Posting here for the benefit of a lock. ACTUALLY A FANDOM ENTRY FOR ONCE.
THINGS I NEED TO START DOING:
READING FICS BEFORE AGREEING TO REVIEW THEM.
THINGS I AM DOING AS A RESULT OF FAILING AT THE ABOVE:
READING A FIC WHICH CONTAINS THE LINE, “At that, [Arceus] nodded in understanding, before asking, ‘Would you like someone to come along with you in case there are any Holocaust deniers throughout your journey?’”
SEND HELP.
WARNING: TRIGGERS FOR RAPE, ZOOPHILIA, VIOLENCE, SERIOUS ABUSE, AND TALKS ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST. YES, THIS FIC WAS ON AFF. I WAS STUPID AND ACCEPTED A REVIEW REQUEST, OKAY?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THESE GIRLS ARE. THE AUTHOR PROBABLY ESTABLISHED WHO THESE GIRLS ARE IN THE OPENING PARAGRAPH, BUT I TL;DR’D IT. OKAY, MORE LIKE SKIPPED IT AS SOON AS IT OPENED WITH “SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING DEFEAT OF GANON.” I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT OF THE REST OF THE CHAPTER.
ARCEUS IS LUCAS’S FATHER. I’M SO CONFUSED. I THOUGHT HE WAS ASH’S.
IS THIS HEAVEN? ARE THESE CHARACTERS DEAD? THERE’S A NOT-SO-SUBTLE REFERENCE TO HOLOCAUST TATTOOS ON ONE GIRL’S ARM.
GUYS, IF A CIS-FEMALE IN HER TEENS OR OVER THE AGE OF CONSENT DOESN’T HAVE A WOMANLIKE BODY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? (DO NOT FUCKING LINK ME TO DANGAN RONPA REFERENCES I SWEAR TO GOD.)
I’M HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE FACT THAT THIS AUTHOR IS TRYING TO MAKE HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS HOT. DOES THAT MAKE ME A BAD LESBIAN?
I DON’T KNOW, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE WEARING EMBLEMS FROM CHRISTIANITY AND A PAGAN GOD AS IF YOU’RE ALLOWED TO HAVE THREE RELIGIONS AT ONCE WOULD MAKE THESE PEOPLE BAD JEWS. THERE’S SORT OF A COMMANDMENT ABOUT THIS SHIT.
WHERE THE FUCK DID REAL-WORLD HORSES COME FROM. I’M SO CONFUSED.
WHY IS IT RELEVANT HOW ASH CAUGHT HIS TAU-
NO.
NO, FUCK THIS.
I’M NOT GOING TO TRY TO MAKE SENSE OF EVERY LITTLE THING IN THIS FIC.
IT STARS FUCKING HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS. HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS WHO HAVE BEEN DESCRIBED AS HAVING HUGE RACKS, WHAT THE FUCK.
THEY MEET HOLOCAUST DENIERS IN VIRIDIAN CITY.
NO, THAT’S IT. THERE’S NO DESCRIPTION OR ANYTHING. IT’S JUST STATED AS BEING A THING THAT HAPPENED. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON ANYMORE.
AND THEN THEY PASS SARIA, SOME LEGEND OF ZELDA CHARACTER, WHO IS PLAYING MUSIC WHILE CELEBI AND SOME OTHER APPARENTLY MYTHICAL CHARACTER ARE DANCING NEARBY. AND THEN THEY CONTINUE ON AS IF THAT’S NOT A REMARKABLE THING. IT’S LIKE, “OH, THIS ELF CHICK JUST CROSSED DIMENSIONS AND IS PLAYING MUSIC WITH THE FUCKING GOD OF FORESTS AND TIME. JUST ANOTHER TUESDAY FOR US! LET’S GO THROW ROCKS AT WEEDLE.”
AND THEN THEY FIND N JUST CHILLIN’ OUT ON THE GROUND. AND BY CHILLIN’ OUT, I MEAN BEATEN TO AN INCH OF HIS LIFE. AND LUCAS ASKS ABOUT HIS ZEKROM BECAUSE FUCK HUMAN SYMPATHY.
SPEAKING OF SYMPATHY, IT’S REVEALED THAT THE THREE GIRLS WERE TRANSPORTED ACROSS TIME BY CELEBI. LET THAT SINK IN A LITTLE. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DIED, AND CELEBI JUST SAVES THESE THREE BECAUSE THAT’S ITS DUTY AS A LEGENDARY POKEMON. CELEBI, YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO FUCKING KILL HITLER, AND THAT’S WHAT YOU DO? IT’S BECAUSE OF THE TITTIES, ISN’T IT.
N EXPRESSES CONCERN TOWARDS THE ABUSE OF HIS ZEKROM, AND THEN WITHOUT SKIPPING A BEAT, HE ASKS TO TALK ABOUT MODEL TRAINS. DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT HE IS CURRENTLY IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE GHETSIS DIDN’T FEED HIM FOR THREE MONTHS AND THEN PROCEEDED TO BEAT HIM UNTIL N’S RIBS AND ARM BROKE? NO, THAT IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION. N DID NOT EAT ACTUAL FOOD FOR THREE MONTHS. HE IS CLEARLY POKE-BUDDHA.
ALSO HOW THE FUCK DOES LUCAS KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT MODEL TRAINS?
AND HOW THE FUCK DOES N KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUTUBE POOP?
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THE FACT THAT THE AUTHOR KNOWS THIS MUCH ABOUT MODEL TRAINS AND YOUTUBE POOP TELLS ME SO MUCH MORE THAN I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT HIM?
PIDGEOTTO WITH A STAR-OF-DAVID BIRTHMARK. DOES THAT MEAN IT’S KOSHER NO MATTER WHAT, OR DO WE STILL NEED A RABBI TO OVERSEE THE BUTCHERING?
I FEEL LIKE “SHE-PALKIA” AND “SHE-ARCEUS” WOULD BE GREAT CONCEPTS FOR CHEESY LATE 70’S/EARLY 80’S COMIC AND CARTOON CHARACTERS. LIKE SHE-HULK, ONLY WITH MORE IMPLIED BESTIALITY.
THE CHAPTER ENDS WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS BEING SURROUNDED BY GHOSTS OF HOLOCAUST VICTIMS. THE HOLOCAUST VICTIMS ARE TELLING THEM WHO THEY’D LIKE THEIR NEW MOTHERS TO BE ONCE THEY REINCARNATE. MOST OF THEM WANT TO BE REBORN TO POKEMON MOTHERS, AND THIS IS SOMEHOW NOT THE LEAST BIT CREEPY.
JEWS AND CHRISTIANS DON’T EVEN BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION. WTF.
NO, THAT IS NOT THE ONLY THING I FIND CREEPY ABOUT THIS SCENE.
THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST CHAPTER OUT OF FORTY-SIX, AND THE AUTHOR WANTS ME TO LOOK AT THIS AND THE OTHER STORIES HE PUT UP. I’VE LOOKED AT THE AFOREMENTIONED OTHER STORIES. ONE OF THEM INVOLVES ASH AND THE MLP CAST HAVING A NIGHT MARE MOON SUN/FIRE-THEMED RIP-OFF UNDERGO AN AGNI KAI. ANOTHER USES THE TERM “THE GAANG” AS A SERIOUS NOUN. THE LAST HAS THE WORDS “I DO NOT OWN POKEMON, THE BIBLE, OR ZELDA” IN ITS DISCLAIMER, AND PARTWAY THROUGH THE FIRST CHAPTER, A HYLIAN DUDE HOOKS UP WITH A NINETALES. YES, THAT KIND OF HOOKING UP.
HE WANTS ME TO REVIEW THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO.
(THE ANSWER SHOULDN’T BE DEAL WITH THE FIRST ONE THE WAY I DEAL WITH ALL TRAINER FICS. BECAUSE THAT ENTAILS SKIPPING TO THE BILL CHAPTER AND DECIDING FROM IT WHETHER I WANT TO RUN AWAY SCREAMING OR SUCK IT UP, AND I’M FRANKLY TERRIFIED TO KNOW WHAT THE BILL CHAPTER IS LIKE. IT’S ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT ZOOPHILIA IS OKAY IN THIS UNIVERSE.)
UPDATE: SKIMMED THE REST OF THE FIRST FIC. BILL IS NOT IN THIS AT ALL. *clings to him* IT'S OKAY, BABY. YOU'VE BEEN SAVED.
BUT THERE IS A CHAPTER LATER ON THAT ADVOCATES SEX SLAVERY AS AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT FOR RAPE. ABORT THE FUCKING MISSION.
This entry was cross-posted from http://mercoledi.dreamwidth.org/123942.html.
READING FICS BEFORE AGREEING TO REVIEW THEM.
THINGS I AM DOING AS A RESULT OF FAILING AT THE ABOVE:
READING A FIC WHICH CONTAINS THE LINE, “At that, [Arceus] nodded in understanding, before asking, ‘Would you like someone to come along with you in case there are any Holocaust deniers throughout your journey?’”
SEND HELP.
WARNING: TRIGGERS FOR RAPE, ZOOPHILIA, VIOLENCE, SERIOUS ABUSE, AND TALKS ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST. YES, THIS FIC WAS ON AFF. I WAS STUPID AND ACCEPTED A REVIEW REQUEST, OKAY?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THESE GIRLS ARE. THE AUTHOR PROBABLY ESTABLISHED WHO THESE GIRLS ARE IN THE OPENING PARAGRAPH, BUT I TL;DR’D IT. OKAY, MORE LIKE SKIPPED IT AS SOON AS IT OPENED WITH “SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING DEFEAT OF GANON.” I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT OF THE REST OF THE CHAPTER.
ARCEUS IS LUCAS’S FATHER. I’M SO CONFUSED. I THOUGHT HE WAS ASH’S.
IS THIS HEAVEN? ARE THESE CHARACTERS DEAD? THERE’S A NOT-SO-SUBTLE REFERENCE TO HOLOCAUST TATTOOS ON ONE GIRL’S ARM.
GUYS, IF A CIS-FEMALE IN HER TEENS OR OVER THE AGE OF CONSENT DOESN’T HAVE A WOMANLIKE BODY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? (DO NOT FUCKING LINK ME TO DANGAN RONPA REFERENCES I SWEAR TO GOD.)
I’M HIGHLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE FACT THAT THIS AUTHOR IS TRYING TO MAKE HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS HOT. DOES THAT MAKE ME A BAD LESBIAN?
I DON’T KNOW, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE WEARING EMBLEMS FROM CHRISTIANITY AND A PAGAN GOD AS IF YOU’RE ALLOWED TO HAVE THREE RELIGIONS AT ONCE WOULD MAKE THESE PEOPLE BAD JEWS. THERE’S SORT OF A COMMANDMENT ABOUT THIS SHIT.
WHERE THE FUCK DID REAL-WORLD HORSES COME FROM. I’M SO CONFUSED.
WHY IS IT RELEVANT HOW ASH CAUGHT HIS TAU-
NO.
NO, FUCK THIS.
I’M NOT GOING TO TRY TO MAKE SENSE OF EVERY LITTLE THING IN THIS FIC.
IT STARS FUCKING HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS. HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS WHO HAVE BEEN DESCRIBED AS HAVING HUGE RACKS, WHAT THE FUCK.
THEY MEET HOLOCAUST DENIERS IN VIRIDIAN CITY.
NO, THAT’S IT. THERE’S NO DESCRIPTION OR ANYTHING. IT’S JUST STATED AS BEING A THING THAT HAPPENED. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON ANYMORE.
AND THEN THEY PASS SARIA, SOME LEGEND OF ZELDA CHARACTER, WHO IS PLAYING MUSIC WHILE CELEBI AND SOME OTHER APPARENTLY MYTHICAL CHARACTER ARE DANCING NEARBY. AND THEN THEY CONTINUE ON AS IF THAT’S NOT A REMARKABLE THING. IT’S LIKE, “OH, THIS ELF CHICK JUST CROSSED DIMENSIONS AND IS PLAYING MUSIC WITH THE FUCKING GOD OF FORESTS AND TIME. JUST ANOTHER TUESDAY FOR US! LET’S GO THROW ROCKS AT WEEDLE.”
AND THEN THEY FIND N JUST CHILLIN’ OUT ON THE GROUND. AND BY CHILLIN’ OUT, I MEAN BEATEN TO AN INCH OF HIS LIFE. AND LUCAS ASKS ABOUT HIS ZEKROM BECAUSE FUCK HUMAN SYMPATHY.
SPEAKING OF SYMPATHY, IT’S REVEALED THAT THE THREE GIRLS WERE TRANSPORTED ACROSS TIME BY CELEBI. LET THAT SINK IN A LITTLE. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DIED, AND CELEBI JUST SAVES THESE THREE BECAUSE THAT’S ITS DUTY AS A LEGENDARY POKEMON. CELEBI, YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO FUCKING KILL HITLER, AND THAT’S WHAT YOU DO? IT’S BECAUSE OF THE TITTIES, ISN’T IT.
N EXPRESSES CONCERN TOWARDS THE ABUSE OF HIS ZEKROM, AND THEN WITHOUT SKIPPING A BEAT, HE ASKS TO TALK ABOUT MODEL TRAINS. DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT HE IS CURRENTLY IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE GHETSIS DIDN’T FEED HIM FOR THREE MONTHS AND THEN PROCEEDED TO BEAT HIM UNTIL N’S RIBS AND ARM BROKE? NO, THAT IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION. N DID NOT EAT ACTUAL FOOD FOR THREE MONTHS. HE IS CLEARLY POKE-BUDDHA.
ALSO HOW THE FUCK DOES LUCAS KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT MODEL TRAINS?
AND HOW THE FUCK DOES N KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUTUBE POOP?
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THE FACT THAT THE AUTHOR KNOWS THIS MUCH ABOUT MODEL TRAINS AND YOUTUBE POOP TELLS ME SO MUCH MORE THAN I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT HIM?
PIDGEOTTO WITH A STAR-OF-DAVID BIRTHMARK. DOES THAT MEAN IT’S KOSHER NO MATTER WHAT, OR DO WE STILL NEED A RABBI TO OVERSEE THE BUTCHERING?
I FEEL LIKE “SHE-PALKIA” AND “SHE-ARCEUS” WOULD BE GREAT CONCEPTS FOR CHEESY LATE 70’S/EARLY 80’S COMIC AND CARTOON CHARACTERS. LIKE SHE-HULK, ONLY WITH MORE IMPLIED BESTIALITY.
THE CHAPTER ENDS WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS BEING SURROUNDED BY GHOSTS OF HOLOCAUST VICTIMS. THE HOLOCAUST VICTIMS ARE TELLING THEM WHO THEY’D LIKE THEIR NEW MOTHERS TO BE ONCE THEY REINCARNATE. MOST OF THEM WANT TO BE REBORN TO POKEMON MOTHERS, AND THIS IS SOMEHOW NOT THE LEAST BIT CREEPY.
JEWS AND CHRISTIANS DON’T EVEN BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION. WTF.
NO, THAT IS NOT THE ONLY THING I FIND CREEPY ABOUT THIS SCENE.
THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST CHAPTER OUT OF FORTY-SIX, AND THE AUTHOR WANTS ME TO LOOK AT THIS AND THE OTHER STORIES HE PUT UP. I’VE LOOKED AT THE AFOREMENTIONED OTHER STORIES. ONE OF THEM INVOLVES ASH AND THE MLP CAST HAVING A NIGHT MARE MOON SUN/FIRE-THEMED RIP-OFF UNDERGO AN AGNI KAI. ANOTHER USES THE TERM “THE GAANG” AS A SERIOUS NOUN. THE LAST HAS THE WORDS “I DO NOT OWN POKEMON, THE BIBLE, OR ZELDA” IN ITS DISCLAIMER, AND PARTWAY THROUGH THE FIRST CHAPTER, A HYLIAN DUDE HOOKS UP WITH A NINETALES. YES, THAT KIND OF HOOKING UP.
HE WANTS ME TO REVIEW THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO.
(THE ANSWER SHOULDN’T BE DEAL WITH THE FIRST ONE THE WAY I DEAL WITH ALL TRAINER FICS. BECAUSE THAT ENTAILS SKIPPING TO THE BILL CHAPTER AND DECIDING FROM IT WHETHER I WANT TO RUN AWAY SCREAMING OR SUCK IT UP, AND I’M FRANKLY TERRIFIED TO KNOW WHAT THE BILL CHAPTER IS LIKE. IT’S ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT ZOOPHILIA IS OKAY IN THIS UNIVERSE.)
UPDATE: SKIMMED THE REST OF THE FIRST FIC. BILL IS NOT IN THIS AT ALL. *clings to him* IT'S OKAY, BABY. YOU'VE BEEN SAVED.
BUT THERE IS A CHAPTER LATER ON THAT ADVOCATES SEX SLAVERY AS AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT FOR RAPE. ABORT THE FUCKING MISSION.
This entry was cross-posted from http://mercoledi.dreamwidth.org/123942.html.