The equivalent of a stiff drink.
Well, today was all sorts of fantastic, including two bouts of drama, one "I may or may not have attempted to gatecrash Anime Boston with mixed results," one nearly-getting-hit-by-a-car because New Yorkers in SUVs are douchebags, and one in-house theft. (Seriously, who steals a plunger?)
And now my eye is twitching, which either means I need a stiff drink or sleep.
Instead, I'm staring at my screen, thinking of all the productive things I should be doing. I have most of AEM 27 mentally composed, but I haven't felt arsed to write it down yet. Yet, I want to do something with Bill before he makes me have more plot bunnies.
So instead... you know that part of A Study In Scarlet where Watson takes inventory of Holmes's library of knowledge? For my benefit (read: to keep things straight and avoid accidentally creating a Canon Sue), a full list of Bill's mental library, with comments and what I'd personally think are lulz thrown in.
Note: This post is divided up into eight key disciplines: mathematics, natural science, social science, history, the arts, literature, foreign languages, and other. Basically, part of what determined Latin Honors while I did my undergrad, with a few tweaks. It was a weird system.
In any case, from there, I basically cracked open my alma mater's academic program page and went wild. So this may not even include everything, but... I tried.
The Arts
Art History
Fun fact: Bill doesn't like keeping mental track of anything he doesn't think is relevant to his work or interests. Art history is one of them. He has no idea who the fuck Rembrandt is or why he should care about the definition of "art."
Studio Art
He's actually a half-decent to pretty awesome artist when it comes to Pokémon, probably because part of his job requires drawing diagrams and figures of Pokémon subjects. Well, that and he creates all of his costumes and clothing himself, so that should say enough right there. When it comes to drawing anything but Pokémon or clothing, however... um, good luck. And don't ask him about the names of techniques, either.
Dance
Probably the weirdest part of Bill's mental library. Because his mother was a kimono girl, he's well-versed in Japanese folk dances... that were, um, performed by women. There has been only one time this was useful to him, in one instance sometime during his college career that will forever be a Noodle Incident if he can help it. There is apparently a DVD containing a video of this (known only as the Infamous DVD) in Lanette's possession that Bebe is continuously trying to buy off her for reasons that certainly do not involve potential future blackmail. Besides that, Bill's dancing (if one could call it that) is mostly restricted to the kind of things people pull at raves when they're drunk. Which Bill certainly has never experienced.
Film
Probably because Bill's highly amused by the film industry's idea of the sciences, he's well-versed in genre film and appreciates anything from Alfred Hitchcock to James Cameron. (He's also a serious fan of kaiju film... the crappier and closer to Z-rated, the better.) He's by no means a film snob, however, and can't tell you the difference between a 1/2 shot and a 3/4 shot. He can, however, tell you just how crappy the special effects are and why a person can appreciate the unholy crappiness of said special effects. ...Bill has really questionable taste in film. (Inb4 "just film?")
Music
Has a keen interest in music in general. Music history is the only other type of history (scientific/natural history being the other) that Bill has ever cared to learn; he can name most of the important Renaissance composers and list off all of their work by date. Moreover, he can play many of these aforementioned pieces on the piano without sheet music. (He's very good at playing by ear.) He's also surprisingly well-versed in genres, with his MP3 library being notoriously eclectic. (The other programmers know exactly whose playlist is on random if Bach is followed by 90's pop and Norwegian black metal.)
Theatre
His research methods consist of LARPing. I'm pretty sure I don't have to say much more than that.
Foreign Languages
Classical Languages
Basic understanding of Latin and Greek. Mostly for science (literally).
Common (International Language)
Fluent; first language.
English
Fluent; third language.
French
Hilariously one of the only languages Bill has absolutely zero skill in. "Hilariously" used here because it's also the language he's tried the hardest to learn (because it's Lanette's second language). It's just that, for whatever reason, nothing he tries to absorb about the French language sticks except a scattering of words.
German
Proficient on a conversational level.
Japanese
Fluent; second language.
Romance Languages (besides French)
Basic (Portuguese, Italian) to conversational (Spanish) proficiency.
Language Arts (any language)
Bill can't write worth crap. Seriously. At the age of ten, he couldn't spell "Pokémon" (hilariously a canon point) despite being the completely literate son of a Pokémon expert, and he hasn't gotten that much better since. He's terrible at spelling, he barely grasps the basics of grammar, and there's a massive disconnect between how he words things in his head and what he actually writes. Some of the other programmers are vaguely surprised he's even literate, given how terrible his written language skills are. Or they would be if any of them knew that. Lanette proofreads his work and keeps the fact that he can't write worth crap a close-kept secret. And to add a cherry on top, his handwriting is barely legible. Which probably explains why none of the other programmers realize he's terrible at writing (because they can't read what he writes in the first place).
History
You know that saying, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"? Yeah, Bill's lucky that's not literal because hell if he knew anything about (non-scientific/natural) history. He has very little knowledge over the history of his own country (e.g., important figures, dates, wars, and so forth), for example, possibly to the extent where even Ash knows more about the subject than he does.
But what little knowledge he does know, when not tied to science (He has an extremely detailed mental library of all historical facts that can be somehow linked to science.), tends to be extremely random. He can, for example, name five of a particular king's mistresses. He can't, however, name more than five Japanese emperors.
Literature
LOL. Bill can barely tell you the difference between Chaucer and Swift, and he has no idea who Hemingway is. Literature in general, regardless of culture, is one of those things Bill's filed under his "why should I care" category. Most of it bores him, particularly if Pokémon aren't remotely involved, and he thought having to study it was a massive waste of his time. On the other hand, he, for whatever reason, can quote from random obscure works (and may or may not secretly be a fan of Jane Austen crappy YA lit completely masculine and respectable literature).
Also:
Classical Studies
HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS.
Comparative Literature
No, seriously. He has no idea what these mean.
English Literature
"That's not funny. :("
Mathematics
Expert. Pretty obviously, considering how much he uses it on a daily basis thanks to the engineering and let's-screw-with-physics part of his job. And abstract algebra excites him.
Natural Science
Astronomy
Decent understanding. Is mostly interested in the physics aspect of it, in part because "oh hey black holes break light and that is so cool." Only, you know, with a lot more talk about the event horizon and technical details.
Biology
Profound expertise. This is part of the basis of Pokéology (through the "no duh" connection to zoology), and it's generally assumed that every decent Pokémon researcher has some level of expertise when it comes to understanding how any living body works. With that in mind, Bill has a moderate to profound expertise in ethology (which he's best known for, actually), paleontology, biochemistry, anatomy and physiology (although he relies more on Lanette's knowledge of it, considering this is her particular field), biophysics (also Lanette's field, meaning Bill isn't quite as well-read in the subject as she is), genetics, botany (which he has a special hobby-like interest in), ecology, neurology, and biodiversity. He is not proficient in medicine (although as a side note, Lanette is), although he can be trusted with first aid (but not, you know, stitching closed a wound... which, incidentally, Lanette has had to do to him on more than one occasion, which probably explains why she's read-up on medicine while he isn't).
Chemistry
Considerable understanding, although Bill's skills in it are notably weaker than the ones he possesses for other scientific fields. As in, he grasps it better than most people, but he doesn't quite understand it as well as he does biology or psychology. Most of his knowledge in this field concerns biochemistry, complete with a scarily detailed mental library of poisons, antidotes... and volatile, flammable chemicals. It's probably better not to know why Bill is well-read in the latter. He's also well-versed in a number of psychoactive chemicals (read: drugs)... which is probably also something no one should ask about.
Geology
Considerable understanding on the same level as chemistry. Most of Bill's knowledge concerning geology centers around Pokéology (e.g., the composition of Rock-type Pokémon and their environments) or overlaps with his expertise in paleontology.
Physics
Proficient in it well enough to fuck its laws for fun and profit.
Psychology
Expert proficiency, probably due to the fact that he seems to study comparative psychology and ethology as if they're interchangeable concepts. Has a particular fascination with developmental, biological, and evolutionary psychology and is well-read on both behavioral and abnormal psychology for various other reasons. It's just that he has less of an interest in studying the human mind than he does in studying the Pokémon mind, and he makes no secret of this. That being said, he has very little clinical training and doesn't particularly appreciate it when people assume he can function as a psychotherapist. (Unless they pay him. And then he can fake it.)
Social Science
Anthropology/Sociology
Bill has very little interest in studying people. He gets basic concepts, but he couldn't really care less about these fields.
Economics
Has a moderate understanding of business. Otherwise, he's not particularly interested in it, and he seems to take it as only proof that humans are inherently silly.
Philosophy/Religion
Has a basic understanding of ethics, religion, and philosophy. Gets the entire idea of diversity and the basic idea behind the major religions. However, only holds any sort of expertise towards his own religion (Johtonian, the worship of Johto legendaries with a lot of Buddhism and Shinto thrown in for good measure). Can quote the Buddha and Confucius by heart.
Politics/Current Events
Infamously once revealed that he has no idea who the prime minister of Japan is. Keeping in mind he lives in Japan. Has a feeble understanding of how politics actually works beyond the definitions of what is and isn't legal or ethical. Fails to give a fuck about this.
On the other hand, he also has a decent understanding of various forms of activism, ranging from Pokémon rights to gender studies/equality, and he's well-versed in politics enough to make decent anti-war arguments whenever a conversation is steered that way. (Yes, the fact that he can talk about anti-war sentiments without knowing who the prime minister is baffles the other programmers too.) So... there's that.
Other
Computer Science
Um. Invented near Singularity-level technology? Classified as the universe's foremost gadgeteer genius to the point where TVTropes doesn't even bother listing anyone else by name as the franchise's example? Cybered the laws of physics with regards to time and space as if they were some horny basement-dwellers on Omegle? Yeah, okay, moving on.
Engineering
See above. If it's a field remotely related to technology, chances are Bill's scarily proficient in it.
Education
Bill has the patience to teach, but his effectiveness as a teacher is varied at best. Most of the time, he can water down his thought processes enough to explain them clearly to people like Ash, but there are times when he either forgets to do so or lets his cloud cuckoolander tendencies get in the way. (Tangents are a frequent problem with him, and sometimes, he forgets he's supposed to be making a point.) The end result is that he likes children and enjoys teaching them, but whether or not he actually can tends to depend on how distracted he is. And it's not particularly difficult to distract him.
Geek Culture
Bill (secretly) adores comic books (especially superhero ones), doesn't have the patience for video games (except music-themed ones like Rock Band or puzzle ones like Portal), is well-versed in internet culture (and trolling), and thinks the Pokémon world's equivalent of Summer Glau is hot an entertaining and respectable actress.
Sports
Ha.
Martial Arts
Depends. Bill has very little hand-to-hand combat training (which seems to be limited to disarming an attacker and very basic moves), but he's got a basic proficiency in parkour thanks to ten years of being late for school in a city like Goldenrod. (Meaning when it comes to fight or flight, Bill's trained for the "flight" part.) When it comes to Pokémon battling, he suffers from what's known as "battle fright," a stage-fright-like condition that causes him to shut down mentally on the battlefield unless pushed to act. So while he could actually be a decent battler (read: no one actually knows how well Bill can battle), he can't actually bring himself to fight to the best of his abilities.
Practical Knowledge (cooking, cleaning, common sense, et cetera)
Contrary to what the dub says, Bill lives on his own and can pretty much manage a household by himself. He's a decent (but not particularly awesome) cook and a pretty reliable handyman, mechanic, housekeeper, and bookkeeper. When it comes to common sense, however, this probably explains everything.
Did I forget anything? Probably. I may add to this already obscenely long list later.
This entry was cross-posted from http://mercoledi.dreamwidth.org/93716.html.
And now my eye is twitching, which either means I need a stiff drink or sleep.
Instead, I'm staring at my screen, thinking of all the productive things I should be doing. I have most of AEM 27 mentally composed, but I haven't felt arsed to write it down yet. Yet, I want to do something with Bill before he makes me have more plot bunnies.
So instead... you know that part of A Study In Scarlet where Watson takes inventory of Holmes's library of knowledge? For my benefit (read: to keep things straight and avoid accidentally creating a Canon Sue), a full list of Bill's mental library, with comments and what I'd personally think are lulz thrown in.
Note: This post is divided up into eight key disciplines: mathematics, natural science, social science, history, the arts, literature, foreign languages, and other. Basically, part of what determined Latin Honors while I did my undergrad, with a few tweaks. It was a weird system.
In any case, from there, I basically cracked open my alma mater's academic program page and went wild. So this may not even include everything, but... I tried.
The Arts
Art History
Fun fact: Bill doesn't like keeping mental track of anything he doesn't think is relevant to his work or interests. Art history is one of them. He has no idea who the fuck Rembrandt is or why he should care about the definition of "art."
Studio Art
He's actually a half-decent to pretty awesome artist when it comes to Pokémon, probably because part of his job requires drawing diagrams and figures of Pokémon subjects. Well, that and he creates all of his costumes and clothing himself, so that should say enough right there. When it comes to drawing anything but Pokémon or clothing, however... um, good luck. And don't ask him about the names of techniques, either.
Dance
Probably the weirdest part of Bill's mental library. Because his mother was a kimono girl, he's well-versed in Japanese folk dances... that were, um, performed by women. There has been only one time this was useful to him, in one instance sometime during his college career that will forever be a Noodle Incident if he can help it. There is apparently a DVD containing a video of this (known only as the Infamous DVD) in Lanette's possession that Bebe is continuously trying to buy off her for reasons that certainly do not involve potential future blackmail. Besides that, Bill's dancing (if one could call it that) is mostly restricted to the kind of things people pull at raves when they're drunk. Which Bill certainly has never experienced.
Film
Probably because Bill's highly amused by the film industry's idea of the sciences, he's well-versed in genre film and appreciates anything from Alfred Hitchcock to James Cameron. (He's also a serious fan of kaiju film... the crappier and closer to Z-rated, the better.) He's by no means a film snob, however, and can't tell you the difference between a 1/2 shot and a 3/4 shot. He can, however, tell you just how crappy the special effects are and why a person can appreciate the unholy crappiness of said special effects. ...Bill has really questionable taste in film. (Inb4 "just film?")
Music
Has a keen interest in music in general. Music history is the only other type of history (scientific/natural history being the other) that Bill has ever cared to learn; he can name most of the important Renaissance composers and list off all of their work by date. Moreover, he can play many of these aforementioned pieces on the piano without sheet music. (He's very good at playing by ear.) He's also surprisingly well-versed in genres, with his MP3 library being notoriously eclectic. (The other programmers know exactly whose playlist is on random if Bach is followed by 90's pop and Norwegian black metal.)
Theatre
His research methods consist of LARPing. I'm pretty sure I don't have to say much more than that.
Foreign Languages
Classical Languages
Basic understanding of Latin and Greek. Mostly for science (literally).
Common (International Language)
Fluent; first language.
English
Fluent; third language.
French
Hilariously one of the only languages Bill has absolutely zero skill in. "Hilariously" used here because it's also the language he's tried the hardest to learn (because it's Lanette's second language). It's just that, for whatever reason, nothing he tries to absorb about the French language sticks except a scattering of words.
German
Proficient on a conversational level.
Japanese
Fluent; second language.
Romance Languages (besides French)
Basic (Portuguese, Italian) to conversational (Spanish) proficiency.
Language Arts (any language)
Bill can't write worth crap. Seriously. At the age of ten, he couldn't spell "Pokémon" (hilariously a canon point) despite being the completely literate son of a Pokémon expert, and he hasn't gotten that much better since. He's terrible at spelling, he barely grasps the basics of grammar, and there's a massive disconnect between how he words things in his head and what he actually writes. Some of the other programmers are vaguely surprised he's even literate, given how terrible his written language skills are. Or they would be if any of them knew that. Lanette proofreads his work and keeps the fact that he can't write worth crap a close-kept secret. And to add a cherry on top, his handwriting is barely legible. Which probably explains why none of the other programmers realize he's terrible at writing (because they can't read what he writes in the first place).
History
You know that saying, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"? Yeah, Bill's lucky that's not literal because hell if he knew anything about (non-scientific/natural) history. He has very little knowledge over the history of his own country (e.g., important figures, dates, wars, and so forth), for example, possibly to the extent where even Ash knows more about the subject than he does.
But what little knowledge he does know, when not tied to science (He has an extremely detailed mental library of all historical facts that can be somehow linked to science.), tends to be extremely random. He can, for example, name five of a particular king's mistresses. He can't, however, name more than five Japanese emperors.
Literature
LOL. Bill can barely tell you the difference between Chaucer and Swift, and he has no idea who Hemingway is. Literature in general, regardless of culture, is one of those things Bill's filed under his "why should I care" category. Most of it bores him, particularly if Pokémon aren't remotely involved, and he thought having to study it was a massive waste of his time. On the other hand, he, for whatever reason, can quote from random obscure works (and may or may not secretly be a fan of Jane Austen crappy YA lit completely masculine and respectable literature).
Also:
Classical Studies
HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS.
Comparative Literature
No, seriously. He has no idea what these mean.
English Literature
"That's not funny. :("
Mathematics
Expert. Pretty obviously, considering how much he uses it on a daily basis thanks to the engineering and let's-screw-with-physics part of his job. And abstract algebra excites him.
Natural Science
Astronomy
Decent understanding. Is mostly interested in the physics aspect of it, in part because "oh hey black holes break light and that is so cool." Only, you know, with a lot more talk about the event horizon and technical details.
Biology
Profound expertise. This is part of the basis of Pokéology (through the "no duh" connection to zoology), and it's generally assumed that every decent Pokémon researcher has some level of expertise when it comes to understanding how any living body works. With that in mind, Bill has a moderate to profound expertise in ethology (which he's best known for, actually), paleontology, biochemistry, anatomy and physiology (although he relies more on Lanette's knowledge of it, considering this is her particular field), biophysics (also Lanette's field, meaning Bill isn't quite as well-read in the subject as she is), genetics, botany (which he has a special hobby-like interest in), ecology, neurology, and biodiversity. He is not proficient in medicine (although as a side note, Lanette is), although he can be trusted with first aid (but not, you know, stitching closed a wound... which, incidentally, Lanette has had to do to him on more than one occasion, which probably explains why she's read-up on medicine while he isn't).
Chemistry
Considerable understanding, although Bill's skills in it are notably weaker than the ones he possesses for other scientific fields. As in, he grasps it better than most people, but he doesn't quite understand it as well as he does biology or psychology. Most of his knowledge in this field concerns biochemistry, complete with a scarily detailed mental library of poisons, antidotes... and volatile, flammable chemicals. It's probably better not to know why Bill is well-read in the latter. He's also well-versed in a number of psychoactive chemicals (read: drugs)... which is probably also something no one should ask about.
Geology
Considerable understanding on the same level as chemistry. Most of Bill's knowledge concerning geology centers around Pokéology (e.g., the composition of Rock-type Pokémon and their environments) or overlaps with his expertise in paleontology.
Physics
Proficient in it well enough to fuck its laws for fun and profit.
Psychology
Expert proficiency, probably due to the fact that he seems to study comparative psychology and ethology as if they're interchangeable concepts. Has a particular fascination with developmental, biological, and evolutionary psychology and is well-read on both behavioral and abnormal psychology for various other reasons. It's just that he has less of an interest in studying the human mind than he does in studying the Pokémon mind, and he makes no secret of this. That being said, he has very little clinical training and doesn't particularly appreciate it when people assume he can function as a psychotherapist. (Unless they pay him. And then he can fake it.)
Social Science
Anthropology/Sociology
Bill has very little interest in studying people. He gets basic concepts, but he couldn't really care less about these fields.
Economics
Has a moderate understanding of business. Otherwise, he's not particularly interested in it, and he seems to take it as only proof that humans are inherently silly.
Philosophy/Religion
Has a basic understanding of ethics, religion, and philosophy. Gets the entire idea of diversity and the basic idea behind the major religions. However, only holds any sort of expertise towards his own religion (Johtonian, the worship of Johto legendaries with a lot of Buddhism and Shinto thrown in for good measure). Can quote the Buddha and Confucius by heart.
Politics/Current Events
Infamously once revealed that he has no idea who the prime minister of Japan is. Keeping in mind he lives in Japan. Has a feeble understanding of how politics actually works beyond the definitions of what is and isn't legal or ethical. Fails to give a fuck about this.
On the other hand, he also has a decent understanding of various forms of activism, ranging from Pokémon rights to gender studies/equality, and he's well-versed in politics enough to make decent anti-war arguments whenever a conversation is steered that way. (Yes, the fact that he can talk about anti-war sentiments without knowing who the prime minister is baffles the other programmers too.) So... there's that.
Other
Computer Science
Um. Invented near Singularity-level technology? Classified as the universe's foremost gadgeteer genius to the point where TVTropes doesn't even bother listing anyone else by name as the franchise's example? Cybered the laws of physics with regards to time and space as if they were some horny basement-dwellers on Omegle? Yeah, okay, moving on.
Engineering
See above. If it's a field remotely related to technology, chances are Bill's scarily proficient in it.
Education
Bill has the patience to teach, but his effectiveness as a teacher is varied at best. Most of the time, he can water down his thought processes enough to explain them clearly to people like Ash, but there are times when he either forgets to do so or lets his cloud cuckoolander tendencies get in the way. (Tangents are a frequent problem with him, and sometimes, he forgets he's supposed to be making a point.) The end result is that he likes children and enjoys teaching them, but whether or not he actually can tends to depend on how distracted he is. And it's not particularly difficult to distract him.
Geek Culture
Bill (secretly) adores comic books (especially superhero ones), doesn't have the patience for video games (except music-themed ones like Rock Band or puzzle ones like Portal), is well-versed in internet culture (and trolling), and thinks the Pokémon world's equivalent of Summer Glau is hot an entertaining and respectable actress.
Sports
Ha.
Martial Arts
Depends. Bill has very little hand-to-hand combat training (which seems to be limited to disarming an attacker and very basic moves), but he's got a basic proficiency in parkour thanks to ten years of being late for school in a city like Goldenrod. (Meaning when it comes to fight or flight, Bill's trained for the "flight" part.) When it comes to Pokémon battling, he suffers from what's known as "battle fright," a stage-fright-like condition that causes him to shut down mentally on the battlefield unless pushed to act. So while he could actually be a decent battler (read: no one actually knows how well Bill can battle), he can't actually bring himself to fight to the best of his abilities.
Practical Knowledge (cooking, cleaning, common sense, et cetera)
Contrary to what the dub says, Bill lives on his own and can pretty much manage a household by himself. He's a decent (but not particularly awesome) cook and a pretty reliable handyman, mechanic, housekeeper, and bookkeeper. When it comes to common sense, however, this probably explains everything.
Did I forget anything? Probably. I may add to this already obscenely long list later.
This entry was cross-posted from http://mercoledi.dreamwidth.org/93716.html.