On a certain level you might have to accept that you may have to indulge in some unhealthy behavior until you feel ready to heal. Kate Bornstein once said something along the lines of "If you have to cut or starve yourself to feel better long enough to not kill yourself, then that's what you need to do." An extreme statement to be sure, but she's got a point. It's so easy for people to tell you to "get help" but much more complicated than that in reality.
For years I was undiagnosed bipolar and struggling on the inside with people telling me I "seem fine" on the outside and I know how hard it can be to be suffering in a functional way- it can lead people to underestimate how hard it is.
I used to go to the Chicago Women's Health Center and get sliding scale therapy for $25, now I see a therapist and a psychiatrist thru my insurance. I find being on my mood stabilizers (which are also used to treat PTSD) really help me feel my feelings without totally falling to pieces.
I've walked past this place near my house: http://www.griefcounselor.org/ they have individual group grief counseling and might be a good resource for you.
Please feel free to call, email whatever if you want to talk! One of the interesting things about finally getting my mental health issues worked out is I have emotional resources to be supportive to others who are struggling for the first time in my life, and it's awesome.
For years I was undiagnosed bipolar and struggling on the inside with people telling me I "seem fine" on the outside and I know how hard it can be to be suffering in a functional way- it can lead people to underestimate how hard it is.
I used to go to the Chicago Women's Health Center and get sliding scale therapy for $25, now I see a therapist and a psychiatrist thru my insurance. I find being on my mood stabilizers (which are also used to treat PTSD) really help me feel my feelings without totally falling to pieces.
I've walked past this place near my house: http://www.griefcounselor.org/ they have individual group grief counseling and might be a good resource for you.
Please feel free to call, email whatever if you want to talk! One of the interesting things about finally getting my mental health issues worked out is I have emotional resources to be supportive to others who are struggling for the first time in my life, and it's awesome.
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