lingers on the cushions. Changmin's mother has a disgruntled face on while she fiddles with the vents of the AC, but Changmin has his nose pressed against the glass, staring out at the foreign landscape.
It feels like the countryside instead of one of the largest cities in China. Dirt fields spread out on both sides of the road with the occasional house dotting the horizon. But soon, there are more buildings, small apartments with bamboo scaffolding, and half-finished construction sites, until skyscrapers and byways populate the view.
It's his first time traveling overseas, a special vacation with his father having a business meeting in Shanghai. Their flight wasn't too long though Jiyeon kept fidgeting and wanting to take off her seat belt. She's sleeping now, blessedly quiet and Changmin is relieved that he can observe the landscape in silence.
He stares at the buildings that pass by them, a mix of modern and traditional, as taxis and bicycles weave in and out of traffic. The taxi driver tells them that they've finally arrived and Changmin steps out in the humid summer air. The hotel lobby is blissfully air conditioned and cool, with a grand curved staircase flanking the sides of the front desk.
He carefully unpacks, putting his clothes in the assigned drawer his mother chooses. His father tells him that they're going on a walking tour and to make sure he takes care of his younger sister. To be honest, he'd much rather eat, but he nods dutifully and tells Jiyeon to get ready.
They walk and Changmin can't help staring at everything. He sees some English and hanja everywhere, making him wish he had paid closer to attention in his classes or taken the initiative to learn more. But he tries to make out the best he can with what he remembers. The tour is somewhat fast moving so Changmin has to push Jiyeon a bit to make sure they don't lose their guide.
"Oh look!" His sister suddenly yanks her hand free to squat down and pick up a forgotten flower hairpin off the sidewalk.
"Jiyeon, don't pick that up. It could be dirty. Come on, we're going to lose them," Changmin reprimands, holding out his hand. "Throw it away."
"But I want to keep it! Can't I keep it? Look how pretty it is," Jiyeon begs as she pouts.
"You don't know whose it is and it might belong to someone else. You should leave it there so they can find it again. Haven't you lost things before and then you're sad to find it's not there anymore?" Changmin's getting impatient and he keeps bobbing his head up to make sure he can still see their tour group a few meters away.
Jiyeon worries her lip. "I guess so... Fine. But oppa, you have to buy me a flower hairpin, okay?"
Changmin's getting a bit more annoyed so he hurriedly answers, "Yes, yes, okay, but only if you're good and listen to your oppa. Now, hold my hand, we need to catch up to the --"
But Changmin stops. He doesn't see the group anywhere and he frantically scans the crowd, trying to see if they've simply gone ahead. Panicking inside, he tries to stay calm, knowing he has to be the leader for his sister.
"Catch up to?" Jiyeon cocks her head.
"Uh, to the group. So let's just go straight ahead, okay?" Changmin finds himself nervously smiling while Jiyeon simply nods.
He makes them walk a rather fast pace, ducking and weaving, trying to peer over adults to try and find the group. But he really can't find them (he wonders how he could have lost such a big group) and swallows. Did they go into a store? Or a restaurant? He checks his watch and it's almost noon according to Korea time. So it's not quite lunch time here (he remembers his dad explaining that China has a different time) but he's still hungry. He tries to restrain that thought, but his stomach grumbles anyway. Should he try and retrace their steps, go back to the hotel? He looks around, trying to see if there's some sort of police station, but they're next to some big garden which looks like a big maze.
He glances behind them, trying to recall if they passed any police stations. But all he remembers are lots of storefronts and restaurants.
"Oppa? I'm tired. Where is umma and appa?" Jiyeon tugs at his shirt, looks up at him in slight distress.
Changmin sees some old people doing tai chi and some benches. It can't be that unsafe if the old people are there, right?
"They're just a little bit more ahead of us, Jiyeon. Here, we can take a rest on this bench, okay? Oppa's here." Changmin sits on the bench, wondering what to do. The best would be to either find a police station or find the hotel. Hotel... Changmin closes his eyes, thinking back on getting off the taxi. Okay, there were big silver letters in English, and the building has some weird things coming out from the top... he snaps his eyes open. He remembers the name. He grabs his notebook and pen out of his bag and hurriedly writes it down before he forgets.
"Oppa, I'm hungry. When are we going to eat?" Jiyeon tugs at him again.
Changmin sighs. He doesn't have any money, and his mom wouldn't let him pack all the snacks he wanted just in case. But he looks through his bag and manages to scrounge up some candies and gum.
"We'll eat as soon as we find them okay? Here, you can have this for now. I know you like strawberry, right?" Changmin knows that if Jiyeon starts to miss their mom too much, she'll start to cry and Changmin doesn't know if he wouldn't be able to not cry either.
"Strawberry! Thanks oppa!" She sucks on the lollipop contentedly, swinging her legs on the bench.
Well, at least that will hold her for now. Changmin picks the gum instead, wanting to save the candies for his sister. At least he can keep on chewing the gum for a long time. He hopes it will stave off his hunger pangs for the moment.
A round bouncy ball suddenly pops out from the hedges, bright red, as it rolls towards their bench. Jiyeon is distracted by something else and is looking away, but Changmin notices and he stops the ball with his foot.
"Junsuyah, you're too strong! What are you doing?" A boy, looking a bit older than Changmin, pushes through the bushes as he sees the ball and Changmin.
"Oh! Thanks! Um. Uh. What was it... xie xie! um, xie xie?" the boy stumbles to say and scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
Korean. It's Korean. Changmin could almost cry with relief.
"I'm Korean! You're Korean too??" He can't help shouting a little bit and Jiyeon looks at her brother and this oppa in curiosity.
"Y-yeah!" the boy laughs. "Sorry, my dongsaeng Junsu, he gets carried away with soccer. Our parents just moved here and we play a lot in this park. They like that museum. I'm Junho, Kim Junho." Junho points to himself. "Who are you?"
"Shim Changmin. This is my sister, Jiyeon." Jiyeon hides a little behind Changmin's long legs and peeks at Junho, who smiles at her.
"Hyung, I'm just too good--. Who're they?" Another boy, shorter, with large eyes steps out and stares at Changmin and Jiyeon openly.
"Junsu, you're lucky you didn't hit them. They're Korean! This is Shim Changmin and his sister, Jiyeonssi."
"Really?! Wait, that means we can have more people to play soccer with! Right, hyung?" Junsu beams bright and Changmin wonders if this "Junsu" character lives on soccer.
"Yah dongsaeng, aren't you hungry? We should get some food. Oh, did you guys want to eat something? We usually get these amazing dumplings from this stand called Jia Jia Tang Bo. Funny name huh? Anyway, they're so good!"
Changmin is very hungry at this point and warm dumplings sound incredibly tempting. But he needs to be polite and he really should try and go back to their hotel.
"That sounds really good, but uh. We don't have money and--"
"Hyung will buy for all of us! Right, hyung?" Junsu grins at Junho and Changmin's reminded of Jiyeon when she wants something very badly.
"Well, I am the oldest yeah? How old are you?"
"I'm 12. Jiyeon's 6."
"Okay. Junsu's actually the same age as you, but I'm older than him. Hyung will take care of you all," Junho offers graciously.
"Yay! Changminah, do you like soccer? You love it, right? You should come play with us every day? Did you move here--" Junsu latches on to Changmin's arm, which Changmin flinches at slightly. He's never been the most touchy-feely person and he doesn't have close friends.
"Junsu, now now. Let's walk so we can get there faster. Jiyeonnie? You want to hold my hand or your oppa's?" Jiyeon looks at them both, silently asking Changmin if it's okay. Changmin nods; he's usually pretty good about guessing people's character and these two seem friendly enough.
---
The dumplings are amazing and Changmin wants more, he could eat 20 kg of them, but he restrains himself. Also, the line is still insane and he highly doubts that anyone would appreciate him taking fifty of them. He can't help staring at Junsu, who eats just as fast, if not faster than Changmin (a first in his life). Junho just laughs along and Jiyeon seems to really like him. She tends to be shy around new people, but she sits comfortably next to Junho, eating everything quietly. Changmin is glad. Junho seems like the reliable hyung he always wanted in his life, though there's something distant about him. He's friendly enough, but Changmin doesn't quite feel like he could get close to him.
Junsu is another story entirely. He's loud, raucous, energetic, and has a tendency to make horrible jokes and laugh at them himself. Changmin doesn't know how Junho deals with it -- at this point, he's desperate to get back to the hotel.
Yet Changmin can read him like an open book. Everything seems so clear and he falls into a habit of teasing him so easily that Changmin almost wonders if they've met before. He's enjoying it a little bit too much though when he fails to realize that Junsu is becoming more and more quiet and Junho furrows his brow.
"Oppa..." Jiyeon pulls at his sleeve. Changmin immediately feels guilty. He's gotten food from them and yet this is how he treats them.
"Sorry. I. I go too far. My mother always tells me." Changmin looks down.
"Hey, it's okay! No worries," Junho says. "Right Junsu?"
Junsu nods slowly, before an idea seems to pop in his head. "Where do you live? We're staying in a hotel right now, but umma and appa are working on our house. It's going to be big!"
Changmin suddenly remembers that they shouldn't be sitting here talking; their parents are probably worried sick and they need to get back to the hotel, right away.
"Uh, actually, we need to go back to our hotel. Do you... just a second," Changmin starts to rummage through his bag until he victoriously pulls out the sheet. "Do you know where this is?"
Junho and Junsu both peer carefully at the paper when their eyes widen.
"That's where we're staying."
---
Changmin expects a harsh reprimanding and scolding, but his mother is in tears and hugs them both tightly while his father looks utterly relieved and thankful. Changmin keeps his mouth shut about Jiyeon. Even though she starts to say something, he interrupts her and tells them that they simply lost view of them when they looked away for a second.
In either case, his parents decide that they should stay at the hotel and not do anything more for the rest of the day. Changmin can't help the bit of annoyance -- yes, he's glad they're back too, but they're safe now and there's still plenty of hours left in the day. He looks out longingly at the skyscape from their hotel window when there's a knock at their door.
"Um, hi, um--"
"Boys! Thank you so much again for helping our Changminnie and Jiyeonnie. I can't tell you how thankful I am. Come in, come in, I know it's a bit small."
Changmin turns his head around to see Junho and Junsu standing, fidgeting a bit awkwardly. He brightens and wonders why they've come.
"I, I mean, Junsu and I. We wanted to know if Changminsshi and Jiyeonsshi wanted to play in our room? We won't go out, we'll be in room 1563 and you can always call us?" Junho asks politely.
"Please?" Junsu has the perfect puppy dog eyes that Changmin almost gags.
"Well, I don't know, it's been a crazy day..." His mother looks a bit frazzled and doesn't seem to want to let them out of her sight.
"Yeobo, maybe they can just stay here and play? We do have two rooms and we can leave the connecting door slightly open?" His father seems a bit more understanding and apologetic about the whole situation.
"That's a good idea. Boys, is that okay with you? You can bring your toys or games in that room if you like. I'll order some room service. Now Changmin and Jiyeon, make sure to play nice," she tells them before gently pushing them towards the other room.
---
By the end of the week, Changmin finds himself being best friends with Junsu. They've found a joint love (or rather, an intense rivalry) for Mario Kart and Bleach on the DS. Changmin's just a little bit better at Mario Kart while Junsu is a tad better at Bleach. But it's often so close that they go at it for hours while Junho plays with Jiyeon, reading books and playing with her toys.
Changmin eventually got to explore more of Shanghai, though his mother insists on holding his hand, which is rather embarrassing at the age of 12. But he accepts it if he can see the Huangpu river, the parks, the walkways, the Oriental Pearl TV Tower, D-Mall and the restaurants. He writes everything in his notebook and he always talks to Junsu every night, sometimes in his room, sometimes in Junsu's.
They realize on the very last day that Junsu actually used to live in Seoul, in the neighborhood right next to Changmin's. It's strange that for the first time, Changmin finally starts to understand why people don't like farewells or goodbyes. Or at least, he finds it to be more painful than usual.
Junsu and Junho and his parents are waving them goodbye as they board the shuttle taxi. Junsu starts to yell at him but the door closes, so he rolls the window down, yelling back at him. For once, his mother doesn't scold him as he promises to e-mail Junsu, to stay in touch, and to get together again in Seoul.
Changmin keeps waving until the speed of the van is too fast and he fears his arm will get cut off by the slightly reckless driver. He can't see Junsu too clearly anyway; he can barely manage to make out a one-inch speck.
He doesn't notice that his eyes are a bit wet.
Paris, France.
July of 2004
Age: 16
Even from the start, when he realizes who is going, Changmin feels that something bad is going to happen. But he hadn't wanted to go study abroad for a whole year and going during the summer seemed like the perfect amount of time.
He sighs. He's still sitting in the airplane as they currently taxi to their gate. The flight was long, cramped, and Changmin can't wait to stretch out his legs. The only good thing was that he had been assigned a window seat so he hadn't needed to move for bathroom users.
There's only two people he'd consider talking to in their entire group. The rest tends to be the popular type or jocks, mostly interested in going to France to party and drink.
Him? He wants to explore something different, see the artistic city, and taste a bit of Europe.
He cranes his head to look out of the small window. But the plexiglass is scratched up and he can't see much except for the tarmac.
Finally, they land and head towards the baggage claim carousels. Changmin gets distracted along the way staring at the intricate Charles de Gaulle airport architecture before one of his teachers clears her throat and motions for him to come quickly.
He groans when they're shuttled onto a train to travel south. The only positive is that he's able to actually sleep in these seats. He jolts awake when a teacher comes by and taps his shoulder.
They step out in the twilight where he's soon introduced to his host mother (Juliette), his host father (Henri), and his host brother (Benoit). He's not sure how it will all go, but classes start tomorrow and he hopes everything goes well despite what he felt initially.
---
He hates being here.
Well, no, he loves his host family, he likes the classes, the food is great, and the landscape is amazing.
He hates being a foreigner with a whole group of clearly foreign-looking people here. Most of his classmates don't even try speaking French when they go out on excursions, speaking Korean, pointing at things, laughing, taking silly photos, and being rude. He doesn't like it. The locals soon learn to distrust the large group of Korean high schoolers and Changmin is frustrated. Didn't they pay and apply to go here, on this trip? To learn French? To understand the culture?
He finally gets so fed up with it that he stops going with them after school and on the weekends to go on his own adventures. His grammar is getting much better, but he still has trouble pronouncing certain words and he works hard to listen to the people speak, let the sounds wash over him again and again.
It feels great and absolutely liberating to be on his own. He loves being able to decide that today, he will go to that museum and he can take the Métro and just GO. He snaps photos everywhere, organizing them each night and carefully typing up details with date, time, and location.
On Tuesday, his teachers tell them during lunch break that they will be going to Paris for a few days. He brightens up immediately, wondering if they'll be able to see the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre, Montmartre, and of course, the Seine. Later that day, they're given an itinerary with everything Changmin wanted to visit, including a few others.
When he checks his e-mail that night, his mother tells him that his father is going to Paris in a few days. She mentions that Jiyeon misses him and hopes that his studies are going well.
'Your father wants to know if your schedule lets you have dinner out. I think he has some grand design to take you to a fancy restaurant in the city.'
Changmin almost shouts out loud in glee before remembering where he is. A trip and dinner to the grand city. It's going to be perfect.
---
He can't believe how many photographs he's taken and he has to open up another account online to upload the new batch. The hustle and bustle of people, the smells from the cafes, the alleyways of cobblestone streets fill his senses and he wonders how to capture all of it with simply a camera and a notebook. He hears someone singing 'Aux Champs-Élysées, aux Champs-Élysées' and the phrase sticks in his head, repeating itself during the day.
Changmin calls his father to let him know Sunday is open and his father decides on La Tour d'Argent. Changmin's eyes widen when he investigates the restaurant online, and he suggests that maybe lunch would be better? He knows his father doesn't mind the occasional extravagance, but even for food, Changmin doesn't feel quite right.
When they arrive at the 'Silver Tower,' Changmin feels like he's stepped into some extravagant, decadent fantasy. They're seated with an incredible view of the city, where Changmin can see Notre Dame, the Île de la Cité, and even the Eiffel Tower.
There's a slight awkward moment when asked if they are Japanese or need Japanese translation. Changmin says they're Korean, which causes some sort of shuffle. He's not sure what to make of it but he doesn't think back to it until their server comes, along with a guy who doesn't look much older than Changmin. His eyes are very large and there's a coldness about him. He looks Asian but his hair is bleached completely blonde, almost white, while his pupils are blue.
'He will serve as my interpreter,' their server says in French. 'We want to provide the utmost service and we pride ourselves in making our guests as comfortable as possible.'
Changmin tries to explain that he can speak French, that he even studied the menu beforehand, but the server insists and the guy coolly translates each item. Despite his dyed hair and the tattoo Changmin can see peeking from his sleeve, he has to admit that this interpreter is pretty good.
His name is Kim Jaejoong. Changmin can see he's a little awkward and some sharp glances are thrown his way when he bumps into other servers. Changmin watches, noticing that he seems to have a nervous habit of pulling at his hair or glancing at the mirror. But when their eyes meet, Changmin looks away, not quite sure what to make of this seemingly enigmatic character.
Why is he here? Why is he working at this job? How did he get the job, considering he seems more fitting at some club or bar? It makes him so curious that for once, his food becomes second in his mind.
He excuses himself to go to the restroom, noting that even here, no expense is spared. He's splashing water on his face when he hears the door open and a voice calling to him in Korean.
Of course, it's Jaejoong. Changmin looks at him, water dripping, wondering what he wants.
"You uh, around for a few days? I don't get to talk to many Koreans. I actually work downstairs. But they just pulled me up today because they wanted to show you guys that we had interpreters, even for Koreans. Funny, isn't it?" Jaejoong pauses as he quickly pushes back an errant bang out of his eye. "Anyway, yeah. I get off at like 2am, but you free Monday? I miss speaking Korean, you know? We could meet up here tomorrow, I can take you to some cool places you don't always see on the tours and things?"
Changmin turns it over in his head. It would be nice to get something different, and something about Jaejoong makes him curious, intrigued. Despite just meeting, Changmin can't help but be easily pulled in by the familiarity in a foreign country and is more adventurous than usual.
"Sure. But what about the restaurant?" Changmin asks.
"Oh, it's only open Wednesday to Sunday. Do you want to meet here like around noon? Yeah?" Jaejoong looks very excited and he finally quirks a smile, somewhat shyly. Changmin blinks at the change in demeanor.
"Yeah, okay. Um. I'll see you then," Changmin manages to respond.
"Great. You should go back soon, they're waiting for you to sit back down so they can introduce desert. Which means, I'll be there soon too," Jaejoong sighs a little. "I really don't get it. I mean, I don't mind going up, but you know, I wanted to be here to learn about food and cooking and instead I'm washing dishes. Anyway, your French is great."
Changmin surprises himself by laughing and Jaejoong joins him, though he covers his mouth, an almost dainty mannerism that doesn't seem to fit his character.
---
After an hour of walking with Jaejoong, Changmin feels like he's just met Junsu's long lost cousin. They both have a tendency to ramble and talk when they think of something and they make odd statements or weird jokes. But Jaejoong is flashier, more spontaneous, and tends to hit when Changmin gets too sarcastic. Changmin doesn't hold back and they find themselves slapping each other on the arm while exploring the sewers, wandering the Père Lachaise to find famous gravestones, and staring at all the animals on display at Deyrolle, a taxidermist shop.
Changmin learns that Jaejoong was actually adopted along with four sisters. His Korean has a bit of a dialect, something he falls into easily when he gets excited about something. They gripe about looking Korean in France and the best foods they've eaten. Jaejoong talks about his hope to eventually become a chef, that becoming a busby was just the first step into the door.
They're wandering about a park when Changmin begins to notice that there are quite a few couples walking and sitting on benches. He feels a bit self-conscious, but tries to brush it off, thinking it's only his imagination. He sneaks a glance at Jaejoong, who's become oddly quiet.
Their eyes meet. Changmin quickly looks away.
"So... when are you leaving Paris?" Jaejoong asks as they keep walking down the gravel path.
"In three days. But I have to be with my school group at 5 today and then we go back south. I'll be back in Korea at the end of the month," Changmin replies, a bit wistfully. Though he'll be glad to go home and see his family again, he's liked having this space by himself, a bit of independence, a bit of air.
Jaejoong looks at his watch and then grabs Changmin's wrist, pulling him suddenly.
"What are you doing?" Changmin exclaims, wincing at Jaejoong's strength.
"That doesn't leave us much time for us to go my favorite secret cafe. Come on!" He leads authoritatively, walking entirely too fast for a summer's day in a French park.
Changmin would protest after being forcibly dragged for twenty blocks, ducking into alleyways and finally climbing a twisty, curving metal staircase that leads them to a small, cute cafe with large windows that open out to the city.
"The look on your face tells me that it was worth it. Right? Right?" Jaejoong looks very smug and cocky.
Changmin closes his mouth. "It's nice. As far as French cafes go. Really, this the best you can do?" Changmin's fighting hard not to laugh but Jaejoong takes sarcasm even more childishly than Junsu and the faces he makes are too great to miss.
"Well, I'll just have to make it memorable then," Jaejoong declares with a huff and before Changmin can understand what he means, a soft press of lips against his startles him to stilled shock. "Well?"
Changmin knows he's bright red.
"Y-y-yah!"
Jaejoong is laughing, so hard, and he seems to forget to use his hand, letting his mouth open wide for all the world to see as sunlight reflects off his hair.
Changmin can't quite get himself to hate Jaejoong. Completely.
Maybe Paris is the city of love, as cliché as it sounds.
Boston, USA
August of 2006
Age: 18
The humid, wet heat clings to his body, his clothes until Changmin feels like he's bathing in sweat. Freshmen are all around him, hauling furniture and suitcases. He's not doing much better, trying to figure out where his dorm is in the maze of red buildings on the quad.
"Hey, you need help?" A guy comes up to him and Changmin struggles not to oggle openly at the shirtless man. "Where are you trying to go?"
Changmin looks back at the sheet of paper.
"Winthrop?"
The man nods. "Got it! Here, I'll show you. I'm Yunho Jung. Welcome! You can call me U-know too, if it makes it easier to remember my name. You know? Hahah. Anyway."
Changmin cocks his head, not quite sure if he should laugh or groan. But he brightens.
"You are Korean, yes? I am too! Changmin. Ah, Changmin Shim," Changmin says, feeling a bit awkward not saying his last name first.
"Really?" Yunho switches over to Korean. "Great! I'll definitely show you around. Though, we should speak English. No point in coming here if you just speak your own language, at least, that's what I say."
Changmin nods. He's beginning to like this Yunho character.
And he admits, his looks too.
---
Yunho takes him around campus, pointing out the best places to eat and the places to avoid studying. They end up grabbing falafel at a local cafe and wandering about the square, where Yunho treats him to Ben & Jerry's ice cream. There's lots of funky stores like Black Ink and the international bookstore. But Changmin's immediate favorite is Burdick's. The smell of rich chocolate is redolent in the air and the lemon chocolate cake tastes phenomenal.
"Central Square, Davis Square, and Porter Square are all great places to wander too. You can just walk all along Mass Ave or take the bus. You could bike, but Boston drivers, I don't know. I wouldn't trust them, hahah."
Changmin gets introduced to some of Yunho's buddies, mostly involved in sailing. Yunho tells him he should join.
"I hate to tell it to you, but you should find some club you want to join. You can't really make friends otherwise," Yunho advises.
"What about classes?" Changmin wonders.
"Dongsaeng, classmates are competition here. It's cutthroat and everyone's trying to reach the top. Better to find friends in other areas," Yunho continues.
Well, Changmin can relate to that. His high school classes were definitely competitive.
---
Changmin's roommates aren't the most sociable of people. They tend to be reserved and one of them does sports, so he's rarely in the room. The other one is an engineer, often holed up in the lab.
But Yunho's been great and he's met a lot of interesting people through him. He wasn't sure what it would be like, if he would have to study all the time, but so far, he's enjoying it, despite the cliques that are starting to form. It's nothing new really -- so long as he enjoys himself and does well, he doesn't really care. If anything, he competes with himself, and not other people.
Yunho tells him that he'll need it if he wants to be successful here. Yunho also lets him know that the first ones to crack? Are the ones that can't play hard and work hard.
Changmin wonders if he can just work hard and play... a little. He doesn't quite trust himself to not take it too far.
---
The trees are changing color and October soon rolls around. Yunho asks him if he wants to go out on the Charles and also lets him know that the Regatta, a major competition, is coming up soon.
"The river? Sailing?"
"Yeah, I feel like going out and it's nice to have another person there. Plus, you can help me," Yunho smiles.
"Ah, I see how it is. You just want my labor hyung." Changmin raises an eyebrow.
"No, that's not true, I want your company. And I thought you'd like a tour from the river," Yunho protests, though he is turning a bit red.
"Oh, my mistake. You want to go out on a date?" Changmin is feeling especially playful today; he had done quite well on a quiz and proved three students wrong in class, so he's on a roll.
"..."
"I'll take that as a yes."
---
The Boston skyline spreads across them, where the tall glass John Hancock Building and Prudential Tower peer at top. He can see the golden-domed State House and the outside concert hall of the Hatch Shell, along with the lights from Fenway Park.
They pass by MIT, the eponymous domed building coming up into their view. He can see the runners and cyclists along the Esplanade and captures some with his camera. Yunho asks him if he always carries his camera and Changmin answers yes.
"I've brought my camera with me everywhere. China, Paris, anywhere I go. And now, here," Changmin explains, carefully covering the lens with the cover. "I like being able to look back on memories. Have them marked in another way and not just in here." Changmin points to his brain.
Yunho leans back before posing in a horribly clichéd pose complete with two v-signs and a cheesy grin.
"Take one," he commands.
"I don't take photos of my friends," Changmin quietly comments. "I want them just for me, inside."
Yunho stops and puts down his hands.
"Okay. Just us then," Yunho declares. "Our secret."
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Spring of 2009
Age: 21
He'd be lying if he expected himself to partake in such a... well, time-honored classic. But Junsu's stories about Brazil made him so envious that he was determined to go. He just hadn't expected the opportunity to be during spring break.
The whole trip first came about ostensibly as an internship, but upon arriving, the directors tell him that it's been re-scheduled for later. They do set him up in a very nice location with easy access to the South Zone and the famous Copacabana beach. He does some filing in the morning and organizing, but otherwise, his afternoons and nights are completely free to roam and tour with the other interns. The sand is a lot hotter than he expects and he hurriedly puts his flip flops back on. He takes a photo of the swirling black and white sidewalk, sinuous and winding along.
They climb hundreds of steps up to see the famous Cristo Redentor statue with his arms outstretched. Changmin takes more photos, the view an amazing sight where he can capture the mountain Pão de Açúcar and just make out a cable car that carries passengers up and down. One of the interns jokes, telling him that if he takes too many pictures, he won't be living it. Changmin laughs, brushing it off. He'll enjoy plenty once he's settled down a bit.
---
Though most don't know, Changmin does drink, albeit not too often and mostly because Yunho liked having a drinking buddy.
In either case, he's currently on his fifth caiprinha and feeling a bit tipsy. The other interns are dancing, but he prefers to sit at the booth, watch the crowd, see the bodies flash in and out as the strobe lights rotate. Yunho had told him that one of his high school friends worked here, but Changmin hasn't seen anyone besides his group that could remotely pass for Korean.
The waitress hasn't come by in a while and his throat feels dry. Standing up a bit too quickly, he braces himself against the wall before slowly pushing himself through towards the bar. It helps to be taller and he tries to find a bartender that isn't too busy.
He catches the eye of a guy who looks entirely too well dressed in a black button-down shirt rolled up to the elbows and a skinny white tie. It takes a minute for Changmin to also realizes that the guy looks rather Asian. Korean, in fact.
He often isn't so bold or direct, but he blames the alcohol and immediately blurts out, "Park Yoochun?"
The bartender can't quite hear him over the blare of the music, so he shout it again rather loudly, startling some of the other bar patrons nearby.
Yoochun's eyes widen and he nods slowly, all the while staring at Changmin, as if to try and recognize him.
"Yunho's friend! College," Changmin yells, hoping the message goes through. Yoochun snaps his fingers and nods more enthusiastically. He leans over to whisper to one of the other bartenders and motions Changmin to go to the side of the bar.
Pressing against more bodies and sweat, Changmin makes it to the end where Yoochun waves him over towards the back. They walk through a skinny, dark alleyway (Changmin wondering for a moment if something terrible is going to happen, like in all those CSI episodes he's been marathoning, but he tries to assure himself that this is Yunho's friend) until a door creaks open and the night air greets them. Yoochun leaves the door propped open with a brick and he motions for them to sit on the plastic lawn chairs that have been set up.
"Hey, sorry about that. I know it gets crazy in there. But shit, you know Yunho? Really? Does he still use that stupid nickname 'U-know?' I told him he should quit it, but man, sometimes... well, you know. He gets an idea in his head and goes off. Anyway, you know me, Park Yoochun. What's your name?" Yoochun offers him a piece of gum, but Changmin declines. "Trying to not get back into smoking. Nervous habit and all."
"I'm Shim Changmin. He told me you worked here, but I wasn't sure. And yeah, he does still use it sometimes, says it helps anyone who doesn't speak Korean remember his name better. I don't really know," Changmin laughs (giggles? He fears it came out as giggles). "I was suppose, supposed to do work here. But seems like I'm more the classic spring break college student right now."
"Well, enjoy as much of it as you can. I came down here for my girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend. She models and things and I do music. But I bartend to keep up with the bills and she used to waitress." Yoochun starts to play with the piece of paper from his gum piece. "Didn't work out though. She met someone else and I've been here longer that I should be. But I like it down here. People are nice, things are relaxed, and it has nice weather."
Changmin nods in what he hopes is a sympathetic manner. He doesn't quite know what to say.
"Sorry," he mumbles, not wanting to seem completely inconsiderate.
Yoochun gives him a bitter smile. "Hey, not your fault. And Yunho's hooking me up with some business leads. I've already gotten some good reactions to some demos so hopefully, you know? Anyway. What have you done in Rio already? How's 'U-know' these days? Still chasing the girls?" Yoochun jokes.
Changmin doesn't quite not choke. "Uh. Well. He um."
Yoochun claps his hands and starts to laugh. "Wait, wait, don't tell me. He finally figured it out, right? See, I always thought to myself about it, and I was waiting for him to figure it out. He's a great guy, just not always the quickest in certain parts, if you know what I mean. I always sort of hoped... well. In either case. You his boyfriend?" Yoochun leers a bit and Changmin wants to shrink into his chair.
"Not really, no. Uh. He's confused," Changmin says, sighing a bit. One of the last days of graduation and too much partying had led to an awkward moment of discovering Yunho and another student (male) kissing rather enthusiastically. Yunho, of course, hadn't remembered when Changmin confronted him afterwards.
"Great." Yoochun shakes his head and frowns. "Well, he will get there, he knows what's right in the end."
"No," Changmin answers. "It's okay. I don't want to wait, anyway." Changmin makes his mind right then and there.
"Ah, you don't want to, is that so..." Yoochun gets up and holds out his hand. "Well, I've been eying you ever since you sat down at the booth inside. You wanna dance? I'll teach you if you don't. I'm very good."
On any other person, Changmin would proclaim that such sleazy lines of innuendo are too tacky. But Yoochun seems to drawl them out, his husky voice wrapping itself around Changmin, making him shiver.
"I'd be happy too."
---
Along with beach parties and excessive drinking, Changmin can now check off that he has indulged in sexual activities with a (semi) stranger during spring break. Or at least, that's what he concludes in panic after waking up. He's startled by a big fluffy dog licking insistently at his face in a strange bed in an unfamiliar house. He's completely undressed save for his underwear and all he can remember of last night is talking to... Yoo... Yoochun. Park Yoochun. Yunho's friend. The one with the voice. His cheeks feel hot and Changmin shakes his head to clear his thoughts.
He looks around and notices pills and a glass of water with a note. 'Take these, it'll make you feel better. And don't worry, you undressed yourself. Nothing happened. I'm sleeping on the couch.'
Changmin exhales. He grabs his t-shirt and pulls it on, before padding over to the living room.
Yoochun is tightly hugging a pillow, hair mussed and blankets askew. The scene is entirely too cute and Changmin immediately wants to hit himself for even thinking a grown man as cute. But he can't help it.
"Yoochunah, you have to drive me to the airport, you promised and--" the door suddenly opens on the other side and Changmin jaw drops.
"Jaejoong hyung?! What are you, wait, aren't you supposed to be in Paris? I don't. Ow. My brain hurts." Changmin massages his temples.
Jaejoong nervously laughs. "C-Changmin. Nice to see you. Um. Let me explain."
---
After hitting Yoochun awake and actually making him wake up with the smell of freshly brewed coffee, Jaejoong tells Changmin that he's been trying to learn new flavors and ingredients and he was on a trip through the Amazon. He had needed a place to stay so through some online ads and bulletin boards, he had found Yoochun, willing to host him for a month. Yoochun wanders off to take a shower as they catchup.
"He's a terrible cook, can only make coffee, and has the worst schedule. But he plays piano and sings like no one's business and he's even been able to sound out some of my favorite chansons," Jaejoong continues, his voice becoming very warm and gentle.
Changmin suspects. And well, with Jaejoong? He's never been afraid to be direct.
"You like him," he flatly says. Never mind the slight twinge in his heart.
"No no, he's more like my best friend though I do tell him everything and he is pretty hot, especially right after the shower, but no, it's not like that really. Maybe. I don't know," Jaejoong responds, waving his hands in denial but quite unsure himself.
"I am hot, especially after a shower," Yoochun interrupts with a cheeky expression. "But Changminah, you wound me. You really think I'd kiss you, dance with you like that if I had someone?" Yoochun takes every excuse to stand very close and have his toweled cock right in Changmin's line of sight. "Or you wanted a threesome? I'm always open for more love."
"Yoochunnie~! Stop that. He's not like that. This is Shim Changmin, proper and poised and educated. A bit of a nerd. And speaks French, like moi," Jaejoong interrupts as he motions grandly to himself.
Changmin isn't quite sure what to feel. He's confused, annoyed, aroused, and in pain.
"I think. I think I am going back to sleep. Good night," he chooses to say and he gets up, walks out, and flops back into bed.
---
If he had thought those years touring bits of Paris with Jaejoong was a constant barrage of senses, Brazil with Jaejoong AND Yoochun feels infinitely more chaotic. They have somewhat of their own little world, bits of random quirky and yet Changmin can't help but get sucked in, following them through the rabbit's hole into their veritable Wonderland. They pass by a band dressed all in white, trumpets blaring loudly while they explore the vendor shops, see the various pieces of folk art and intricate sand bottles with complicated landscapes. Changmin buys a few for his family and Yunho and Junsu.
But the best moments are at night, when they sit outside, talking, looking at the stars and hearing the lapping ocean waves. He tells them about Korea, about Seoul, talks to them about their homeland, recounts his college stories and what the US is like. Changmin finds himself talking about Yunho, meeting him that first day and about Junsu, his childhood friend who he still keeps in touch with, even though they've only met a few times in Seoul. He weaves each story with a weft detail here and a warp detail there, creating an intricate tapestry.
"Where will you go next?" Yoochun asks, caught up in Changmin's dreamscape and storytelling.
"I don't know. Maybe Prague. I've always wanted to go there," Changmin muses.
"You know, it's funny. You've met a Korean in a different country each time, you know? It must be fate, or something. Don't you think?" Jaejoong leans closer, expression a bit serious. "I mean, what are the chances that you meet a Korean and you become friends with them?"
Changmin nods. He's wondered it himself. Was some other force at work, making him connect this path in life? He's not sure.
"It's destiny, Changminah. We're fated to meet and fall in loooooove," Yoochun proclaims, in an overly dramatic voice, even singing the last word, "love."
"Hey! Don't forget me," Jaejoong pouts.
"An orgyyyyy?" Yoochun continues to sing and Changmin has to laugh at that.
Love. Maybe.
Can love be split?
Or shared?
Prague, Czech Republic
February of 2012
Age: almost 25
They all tell him, of course, that Prague is entirely too cold to go in the winter. He doesn't really care -- he's always tried to do what he wants and be independent. In either case, he needed a break from his job and why not treat this as an early birthday present?
He carefully plans not to travel on Valentine's Day, knowing the sight of couples reuniting would make him feel depressed and a bit bitter. Instead, he travels on the 15th and arrives at night to check-in at his hotel late.
He checks his e-mail out of habit, where Jaejoong has already sent him ten messages asking him if he's arrived, if he's safe, if he's bundled up. There's a very structured, formal letter from Yunho, while Junsu's is quick and to the point.
Yoochun hasn't sent him anything but a sudden knock on the door startles him and a slip of paper is slid under the door. It's a fax, complete with a big picture of cake and candles, and Changmin has to chuckle. Yoochun hasn't always been a fan of the electronic age.
They had all tried to set up tickets to meet him there, but one by one, each had told him that something unexpected had come up.
Changmin was disappointed, but that hadn’t stopped him. He was going to Prague. No matter what.
He's tired and he can't wait to explore tomorrow, the small streets and artisan workshops and bookstores. Changmin closes his eyes.
---
Changmin's already gone to the castle and explored parts of Old Town. He decides to go to Zizkov today, being told that there are a large number of interesting places to drink and eat. It's been two days since he arrived and he feels that out of all the places he's been to, Prague seems to fit him best. The age and the somewhat cloaked, mysterious ambiance appeals to him.
He finds a bar that's quiet, tucked away from the larger streets. It has large windows like the cafe Jaejoong took him, and there's a well-stocked bar that reminds him of Yoochun's club in Brazil. The outside has an interesting facade, red brick, making him think of Boston, while some ornate decorations on the walls are like the carvings he saw in Shanghai.
It's getting close to midnight and he brings out the small cake he had bought for himself earlier. He's not lonely, not really, when he knows they're out there, thinking of him.
A bell tolls in the background and he softly starts to sing happy birthday to himself. The bartender looks at him curiously but just shakes his head, continuing to wipe glasses dry.
Everything goes dark in front of him and he groans. But the lights suddenly flare up and Yoochun's there, behind the bar, calmly drying glasses right in front of Changmin's eyes.
"Changminah! Do you know how fast you walk? I can't believe you made me come here, it's so cold," Junsu whines and Changmin whips around to see Jaejoong and Yunho there too.
"Dongsaeng, we're sorry. But we wanted to surprise you. Jaejoong even made a cake! Look," Yunho says, as he points to a rather architecturally unstable looking confection of dark chocolate and strawberries.
"Happy Birthday, Changminnie. Here, someone, grab the lighter in my back pocket," Jaejoong commands and Junsu hesitatingly reaches out. "Come on, it's not like you're having sex with me."
Junsu turns bright red and scowls, grabbing the lighter a bit too aggressively.
"Don't--"
But the momentum makes Jaejoong lose his balance and the cake goes crashing right into Yunho's face.
"do that," Yunho finishes with a sigh. Jaejoong looks absolutely horrified while Junsu is trying to hide behind Changmin.
But Yoochun starts to chuckle, then laugh, the sound echoing loud in the room.
Changmin can't help but join and soon, all of them are laughing, almost until they're crying.
He's found it. Here. With the ones he loves.