Advent Calendar Fic: Sontarans on Ice!
This is not a drabble. This is what happens when you live with the person who gives you a weird prompt.
Bill: I want Thomas/Lightning McQueen slash.
Me: No.
Last year, my husband Bill requested Weasleys on a TARDIS. He seems to have a thing for crossovers.
Bill: I want Sherlock interviewing Donna.
Me: Why is he interviewing her?
Bill: Not my problem. But wouldn’t that be awesome?
It would be. I’m not sure who would win. Probably Donna, but Sherlock would complain about it afterwards.
Bill: Are you working on my prompt?
Me: You haven’t left it yet. I’ve told people to hurry and fill up the slots before you do.
Bill: Are they full?
Me: ………..No.
Bill: *gets on computer*
There are reasons I haven’t introduced Bill to the Kink Meme yet. I’m afraid of what he’d leave there.
*slow exhale*
-
Bill: I’m thinking Ice Capades. Like, a whole bunch of Sontarans think it’s actually a war demonstration, so they buy out a whole section and take a platoon, and that’s where they discover popcorn.
I’m thinking that the urge to write fanfiction is totally wasted on me, sometimes.
So I ponder for a while, because I honestly have no idea how I’m going to write this. I mean, I keep coming up with all these ideas, but the problem is they’re all visual, and I don’t have time to really create anything majorly visual.
And then I get this plan. Bill wants a Sontaran on ice? Well…THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE’S GOING TO GET.
So, one morning, while Andrew’s at school and Bill’s at work, I go hunting on the internet, and find a picture of a Sontaran.
I print it out.
I line a rimmed cookie sheet with plastic wrap.
I fill it with water and put in the photo.
I freeze it.
(Twice.)
I leave it propped up in the freezer. About six hours later:
Bill: I need ice cream.
I wasn’t in the kitchen at the time. I like to imagine Bill opening the freezer, staring at it, closing the freezer, thinking about it, and opening the freezer again, before finally closing it and coming to look for me.
Bill: So.
Me: Hi!
Bill: Um.
Me: Yes?
Bill: Is there a Sontaran in our freezer?
Me: He’s on ice.
Bill:
Me:
Bill:
Me:
Bill: Oh my God.
Me: THERE’S A SONTARAN IN OUR FREEZER, ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME?
Bill: I just wanted ice cream!
Me: Can I take a picture of you next to him?
Me: Oh, come on, smile, it’s funny!
Bill: I’m trying to match his expression.
Me: It’s a little funny, isn’t it?
Bill: It’s very funny.
Me: Do you like it?
Bill: I do. I didn’t expect this.
Me: Is it better than a drabble?
Bill: It’s way better than a drabble.
Me: Can we keep him?
Bill: Yeah, sure.
(He’s still in the freezer, guarding the ice cream.)
Bill: I want Thomas/Lightning McQueen slash.
Me: No.
Last year, my husband Bill requested Weasleys on a TARDIS. He seems to have a thing for crossovers.
Bill: I want Sherlock interviewing Donna.
Me: Why is he interviewing her?
Bill: Not my problem. But wouldn’t that be awesome?
It would be. I’m not sure who would win. Probably Donna, but Sherlock would complain about it afterwards.
Bill: Are you working on my prompt?
Me: You haven’t left it yet. I’ve told people to hurry and fill up the slots before you do.
Bill: Are they full?
Me: ………..No.
Bill: *gets on computer*
There are reasons I haven’t introduced Bill to the Kink Meme yet. I’m afraid of what he’d leave there.
*slow exhale*
-
Bill: I’m thinking Ice Capades. Like, a whole bunch of Sontarans think it’s actually a war demonstration, so they buy out a whole section and take a platoon, and that’s where they discover popcorn.
I’m thinking that the urge to write fanfiction is totally wasted on me, sometimes.
So I ponder for a while, because I honestly have no idea how I’m going to write this. I mean, I keep coming up with all these ideas, but the problem is they’re all visual, and I don’t have time to really create anything majorly visual.
And then I get this plan. Bill wants a Sontaran on ice? Well…THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE’S GOING TO GET.
So, one morning, while Andrew’s at school and Bill’s at work, I go hunting on the internet, and find a picture of a Sontaran.
I print it out.
I line a rimmed cookie sheet with plastic wrap.
I fill it with water and put in the photo.
I freeze it.
(Twice.)
I leave it propped up in the freezer. About six hours later:
Bill: I need ice cream.
I wasn’t in the kitchen at the time. I like to imagine Bill opening the freezer, staring at it, closing the freezer, thinking about it, and opening the freezer again, before finally closing it and coming to look for me.
Bill: So.
Me: Hi!
Bill: Um.
Me: Yes?
Bill: Is there a Sontaran in our freezer?
Me: He’s on ice.
Bill:
Me:
Bill:
Me:
Bill: Oh my God.
Me: THERE’S A SONTARAN IN OUR FREEZER, ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME?
Bill: I just wanted ice cream!
Me: Can I take a picture of you next to him?
Me: Oh, come on, smile, it’s funny!
Bill: I’m trying to match his expression.
Me: It’s a little funny, isn’t it?
Bill: It’s very funny.
Me: Do you like it?
Bill: I do. I didn’t expect this.
Me: Is it better than a drabble?
Bill: It’s way better than a drabble.
Me: Can we keep him?
Bill: Yeah, sure.
(He’s still in the freezer, guarding the ice cream.)