The Art of Not Dating 3
Jensen walked in and looked at the pair curled up and then at the screen and said, “I want an anti-griddle but I don’t even know what I’d do with it. Jamie, why don’t you pause this? We can watch it later.”
“Okay, don’t tell me who wins though.”
“Deal.” They walked into the kitchen and Jensen said, “We’re making oven mac and cheese with bacon and quick bread.”
“How do you make bread? What flour do you use?”
“Sprouted spelt flour which rises really fast.” He started pulling things out of the cupboards saying, “I figured we’d do oven mac and cheese because you had issues with cheese and this has two big steps with the cheese that need to be done correctly. The main thing to remember about fake cheese is that it’s not going to melt really. You can try but you won’t win, ever. And the people who say they’ve made one that melts well? They’re lying. None of them will ever melt like real cheese.”
“So how do you make mac and cheese at all?”
“You work around it. You cook the pasta so that the sauce doesn’t need to; you make the basic sauce and then throw in the cheese. And toast it oven really quickly so the cheese can’t solidify.”
He made the bread quickly, talking to Jared throughout, telling him about not kneading it because of the flour’s limitations. It sort of felt like being on a cooking show. Putting it aside to rise Jensen was quickly getting out new things, margarine, flour, soy milk, salt, pepper, and the fake cheese.
The cheese was a fine dust and Jared asked, “Where do you get it grated that finely?”
“Oh, I um, I prepared this earlier.” Jensen laughed; it really was like being on a cooking show.
~~~
Jared felt his smile widening and said, “Are you trying to steal my job?”
“I like to do it in advance so we can eat sooner.” He put the pasta and broccoli water on to boil.
“So, Jared,” said Jamie pushing himself up onto the counter, “Next we make a roux, you know how to make a roux, but we do it with margarine because I’m allergic to butter and our milk doesn’t have carigin.”
“Carrageenan,” corrected Jensen. He handed things to Jamie who started mixing them in a pan and put the bread into the oven and the pasta and broccoli into the pots with boiling water. “Okay, we need bacon.”
Jared didn’t participate, just watched the pair working together. Jamie made the cream sauce practically by himself; Jensen was just keeping an eye on him as he cut up the bacon and threw it in a pan. “Okay, what do we need next, baby?”
“Don’t call me baby in front of Jared,” whined Jamie. “The sauce needs the cheese.”
Jensen took it off the heat and poured the cheese in, stirring quickly, “See, grating it this much makes it so that it doesn’t need to melt in. It just needs to be mixed.” He drained the pasta and whipped it into the sauce in a glass casserole dish. Opening the second oven he said, “You can make it golden and crispy on top by putting it under the broiler for seven minutes. Any longer and the cheese solidifies and goes to rubber.” He stirred the bacon and said, “We like our bacon nice and crispy with mac and cheese are you a soft bacon person?”
“No, I like it crispy.”
“Great,” He stirred and then leaned down to check on the bread. “Done.” He pulled it out and said, “This needs to rest for ten minutes.” He next drained the broccoli.
“You know, watching you two do this as a pair is a bit like watching Iron Chef. Jamie is the one in charge though.”
Jensen laughed and tried the bacon, “I know. That’s done.” He poured it onto paper towel and said, “Let me pull the dish out of the oven and then it can all sit for a few minutes. Jamie, would you please set the table for me?”
“Yeah,” Jamie pushed himself off the counter and pulled utensils and paper napkins out of a drawer.
“Cranberry juice or lemonade?”
“Cranberry juice, please,” said Jamie.
“Jared, glass of wine?” Jared gave him a small smile. “I won’t be mean this time.”
“Sure, I would love a glass of wine.”
“You were mean to Jared?” Jamie butted in and Jared smiled at Jensen, letting him answer.
“I was, I got flustered and mean.” He opened the fridge and said, “Pinot Noir, I think. Right? It’s been a long time since I’ve drank with diner.”
“That would be great, not too heavy.”
“That’s what I thought,” Jensen poured the wine. “Damn it! I forgot to warm the plates.”
Jared really wanted to hug the guy. Because Jensen? He was fucking adorable. “It’s a Tuesday night dinner. Tuesday night dinners do not require warmed plates.”
“Yes, but dinners with real live chefs do.”
“Please, watching you two? I feel like an amateur. You just did all that in a little over an hour.”
“I know; we’re awesome.” He started dishing out and then blushed in a way that made Jared’s blood flow south. “Do you mind if I just serve this up?”
“No, go for it, that’s great, thanks.”
They sat down and Jamie said, “Y’know, we really do like your show. Daddy watches it in bed.”
Jensen choked on his sip of wine. And Jared smiled saying, “Cool, I was watching videos of your Daddy playing the piano in bed the other night.”
“He’s amazing right?”
“He has very talented hands,” Jared nodded.
~~~
Jensen wanted the floor to just swallow him. He could feel his blush rising, felt his face get hot. Then a hand settled on his thigh and it was the least sexual thing Jensen could imagine. It just felt warm and comforting and he looked up to see Jared smiling in a sort of secret way. It was as though Jared thought a six year old revealing his dad’s masturbatory practices was amusing and cute.
Jamie told some stories from his day as they ate and quizzed Jared about specific episodes of his show. Jared’s hand remained on Jensen’s thigh throughout the meal and it wasn’t awkward. Once they were done Jensen said, “Okay, Jamie, an hour ‘til bed. What do you want to do?”
“Call Ma and Pa and watch the rest of Iron Chef.”
“We can do that.” Jensen started to push his chair back and Jared allowed his hand to slide off in a still casual way. He quickly gathered the plates and said, “Jared, relax, digest.” He put the plates on the counter and handed Jared the bottle of wine. “Drink this. Jamie, let me dial for you.”
“Ma and Pa?” asked Jared, accepting the bottle of wine.
“The Palickis.” Jensen smiled as he grabbed the phone.
“My parents?”
“No, Tricia’s. Palickis: there’s no ‘d’.” He dialed quickly and put it to his ear, “Hey, Pa.”
“Jen, hey boy. How are you?”
“I’m good, how are you?” He could feel his smile spread but he couldn’t help it. His father-in-law always sounded so excited to hear his voice that he was slightly ashamed of the fact that he didn’t call more.
“Are you really good? I thought you were supposed to have a date tonight.”
“Jared came over for dinner; we just finished but Jamie wanted to call and have a chat.”
“Is he a good one? Do we like him because you know: we worry about you two boys. And, Jen, we want you to be happy. So, he’s a good one?”
He grimaced slightly, “Yeah, maybe, possibly. I don’t know what to do about that. Anyway, here’s Jamie.”
“Jen!” he heard but passed it off fast. Smiling at Jared he said, “You aren’t drinking?”
“I have to drive and I’ve already had three.”
“Sorry, yeah, coffee?” Jensen put the dishes into the washer.
“I’m really okay on the beverage front. Honestly, what can I do to be helpful?”
“Nothing, honestly, let’s just go through into the living room… or something.”
“Would it be easier if I wanted coffee?”
“Yes, actually, maybe.” Jamie left the room talking quickly. “Sorry.”
“You’ve got a virtual stranger in the kitchen who has already said he thinks of you while jerking off and you just talked to your father-in-law: you’re allowed to be flustered. I would love a coffee.”
Jensen really appreciated that Jared had glossed over the fact that Jamie had started the masturbation conversation by pointing out that Jensen was a self-abusing fool. “Thank you.”
“I like coffee.”
Laughter came from the living room and Jamie’s raised voice said, “No, Ma, you’re silly… yeah, I wanna come over. Sure, I bet Daddy would like to too.”
“He’s roping us into something.”
“Are you close to you parents-in-law?” asked Jared.
“Yes.” He paused as he got the coffee out of the freezer. “Tricia and I were such good friends in college and in the summer we were always back and forth between our parents’ houses so I was pretty close to them before we got married.” He busied himself with the kettle and didn’t look at Jared. He still didn’t want to talk about her. “I’m really sorry, can we-”
“Is teaching at all rewarding? Because when someone isn’t a good cook I just get irritated and push them out of the way so I can do it myself.” Jared’s quick switch was noted and appreciated.
“Yeah, I get that. I don’t know… I started in college. I used to tutor people on strings to get beer money… My friend Tommy was the worst guitarist I have ever heard. He got a bit better eventually but he always sort of… awful and he really prepared me for my idiot students. But sometimes it’s really hard when they suck and I know they’re not gonna get better. When they have no potential I get bored and apathetic.”
“Wow, that’s harsh.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“I actually like it when it’s not pointed at me.”
“I really am sorry about the other night. I just…”
“You haven’t dated since she died. I came into your house, talked about her, and tried to ingratiate myself with you.”
“You did.” Jensen poured the boiling water into the coffee press and said, “That still doesn’t make it okay.” As he pumped the press he asked, “How do you take your coffee?”
“Soy milk, three sugars.”
“Usually soy milk?”
“Lactose intolerant. I only ever use it in cooking. If it’s to drink then I never touch dairy. It’s not worth the possible vomiting.”
“You’re lactose intolerant?”
~~~
Jared heard the soft tone and said, “My inability to digest lactose makes you like me more?”
Blushing Jensen looked away and pushed the handle of the press down a final time, “There’s nothing that could hurt Jamie in this house. The fact that you drink soy is just… sort of endearing.” He poured out the coffee and fixed Jared’s before handing it over.
Jamie came back in and said, “Ma and Pa want us to have date night with them. Ma wants to cook and Pa wants to rent a film.”
“Cool, that sounds good. You want to finish Iron Chef?”
“Yes, please.”
“Okay. Jared, do you want to come watch?”
“I haven’t seen that one so I would, yes.”
Jared smiled at Jensen trying to show that there was no pressure, he wasn’t asking for anything other than time. They watched the episode, commenting on the cool stuff. Jensen put Jamie to bed after handing Jared the remote, “I’ll be back, I mean, if you want to stay. It’ll take a while,” he said lifting Jamie who was half asleep.
“No, I’ll stay, there’s a Food Network Challenge next,” Jared smiled easily.
As he came back into the room, twenty minutes later, Jared smiled at him could hear Tricia singing. “I’ve had a thought about our not date.”
“Not date?” repeated Jensen.
“I want to go to dinner with you but you don’t date so it won’t be a date. I won’t pick you up, or pay, or try to get you naked at the end.”
“I don’t think I said yes yet.”
“Just wait. This house is totally safe, nothing… is real an offensive word?”
“Not so long as you don’t say it in front of Jamie. It isn’t real, I agree. But I don’t want him… he knows that other kids don’t eat like him but he doesn’t realize how differently he eats.”
“When was the last time you ate something real?”
“I went out to dinner with Chris recently.”
“How recently is recently?”
“Um… ten months ago.”
“Recently,” he said sarcastically. “Here’s what’s going to happen when you decide to say yes to our not date. You will meet me at Tresetta, it’s an Italian place, amazing. It has this awesome bread, and butter, and nuts, and seafood, a pear tart to die for. So we meet, we eat, talk, and get to know each other better. And then you follow me back to my apartment, you will brush your teeth, shower, you will put on new clothes, you will come home to Jamie knowing that you can kiss him goodnight without risking his health, I will return your clothes when I see you next. At no point in time will I put the moves on you; we’ll just eat pear tarts.”
“Yes.”
“Yes I won’t hit on you or yes you’ll come on this not date?”
“I’ll come on the not date. Tresetta at eight on Saturday?”
They would meet after Jensen put Jamie to bed. It made perfect sense. “Absolutely, eight. I can’t believe you said yes.”
“So why did you ask?”
“Well, I was planning on asking every Tuesday until you said yes.”
“Every Tuesday? What happens on Tuesdays?”
“That’s the night that’s always best for cooking with you.”
“So you were gonna cook with us until I said yes?”
“No, I’m going to keep cooking with you on Tuesdays so long as you let me. I like Jamie, I like learning about new food. And what you made tasted like real food.”
“I miss real food, it wouldn’t matter to Jamie as long as it was good, but I want it to taste real.”
“Hence our not date based wholly on food.”
“I like you. I mean I’m not just going with you on the basis of food.”
“I’m glad. That’s good.”
“But I honestly can’t-”
“It’s not a date, Jensen, I promise. You don’t need to talk about anything you don’t want to. You don’t need to be super vivacious. There’s no expectations. I like you and I think you’re attractive. But I just want to go out to dinner with you, hang out, and maybe we’ll be friends eventually but right now we’re just going to hang out.”
“Okay.”
“Excellent,” Jared drained his third cup of coffee, “You look tired.” It was a little after nine but Jared said, “So good night and thank you for a fantastic meal.”
~~~
part 4
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