Just past twenty six fighting fear with change and conquering all with love.
Some times i don't feel interesting. Then, it's like i know i am. In a way. However, i don't like that cocky, yes cocky was my word of choice, i laugh, as i was sayig i don't like that cocky feeling...after i think how very interesting i am. i've been at my reading again. i've been feeling all inspired and loved and sugary sweet and happy, overwhelmed with happiness and fear sometimes.The thing about that is, i haven't written a thing in ages. i felt like ineeded too... then i felt forced.. and today, i picked up jet magazine, which i do read from time to time. mostly i skim through the articles... but today, Jill Scott was on the cover, a singer.. she's got a powerful voice...a while back she was on the radio and i didnt really like the persona she had put on... but maybe i just took in the wrong way and again to give benefit... iw asn't there to feel what was going on at the time.. so anyways... i gave this jet magazine a chance today. and in it i foud this article about this medical student in arkansas, former olympian, who had been married to this surgeon that taught at the medical school he was attending... that sroty just jumped out at me ... it wasnt a prominant article and not the one i was looking to read anyway. so i read this little snippet... this guy appearrantly jumped to his death from the medschool building after alledgedly killing his wife the surgeon...i hadn't really come to any conclusion about that story... nor do i think it has any relevance to what i read after that... i finally found the story about Jill Scott... as i mentioned earlier... the singer... let me reflect back on a few of my thoughts in the past week or so... i had been bagging on myself that i hadn't been writting or singing or being that creative spirit that i normally am... i had fussed myself into a silly little stupor the other day and i got a burr under my tail to get busy so i went to the house and picked up the Artist's Way.. and said firmly to myself that i would be starting it.. SOON..right away, wooowooo... i was all fired up about it let me tell you. needless to say i'm a bum... havent started it yet. and still i bag upon myself... but i read this article and this chick was going on about how she'd been away from entertaining and been away from writing and it was OKAY... that she didnt write.... well she couldn't write ..becuase it was in there for her to write... and that she didn't control it anyway.. and i thought to myself.. humph... a lot of good she knows... but that thought was still in my mind... never the less... talk about being hammered home... Anita Baker... another singer... probably one that none who might read this know about to well... but she has this voice that just drips with sultriness...like its so full to bursting with a light passin that would have a man kneeling to love her everyday...she had commented on her 10 year haitus... that the music just wasnt there and that the words just weren't coming and that she had to sit and be still and they finally came... so alot of good i know for sure... so now i guess i need to work on that patience part of it...but it was like a veyr BIG answer to my very nagging little question..why can't i write... because the words just weren't there... the answer was in that little book that i hardly ever reallyread for substance... at most i just look at the pictures... i hav eto laugh at myslef actually... dp.... there is love... there is an equinox coming....there is harvest and time of abundance and plenty to be shared... lets remember that and see what we become...