Earthbound :: The Green Grass of Winters (Part 2)
It was later the next day, after class. Jeff and Tony were in their room. Jeff, at least, was organizing a project for a class they didn't share, stacking papers on a desk and making sure they were in order. Taking a sip from a soda can through a straw, he mulled over details in his mind, flipping papers. "Tony, could you get me a book from my bag?"
"Mm... sure." Tony nodded. Tony was over what happened last night, shaking it off as an inconsequential incident. Jeff didn't seem to bring it up, so it didn't matter to him either. He knelt down by Jeff's bag, picking through textbooks until he found one with a subject he wasn't familiar with. "Is it this one?"
Jeff glanced over his shoulder, pushing up his glasses. He always knew. "Yeah, that's it. Thanks." He turned so as to retrieve it from him when he'd stand, leaving the papers at his desk be for a moment. Jeff opened it and leafed through it, flipping to a bookmarked page. Biting his lip, he wondered like he always did if it was pushing it to ask again; it was his binder that apparently had the page he was looking for. He thought he'd put it here...
"Sorry, could you grab that black binder, too?" The genius set the book down, scratching the back of his neck.
"Oh! Urm... right. Is there anything else you'd like?"
"That's it." That Tony. He didn't realize that he'd stepped a little closer this time, mind more focused on his work than where his feet were going.
"Here Jeff!" Tony beamed, holding the black binder like it were a diploma. Jeff blinked when the boy's body backed bluntly against his, his hands indeed finding the book, but not quite the way he had in mind. Awkwardly, his fingers closed around it like the situation was normal, Tony's rear rubbing against his crotch.
"Um, thanks, Tony."
Jumping like a cat on hot iron, his roommate’s face was just as red as he turned and nodded. "Mm-! Right! S-sorry..."
A faint blush tickled Jeff's cheeks as they stood like that, unable to move. Tony's startling certainly didn't help to keep the area he pressed against calm. "It's okay."
W-What was that!? Tony covered his mouth, like he thought it would help hide his embarrassment. With a deep breath, the boy checked the fridge for another soda. Surely Jeff would almost be done with his by now.
Jeff stood for a moment, watching Tony's back before he turned to look over his work again. He wasn't actually looking at it, though. Goawaygoawaygoaway, he pleaded to his body, taking a sip of-air, apparently! Just great!
Closing the door, Tony took a can of what he knew was Jeff's favorite. Shaking it like a rattle, it would be an extra bonus to have it opened for him. One had to be careful opening those... even if it did explode, it was better his eye than Jeff's.
Jeff's body wasn't listening. He hoped that Tony would stay on the other side of the room long enough for his half-hard-on to die down, continuing to suck on tasteless air as his eyes traced a diagram uselessly.
"Jeff! I've got another soda if you want!"
Jeff's eyes widened, his glasses nearly falling off. D... damn! Tony was too nice for his own good. He didn't like to make his favours go to waste... Tony would always feel unrightfully guilty. "Oh, thanks." His fingers gripped the edge of the desk anxiously.
"Here." Tony smiled, thumb on the handle. "It's nothing, I-" He gasped, realizing he forgotten he already shaken the can... but it was too late. The spray went all over his chin and worse-over Jeff! His shirt and pants were soaked and-! Oh, this is all my fault!
Jeff's hands rose at the spray, but it didn't help much, most of it landing on his pants and the ends of his shirt and jacket. The cool chill made him flush, backing into the bed in surprise. He caught himself with his hands and sat down, an exasperated look on his face. How much worse could things get?
"Jeff! Oh god, Jeff I'm so sorry h-hold on a minute I-I'll clean it up!" Tony nabbed paper towels and napkins with the speed of an idealized housewife, swiping across the desks and Jeff's books (though for the most part, they were merely sprinkled), then clutching Jeff's jacket as he dabbed his shirt and pants. "I'm so sorry I-!"
"I-it's alright!" He couldn't be mad at Tony, no matter how unfortunate the circumstances were; both things had been accidents. Jeff's eyes widened as Tony came up to him with the paper towels, reddening at his dabbing. "I-I can do it…" He stammered in protest.
"It's okay! I'll clean it!" Tony's pleas fell from murmurs into mere whispers. His heart crawled up his throat, proving a difficult lump to swallow. Tony was still unsure of what to do. "Um..." Should he say something? Nono, it'll make it worse-!
"Tony." It was so hard to fight him-his will was like iron. Sighing, Jeff grasped some of his blanket between his fingers, watching Tony helplessly as he grew harder at the pressure against his lap. What was he supposed to do? Hurt Tony's feelings? But...
Jeff needed to change clothes. Oh, why hadn't he thought of pulling an extra pair of pants from the drawers? Tony hung his head in guilt-realizing Jeff was a lot closer than he realized. His top lip trailing cloth, he was surprised to find the zipper had already half undone itself. Unconsciously tugging down Jeff's pants, Tony could hear the heartbeat banging in his head, discovering the bulge beneath white cloth...
Jeff looked down in shock, realizing what Tony was doing a little slow, even if it was probably... definitely innocent, being Tony. Blushing, whatever he was going to say caught in his throat; breath hitching unsteady at his obvious exposure. He wanted to move, push Tony away and get a pair of pants...
Jeff's underwear was wet, so that needed to go too... he gasped and closed his eyes, not wanting to-too late. Tony bit his lip, his breath growing shakier. Godohgodohgod. Tony what are you doing stop that right now. What made matters worse was he liked what he's seeing. A churn of guilt twisted a knot in Tony's stomach, which in a way made him crave more.
At this point, Jeff was a bit in shock, staring as if this was some weird dream-he never would've expected Tony to do something like that. Ever. Not even in his wildest dreams. Swallowing hard, his face reddened as he felt himself twitch, trying to bite back a pang of arousal that he didn't understand.
He couldn't look at Jeff. He wouldn't dare. He bent his head lower and... his lips touched him. Barely containing a frightened squeak, Tony plunged forward, dropping the napkins as his hands scrambled to hold on. An odd feeling tingled in his shoulders... Tony whimpered, finding it hard to breathe. Reluctantly pulling back, he didn't withdraw completely... closing around the tip, Tony took a deep breath and sucked.
Jeff's heart jumped into his throat at the touch, frozen in shock as his brain struggled to wrap around what had happened. Before he could come to terms with that, everything was suddenly hot and wet and o-oh god what was happening? Head drooping, he looked down at Tony with his lips around him, clenching his eyes with a heavy breath at the pressure.
His hands explored him, taking the time to learn every bump and ridge... he found himself sucking more enthusiastically, letting his tongue reach out and stroke. Oh, it felt so good! Coiling wet muscle around the head, Tony half hummed, half moaned in joy and arousal. The tip of his tongue tracing the slit, a metallic tinge left a flavor in his mouth and god... it made him push deeper, taking more in his mouth.
Gasping, Jeff's mind was lost, senses taken over by the intensity that Tony's mouth and hands stirred in his groin. He couldn't think logically, a hand gripping the boy's shoulder unsurely. "Tony...?" He questioned deliriously, arcing his back forward at the twinge of pleasure the vibration of his mouth caused. "Ahh..!" Lips parted in a soft cry as he was engulfed, able to think less and less as the pleasure consumed him.
He was surprised Jeff hadn't pushed him away yet, but still he trailed his length, awash in sweetness. With loving coils, his tongue swiped around the shaft, thriving at the sounds of Jeff's voice.
Jeff couldn't help the moan that escaped him, fingers tensing against Tony's shoulder subconsciously. Were he not so caught up in the moment, maybe Jeff would have pushed him away... had it not felt so wonderful. His eyelashes fluttered in pleasure, letting his friend do this as his mind was in some other place, never having known such a wonderful feeling. "Hahh... mmn.."
He wouldn't do this if it made Jeff so uncomfortable. But hearing him like this, Tony was obligated to give him more, in any way he could please Jeff. Sliding up and down, he furiously worked him, his mind exploded to submission. Oh Jeff... Jeff...!
Panting, Jeff's head rolled back, his other hand behind him gripping at the blankets. Warm gasps filled the room, the fervour that Tony moved with overwhelming; his mind was on nothing other than the pleasure.
Knowing it felt better for the both of them, Tony hummed, letting his actions vibrate through his lips. His tongue attending head, he concentrated on what seemed to be Jeff's favorite spots. Sensitive skin jerked near the back of his mouth, something white-hot and salty spilling down his throat. Tony swallowed quickly, pulling back from Jeff and coughing, backing up to recover.
Jeff let go with a final, shuddering whimper, squeezing Tony's shoulder as delight embraced his body in waves, slowly washing over into a calm buzz. Heart pounding loudly in his chest, Jeff worked to catch his breath, his skin ablaze with warmth. Eyes slipping open half way, they focused on the floor some distance away with heavy breaths.
Tony’s breath came in soft puffs, and his confused green eyes blinked at his trembling hands and back at Jeff. As his state of mind sobered, Tony bit his lip, no mistaking the taste still on his tongue. What had he done? What had he done!?
After a moment, Jeff's mind began to resettle, the moment almost feeling as surreal as Moonside. Blinking, he looked down at Tony, realization slowly dawning on him. Tony... Tony had done that. He pushed himself up a little, his hand draping over a bare leg. His grip on Tony's shoulder softened, almost questioningly.
Feeling Jeff's fingers soften, Tony tore away from him, frightened as if he uncovered a viper. A sick noose yanked his heart, insides tangling as the boy with the black hat turned pale. His eyes burned and watered, meek and shivering as he tried to speak... but couldn't.
Jeff startled, lifting his hand as Tony broke away from him. The relaxed calm he felt was fast slipping away, his gut twisting uncomfortably at Tony's behavior. "Hey..." He felt torn. He didn't know what to say, or what to think about what had happened, and now Tony was acting like this…
"Jeff..." How could you Tony? How could you? Jeff would never forget it. You've ruined your friendship for good... Like a dog about to be beaten, Tony stood still, waiting for the inevitable rejection that he believed ultimately deserved.
Jeff stared, frozen at the look on Tony's face. His insides felt like they were being clamped and twisted. Looking down, he subconsciously pulled his damp clothing back on, not even in the mind to do up his pants. "Tony." He took a deep breath, looking into those shaking eyes. "Why… did you do that...?"
Why? Why else would he do that? Because he was stupid, selfish, disgusting and-! As if his roommate's words plunged him into the fire, Tony wailed as he buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shuddering from loud and shrill sobs. "I'm so sorry Jeff! I didn't want to-I mean-! Oh god, I'm sorry! I-I didn't want you to hate me! Please! I don't want you to hate me, oh no... hate me... please... I-I'm horrible I... I don't deserve you! I'm a terrible person-!"
Jeff's eyes widened, standing as Tony started to cry. His own eyes shook-why was Tony acting like this? …And why had he done that? Stepping forward, his hands outstretched, though he seemed wary to come too close; both from his own confusion and from not wanting to upset Tony further.
"I-I don't hate you…" He stammered, narrowing his eyes. What was it? Jeff's mind perhaps worked too intelligently sometimes. Did the other boys... make him do things like that...? "No, you aren't... stop, please..."
Again, Tony shrank away, his arms pressed to his chest wanting to fold up and disappear. The pressing salt all over inside his mouth added to the wound; why did he have feelings like this? He was so disgusting... "I... always... l-loved you..." His fingers clawed into his face with every word. "I... I figured one day would be the day. Th-That I'd tell you. Just... wasn't sure..." Apparently it had to be this way. Tony you creep you pervert.
Jeff was frozen, hands still outstretched. His mouth softly fell open, and everything felt surreal again, he felt dizzy and kind of sick, his mind suddenly wasn't working right-but, he wasn't one to hear wrong... he was sure that he hadn't heard wrong. Somehow, he took another step forward, his breath hitching as his chest burned uncomfortably, a hand reaching to grasp one of the shaking boy's arms. Tony... was it true? "Tony..?"
He felt so dirty there should be mud coming off his skin. Why was Jeff touching him? "P-Please... don't...!" It was sinful enough confessing to Jeff; Tony didn't want him to be contaminated too.
"What did you say, Tony?" Jeff tried to speak as gently as he could, his insides squirming with foreign emotion. His grip loosened but he didn't remove it, light brown eyes focused on the rim of Tony's hat and the flecks of red curls that stuck out from underneath.
"I... love you... Jeff..." There. He wanted to make it clear. At least he let that out. A secret that ate away inside, caused him so much trouble and grief and hurt... but he couldn't tell the rest. Oh no, he couldn't...!
Swallowing, Jeff's fingers trailed down Tony's arm in thought, lifting to tip up his hat. His face looked absolutely miserable, but Jeff found himself touched by his sincerity. Finding out someone had feelings for you was flattering. Even if it was a boy who'd been your best friend for years. "I… didn't know." He mumbled quietly.
Tony glanced at the floor, refusing to look at Jeff. “Everyone knew…! If only you knew before they… they did…"
"What?" Eyebrows furrowing, he thought back to what he'd thought earlier, hoping it wasn't true. It was horrible. Not… Tony. "Who? Did they hurt you?" He set his hand atop Tony's trademark hat, his tone suddenly protective.
"N-Nothing I..." He steeled himself, somewhat relieved Jeff seemed concerned about him. "Um... do you remember the time you went away, in that science field trip? You know... abroad?"
"Yeah." He'd felt bad about that; a little worse now, with him bringing it up around this. He knew that he was Tony's only real friend, aside from some acquaintances he hoped did not belong in this "they" group. "What about it?"
"Well... I was alone. And I missed you." He gulped. "I was just sitting there when someone I saw from class waved at me. H-He seemed nice. Told me his birthday was coming up and thought he'd invite me."
"Yeah?" Jeff was listening, though the fact that Tony loved him was still idly floating around his head. "... C'mon. Sit down." He went back over to the bed, sitting where he'd been not long before. How much more didn't he know about Tony?
"O-Okay..." He timidly took his hand, sitting beside him. "So... I was lonely. And those boys saw that. I thought it was nice of them to think about me, and... well..." His hands fidgeted in his lap. "Nothing much happened. All I did was have a cup of juice. I wasn't interested in a lot of the things the boys did... partying, drinking, smoking, all that."
So concerned, he didn't seem to notice Tony's hand, letting him hold his as he sat down beside him. Where was Tony going with this? "Mhmm.." His heart clenched in his chest... he was worried about what he would hear.
"Well..." His stomach twisted, so afraid to spill it. It just brought things back again, reopened a bleeding gash. "I finished my juice, so I went to get some more. One of the boys must have seen me, because... he asked me if I was thirsty. I said yes. He yanked my arm and shouted to everyone in the room and introduced me. And... and he lay on the couch. A-And then..." Tony squirmed, feeling his face contort. "He... he asked me to do the same thing I did to you. Um, you know... afterIspiltthesodaonyou..."
Jeff looked appalled, accidentally squeezing Tony's hand in surprise. "Sorry." He mumbled about his hand. His breathing became uneven as he tried to contain his anger; for whoever could do something like that to Tony. "Tony, that's... that's terrible." He knew the answer even before he asked. "... Did you…?"
"T-They forced me!" He blurted out, the tears streaming down his face. "They... they took turns with me! I-I thought I was suffocating, I-!" Tony broke into sobs, his voice frantic and wheezing. "I was the little joke of their party and they laughed at me! They tore my pants and called me names and-and-!" The roars. The faces. The tears. Everyone literally jamming themselves down his throat-two three four-as many as they could possibly fit in his mouth at once...!
Jeff's disposition was slowly crumbling, his lip starting to tremble as Tony's words painted horrible pictures in his head. "T-Tony." He choked. He gently grabbed his arm, pulling him into a hug. H-how could they? He was so thoughtful and kind and always looked out for him. Tony never thought of himself! "They're vile." He almost whispered, voice shaking with emotion.
Flinging himself over Jeff's shoulder, Tony screamed as he poured every heaving tear. Flashbacks shoved the various toxins in his mouth, Tony's fingers over Jeff's jacket reminding him he could still breathe and cry and cry... he remembered his insides searing and violently rammed, the boys smacking and spanking him, telling him he loved that... and maybe he did, he was that low. Was there something vile dripping from his fingertips? Whatever it was, it wasn't pure.
Jeff blinked back the beginnings of tears, holding Tony tightly as he cried against him. "It's okay, it's okay..." He whispered, chin resting against Tony's shoulder. Shaking eyes looked on at nothing, his thoughts muddled and sad and sympathetic. Then something snapped in his mind, irrational and out of genuine feelings. Pulling back, Jeff grabbed Tony's shoulders, tears clouding his vision and slipping down his cheeks as he looked at him desperately. "T-Tony, I'm-I'm sorry, I... You didn't h-have to-I, I'm not l-like them…! "
"N- No!" Tony shrieked. "I shouldn't-! Oh Jeff... you don't know! You don't know what it's like... being there...!" Being ravaged and taunted, with no one to have mercy on him. It wasn't a situation he could easily babble about... "I was so frightened! And what's worse, if I told anyone they'd kill me! Threatened to have me choke on my blood, or... or worse..." 'Spunk'? Or was it anything like the history videos he and Jeff watched in class, about the horrible things people did out of racism and hate? He gritted his teeth. "The only real reason I'm still alive is I had to go back. There was one thing they DID like about me, other than... being their..."
Jeff was crying now. This was so horrible. He couldn't stand to hear about it, every word hurt more and more. But he wanted to, to relieve Tony of the burden of what he went through. "Tony..." He understood. But he shouldn't HAVE to understand… no one should have to go through things like this! "Tony..!" He whimpered, clinging to him, desperately trying to give him any comfort that he could. "They were monsters... monsters…" They may as well have been part of Giygas' army to him. Fingers gripped at Tony's jacket.
"Oh Jeff... Jeff! I was so scared you'd hate me...!" Jeff's shoulder was soaked by now. Oh, why did he have to make Jeff so sad? "Th-They're gone now. W-While you were away, trying to fight Giygas... I couldn't take it. I wanted to be brave. I was so scared, even to leave an anonymous note but... someone helped me. Y-You'd never guess, but... we both know him."
"I don't." He reassured, rubbing Tony's back a little. Sniffling, his glasses were clouded from his crying, sobs dying down. "Huh? Who..?" Someone helped Tony? Ness sure hadn't, that was for sure.
"M-Maxwell." He nodded. "H-He called me after class one day. He knew I was hiding something and was worried about me and... I spilled it. Told him everything. Who would've thunk it, the guy who shakes fear in us and locks our lockers for his pranks? He helped me out, made sure I was safe, and we found out the boys who did it and everything is fine now." He sniffled. "Maxwell can be pretty nice. That is, you know, when he's not being sarcastic."
Jeff smiled. Sure, he was a little hard on them sometimes, but Maxwell was a good man. He'd always liked him... now he had more reason to. "I'm glad." He sighed, wearily. "I'll have to thank him."
Tony sighed. "I had dreams. Kind of dumb romantic dreams that don't mean anything now..."
Jeff blushed, shifting subtly in his hold. "They don't?" He asked without really thinking about it, curious feelings tickling at his stomach.
"It's stupid, but..." He gazed at Jeff, green eyes full of awe and sadness. "Sometimes I go to sleep, and I'd dream you'd chase away the boys with your bottle rockets and save me. That you'd hold me and everything would be all right. Like... like a hero...!"
Quiet, Jeff looked at him softly, smiling sadly. "I wish I could've. But... at Stonehenge, it was about the same." He pulled him a little closer, his hold on him snug. "Everything's all right, Tony."
The boy held him tight. "I'm glad you're here, Jeff. You're always there to listen to me. Even when I'm-!" Tony paused, heart heavy with disappointment. "I-I always dreamed my first time... w-would be with you. But... now it's kind of late for that..." His heart twisted, a hurt sound from his throat. "I know it's wrong..."
Jeff swallowed. It didn't feel wrong. The fact that Tony loved him didn't feel wrong. That he'd... performed oral sex on him. Jeff... didn't feel bad about any of that. "No... I'm sorry, Tony. That they ruined that." His heart did a little flip in his chest. Hmm…
"Nn... the health center ran a series of tests on me. I... I'm clean. I don't have STDs or anything. Ooh, that... that would be awful-!" You're anything but clean, Tony. "M-Maybe I should've, it's bad enough I live. I'm-I'm tired of always hurting you...!"
"Tony!" He wrinkled his face, looking down as he paused to push his glasses up. Pulling out of the hug to look at him, he frowned. "Don't say things like that! You don't deserve to be diseased-never mind-dead. I-If you were dead, I'd-!" His heart constricted in pain, only too easily remembering the fear and worry that drove him to fight the Starman Deluxe with everything he had. For Tony. He could still see his face behind glass, surrounded by eerie liquid as he struggled to breath, reaching out for him deliriously... even now, it plagued his nightmares.
Eyes red, Tony stared at Jeff, numb as ice. "I... love you, Jeff. I want to be with you. B-But... I'll be like them-!"
It made Jeff blush; those words... "No, you're not like them, Tony! They did those horrible things to you. You didn't have a choice! That doesn't make you disgusting..." He squeezed Tony's shoulder, kindly, sad eyes trying to get through to him. None of the things he was saying were Tony at all! "The Tony I know... is kind, and thoughtful, and innocent. With a heart of gold."
Was he being pulled through some sort of mysterious Otherworld? Tony couldn't believe Jeff thought of him like this, talking to him like he was a skittish angel. Tears bubbling down his face again, Tony thought of one thing. "Jeff...? I want to touch you."
Jeff's breath faltered in his throat. It was a warm and kind of uncomfortable feeling. "W… wait, Tony." Reaching out, he pressed his thumbs to Tony's cheeks, softly brushing away his tears.
"Jeff...?" Tony wheezed, unsure of what would happen next.
"Did they ever kiss you?" Jeff asked, lowering a hand as the other stayed where it was on Tony's cheek. Maybe it wasn't as important as his virginity, but...
"N-No..."
His chest fluttering, Jeff leaned closer, fingers cupping Tony's cheek. His heart skipped as he brushed his lips to his, eyes slipping closed.
To be continued...
"Mm... sure." Tony nodded. Tony was over what happened last night, shaking it off as an inconsequential incident. Jeff didn't seem to bring it up, so it didn't matter to him either. He knelt down by Jeff's bag, picking through textbooks until he found one with a subject he wasn't familiar with. "Is it this one?"
Jeff glanced over his shoulder, pushing up his glasses. He always knew. "Yeah, that's it. Thanks." He turned so as to retrieve it from him when he'd stand, leaving the papers at his desk be for a moment. Jeff opened it and leafed through it, flipping to a bookmarked page. Biting his lip, he wondered like he always did if it was pushing it to ask again; it was his binder that apparently had the page he was looking for. He thought he'd put it here...
"Sorry, could you grab that black binder, too?" The genius set the book down, scratching the back of his neck.
"Oh! Urm... right. Is there anything else you'd like?"
"That's it." That Tony. He didn't realize that he'd stepped a little closer this time, mind more focused on his work than where his feet were going.
"Here Jeff!" Tony beamed, holding the black binder like it were a diploma. Jeff blinked when the boy's body backed bluntly against his, his hands indeed finding the book, but not quite the way he had in mind. Awkwardly, his fingers closed around it like the situation was normal, Tony's rear rubbing against his crotch.
"Um, thanks, Tony."
Jumping like a cat on hot iron, his roommate’s face was just as red as he turned and nodded. "Mm-! Right! S-sorry..."
A faint blush tickled Jeff's cheeks as they stood like that, unable to move. Tony's startling certainly didn't help to keep the area he pressed against calm. "It's okay."
W-What was that!? Tony covered his mouth, like he thought it would help hide his embarrassment. With a deep breath, the boy checked the fridge for another soda. Surely Jeff would almost be done with his by now.
Jeff stood for a moment, watching Tony's back before he turned to look over his work again. He wasn't actually looking at it, though. Goawaygoawaygoaway, he pleaded to his body, taking a sip of-air, apparently! Just great!
Closing the door, Tony took a can of what he knew was Jeff's favorite. Shaking it like a rattle, it would be an extra bonus to have it opened for him. One had to be careful opening those... even if it did explode, it was better his eye than Jeff's.
Jeff's body wasn't listening. He hoped that Tony would stay on the other side of the room long enough for his half-hard-on to die down, continuing to suck on tasteless air as his eyes traced a diagram uselessly.
"Jeff! I've got another soda if you want!"
Jeff's eyes widened, his glasses nearly falling off. D... damn! Tony was too nice for his own good. He didn't like to make his favours go to waste... Tony would always feel unrightfully guilty. "Oh, thanks." His fingers gripped the edge of the desk anxiously.
"Here." Tony smiled, thumb on the handle. "It's nothing, I-" He gasped, realizing he forgotten he already shaken the can... but it was too late. The spray went all over his chin and worse-over Jeff! His shirt and pants were soaked and-! Oh, this is all my fault!
Jeff's hands rose at the spray, but it didn't help much, most of it landing on his pants and the ends of his shirt and jacket. The cool chill made him flush, backing into the bed in surprise. He caught himself with his hands and sat down, an exasperated look on his face. How much worse could things get?
"Jeff! Oh god, Jeff I'm so sorry h-hold on a minute I-I'll clean it up!" Tony nabbed paper towels and napkins with the speed of an idealized housewife, swiping across the desks and Jeff's books (though for the most part, they were merely sprinkled), then clutching Jeff's jacket as he dabbed his shirt and pants. "I'm so sorry I-!"
"I-it's alright!" He couldn't be mad at Tony, no matter how unfortunate the circumstances were; both things had been accidents. Jeff's eyes widened as Tony came up to him with the paper towels, reddening at his dabbing. "I-I can do it…" He stammered in protest.
"It's okay! I'll clean it!" Tony's pleas fell from murmurs into mere whispers. His heart crawled up his throat, proving a difficult lump to swallow. Tony was still unsure of what to do. "Um..." Should he say something? Nono, it'll make it worse-!
"Tony." It was so hard to fight him-his will was like iron. Sighing, Jeff grasped some of his blanket between his fingers, watching Tony helplessly as he grew harder at the pressure against his lap. What was he supposed to do? Hurt Tony's feelings? But...
Jeff needed to change clothes. Oh, why hadn't he thought of pulling an extra pair of pants from the drawers? Tony hung his head in guilt-realizing Jeff was a lot closer than he realized. His top lip trailing cloth, he was surprised to find the zipper had already half undone itself. Unconsciously tugging down Jeff's pants, Tony could hear the heartbeat banging in his head, discovering the bulge beneath white cloth...
Jeff looked down in shock, realizing what Tony was doing a little slow, even if it was probably... definitely innocent, being Tony. Blushing, whatever he was going to say caught in his throat; breath hitching unsteady at his obvious exposure. He wanted to move, push Tony away and get a pair of pants...
Jeff's underwear was wet, so that needed to go too... he gasped and closed his eyes, not wanting to-too late. Tony bit his lip, his breath growing shakier. Godohgodohgod. Tony what are you doing stop that right now. What made matters worse was he liked what he's seeing. A churn of guilt twisted a knot in Tony's stomach, which in a way made him crave more.
At this point, Jeff was a bit in shock, staring as if this was some weird dream-he never would've expected Tony to do something like that. Ever. Not even in his wildest dreams. Swallowing hard, his face reddened as he felt himself twitch, trying to bite back a pang of arousal that he didn't understand.
He couldn't look at Jeff. He wouldn't dare. He bent his head lower and... his lips touched him. Barely containing a frightened squeak, Tony plunged forward, dropping the napkins as his hands scrambled to hold on. An odd feeling tingled in his shoulders... Tony whimpered, finding it hard to breathe. Reluctantly pulling back, he didn't withdraw completely... closing around the tip, Tony took a deep breath and sucked.
Jeff's heart jumped into his throat at the touch, frozen in shock as his brain struggled to wrap around what had happened. Before he could come to terms with that, everything was suddenly hot and wet and o-oh god what was happening? Head drooping, he looked down at Tony with his lips around him, clenching his eyes with a heavy breath at the pressure.
His hands explored him, taking the time to learn every bump and ridge... he found himself sucking more enthusiastically, letting his tongue reach out and stroke. Oh, it felt so good! Coiling wet muscle around the head, Tony half hummed, half moaned in joy and arousal. The tip of his tongue tracing the slit, a metallic tinge left a flavor in his mouth and god... it made him push deeper, taking more in his mouth.
Gasping, Jeff's mind was lost, senses taken over by the intensity that Tony's mouth and hands stirred in his groin. He couldn't think logically, a hand gripping the boy's shoulder unsurely. "Tony...?" He questioned deliriously, arcing his back forward at the twinge of pleasure the vibration of his mouth caused. "Ahh..!" Lips parted in a soft cry as he was engulfed, able to think less and less as the pleasure consumed him.
He was surprised Jeff hadn't pushed him away yet, but still he trailed his length, awash in sweetness. With loving coils, his tongue swiped around the shaft, thriving at the sounds of Jeff's voice.
Jeff couldn't help the moan that escaped him, fingers tensing against Tony's shoulder subconsciously. Were he not so caught up in the moment, maybe Jeff would have pushed him away... had it not felt so wonderful. His eyelashes fluttered in pleasure, letting his friend do this as his mind was in some other place, never having known such a wonderful feeling. "Hahh... mmn.."
He wouldn't do this if it made Jeff so uncomfortable. But hearing him like this, Tony was obligated to give him more, in any way he could please Jeff. Sliding up and down, he furiously worked him, his mind exploded to submission. Oh Jeff... Jeff...!
Panting, Jeff's head rolled back, his other hand behind him gripping at the blankets. Warm gasps filled the room, the fervour that Tony moved with overwhelming; his mind was on nothing other than the pleasure.
Knowing it felt better for the both of them, Tony hummed, letting his actions vibrate through his lips. His tongue attending head, he concentrated on what seemed to be Jeff's favorite spots. Sensitive skin jerked near the back of his mouth, something white-hot and salty spilling down his throat. Tony swallowed quickly, pulling back from Jeff and coughing, backing up to recover.
Jeff let go with a final, shuddering whimper, squeezing Tony's shoulder as delight embraced his body in waves, slowly washing over into a calm buzz. Heart pounding loudly in his chest, Jeff worked to catch his breath, his skin ablaze with warmth. Eyes slipping open half way, they focused on the floor some distance away with heavy breaths.
Tony’s breath came in soft puffs, and his confused green eyes blinked at his trembling hands and back at Jeff. As his state of mind sobered, Tony bit his lip, no mistaking the taste still on his tongue. What had he done? What had he done!?
After a moment, Jeff's mind began to resettle, the moment almost feeling as surreal as Moonside. Blinking, he looked down at Tony, realization slowly dawning on him. Tony... Tony had done that. He pushed himself up a little, his hand draping over a bare leg. His grip on Tony's shoulder softened, almost questioningly.
Feeling Jeff's fingers soften, Tony tore away from him, frightened as if he uncovered a viper. A sick noose yanked his heart, insides tangling as the boy with the black hat turned pale. His eyes burned and watered, meek and shivering as he tried to speak... but couldn't.
Jeff startled, lifting his hand as Tony broke away from him. The relaxed calm he felt was fast slipping away, his gut twisting uncomfortably at Tony's behavior. "Hey..." He felt torn. He didn't know what to say, or what to think about what had happened, and now Tony was acting like this…
"Jeff..." How could you Tony? How could you? Jeff would never forget it. You've ruined your friendship for good... Like a dog about to be beaten, Tony stood still, waiting for the inevitable rejection that he believed ultimately deserved.
Jeff stared, frozen at the look on Tony's face. His insides felt like they were being clamped and twisted. Looking down, he subconsciously pulled his damp clothing back on, not even in the mind to do up his pants. "Tony." He took a deep breath, looking into those shaking eyes. "Why… did you do that...?"
Why? Why else would he do that? Because he was stupid, selfish, disgusting and-! As if his roommate's words plunged him into the fire, Tony wailed as he buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shuddering from loud and shrill sobs. "I'm so sorry Jeff! I didn't want to-I mean-! Oh god, I'm sorry! I-I didn't want you to hate me! Please! I don't want you to hate me, oh no... hate me... please... I-I'm horrible I... I don't deserve you! I'm a terrible person-!"
Jeff's eyes widened, standing as Tony started to cry. His own eyes shook-why was Tony acting like this? …And why had he done that? Stepping forward, his hands outstretched, though he seemed wary to come too close; both from his own confusion and from not wanting to upset Tony further.
"I-I don't hate you…" He stammered, narrowing his eyes. What was it? Jeff's mind perhaps worked too intelligently sometimes. Did the other boys... make him do things like that...? "No, you aren't... stop, please..."
Again, Tony shrank away, his arms pressed to his chest wanting to fold up and disappear. The pressing salt all over inside his mouth added to the wound; why did he have feelings like this? He was so disgusting... "I... always... l-loved you..." His fingers clawed into his face with every word. "I... I figured one day would be the day. Th-That I'd tell you. Just... wasn't sure..." Apparently it had to be this way. Tony you creep you pervert.
Jeff was frozen, hands still outstretched. His mouth softly fell open, and everything felt surreal again, he felt dizzy and kind of sick, his mind suddenly wasn't working right-but, he wasn't one to hear wrong... he was sure that he hadn't heard wrong. Somehow, he took another step forward, his breath hitching as his chest burned uncomfortably, a hand reaching to grasp one of the shaking boy's arms. Tony... was it true? "Tony..?"
He felt so dirty there should be mud coming off his skin. Why was Jeff touching him? "P-Please... don't...!" It was sinful enough confessing to Jeff; Tony didn't want him to be contaminated too.
"What did you say, Tony?" Jeff tried to speak as gently as he could, his insides squirming with foreign emotion. His grip loosened but he didn't remove it, light brown eyes focused on the rim of Tony's hat and the flecks of red curls that stuck out from underneath.
"I... love you... Jeff..." There. He wanted to make it clear. At least he let that out. A secret that ate away inside, caused him so much trouble and grief and hurt... but he couldn't tell the rest. Oh no, he couldn't...!
Swallowing, Jeff's fingers trailed down Tony's arm in thought, lifting to tip up his hat. His face looked absolutely miserable, but Jeff found himself touched by his sincerity. Finding out someone had feelings for you was flattering. Even if it was a boy who'd been your best friend for years. "I… didn't know." He mumbled quietly.
Tony glanced at the floor, refusing to look at Jeff. “Everyone knew…! If only you knew before they… they did…"
"What?" Eyebrows furrowing, he thought back to what he'd thought earlier, hoping it wasn't true. It was horrible. Not… Tony. "Who? Did they hurt you?" He set his hand atop Tony's trademark hat, his tone suddenly protective.
"N-Nothing I..." He steeled himself, somewhat relieved Jeff seemed concerned about him. "Um... do you remember the time you went away, in that science field trip? You know... abroad?"
"Yeah." He'd felt bad about that; a little worse now, with him bringing it up around this. He knew that he was Tony's only real friend, aside from some acquaintances he hoped did not belong in this "they" group. "What about it?"
"Well... I was alone. And I missed you." He gulped. "I was just sitting there when someone I saw from class waved at me. H-He seemed nice. Told me his birthday was coming up and thought he'd invite me."
"Yeah?" Jeff was listening, though the fact that Tony loved him was still idly floating around his head. "... C'mon. Sit down." He went back over to the bed, sitting where he'd been not long before. How much more didn't he know about Tony?
"O-Okay..." He timidly took his hand, sitting beside him. "So... I was lonely. And those boys saw that. I thought it was nice of them to think about me, and... well..." His hands fidgeted in his lap. "Nothing much happened. All I did was have a cup of juice. I wasn't interested in a lot of the things the boys did... partying, drinking, smoking, all that."
So concerned, he didn't seem to notice Tony's hand, letting him hold his as he sat down beside him. Where was Tony going with this? "Mhmm.." His heart clenched in his chest... he was worried about what he would hear.
"Well..." His stomach twisted, so afraid to spill it. It just brought things back again, reopened a bleeding gash. "I finished my juice, so I went to get some more. One of the boys must have seen me, because... he asked me if I was thirsty. I said yes. He yanked my arm and shouted to everyone in the room and introduced me. And... and he lay on the couch. A-And then..." Tony squirmed, feeling his face contort. "He... he asked me to do the same thing I did to you. Um, you know... afterIspiltthesodaonyou..."
Jeff looked appalled, accidentally squeezing Tony's hand in surprise. "Sorry." He mumbled about his hand. His breathing became uneven as he tried to contain his anger; for whoever could do something like that to Tony. "Tony, that's... that's terrible." He knew the answer even before he asked. "... Did you…?"
"T-They forced me!" He blurted out, the tears streaming down his face. "They... they took turns with me! I-I thought I was suffocating, I-!" Tony broke into sobs, his voice frantic and wheezing. "I was the little joke of their party and they laughed at me! They tore my pants and called me names and-and-!" The roars. The faces. The tears. Everyone literally jamming themselves down his throat-two three four-as many as they could possibly fit in his mouth at once...!
Jeff's disposition was slowly crumbling, his lip starting to tremble as Tony's words painted horrible pictures in his head. "T-Tony." He choked. He gently grabbed his arm, pulling him into a hug. H-how could they? He was so thoughtful and kind and always looked out for him. Tony never thought of himself! "They're vile." He almost whispered, voice shaking with emotion.
Flinging himself over Jeff's shoulder, Tony screamed as he poured every heaving tear. Flashbacks shoved the various toxins in his mouth, Tony's fingers over Jeff's jacket reminding him he could still breathe and cry and cry... he remembered his insides searing and violently rammed, the boys smacking and spanking him, telling him he loved that... and maybe he did, he was that low. Was there something vile dripping from his fingertips? Whatever it was, it wasn't pure.
Jeff blinked back the beginnings of tears, holding Tony tightly as he cried against him. "It's okay, it's okay..." He whispered, chin resting against Tony's shoulder. Shaking eyes looked on at nothing, his thoughts muddled and sad and sympathetic. Then something snapped in his mind, irrational and out of genuine feelings. Pulling back, Jeff grabbed Tony's shoulders, tears clouding his vision and slipping down his cheeks as he looked at him desperately. "T-Tony, I'm-I'm sorry, I... You didn't h-have to-I, I'm not l-like them…! "
"N- No!" Tony shrieked. "I shouldn't-! Oh Jeff... you don't know! You don't know what it's like... being there...!" Being ravaged and taunted, with no one to have mercy on him. It wasn't a situation he could easily babble about... "I was so frightened! And what's worse, if I told anyone they'd kill me! Threatened to have me choke on my blood, or... or worse..." 'Spunk'? Or was it anything like the history videos he and Jeff watched in class, about the horrible things people did out of racism and hate? He gritted his teeth. "The only real reason I'm still alive is I had to go back. There was one thing they DID like about me, other than... being their..."
Jeff was crying now. This was so horrible. He couldn't stand to hear about it, every word hurt more and more. But he wanted to, to relieve Tony of the burden of what he went through. "Tony..." He understood. But he shouldn't HAVE to understand… no one should have to go through things like this! "Tony..!" He whimpered, clinging to him, desperately trying to give him any comfort that he could. "They were monsters... monsters…" They may as well have been part of Giygas' army to him. Fingers gripped at Tony's jacket.
"Oh Jeff... Jeff! I was so scared you'd hate me...!" Jeff's shoulder was soaked by now. Oh, why did he have to make Jeff so sad? "Th-They're gone now. W-While you were away, trying to fight Giygas... I couldn't take it. I wanted to be brave. I was so scared, even to leave an anonymous note but... someone helped me. Y-You'd never guess, but... we both know him."
"I don't." He reassured, rubbing Tony's back a little. Sniffling, his glasses were clouded from his crying, sobs dying down. "Huh? Who..?" Someone helped Tony? Ness sure hadn't, that was for sure.
"M-Maxwell." He nodded. "H-He called me after class one day. He knew I was hiding something and was worried about me and... I spilled it. Told him everything. Who would've thunk it, the guy who shakes fear in us and locks our lockers for his pranks? He helped me out, made sure I was safe, and we found out the boys who did it and everything is fine now." He sniffled. "Maxwell can be pretty nice. That is, you know, when he's not being sarcastic."
Jeff smiled. Sure, he was a little hard on them sometimes, but Maxwell was a good man. He'd always liked him... now he had more reason to. "I'm glad." He sighed, wearily. "I'll have to thank him."
Tony sighed. "I had dreams. Kind of dumb romantic dreams that don't mean anything now..."
Jeff blushed, shifting subtly in his hold. "They don't?" He asked without really thinking about it, curious feelings tickling at his stomach.
"It's stupid, but..." He gazed at Jeff, green eyes full of awe and sadness. "Sometimes I go to sleep, and I'd dream you'd chase away the boys with your bottle rockets and save me. That you'd hold me and everything would be all right. Like... like a hero...!"
Quiet, Jeff looked at him softly, smiling sadly. "I wish I could've. But... at Stonehenge, it was about the same." He pulled him a little closer, his hold on him snug. "Everything's all right, Tony."
The boy held him tight. "I'm glad you're here, Jeff. You're always there to listen to me. Even when I'm-!" Tony paused, heart heavy with disappointment. "I-I always dreamed my first time... w-would be with you. But... now it's kind of late for that..." His heart twisted, a hurt sound from his throat. "I know it's wrong..."
Jeff swallowed. It didn't feel wrong. The fact that Tony loved him didn't feel wrong. That he'd... performed oral sex on him. Jeff... didn't feel bad about any of that. "No... I'm sorry, Tony. That they ruined that." His heart did a little flip in his chest. Hmm…
"Nn... the health center ran a series of tests on me. I... I'm clean. I don't have STDs or anything. Ooh, that... that would be awful-!" You're anything but clean, Tony. "M-Maybe I should've, it's bad enough I live. I'm-I'm tired of always hurting you...!"
"Tony!" He wrinkled his face, looking down as he paused to push his glasses up. Pulling out of the hug to look at him, he frowned. "Don't say things like that! You don't deserve to be diseased-never mind-dead. I-If you were dead, I'd-!" His heart constricted in pain, only too easily remembering the fear and worry that drove him to fight the Starman Deluxe with everything he had. For Tony. He could still see his face behind glass, surrounded by eerie liquid as he struggled to breath, reaching out for him deliriously... even now, it plagued his nightmares.
Eyes red, Tony stared at Jeff, numb as ice. "I... love you, Jeff. I want to be with you. B-But... I'll be like them-!"
It made Jeff blush; those words... "No, you're not like them, Tony! They did those horrible things to you. You didn't have a choice! That doesn't make you disgusting..." He squeezed Tony's shoulder, kindly, sad eyes trying to get through to him. None of the things he was saying were Tony at all! "The Tony I know... is kind, and thoughtful, and innocent. With a heart of gold."
Was he being pulled through some sort of mysterious Otherworld? Tony couldn't believe Jeff thought of him like this, talking to him like he was a skittish angel. Tears bubbling down his face again, Tony thought of one thing. "Jeff...? I want to touch you."
Jeff's breath faltered in his throat. It was a warm and kind of uncomfortable feeling. "W… wait, Tony." Reaching out, he pressed his thumbs to Tony's cheeks, softly brushing away his tears.
"Jeff...?" Tony wheezed, unsure of what would happen next.
"Did they ever kiss you?" Jeff asked, lowering a hand as the other stayed where it was on Tony's cheek. Maybe it wasn't as important as his virginity, but...
"N-No..."
His chest fluttering, Jeff leaned closer, fingers cupping Tony's cheek. His heart skipped as he brushed his lips to his, eyes slipping closed.
To be continued...