(no subject)

[azraile]

I need to get stuff of my chest so i'm reopening this not even sure if anyone sees this kinda thing not that it matters just need to vent... just feel empty... least starting to understand... was doing better but now i'm doing worce again. My perceptions colapsed in on itself need to find help expanding it but not sure where or how to do so with out ending up locked up some where.... people don't want to solve problems they want them out of the way.  Least i was functional though and not so much so lately. People just engore my problems, give some 'obvious' answer that if it was one that worked I realy won't have a problem, or just complain that i'm having problems and it's anoying to them. even the psycologoiests, granted I'm afraid to go into to many details as i don't want to get commited as I know enough about psycology to know it's seriously fucked the hell up riught now with people that over diagnose and want to normalize things rather than treat problems. Medication and confinment over counselling and yah... real sollutions....

eh....

It's better than it use to be mind you... but it's still fucked up.....

I'm lonely and even my ohter personalites are gone, think i've resently understanding it's a part of this 'colapting' of perception i'm hearing/reading about that happens to people in exstream deprestion and suicidal tendances..... guess the only reason i would not run into this stuff is my suicidal ness is not so much so as I've made promises not to so I don't try to and do a lot ot keep thoughts of it out of my mind... but my thought prossess seam to be a lot a like to some one who is suicidal

I talk about that kinda thing and i'm just going to end up on some kinda list or locked away and i do not awant that.....