Conversation repeated several times today:

[azriona]

Me: Andrew, your nose is running. Let me take care of that for you.
Andrew: Nose? What nose? I don't have a nose.
Me: Yes, you do. Here's a Kleenex. Let me just wipe....
Andrew: WHAT THE BLAZING DIAPER DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO ME?
Me: Hold...still....
Andrew: TORTURE. TORTURE. PAIN AND SUFFERING.
Me: This...won't...take...a....moment.
Andrew: KITTY, KITTY, HELP ME!!!!!!
Me: Jeez, Andrew, don't you want to be able to breathe?
Andrew: OH, THE HUMANITY.