Nope. No suggestions there. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Well if your going to continue with your charm there, I suppose I'll just stop dodging the general question. I'm holding up well; I'm able to do well in work and everything else. Yet when I say I'm fine it feels like I'm lying. Hard to describe; it's like I carry on with life like always, yet it seems I left my soul behind somewhere. I don't have much regret or conscience about anything I do, and if I act like I do it's mostly out of some dark humour of my own. Like I ask permission to do things just out of amusement and I would still do them even if the person said 'no'. I can't feel genuinely happy about anything, and the most there is is a faint shadow of happiness, that elusively escapes me whenever I try to grasp it. The only emotions I seem to genuinely feel are negative ones, like rage or disdain.
I've got another stalker. A girl this time. I don't know what's up with her; apparently she was an acquaintance of Laura's. I've only actually met her a couple brief times, and yet she feels she has the right to act very familiar with me. I don't even hide the fact that I'm not interested with doing any activities with her or her friends, yet it seems to bounce off her or something. She even comes to my work apparently to find out what times she might visit me, and calls herself my friend. As if she's known me for years. It seems disrespectful to make such a claim when she doesn't even really know me. Or perhaps she feels the need to take pity on me for some reason. It's annoying and I tend to ignore her. (Even though she has my phone number, I don't know how the fuck she got it, I suspect Robert must have given it to her, sounds like something he'd do.)
(And I can't seem to get any projects started.)
And a co-worker seems to be a bit too clingy and she makes me nervous somehow.
And I hate more things than like them. Now if that's enough I think I should get back to work. Oh and it seems that lately I've become a bit of a sarcastic asshole, so you should probably not take too much heed to my words.
...I can relate. There's lots of faking going on here, too. Mainly because "Would you please (x)" is a lot more likely to be listened to than a straight out demand, and "Thank you" sounds nice than "About damn time." Just because it's not always heartfelt wouldn't excuse me being a dick at everyone, after all.
So even someone who might just want to be friends with you is a stalker? Heh, now I'm glad I didn't start off on the wrong foot with you. You could always ask Robert if he did, and ask him/tell him not to do it again. I'd get pretty angry if people gave out my phone number without my permission.
(Meanwhile, I can't seem to get any projects finishes. Equally irritating, but not exactly new.)
...you say that as if I'd have the chance to interrupt you.
I'm glad I still get to pester you into sharing. And don't worry, I'm fluent in "sarcastic asshole" and translate it appropriately.
Faking? I guess so..didn't really think of that. Or at least it's more subconciously being done. I don't know, it's like the reasoning part of me is separate from the emotional part of me, and of course the reasoning part seems to show more. I kind of feel at odds with myself, because for all I know I should be happy. There really isn't any reason why I shouldn't feel completely satisfied right now; so I figure that I should feel fine. And thus can't understand why it would be otherwise. I guess it kind of feels like something's missing. I don't know.
(Personally I think it'd be amusing for you to substitute it with "about damn time" and such. If you're having a bad day you really don't need to do the fake politeness around me at least.)
No; I'm pretty good at reading people. She doesn't really want to be my friend. Not what I would consider one. Would it help if I said she was from the church singles ward that I used to kind of go to? She's only ever wanted me to go to activities with other members of that ward. I guess it's because I'm inactive; though whenever I do go to church, I prefer the family ward that Christy goes to. Singles wards make me very uncomfortable. And what makes her a stalker is the fact that I've told her I have no interest in it and she still keeps asking. And also the fact that she freely comes into the house and feels it's okay to knock on my bedroom door, wake me up, see me in my sleeping clothes, just because she wants to talk cheerily and for no important reason. I consider this extremely rude and improper of someone I've just met. (Of course I'm used to it with family, good friends, and old aquaintances, so it's alright with them.) The least she could do is wait in the living room while Robert or someone wakes me up and gives me time to at least make myself presentable. If I'm deprived of simple formalities like this with new aquaintances (or people I'm just not comfortable being around anyways) then I tend to get pretty annoyed. Anyways, she reminds me too much of the superficial people at school that would talk to those they considered outcasts just so they could keep up their own good appearences. It makes me feel like I'm just some goal to be obtained, instead of a person. If she ever feels like being real and wanting to depend on me as an actual friend (which I doubt will happen) then perhaps I'll consider her as one back. Until then I could care less about it. It's not like I turn people away when I sense they really want to be friends with me. Heck, a few people at my old job in Laramie, I considered them friends even though I only knew them a few months. It's because in some way they really did depend on me like a friends should and we were able to have deep talks and the such. And given my trust issues and all, I need to be given my own time and comfort zone to get to know people. And just so you know, I don't consider my co-worker a stalker. Her clingy-ness is generally alright; she's just making me nervous on top of that.
(Yeah, there's no one else I can think of who'd give that person my number. But to help you understand, Robert had trauma when he was a kid, emotion and physical trauma to his head. As a result he forgets things quickly, unless to constantly over and over and over again repeat it to him over a long course of time. And even then he just lacks common sense very much so. And seeing as there are about a thousand other things I'm trying to make him remember not to do it seems, I don't really feel like adding this to the list. At least I think he'd have the sense not to give my number to some creepy, drug-dealer guy or something. lol He also has the mentality and drama of both a little boy and a teenaged girl most of the time. )
So you like cornering me then? hn.... Oh and just so you know, your being 'fluent in sarcastic asshole' made me chuckle.
Something missing, huh. Yeah, I can relate. I feel pretty lonely a lot of the time, even if there are friends and family around. Sometimes I think it's because I keep myself distant from them, but really it's just that we've never been that close to begin with nor will we ever be. There aren't many people I trust, and almost none of them are here. At the same time I understand keeping the emotional and the logical mindsets seperate. I still do that, even it's become harder to spot for others. Just feels like it's a lot easier that way.
(It would be amusing, and I'm tempted to do it just to see what I can get away with. People do tend to listen to me after all...)
Wow that would annoy me to no end. All of it, pretty much. I hope she either gives it up or gets a grip sometime, it should be common sense not to just wake someone up and saunter into their bedroom without even giving them advance warning. "I was in the area" is not a valid excuse for dropping by without notice if you're not a close friend or family member, in my opinion. ...that, and I have little respect for those who see people as goals or numbers in statistics. They either talk to others to look better or out of plain old pity, and neither of these I can stand. ...that reminds me of how sometimes I don't really want to be able to notice these nuances in people's behaviour. Just taking them at face value would be nice for a change. But I guess I can't exactly blind myself now.
(Ah, I see. Well, I hope he won't give out your number without your consent anymore, anyway. I suppose you have a lot of patience to keep reminding him all the time. I have no idea how you put up with him as a little boy and teenage girl. Mainly because I don't know how much hope there is of him ever growing out of that. Precious little, from what I recall from him, but I don't know him that well so it's difficult to tell.)
Cornering you? I like you telling me what's going on. If that's the only way, then I guess so! ^^
Hm, judging from the way she acts I would guess that it's out of both pity and looking good. (Of course when people try to dish out pity like that, it makes me feel like putting my fist in their face.) Well, I think it may be working; she doesn't seem to be bugging me quite so much anymore.
(...A lot of patience? Hm, I'm not sure; I suppose. It's something more like "Wtf, Robert, why did you do that again!" Or at least that's what it feels like. And considering that he's 40 or so...no, there's not much hope of him changing.)
Well if your going to continue with your charm there, I suppose I'll just stop dodging the general question. I'm holding up well; I'm able to do well in work and everything else. Yet when I say I'm fine it feels like I'm lying. Hard to describe; it's like I carry on with life like always, yet it seems I left my soul behind somewhere. I don't have much regret or conscience about anything I do, and if I act like I do it's mostly out of some dark humour of my own. Like I ask permission to do things just out of amusement and I would still do them even if the person said 'no'. I can't feel genuinely happy about anything, and the most there is is a faint shadow of happiness, that elusively escapes me whenever I try to grasp it. The only emotions I seem to genuinely feel are negative ones, like rage or disdain.
I've got another stalker. A girl this time. I don't know what's up with her; apparently she was an acquaintance of Laura's. I've only actually met her a couple brief times, and yet she feels she has the right to act very familiar with me. I don't even hide the fact that I'm not interested with doing any activities with her or her friends, yet it seems to bounce off her or something. She even comes to my work apparently to find out what times she might visit me, and calls herself my friend. As if she's known me for years. It seems disrespectful to make such a claim when she doesn't even really know me. Or perhaps she feels the need to take pity on me for some reason. It's annoying and I tend to ignore her. (Even though she has my phone number, I don't know how the fuck she got it, I suspect Robert must have given it to her, sounds like something he'd do.)
(And I can't seem to get any projects started.)
And a co-worker seems to be a bit too clingy and she makes me nervous somehow.
And I hate more things than like them.
Now if that's enough I think I should get back to work.
Oh and it seems that lately I've become a bit of a sarcastic asshole, so you should probably not take too much heed to my words.
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So even someone who might just want to be friends with you is a stalker? Heh, now I'm glad I didn't start off on the wrong foot with you. You could always ask Robert if he did, and ask him/tell him not to do it again. I'd get pretty angry if people gave out my phone number without my permission.
(Meanwhile, I can't seem to get any projects finishes. Equally irritating, but not exactly new.)
...you say that as if I'd have the chance to interrupt you.
I'm glad I still get to pester you into sharing. And don't worry, I'm fluent in "sarcastic asshole" and translate it appropriately.
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(Personally I think it'd be amusing for you to substitute it with "about damn time" and such. If you're having a bad day you really don't need to do the fake politeness around me at least.)
No; I'm pretty good at reading people. She doesn't really want to be my friend. Not what I would consider one. Would it help if I said she was from the church singles ward that I used to kind of go to? She's only ever wanted me to go to activities with other members of that ward. I guess it's because I'm inactive; though whenever I do go to church, I prefer the family ward that Christy goes to. Singles wards make me very uncomfortable. And what makes her a stalker is the fact that I've told her I have no interest in it and she still keeps asking. And also the fact that she freely comes into the house and feels it's okay to knock on my bedroom door, wake me up, see me in my sleeping clothes, just because she wants to talk cheerily and for no important reason. I consider this extremely rude and improper of someone I've just met. (Of course I'm used to it with family, good friends, and old aquaintances, so it's alright with them.) The least she could do is wait in the living room while Robert or someone wakes me up and gives me time to at least make myself presentable. If I'm deprived of simple formalities like this with new aquaintances (or people I'm just not comfortable being around anyways) then I tend to get pretty annoyed. Anyways, she reminds me too much of the superficial people at school that would talk to those they considered outcasts just so they could keep up their own good appearences. It makes me feel like I'm just some goal to be obtained, instead of a person. If she ever feels like being real and wanting to depend on me as an actual friend (which I doubt will happen) then perhaps I'll consider her as one back. Until then I could care less about it.
It's not like I turn people away when I sense they really want to be friends with me. Heck, a few people at my old job in Laramie, I considered them friends even though I only knew them a few months. It's because in some way they really did depend on me like a friends should and we were able to have deep talks and the such. And given my trust issues and all, I need to be given my own time and comfort zone to get to know people.
And just so you know, I don't consider my co-worker a stalker. Her clingy-ness is generally alright; she's just making me nervous on top of that.
(Yeah, there's no one else I can think of who'd give that person my number. But to help you understand, Robert had trauma when he was a kid, emotion and physical trauma to his head. As a result he forgets things quickly, unless to constantly over and over and over again repeat it to him over a long course of time. And even then he just lacks common sense very much so. And seeing as there are about a thousand other things I'm trying to make him remember not to do it seems, I don't really feel like adding this to the list. At least I think he'd have the sense not to give my number to some creepy, drug-dealer guy or something. lol He also has the mentality and drama of both a little boy and a teenaged girl most of the time. )
So you like cornering me then? hn....
Oh and just so you know, your being 'fluent in sarcastic asshole' made me chuckle.
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At the same time I understand keeping the emotional and the logical mindsets seperate. I still do that, even it's become harder to spot for others. Just feels like it's a lot easier that way.
(It would be amusing, and I'm tempted to do it just to see what I can get away with. People do tend to listen to me after all...)
Wow that would annoy me to no end. All of it, pretty much. I hope she either gives it up or gets a grip sometime, it should be common sense not to just wake someone up and saunter into their bedroom without even giving them advance warning. "I was in the area" is not a valid excuse for dropping by without notice if you're not a close friend or family member, in my opinion. ...that, and I have little respect for those who see people as goals or numbers in statistics. They either talk to others to look better or out of plain old pity, and neither of these I can stand.
...that reminds me of how sometimes I don't really want to be able to notice these nuances in people's behaviour. Just taking them at face value would be nice for a change. But I guess I can't exactly blind myself now.
(Ah, I see. Well, I hope he won't give out your number without your consent anymore, anyway. I suppose you have a lot of patience to keep reminding him all the time. I have no idea how you put up with him as a little boy and teenage girl. Mainly because I don't know how much hope there is of him ever growing out of that. Precious little, from what I recall from him, but I don't know him that well so it's difficult to tell.)
Cornering you? I like you telling me what's going on. If that's the only way, then I guess so! ^^
That was half the point. ;)
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(...A lot of patience? Hm, I'm not sure; I suppose. It's something more like "Wtf, Robert, why did you do that again!" Or at least that's what it feels like. And considering that he's 40 or so...no, there's not much hope of him changing.)
You say that with such enthusiasm. *sweatdrops*
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(That's a shame. Even though I don't think people stop changing so long as they're alive.)
Yes! Shouldn't I?
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Um..nevermind. >>;
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Okay~! ^^
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