Shooting Range (8/?)
Title: Shooting Range (8/?)
Author: azuredamsel
Pairing: House/Cameron
Rating: R.
Warnings: AU post-Hunting (2.07).
Summary: There's no denying the awkwardness of the moment. What if Cameron had called House instead of Chase in Hunting? An alternate universe. A work in progress. Earlier parts (and an FAQ!) can be found here.
Disclaimer: I like watching House and knowing that someone else wrote it.
Notes: I am bad at writing aftermaths. This is an aftermath chapter. I'm sorry if it's awful, but I hope that, magically, you enjoy it anyway. ♥
slowly i opened the window a
most tinyness,the moon(with white wig
and polished buttons)would take you away
--and all the clocks would run down the next day.
--e.e. cummings
By the time House disconnects his answering machine, he has seven messages from Cuddy, and five from Wilson. (None from Cameron. But she's only ever called his cell. And she was high.)
It's early Sunday afternoon and he's tired of hearing the phone ring. He leaves it off the hook. He contemplates turning off his cell phone, but never quite gets around to it.
He watches the O.C. until he falls asleep. He wakes up when he starts dreaming of a woman who looks like Cameron but doesn't answer unless he calls her "Stacy". He palms a Vicodin.
He catches himself thinking of her as "Allison" instead of "Cameron," then makes himself repeat "Cameron" in his head until it no longer sounds like a word. It's almost like a song, though, three syllables repeating ad nauseum. So he stops.
Then he plays the piano (Liszt), palms a Vicodin, and goes to bed.
.
Cuddy pages the second he steps onto hospital grounds. He considers ignoring her. But it's not worth the battle that's sure to ensue, and he really doesn't want to deal with any more clinic hours, or the loss of his long distance phone calls. He's not a martyr.
But he takes his time getting to Cuddy's office. He hasn't tried the cafeteria coffee in a while. (It's better in Diagnostics.) He trips the new Oncology nurse with his cane. (He keeps telling Wilson to add "Dealing with Dr. House" to their job description.)
It's not so much that he minds dealing with Cuddy. More that he's not sure what to say about Cameron. Part of him wants to be smug: "Did you get any on Saturday, because I sure did." But he mostly doesn't want to mention it at all. Cuddy will either be condescending ("I told you she was good for you; you should have gone for her months ago.") or horrified ("You're her boss!")
And how, exactly, would he phrase it? He's not sure there's a remark clever enough.
Given the glare Cuddy gives him when he walks into her office, he has a sinking feeling she's going to be pissy about the party. May as well get it over with.
"So. Would you mind telling me why you made sure everyone at the Wilsons' party saw you kissing Cameron?"
She always gets straight to the point, that one.
"Revenge."
"Revenge? On -- on who?" Cuddy splutters, pinching the bridge of her nose. "God, House."
"A past acquaintance. She hadn't been too crazy about the cane. I didn't think she would be there."
"So you sexually harassed an employee. To get revenge. You're so lucky that Foreman's technically the boss until the day after tomorrow." Cuddy gets up from her desk and crosses her arms. He's tempted to make a comment on her cleavage, but it wouldn't help his case much.
"Cameron won't sue for sexual harassment." He taps his cane against his shoe. (Nervous habit.) She doesn't notice.
"Maybe she should." Cuddy starts pacing. If this were anyone else, he might consider asking if there was something wrong. But not Cuddy.
"Wow, that's a witty comeback. Listen, can I go? I can get those clinic hours done now. Great way to start the week, don't you think?" He's already halfway to the door. This confrontation wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Maybe Cuddy did get some this weekend.
"I want you to give Cameron two weeks paid vacation." Maybe she didn't.
House stops, incredulous. "Two weeks?! My team doesn't take vacations. Because they need to be ready to save lives at any moment. Like Spiderman."
"Well, you and the Spidey-boys should be fine for two weeks. Vacation was in her contract, which I wrote. Because, as I recall, you had to play your Gameboy or something the week that you hired her. She hasn't used any of it, perhaps because of the same Gameboy." Cuddy hasn't uncrossed her arms yet.
"So, aside from chastising me about the use of my spare time, you're forcing me to force her on vacation?" This is too weird.
"That, or you're going to have to do triple clinic hours for the next year." She always makes it clear who the boss is. "It's just two weeks."
"Vacation it is, then." He opens the door, and can't help but call back to her. "When someone dies, though, remember to tell your lawyer about this conversation. Can I be your boss if you get suspended?"
.
Cameron's making coffee when House finally gets to the Diagnostics office. She doesn't turn around when he walks in.
She doesn't know what to say. Not that he knows much better, but at least Cuddy gave him a few lines to say.
"Doctor Cameron, make me a cup of coffee and meet me in my office." Maybe the Doctor Cameron part is a little cruel, but Foreman's the boss for two more days. He'd rather not make it two more months. Still, he thinks he sees her wince.
It shouldn't bother him.
When she does enter his office, red mug in hand, he's halfway through the first level of Kirby's Dreamland. He debates whether or not to look up at her. She's probably wearing a vest and an earnest expression. But he doesn't know if she's smiling.
So he looks up. Her lips are curled up at the corners. (If he hadn't looked for it, he'd have missed it.) But it's not quite a smug smile, not even hopeful. It's almost accepting. (She knows he won't hold her hand at work. It doesn't take a genius for that.)
"Doctor House, here's your coffee." She hands him the red mug. Their fingers brush together, and he watches as a blush creeps up her cheeks. (It's not as though she can control it.)
He takes a sip, wincing as the hot liquid burns his tongue. "Thanks."
She shifts her weight from one leg to the other. There's no denying the awkwardness of the moment.
"House, I--" But he interrupts her before she can make it more awkward.
"Cuddy wants you to take two weeks paid vacation." This morning, so far, has been about getting things over with as quickly as possible. "She's worried you'll sue for sexual harassment. Apparently this is her tricky little way of buying you off."
It's easiest not to bring himself into this.
Cameron raises an eyebrow. "You mean, she's bribing me. But I wouldn't-- I mean, it's..."
"You're taking the vacation."
"But--"
"We all know you wouldn't sue me, okay? You don't have to make it obvious. Look at it this way, you can go see more of that world you're so insistent on saving. Forget about the boss you can't fix."
She frowns. He's hit a nerve. (He's not off his game yet.) He watches as her eyes go steely, and he wonders how, exactly, he ever called her "Allison". (He won't think about the way his name sounded when she said it. He won't think about her lips.)
"So, Doctor House, when does my vacation start?"
"Tomorrow. Apparently I can force you on vacation with Foreman as my boss."
"What are you going to tell Foreman?" He can tell she blurts it out before she can really think about it.
"That you found out you had HIV and I gave you vacation to make you feel better."
She rolls her eyes, but he can tell that her face is a little pale. "How kind."
"Well, you know me. You're taking that test the minute you get back, by the way."
"There's a ninety-nine percent chance I don't have HIV!"
"Which is all very well and good. But." He raises an eyebrow, taking a sudden interest in her shoes. It's easiest not to bring Saturday night into this. He doesn't want to see her face when she figures out what he means.
"Oh." She turns to leave. (She's so used to being a martyr.)
"Oh, and Cameron? If you go visit your mother I'm going to fire you. Take a real vacation."
She doesn't slam the door. (A good sign.)
.
The clinic is just as boring as usual. House's second patient is a college student, who, between describing her symptoms (flu), keeps bitching about missing a trip to Europe with some other college brats.
"And they were, like, all over Paris and climbing up the Eiffel tower while I was reading Tolstoy," she concludes, smacking her Orbit gum, as House writes her a prescription. She hasn't even asked what the diagnosis is.
"Bummer."
"I know! I mean, a girl has to go to Paris once, you know?"
"I know! Killer shoes." Finally the girl catches on to the sarcasm in his voice. Before she can open her mouth, he's out the door.
She never does get around to asking what it is she has, or what the prescription is for.
But maybe that's good. She just gave him an idea that Cuddy won't approve of at all.
.
It's way too easy to get into Cameron's purse when she's off doing clinic hours. She's left it right next to the laptop. As if she trusts the Diagnostics department. (Maybe she knows no bets are on at present. She shouldn't trust him anyway.)
And she should have learned by now to hide her credit card. Or lock her purse up, or something, because it's also way too easy to steal it and book her a round trip flight to Paris.
Cameron's the kind of person who wanted to go to Paris when she was twelve, but never quite got around to studying abroad.
He doesn't think about Dead Husband Daniel. Or about Stacy, who always wanted to go to Paris. (He never quite got around to taking her. But it's not like he's taking Cameron.)
House replaces her purse and sets the tickets on top of it. There's no need for a note. That would be sappy, anyway.
He leaves the office two hours early. After all, he just did a good deed. Best to leave before he turns into a regular do-gooder. (He turns his cell phone off.)
When he gets back to his apartment, he realizes that the piano won't clear his mind. And the Vicodin's never been enough to get him high.
Instead, he drinks scotch until he forgets about "Allison" in Paris, moaning his name. Until he falls asleep.
Author: azuredamsel
Pairing: House/Cameron
Rating: R.
Warnings: AU post-Hunting (2.07).
Summary: There's no denying the awkwardness of the moment. What if Cameron had called House instead of Chase in Hunting? An alternate universe. A work in progress. Earlier parts (and an FAQ!) can be found here.
Disclaimer: I like watching House and knowing that someone else wrote it.
Notes: I am bad at writing aftermaths. This is an aftermath chapter. I'm sorry if it's awful, but I hope that, magically, you enjoy it anyway. ♥
slowly i opened the window a
most tinyness,the moon(with white wig
and polished buttons)would take you away
--and all the clocks would run down the next day.
--e.e. cummings
By the time House disconnects his answering machine, he has seven messages from Cuddy, and five from Wilson. (None from Cameron. But she's only ever called his cell. And she was high.)
It's early Sunday afternoon and he's tired of hearing the phone ring. He leaves it off the hook. He contemplates turning off his cell phone, but never quite gets around to it.
He watches the O.C. until he falls asleep. He wakes up when he starts dreaming of a woman who looks like Cameron but doesn't answer unless he calls her "Stacy". He palms a Vicodin.
He catches himself thinking of her as "Allison" instead of "Cameron," then makes himself repeat "Cameron" in his head until it no longer sounds like a word. It's almost like a song, though, three syllables repeating ad nauseum. So he stops.
Then he plays the piano (Liszt), palms a Vicodin, and goes to bed.
.
Cuddy pages the second he steps onto hospital grounds. He considers ignoring her. But it's not worth the battle that's sure to ensue, and he really doesn't want to deal with any more clinic hours, or the loss of his long distance phone calls. He's not a martyr.
But he takes his time getting to Cuddy's office. He hasn't tried the cafeteria coffee in a while. (It's better in Diagnostics.) He trips the new Oncology nurse with his cane. (He keeps telling Wilson to add "Dealing with Dr. House" to their job description.)
It's not so much that he minds dealing with Cuddy. More that he's not sure what to say about Cameron. Part of him wants to be smug: "Did you get any on Saturday, because I sure did." But he mostly doesn't want to mention it at all. Cuddy will either be condescending ("I told you she was good for you; you should have gone for her months ago.") or horrified ("You're her boss!")
And how, exactly, would he phrase it? He's not sure there's a remark clever enough.
Given the glare Cuddy gives him when he walks into her office, he has a sinking feeling she's going to be pissy about the party. May as well get it over with.
"So. Would you mind telling me why you made sure everyone at the Wilsons' party saw you kissing Cameron?"
She always gets straight to the point, that one.
"Revenge."
"Revenge? On -- on who?" Cuddy splutters, pinching the bridge of her nose. "God, House."
"A past acquaintance. She hadn't been too crazy about the cane. I didn't think she would be there."
"So you sexually harassed an employee. To get revenge. You're so lucky that Foreman's technically the boss until the day after tomorrow." Cuddy gets up from her desk and crosses her arms. He's tempted to make a comment on her cleavage, but it wouldn't help his case much.
"Cameron won't sue for sexual harassment." He taps his cane against his shoe. (Nervous habit.) She doesn't notice.
"Maybe she should." Cuddy starts pacing. If this were anyone else, he might consider asking if there was something wrong. But not Cuddy.
"Wow, that's a witty comeback. Listen, can I go? I can get those clinic hours done now. Great way to start the week, don't you think?" He's already halfway to the door. This confrontation wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Maybe Cuddy did get some this weekend.
"I want you to give Cameron two weeks paid vacation." Maybe she didn't.
House stops, incredulous. "Two weeks?! My team doesn't take vacations. Because they need to be ready to save lives at any moment. Like Spiderman."
"Well, you and the Spidey-boys should be fine for two weeks. Vacation was in her contract, which I wrote. Because, as I recall, you had to play your Gameboy or something the week that you hired her. She hasn't used any of it, perhaps because of the same Gameboy." Cuddy hasn't uncrossed her arms yet.
"So, aside from chastising me about the use of my spare time, you're forcing me to force her on vacation?" This is too weird.
"That, or you're going to have to do triple clinic hours for the next year." She always makes it clear who the boss is. "It's just two weeks."
"Vacation it is, then." He opens the door, and can't help but call back to her. "When someone dies, though, remember to tell your lawyer about this conversation. Can I be your boss if you get suspended?"
.
Cameron's making coffee when House finally gets to the Diagnostics office. She doesn't turn around when he walks in.
She doesn't know what to say. Not that he knows much better, but at least Cuddy gave him a few lines to say.
"Doctor Cameron, make me a cup of coffee and meet me in my office." Maybe the Doctor Cameron part is a little cruel, but Foreman's the boss for two more days. He'd rather not make it two more months. Still, he thinks he sees her wince.
It shouldn't bother him.
When she does enter his office, red mug in hand, he's halfway through the first level of Kirby's Dreamland. He debates whether or not to look up at her. She's probably wearing a vest and an earnest expression. But he doesn't know if she's smiling.
So he looks up. Her lips are curled up at the corners. (If he hadn't looked for it, he'd have missed it.) But it's not quite a smug smile, not even hopeful. It's almost accepting. (She knows he won't hold her hand at work. It doesn't take a genius for that.)
"Doctor House, here's your coffee." She hands him the red mug. Their fingers brush together, and he watches as a blush creeps up her cheeks. (It's not as though she can control it.)
He takes a sip, wincing as the hot liquid burns his tongue. "Thanks."
She shifts her weight from one leg to the other. There's no denying the awkwardness of the moment.
"House, I--" But he interrupts her before she can make it more awkward.
"Cuddy wants you to take two weeks paid vacation." This morning, so far, has been about getting things over with as quickly as possible. "She's worried you'll sue for sexual harassment. Apparently this is her tricky little way of buying you off."
It's easiest not to bring himself into this.
Cameron raises an eyebrow. "You mean, she's bribing me. But I wouldn't-- I mean, it's..."
"You're taking the vacation."
"But--"
"We all know you wouldn't sue me, okay? You don't have to make it obvious. Look at it this way, you can go see more of that world you're so insistent on saving. Forget about the boss you can't fix."
She frowns. He's hit a nerve. (He's not off his game yet.) He watches as her eyes go steely, and he wonders how, exactly, he ever called her "Allison". (He won't think about the way his name sounded when she said it. He won't think about her lips.)
"So, Doctor House, when does my vacation start?"
"Tomorrow. Apparently I can force you on vacation with Foreman as my boss."
"What are you going to tell Foreman?" He can tell she blurts it out before she can really think about it.
"That you found out you had HIV and I gave you vacation to make you feel better."
She rolls her eyes, but he can tell that her face is a little pale. "How kind."
"Well, you know me. You're taking that test the minute you get back, by the way."
"There's a ninety-nine percent chance I don't have HIV!"
"Which is all very well and good. But." He raises an eyebrow, taking a sudden interest in her shoes. It's easiest not to bring Saturday night into this. He doesn't want to see her face when she figures out what he means.
"Oh." She turns to leave. (She's so used to being a martyr.)
"Oh, and Cameron? If you go visit your mother I'm going to fire you. Take a real vacation."
She doesn't slam the door. (A good sign.)
.
The clinic is just as boring as usual. House's second patient is a college student, who, between describing her symptoms (flu), keeps bitching about missing a trip to Europe with some other college brats.
"And they were, like, all over Paris and climbing up the Eiffel tower while I was reading Tolstoy," she concludes, smacking her Orbit gum, as House writes her a prescription. She hasn't even asked what the diagnosis is.
"Bummer."
"I know! I mean, a girl has to go to Paris once, you know?"
"I know! Killer shoes." Finally the girl catches on to the sarcasm in his voice. Before she can open her mouth, he's out the door.
She never does get around to asking what it is she has, or what the prescription is for.
But maybe that's good. She just gave him an idea that Cuddy won't approve of at all.
.
It's way too easy to get into Cameron's purse when she's off doing clinic hours. She's left it right next to the laptop. As if she trusts the Diagnostics department. (Maybe she knows no bets are on at present. She shouldn't trust him anyway.)
And she should have learned by now to hide her credit card. Or lock her purse up, or something, because it's also way too easy to steal it and book her a round trip flight to Paris.
Cameron's the kind of person who wanted to go to Paris when she was twelve, but never quite got around to studying abroad.
He doesn't think about Dead Husband Daniel. Or about Stacy, who always wanted to go to Paris. (He never quite got around to taking her. But it's not like he's taking Cameron.)
House replaces her purse and sets the tickets on top of it. There's no need for a note. That would be sappy, anyway.
He leaves the office two hours early. After all, he just did a good deed. Best to leave before he turns into a regular do-gooder. (He turns his cell phone off.)
When he gets back to his apartment, he realizes that the piano won't clear his mind. And the Vicodin's never been enough to get him high.
Instead, he drinks scotch until he forgets about "Allison" in Paris, moaning his name. Until he falls asleep.