Looking forward to the end of this year
So many things have happened.
Truly, everything really started in May of last year.
It's been a really long, difficult 18 months. The only positive I see is that along the way I ended up going through months of seeing a counselor. I still take Xanax before I go to work, and it helps.
Mom's been in the hospital nearly 3 weeks. They operated on her spine Thursday. From her T9 down to her T12, the vertebrae were basically destroyed. Compression fractures, and her doctors said one of the vertebrae had a sharp edge that potentially could sever her spinal cord. If only she hadn't gone through nearly 3 months of extremely severe back pain before someone finally took action. I think the damage resulted from a combination of the cancer treatments, her osteoporosis, not being able to have the infusions for her osteoporosis throughout her cancer treatments, and a bad fall that she had.
The neurosurgeon said the surgery went better than he expected; he and her oncologist had reservations I think, but it became a quality of life issue. We still don't know how long she'll be in the hospital. She's still having a lot of pain; actually right now she says it's worse than it was, but she does have pain medication. Because of her previous fractures, the surgery was more extensive than expected.
On the work front, the store has been robbed twice in the past few months, once in the pharmacy and once the front register, both by armed individuals. A third attempt was made, though it came in between and was actually the second. They (not caught and probably won't be - security footage wasn't much use) tried to break in through the pharmacy drive thru window. Smashed a huge hole in the first layer of glass, but apparently fled when the alarms went off and the lights came on. Still shut our drive through down for 3 weeks, and the complaints, and the threats of moving prescription business to competitors.
I still have days when I think I'd have been better off turning down the pharmacy manager position. I still think I'm a better staff pharmacist; I don't feel I always do as good as I should in fulfilling my management responsibilities. I've also had back, shoulder and neck surgeries since March 2015. Been manager for 4 years this month, and I wish I could pass it on to someone younger and in better health. It's an isolating position too; I have no friends among my staff, and I find myself trying to make peace between my pharmacy staff and the store manager.
This is the time of year when my annual bonus is due. It arrives later every year, but I don't fret over it as much as the other bonus-eligible person in the store: the aforementioned manager. I see it this way: a bonus is a bonus, and it will be good whenever I get it. He talks about his bonus much too often in front of my staff. Honestly, it's creating resentment and overall ill will. They don't like being told they need to do better because his bonus will be smaller if they don't. The total opposite of motivation.
Customer satisfaction surveys and the score calculated based on them. That's the bottom line, that's how our performance as a pharmacy and as a store overall is evaluated. Never mind that we get low scores because it took too long for the drive through to be re-opened, and because there's a line at 5:30, and because we ask customers to complete the survey, and because the new automated phone system isn't easy to use, and so on. The reasons don't matter, only the numbers. Most, actually all, of those things are outside our control. Yet, the store manager and I could lose our jobs if the scores don't improve.
Honestly, I don't know how I don't snap some days. I can work as hard as humanly possible, still be an hour behind practically as soon as we open, and I have people coming to me with additional administrative tasks I have to do. I practically never leave on time, I always arrive between 15 and 45 minutes early, and I am strictly salaried. Thst doesn't include time I spend on work at home, or the times I come in on my day off.
The reason I even mentioned my bonus: it may allow me to take some unpaid leave before the end of the year, as my surgeries this year and taking a couple of days off to spend with Mom at the hospital have practically exhausted my paid time off. That's what I'm holding onto right now.
Truly, everything really started in May of last year.
It's been a really long, difficult 18 months. The only positive I see is that along the way I ended up going through months of seeing a counselor. I still take Xanax before I go to work, and it helps.
Mom's been in the hospital nearly 3 weeks. They operated on her spine Thursday. From her T9 down to her T12, the vertebrae were basically destroyed. Compression fractures, and her doctors said one of the vertebrae had a sharp edge that potentially could sever her spinal cord. If only she hadn't gone through nearly 3 months of extremely severe back pain before someone finally took action. I think the damage resulted from a combination of the cancer treatments, her osteoporosis, not being able to have the infusions for her osteoporosis throughout her cancer treatments, and a bad fall that she had.
The neurosurgeon said the surgery went better than he expected; he and her oncologist had reservations I think, but it became a quality of life issue. We still don't know how long she'll be in the hospital. She's still having a lot of pain; actually right now she says it's worse than it was, but she does have pain medication. Because of her previous fractures, the surgery was more extensive than expected.
On the work front, the store has been robbed twice in the past few months, once in the pharmacy and once the front register, both by armed individuals. A third attempt was made, though it came in between and was actually the second. They (not caught and probably won't be - security footage wasn't much use) tried to break in through the pharmacy drive thru window. Smashed a huge hole in the first layer of glass, but apparently fled when the alarms went off and the lights came on. Still shut our drive through down for 3 weeks, and the complaints, and the threats of moving prescription business to competitors.
I still have days when I think I'd have been better off turning down the pharmacy manager position. I still think I'm a better staff pharmacist; I don't feel I always do as good as I should in fulfilling my management responsibilities. I've also had back, shoulder and neck surgeries since March 2015. Been manager for 4 years this month, and I wish I could pass it on to someone younger and in better health. It's an isolating position too; I have no friends among my staff, and I find myself trying to make peace between my pharmacy staff and the store manager.
This is the time of year when my annual bonus is due. It arrives later every year, but I don't fret over it as much as the other bonus-eligible person in the store: the aforementioned manager. I see it this way: a bonus is a bonus, and it will be good whenever I get it. He talks about his bonus much too often in front of my staff. Honestly, it's creating resentment and overall ill will. They don't like being told they need to do better because his bonus will be smaller if they don't. The total opposite of motivation.
Customer satisfaction surveys and the score calculated based on them. That's the bottom line, that's how our performance as a pharmacy and as a store overall is evaluated. Never mind that we get low scores because it took too long for the drive through to be re-opened, and because there's a line at 5:30, and because we ask customers to complete the survey, and because the new automated phone system isn't easy to use, and so on. The reasons don't matter, only the numbers. Most, actually all, of those things are outside our control. Yet, the store manager and I could lose our jobs if the scores don't improve.
Honestly, I don't know how I don't snap some days. I can work as hard as humanly possible, still be an hour behind practically as soon as we open, and I have people coming to me with additional administrative tasks I have to do. I practically never leave on time, I always arrive between 15 and 45 minutes early, and I am strictly salaried. Thst doesn't include time I spend on work at home, or the times I come in on my day off.
The reason I even mentioned my bonus: it may allow me to take some unpaid leave before the end of the year, as my surgeries this year and taking a couple of days off to spend with Mom at the hospital have practically exhausted my paid time off. That's what I'm holding onto right now.