[Fanmix] 31/12: the lovers, the dreamers, and me
Introduction/Commentary: Remember that Bill fanmix I said I was whipping up? Done!
Consider this a retelling of Bill's life, partially inspired by this and heavily inspired by wanting to see him as a strong, self-assured character who wasn't always that way. Will offer commentary/the snippet-story under the track listings. This is, however, only 10% of the music I associate the most with Bill thanks to the theme, and if anyone wants pieces or all of the rest, feel free to comment.
Credit for the back cover art comes from Pixiv.
There is a special edition that was meant to go out to someone (read: K, to avoid being too awkward or anything) who could use something awesome in her life right now, but any attempt at uploading it keeps trying to kill the net I'm using. x_x If you'd like to wait for it, I'll be back at my apartment instead of mooching off relatives in a week, or if you'd like to download just the fanmix for now, I could wrap up the extra features in a separate ZIP file. 'S up to you.
And one last note: this album tells two slightly different stories. The perkier one can be heard by playing the album forwards, starting with track 01. The darker one can be heard by playing the album backwards, starting with track 12. The commentary will cover both as much as possible. Have fun!
And evidently, I don't believe in short introductions. Without further delay...!
31/12: the lovers, the dreamers, and me
(a bill fanmix)
Mr. Blue Sky || Electric Light Orchestra
Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race!
A celebration, Mr. Blue Sky's up there waiting
And today is the day we've waited for
Forwards interpretation
An introduction. Outside, he says he can't complain. He has everything he ever wanted. Not wealth, not fame, not even truth: instead, a purpose. Inside, for the first time, he feels what he's been missing for years. He's absolutely, perfectly happy.
Backwards interpretation
...But you notice that he smiles just a little too much these days.
Rainbow Connection || Me First and the Gimme-Gimmes
Have you been half-asleep, and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be
Forwards interpretation
A man who's certain of being uncertain. This is who he really is. He's aware of a purpose deep inside himself, even though he can't put into specific words what, and he puts all of his heart and energy (of which he has more than plenty) into everything he does because, right now, he's free.
Backwards interpretation
A man who's certain of being uncertain. This is the closest he'll ever get to being free.
Major Tom (Coming Home) || Shiny Toy Guns
Far beneath the ship, the world is mourning
They don't realize he's alive!
No one understands, but Major Tom sees
"Now the light commands
This is my home
I'm coming home"
Forwards interpretation
An experiment. There's a fine line between genius and madness, and he doesn't care what side they think he's on. He performs the experiment anyway and fills his home with light and the smell of space and time being distorted. Who and what he is doesn't matter to him anymore. He's free.
Backwards interpretation
An experiment. They think he's crazy, and he's aware of this. He doesn't care anymore. He's home.
Human || The Killers
And I'm on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
Forwards interpretation
A point of confusion. He is a contradiction. A human who relates to monsters more than people; a caged animal for whom the door has been left open. He doesn't know yet which way he should stand, but he's learned to walk forward without looking back.
Backwards interpretation
A point of confusion. He is a contradiction. What does a bird do when you leave the cage door open?
Tonight, Tonight || The Smashing Pumpkins
Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave
Without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change, the less you feel
Believe, believe in me
Believe
Forwards interpretation
A faith. He has the power to change the world, but he doesn't know if this makes him a god or a puppet. He knows it doesn't make him human, and perhaps that is the answer he's looking for.
Backwards interpretation
A faith. He has the power to change the world, but he doesn't know if this makes him a puppet or a god. He knows it doesn't make him human, and perhaps that is the answer he's looking for.
Haunted || Poe
And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved and actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the promises I've made and others I have broken
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web inside my haunted head
Forwards interpretation
A lie. In the aftermath of a no, he remembers them. He swears he didn't forget, but he's secretly afraid they think he did.
Backwards interpretation
A truth. In the aftermath of a no, he remembers what he promised them years ago. It will save his life. Once it stops hurting him.
Everything You Want || Vertical Horizon
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be
Forwards interpretation
A frustration. He believes that to be human, he must be connected to another person with love. So he seeks the company of someone he thinks he can trust. It doesn't end well.
Backwards interpretation
A love. He believes that to be human, he must be connected to another person beyond just a sexual level. So he falls in love for the first and last time, just to see what it's like. It doesn't end well.
Bent || Matchbox 20
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around, I'll smile again
Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Well, just hold me again
Forwards interpretation
A lust. He wants to be human. He believes that understanding how to be human must involve exploring all of its facets. So he explores again and again and again until he finds himself face-to-face with the only person he thinks he can trust.
Backwards interpretation
A lust. He thinks it makes him human. It actually fucks him up in the worst ways possible.
Don't Look Back In Anger || Devendra Banhart
I want to live like all the boys
Dressed like girls dressed like boys who give me head
Give me head music instead
But don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger
I heard you say
Forwards interpretation
A want. He sees a window, and through it, he sees the outside world. He wonders what it would be like if he could just for one day be with all the people outside, but the window is locked.
Backwards interpretation
A want. Slipping away from the confines of his childhood, he begins to realize there's an entire world beyond the walls everyone put around him. He wonders what it's like to be a person on the other side and decides to try, just once, to be free.
Strawberry Fields Forever || Ben Harper
Always, no, sometimes think it's me
But you know I know when it's a dream (it's a dream)
I think I know I mean a yes, but it's all wrong
That is I think I disagree
Forwards interpretation
A haze. He's expected to know the answers, but he knows he doesn't know anything. So he escapes by any means possible. At first by defying the people who try to teach him. Then by experiments. Sometimes through mushroom-grown dreams. He wonders how many ways he's lost himself.
Backwards interpretation
A haze. He's expected to know the answers, but he knows he doesn't know anything. The more he tries to tell the adults this, the more they insist on building walls around him, thinking it would help direct him to an answer. But it doesn't, and the walls make him claustrophobic. So he tries to be free in his own way.
Are You Out There? || Dar Williams
They preach that I should save the world
They pray that I won't do a better job of it
Pray that I won't do a better job
So tonight I turned your station on just so I'd be understood
Instead another voice said that I was just too late
And just no good
Forwards interpretation
A war. A boy is found, analyzed, categorized, labeled, and defined. He knows they want to shape him restrict him, but he doesn't understand why they don't see him as a boy and nothing else. So he starts thinking of himself as a monster instead.
Backwards interpretation
A boy. He is found, analyzed, categorized, labeled, and defined, but he doesn't understand what's happening to him. The children talk about him now when they think he can't hear, and it's the first time he realizes he has no place in this world.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow || Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole
Well, I see trees of green and red roses too
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Forwards interpretation
A promise. A little boy swears to his sisters that he'll give them the world, and although he doesn't know how, he'll always know he means it.
Backwards interpretation
A promise. Underneath everything, he remembers them. Everything he's ever done was for them. He knows that he has a choice. He can be a god and give them the world, or he can be human and seek acceptance. He wants to give them the world.
[[download here]]
46.5 MB, .ZIP
This entry was cross-posted from http://mercoledi.dreamwidth.org/82617.html.
Consider this a retelling of Bill's life, partially inspired by this and heavily inspired by wanting to see him as a strong, self-assured character who wasn't always that way. Will offer commentary/the snippet-story under the track listings. This is, however, only 10% of the music I associate the most with Bill thanks to the theme, and if anyone wants pieces or all of the rest, feel free to comment.
Credit for the back cover art comes from Pixiv.
There is a special edition that was meant to go out to someone (read: K, to avoid being too awkward or anything) who could use something awesome in her life right now, but any attempt at uploading it keeps trying to kill the net I'm using. x_x If you'd like to wait for it, I'll be back at my apartment instead of mooching off relatives in a week, or if you'd like to download just the fanmix for now, I could wrap up the extra features in a separate ZIP file. 'S up to you.
And one last note: this album tells two slightly different stories. The perkier one can be heard by playing the album forwards, starting with track 01. The darker one can be heard by playing the album backwards, starting with track 12. The commentary will cover both as much as possible. Have fun!
And evidently, I don't believe in short introductions. Without further delay...!
31/12: the lovers, the dreamers, and me
(a bill fanmix)
Mr. Blue Sky || Electric Light Orchestra
Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race!
A celebration, Mr. Blue Sky's up there waiting
And today is the day we've waited for
Forwards interpretation
An introduction. Outside, he says he can't complain. He has everything he ever wanted. Not wealth, not fame, not even truth: instead, a purpose. Inside, for the first time, he feels what he's been missing for years. He's absolutely, perfectly happy.
Backwards interpretation
...But you notice that he smiles just a little too much these days.
Rainbow Connection || Me First and the Gimme-Gimmes
Have you been half-asleep, and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be
Forwards interpretation
A man who's certain of being uncertain. This is who he really is. He's aware of a purpose deep inside himself, even though he can't put into specific words what, and he puts all of his heart and energy (of which he has more than plenty) into everything he does because, right now, he's free.
Backwards interpretation
A man who's certain of being uncertain. This is the closest he'll ever get to being free.
Major Tom (Coming Home) || Shiny Toy Guns
Far beneath the ship, the world is mourning
They don't realize he's alive!
No one understands, but Major Tom sees
"Now the light commands
This is my home
I'm coming home"
Forwards interpretation
An experiment. There's a fine line between genius and madness, and he doesn't care what side they think he's on. He performs the experiment anyway and fills his home with light and the smell of space and time being distorted. Who and what he is doesn't matter to him anymore. He's free.
Backwards interpretation
An experiment. They think he's crazy, and he's aware of this. He doesn't care anymore. He's home.
Human || The Killers
And I'm on my knees
Looking for the answer
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
Forwards interpretation
A point of confusion. He is a contradiction. A human who relates to monsters more than people; a caged animal for whom the door has been left open. He doesn't know yet which way he should stand, but he's learned to walk forward without looking back.
Backwards interpretation
A point of confusion. He is a contradiction. What does a bird do when you leave the cage door open?
Tonight, Tonight || The Smashing Pumpkins
Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave
Without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change, the less you feel
Believe, believe in me
Believe
Forwards interpretation
A faith. He has the power to change the world, but he doesn't know if this makes him a god or a puppet. He knows it doesn't make him human, and perhaps that is the answer he's looking for.
Backwards interpretation
A faith. He has the power to change the world, but he doesn't know if this makes him a puppet or a god. He knows it doesn't make him human, and perhaps that is the answer he's looking for.
Haunted || Poe
And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved and actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the promises I've made and others I have broken
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web inside my haunted head
Forwards interpretation
A lie. In the aftermath of a no, he remembers them. He swears he didn't forget, but he's secretly afraid they think he did.
Backwards interpretation
A truth. In the aftermath of a no, he remembers what he promised them years ago. It will save his life. Once it stops hurting him.
Everything You Want || Vertical Horizon
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be
Forwards interpretation
A frustration. He believes that to be human, he must be connected to another person with love. So he seeks the company of someone he thinks he can trust. It doesn't end well.
Backwards interpretation
A love. He believes that to be human, he must be connected to another person beyond just a sexual level. So he falls in love for the first and last time, just to see what it's like. It doesn't end well.
Bent || Matchbox 20
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around, I'll smile again
Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Well, just hold me again
Forwards interpretation
A lust. He wants to be human. He believes that understanding how to be human must involve exploring all of its facets. So he explores again and again and again until he finds himself face-to-face with the only person he thinks he can trust.
Backwards interpretation
A lust. He thinks it makes him human. It actually fucks him up in the worst ways possible.
Don't Look Back In Anger || Devendra Banhart
I want to live like all the boys
Dressed like girls dressed like boys who give me head
Give me head music instead
But don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger
I heard you say
Forwards interpretation
A want. He sees a window, and through it, he sees the outside world. He wonders what it would be like if he could just for one day be with all the people outside, but the window is locked.
Backwards interpretation
A want. Slipping away from the confines of his childhood, he begins to realize there's an entire world beyond the walls everyone put around him. He wonders what it's like to be a person on the other side and decides to try, just once, to be free.
Strawberry Fields Forever || Ben Harper
Always, no, sometimes think it's me
But you know I know when it's a dream (it's a dream)
I think I know I mean a yes, but it's all wrong
That is I think I disagree
Forwards interpretation
A haze. He's expected to know the answers, but he knows he doesn't know anything. So he escapes by any means possible. At first by defying the people who try to teach him. Then by experiments. Sometimes through mushroom-grown dreams. He wonders how many ways he's lost himself.
Backwards interpretation
A haze. He's expected to know the answers, but he knows he doesn't know anything. The more he tries to tell the adults this, the more they insist on building walls around him, thinking it would help direct him to an answer. But it doesn't, and the walls make him claustrophobic. So he tries to be free in his own way.
Are You Out There? || Dar Williams
They preach that I should save the world
They pray that I won't do a better job of it
Pray that I won't do a better job
So tonight I turned your station on just so I'd be understood
Instead another voice said that I was just too late
And just no good
Forwards interpretation
A war. A boy is found, analyzed, categorized, labeled, and defined. He knows they want to shape him restrict him, but he doesn't understand why they don't see him as a boy and nothing else. So he starts thinking of himself as a monster instead.
Backwards interpretation
A boy. He is found, analyzed, categorized, labeled, and defined, but he doesn't understand what's happening to him. The children talk about him now when they think he can't hear, and it's the first time he realizes he has no place in this world.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow || Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole
Well, I see trees of green and red roses too
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Forwards interpretation
A promise. A little boy swears to his sisters that he'll give them the world, and although he doesn't know how, he'll always know he means it.
Backwards interpretation
A promise. Underneath everything, he remembers them. Everything he's ever done was for them. He knows that he has a choice. He can be a god and give them the world, or he can be human and seek acceptance. He wants to give them the world.
[[download here]]
46.5 MB, .ZIP
This entry was cross-posted from http://mercoledi.dreamwidth.org/82617.html.