Reflections on birthday fun and family
A friend, along with her 10 year old son and 12 year old daughter, took me out for my birthday tonight. We had some delicious pho, and then we went to Half Price Books. Although I am still working my way through three other books, I bought an Ian Rankin, that is, a Detective Rebus mystery. I've been meaning to read novels written by this Scottish mystery writer for some time. The excerpts from his books that I've read show him to be literary and stylish. Going to take a break from Tolstoy for a bit to read Rankin.
After our brief excursion through the book stacks, my friend took us to get some pie for dessert at a local diner, where our flowing, spontaneous discussion continued.
My friend's children are precociously verbal and have distinct personalities. The daughter wants to be a writer, and so I shared with her some tips. I'm proud of her because she is already submitting stories for publication! I told her she was encouraging me because I need to start sending essays out and risk rejection. I went on to add that almost every writer states that rejection is part of the game. Talking with her about the writing life and of our shared desire to become published writers was an awesome experience.
Her mother, a devoted Catholic - a very personable one at that: it helps that she is doing doctoral work in Psychology and knows so much about the human condition - and I discussed faith, child rearing, and both our families. Her generosity of spirit, even as she graciously but firmly speaks of her faith, and her always-ready laughter, render her a pleasant and interesting conversation partner. Not to mention that her compelling case studies drawn from social psychology explain a lot about interpersonal dynamics that I know little about. And, of course, we keep up - and by 'we', I mean me - the playful banter about catholic-protestant tensions. She's generous about Protestants, though, as I am regarding Catholics.
All of us kept returning to books, books, books. And I connected with the son too. He wants to be a football player, an idea that his mom gently opposes. We talked and talked, and for the first time in the year that I've known my friend, he became less impatient, and more earnest about his ideas and feelings. As we drove to my home, he even said something sweet and affirming about a situation I was discussing. I could tell his mom was touched because she said, "Aaahhhh..." I merely thanked him. (This exchange was also a good moment.)
I suggested another dinner outing sometime this week. I can tell the kids really like me and care about my opinions. In a way, with all the discussion of faith, books, and funny situations, it felt as if we were a non-smoking, less jaded, and expletive-less version of Salinger's Glass family (I will be re-reading Franny and Zooey soon enough!)
All that I can say at this time is that I like being a member of a family unit, wherein perhaps I can offer my experience and knowledge, while reciprocally receiving knowledge from different perspectives; affection also flowing among all parties. (They picked me up at 7:30pm and dropped me off at home at 11:30pm. Even as we sat in the car in my driveway - hand on door handle - the convivial discussion continued to flow. And right before stepping out, they sang happy birthday to me. I thanked them and then we had a group hug, albeit a twisty and uneven one because I was seated on the passenger's seat while the children sat on the backseat.)
I cleared my throat and laid out our conversation agenda for our next outing. The agenda is basically the themes and ideas we were discussing before we bottled them up, there in my driveway.
In short, I can see myself having a family some day. And what a collectively joyous experience tonight was. In a word: fulfilling. I'd like more of these evenings.
After our brief excursion through the book stacks, my friend took us to get some pie for dessert at a local diner, where our flowing, spontaneous discussion continued.
My friend's children are precociously verbal and have distinct personalities. The daughter wants to be a writer, and so I shared with her some tips. I'm proud of her because she is already submitting stories for publication! I told her she was encouraging me because I need to start sending essays out and risk rejection. I went on to add that almost every writer states that rejection is part of the game. Talking with her about the writing life and of our shared desire to become published writers was an awesome experience.
Her mother, a devoted Catholic - a very personable one at that: it helps that she is doing doctoral work in Psychology and knows so much about the human condition - and I discussed faith, child rearing, and both our families. Her generosity of spirit, even as she graciously but firmly speaks of her faith, and her always-ready laughter, render her a pleasant and interesting conversation partner. Not to mention that her compelling case studies drawn from social psychology explain a lot about interpersonal dynamics that I know little about. And, of course, we keep up - and by 'we', I mean me - the playful banter about catholic-protestant tensions. She's generous about Protestants, though, as I am regarding Catholics.
All of us kept returning to books, books, books. And I connected with the son too. He wants to be a football player, an idea that his mom gently opposes. We talked and talked, and for the first time in the year that I've known my friend, he became less impatient, and more earnest about his ideas and feelings. As we drove to my home, he even said something sweet and affirming about a situation I was discussing. I could tell his mom was touched because she said, "Aaahhhh..." I merely thanked him. (This exchange was also a good moment.)
I suggested another dinner outing sometime this week. I can tell the kids really like me and care about my opinions. In a way, with all the discussion of faith, books, and funny situations, it felt as if we were a non-smoking, less jaded, and expletive-less version of Salinger's Glass family (I will be re-reading Franny and Zooey soon enough!)
All that I can say at this time is that I like being a member of a family unit, wherein perhaps I can offer my experience and knowledge, while reciprocally receiving knowledge from different perspectives; affection also flowing among all parties. (They picked me up at 7:30pm and dropped me off at home at 11:30pm. Even as we sat in the car in my driveway - hand on door handle - the convivial discussion continued to flow. And right before stepping out, they sang happy birthday to me. I thanked them and then we had a group hug, albeit a twisty and uneven one because I was seated on the passenger's seat while the children sat on the backseat.)
I cleared my throat and laid out our conversation agenda for our next outing. The agenda is basically the themes and ideas we were discussing before we bottled them up, there in my driveway.
In short, I can see myself having a family some day. And what a collectively joyous experience tonight was. In a word: fulfilling. I'd like more of these evenings.