The Food Network 1
Jensen liked shopping; he really did. He liked looking at things, ingredients, comparing prices, and finding exactly what he needed. He liked the time to himself to really think about nothing while still accomplishing something. He was always careful with what he bought; he needed to be. But it was his time to relax.
Today, however, there was some douche bag talking loudly in the produce section, and Jensen was trying to ignore it. The corn looked good, and he went over to peel the husks back and take a closer look when the loud bastard said, “You, sir.” Jensen hated himself even as he turned because this? This was fucking up his happy time. And there was the loud mouth, who was so tall, so gorgeous, and so famous.
“TV’s Chef Jared, hello,” he said looking at the film crew behind the man. “How’s it going?” Jared’s grin widened impossibly, dimples appearing, hair falling in his eyes, and Jensen looked at the white teeth thinking, they’ve got to be caps.
“You know who I am?”
“Sure do, Dinner for Two with the Gallivanting Gourmet.”
“You’re a fan!”
Jensen knew his smile was tight, but he really wanted to go home, and he said, “Seen every episode. Jamie loves the show.”
“So, tonight I’m going to come home with you and cook for you and your wife.”
Jensen shook his head, “I don’t have a wife; I live with my Jamie.”
“Then I cook for you and Jamie.”
“He’s allergic to pretty much everything.”
~~~
That statement right there? Floored him. Hot dude has no wife? Great. Hot dude is gay? Fantastic. Hot dude has a life-partner who has food allergies? Well fuck. And Jared assumed that this guy and Jamie had to be pretty serious because why would you put up with someone who can’t eat things if it wasn’t for real commitment? Jared wouldn’t even put up with it then. Jared would never fall in love with someone with food allergies. Food was Jared’s life. It was how he made his money, how he showed his friends he cared, how he kept himself healthy and happy. He cooked for his dogs for chrissakes. He even dreamed about food. Sometimes he was cooking, or eating, or hungry, or using it to have hot sex with Bobby Flay. So no, there was no way he would let someone with restrictions into his life.
The other thing that could pose a problem was that Middle America loved him and now he wanted to shoot an episode with a gay couple. A gay couple he was secretly hoping to break up and steal the hot non-loser-without-allergies for himself. And that could be problematic. But they always shot more episodes than they needed to have for a full season. They did it so that, if a few sucked, they would still have enough episodes. If this went poorly they would cut it. He smiled brightly and said, “I enjoy a challenge. What do you say?”
~~~
Jensen looked at him and said, “He’s a huge fan… but he’s really allergic to everything.”
“So you walk around with me and we choose stuff together.”
“Isn’t it supposed to be a surprise?”
“We can make an exception for food allergies. Besides, we always talk about what sort of food people like so this just takes it a step further. So what do you guys like? You’re from here, right? That a Texan accent?”
“Sure, born and raised right here in Richardson and as for what we like… Jamie is not picky. He loves everything, it could be totally new and strange to him and he would dive right in and enjoy it. Right now he’s into Indian and Thai. Last month it was Japanese. He’s adventurous.”
~~~
Jared kind of wondered if Jamie was simple or something. That would explain why this dude sounded so proud of the fact that the guy tried new food. And maybe Jamie wasn’t hot guy’s lover, maybe he was, like, a retarded brother. And Jared understood that. If Jeff was slow and had food allergies, he would take care of him and not resent his condition… much. He hoped that, just because Jamie was maybe not his lover, it didn’t mean that hot guy was straight. That would suck. He said, “Well how about an Indian/Mexican dinner?”
“That sounds awesome. I’m Jensen, by the way. Sorry, I forgot about that. So what do we need? Should I just walk with you and veto stuff?”
“Sure, sounds good.”
~~~
Jared laid out the plan as they walked around and Jensen made assenting noises, carefully checking each item the man picked up. This was going to be great, just what would thrill Jamie to pieces but Jensen wasn’t going to let his guard down and accidentally end up buying something with legumes in it. Jared asked about cooking utensils because part of the premise was that he could do it all in your kitchen. They were done soon after, and Jared was paying saying, “Dinner for Two covers this; don’t worry.”
The camera crew and Jared followed him as Jensen drove his old Ford pickup home; he thought about nothing, trying to relax and not over-analyze this. At home he pulled into the driveway, giving the four short beeps he always did to herald his arrival home. The front door to his ranch opened, and there was Adrianne with a tight smile and he almost ran from the car. Annie always smiled wide and easy. “What’s up?” He asked.
“There was an altercation at school. He’s fine, he’s shook up, he’s not in trouble but Sera wants you to call, and he wants to tell you about it himself, and oh dear lord TV’s Chef Jared just pulled up.”
“We met at the grocery store; can you get them to give me a moment with my boy?”
“Sure; I’ll flirt.”
“He’s as queer as a three dollar bill.”
Her face lit up, “Excellent. This is like a dream come true for you.”
He rolled his eyes and said, “I’m not jumping on the Gallivanting Gourmet. It’s tacky. And don’t hint, Annie, it’s not cute and if you do, I’ll think of something mean to tell people about you.” He pushed past his sister-in-law and into the living room where he saw Jamie curled up on the couch watching a DVD of Jared cooking. “Hey, baby, what happened today?” The six year old sat up and looked at him for a moment.
“Daddy, I hit Tim Morgan and I made him bleed.”
Jensen went and kneeled on front of him, “Why’d you do that, Jamie? You shouldn’t hit people.”
Jamie nodded and burst into tears, “I didn’t want to. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and he opened it and put his fingers in it and tried to touch my face and he was laughing and I was scared.” His voice rose with his crying, “I didn’t want to go into ‘phylactic shock. ‘Cause I don’t like the needle going into my leg, and not feeling my hands, and my chest hurts, and I faint, and I wake up in the hospital. And I know that Dr. Manners is my friend but hospitals smell funny and are scary. So I hit him as hard as I could.” He fell off the couch into his dad’s lap sobbing and saying, “I’m sorry; I was scared. I don’t mean to be bad. I’m sorry.”
Jensen ran his hands over Jamie’s hair. He hated the hospital too. He hated waiting outside the room, watching through the window as Dr. Manners poked needles into his unconscious son. He hated how well he’d gotten to know Dr. Manners. His arms tightened around Jamie’s shoulders as he said, “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here now. It’s okay, shush, it’s all okay. It’s okay that you hit him. You were scared and what he did was dangerous and mean. He’s the one who was bad. I’ll talk to his dad. It’s all okay, baby, shush.”
~~~
Jared kind of thought Adrianne was incredibly beautiful. And she smiled and said, “You guys want to set up in the kitchen?” She looked strained.
“What’s the matter?” asked Jared because he could tell something was up and really, he was a nice guy. Maybe this was a bad day and they should go back to the store and pick up someone else because this girl and Jensen both seemed like they were under serious pressure. He didn’t want to add to that even if a heartwarming episode about a guy taking care of his mentally challenged brother *would* rock the ratings.
She was about to answer when a shrill voice came from inside, nearly hysterical, “I didn’t want to go into ‘phylactic shock. ‘Cause I don’t like the needle going into my leg, and not feeling my hands, and my chest hurts, and I faint, and I wake up in the hospital. And I know that Dr. Manners is my friend but hospitals smell funny and are scary. So I hit him as hard as I could.”
Adrianne winced and said, “He got attacked by a classmate, nearly got covered in peanut butter, and now feels guilty because he punched the bastard who could have killed him. PS: Tim is supposed to be his best friend.”
Suddenly it all clicked and Jared realized why Jensen was so proud of Jamie not being a picky eater and why he was so damn careful. If Jared had a kid with allergies there was no way he’d let some TV cook into his house. And he would be so cautious of everything he bought, and he might wrap the kid in bubble wrap just to be safe. “Should we go?”
She blinked and said, “You’re his idol. If there is anyone who even approaches how awesome he thinks his dad is it’s you. I thought you only did couples?”
“I thought Jamie was his lover, he didn’t say son, just ‘my Jamie’.”
And suddenly the smile she gave him was genuine, “And you were gonna cook for two guys? That’s so great. I don’t ever expect that in Texas. Cool. I don’t know how good of an episode it would be because Jamie is going to go mad and squeal at you but if you want to come in it will make his year.”
Jared smiled and ducked his head as he walked into the house followed by the camera crew, “Awesome, I’ve never cooked for a kid on the show before, and Jensen and I came up with a great meal. It’s so grown up though.”
“Jamie loves all food. He watches Food Network all the time. It’s like he can eat it vicariously. I thought the menu was a secret?”
“Well I figured: I’m cooking for two guys one of whom has food allergies, why not break the formula?”
In the kitchen the guys started to set up cameras while Adrianne showed him where everything was.
continue
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