FIC: What Jensen Wants
TITLE: What Jensen Wants
AUTHOR: Demona aka azraelz_angel
FANDOM: Supernatural Real Person Slash
PAIRING: Jensen/Jared
RATING: NC17
WORD COUNT: ~4,600
WARNINGS: Hot gay boy sexing! Brief thought of rimming.
SUMMARY: An on-set accident leaves Jared able to hear Jensen’s thoughts. He’s more than a little surprised as what Jensen’s thinking about. Based loosely on the premise of the movie What Women Want.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the people in this fic. I’m fairly certain that Jared and Jensen own themselves. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
NOTES: Written for the wonderful and lovely mss_celestal. Who was so very patient in waiting for this Sweet Charity fic.
NOTES2: Italics represent Jared hearing Jensen’s thoughts.
BETA: Thanks to feeferj for helping me plot this out and make it happen. Without you I don’t know that there would have been a story like this. And many thanks for kaylashay81 for beta’ing and pointing out where I went wrong structurally and grammatically. And stop with the added bunnies okay? Haha!
End of April 2008
”Fuck, Jared are you ever going to realize I’m stuck being tortured over here?” Jensen asks and Jared jumps slightly, turning to his right to locate Jensen. He doesn’t hear him approach, but it isn’t the first time Jen’s snuck up on him. But the space off to his right is completely empty and when he finally locates Jensen he is on the other side of the food tent. He’s still chatting with Miranda and Samantha, two of the P.A.s and he looks miserable. Weird, Jensen would have to yell for Jared to hear him, but Jensen would never be that rude. And Jared highly doubts the two girls would still be there talking. Jensen’s eyes look up over the girls’ heads, and Jared can see the relief wash over him. He offers Jared a smile. ”Oh thank God.” Jared hears Jensen say but Jensen’s lips never waver from his relieved smile.
It is kinda then that Jared realizes things may never be right again.
The Day Before
It is Jared’s clumsiness that ultimately gets them into trouble. They never have any issues with joking around on set, but today proves to be their undoing.
The ground around the light equipment is damp from the beginning of a light rain. And they should have been more careful, should have realized it would be slippery and dangerous. But they aren’t thinking, just trying to relieve some of the tension from filming the finale.
It’s the end of the day and everyone is tired and cranky, and Jared wants nothing more than to go home and crawl into his bed. Sam is bleeding through, making it hard to look at Jensen without thinking about Dean’s impending doom. Jensen’s practically sleep walking through his scenes, and Katie keeps flubbing her scenes and is growing more and more frustrated with herself. So Jared tries to drive some energy back into Jensen and Katie by running around the yard like an idiot, trying to de-pants a few of the crew, stealing stuff from one crew member and handing it off to another. He grabs Katie and starts dancing them around the set. Jensen laughs as he watches Jared try to laugh, Katie laughs as she tries to avoid Jared’s two left feet. He knows he isn’t the most graceful, agile person on the face of the earth, but he really should have seen that bundle of wires that trips him. Of course, he might have if he hadn’t been dancing backwards and not paying attention.
The world tilts and for a brief second Jared happily realizes he is flying before he crashes to the earth, hard. His head smacks down on the soggy ground, and he groans as Katie lands on his chest, and all the air rushes out of his body.
He tries to open his eyes as he hears the worried voices around him. Tries to let them know that he is fine, his head just hurts a little. But his mouth isn’t working and he’s suddenly really, really tired. He passes out to Katie’s voice repeating just how sorry she is. And he’d argue it’s all his fault, but he thinks perhaps sleeping is a better idea.
Two Days Later
Jared slams his trailer door shut and immediately heads over to the mini-fridge. He doesn’t usually drink while working on set but after having to listen to Jensen constantly think about fucking his ass and bending him over every available surface, he feels it is justified.
He takes a long pull off the bottle and fishes his cell phone out of his pants pocket. He flips it open and scrolls through his contacts list, stopping when Chad’s name is highlighted. He needs to talk with someone about this. And Jared knows everyone is going to laugh at him and probably think he is crazy, but of all his friends he figures Chad must’ve had something insane like this happen to him at least once before.
His thumb wavers over the send button. He really isn’t sure whether he wants people knowing about this. Perhaps he will wait a day or two. It has only been happening for two days, perhaps it will go away on its own. Perhaps he doesn’t need to embarrass himself just yet.
He flips the phone shut and begins to pace back and forth through the tiny trailer. “And just what would you say to Chad?” Jared mutters to himself and takes another swig of the beer. “Hey there Chad, I have this problem. See I can suddenly hear Jensen’s thoughts.” He can practically hear Chad’s hysterical laughter in his head right now. “And Jensen’s thoughts - yeah, they’re definitely not what I thought they’d be. Who knew Jensen thought about guys? And yeah, bending my ass over the hood of the Impala and licking me open till I came all over it. Who does that?” Jared rants as he continues to pace.
He is taking a breath, about to go into another part of his tirade, when the door to his trailer is pulled open.
“Dude, who are you talking to?” Jensen questions as he appears in the doorway.
Jared freezes and can’t help the guilty, slightly terrified expression that appears on his face.
“Are you on the phone?” Jensen asks and nods to the phone clutched tightly in Jared’s hand.
“Uh…did you hear what I was just talking about?” Jared finally asks.
“No, just heard your voice,” Jensen answers with a shrug. ”Was he talking about me to someone? Did I do something to piss him off? Nah, Jared’d tell me if something was up.”
Jared relaxes a little at Jensen’s words and honest thoughts. “I uh…was just talking to myself,” Jared admits as he stops pacing and sinks down on the couch.
Jensen just raises an eyebrow and pulls the trailer door shut behind him.
“You got another?” Jensen asks, eyeing the beer.
“Yeah, rest of the pack’s in the fridge,” Jared replies. He takes another drink from the bottle, tongue slipping out to lick the drop from the bottle’s rim.
”Damn. Wonder if his lips would look that good around my dick,” Jensen thinks as he wanders over to the fridge.
Jared coughs, choking on the beer as it catches in his throat.
“You alright man?” Jensen asks, concerned as he pats Jared’s back.
“Just peachy,” Jared mutters. Perhaps he is going to need to call Chad after all.
Mid-May 2008
Jared spends the last week in L.A. with Sandy. The first two days they don’t even leave the house, only venturing from the bedroom for food and showers. Sandy wants Jared to go out with her tonight, to a birthday party for a friend of hers. Usually he’d be happy to go out and spend time with her and her friends. But Jensen had called, mentioning beer and steaks before they truly separated for hiatus, and Jared just can’t say no.
He likes to think it is because Jensen is his best friend and after months of living in each other’s back pockets it is hard to just stop. But he’s dealt with it before and survived. The truth is that Jared is kinda addicted to Jensen’s internal running commentary. And not all the thoughts about Jared are NC17 rated, most are just about Jared in general. And after a little self-reflection of his own, it makes Jared realize they both think about one another more than most best friends probably do.
Jared is pleasantly full from grilled steaks and a few beers. The dirty dinner plates are still scattered across the patio table, neither of them ready to get up and put an end to the evening.
Jensen’s thoughts are surprising quiet as they sit in the hot L.A. summer evening heat. Throughout the night they’ve been focused on Jared and the conversation at hand, and if they lapse into silence, his thoughts drift to this summer and his horror movie. It is irrational but Jared finds himself a little disappointed that Jensen’s thoughts aren’t as dirty as they usually are. He blames too many beers on his inability to keep his mouth shut.
“I know you want me,” Jared blurts out, interrupting the silence and scattering Jensen’s thoughts.
For a moment Jensen’s mind is painfully silent - blank - before his thoughts start racing too quickly for Jared process them all. Fear is the most reoccurring thought that spirals through Jensen’s mind.
“I - “ Jensen starts and Jared can hear the rest of the denial Jensen’s got planned. And Jared’s really afraid to hear him voice those thoughts. But Jensen snaps his mouth shut and the thought dies. “Why are you here Jared?” Jensen asks instead.
“Because you invited me.” The answer is too simple and instantly Jared realizes the answer isn’t what Jensen is looking for.
“You have a girlfriend, Jared. Perhaps you should get going. I’ll call you a cab.”
“I’m okay with it, you know,” Jared’s mouth just won’t stop.
”He is going to be the death of me. Only Jared would be okay with his best friend co-star wanting him.” “You’ve had a few beers. I’m sure that this conversation can wait for another time.” ”Like never.”
“It’s been on my mind for awhile now. I’m not exactly opposed to the idea.”
“Since when are you into guys, Jared?”
“Since the thought of you fucking me started turning me on more than the thought of fucking Sandy.” Jared answers and really he and his mouth are gonna have a big talk later. Because he’s ruining the best friendship he’s ever had and he will never forgive himself if he isn’t able to salvage this.
Jensen’s beer bottle shatters on the concrete patio and jolts Jared out of his own thoughts. He looks over at Jensen, but he is out of his chair, rounding the table, and heading for Jared. His hand shoots forward and Jared flinches, expecting a punch, but instead Jensen grabs a handful of shirt and pulls Jared to his feet.
“Finally!” echoes through Jared’s head as Jensen kisses him.
It was a hard press of their lips together for a few seconds before Jensen relaxes and his tongue presses against Jared’s lips. It is nothing like kissing Sandy and certainly nothing like the drunk kiss Chad once laid on him. Jensen’s a good kisser, which doesn’t surprise Jared. Jensen has killer lips, and Jensen does everything well. Jared opens his lips and lets Jensen take control of the kiss.
Jensen pulls back, tongue sneaking out to run along Jared’s lips before he pulls away completely. “Bedroom. Now,” he commands and Jared’s whole body shudders.
“Yeah, yeah, ok,” Jared quickly agrees and lets Jensen manhandle him into the house.
They stumble and collide with the walls as Jensen walks Jared backwards, not willing to stop kissing him. When they reach Jensen’s bedroom, Jensen pushes Jared toward the bed. The back of his legs hit the mattress and he sits down from the momentum and looks up at Jensen. His lips are red and swollen from Jared’s mouth. And his eyes are dark green, blown with lust.
“Can’t wait to get you naked and spread out underneath me. Been wanting it for so long. Think about it all the time,” Jensen whispers even though they are alone in the house.
“God I know. Me too,” Jared replies and tries not to think about all Jensen’s thoughts that he’s been hearing.
Jensen sinks to his knees at the foot of the bed, in between Jared’s spread legs. He keeps his eyes on Jared’s as he mouths Jared’s cock through his shorts.
“Oh God, Jensen,” Jared gets out as he gently wraps a hand around the back of Jensen’s head.
“Can I Jared?” Jensen asks. ”Please let me see that dick of yours. Bet it’s fucking huge. Can’t wait to suck you down.”
Jared twitches at Jensen’s thoughts and nods. “Yeah. Hell yeah,” he manages to get out.
Jensen continues to mouth at Jared’s cock as he works on getting Jared’s pants undone. The button pops open and the zipper slides down, the metal scraping against Jared’s dick. Jensen’s hand is reaching into his boxers, not bothering to pull his pants off, and pulling his dick out. He doesn’t even get a chance to comment on it before Jensen licks across the head and Jared’s eyes roll back in his head. Another lick and then Jensen swallows Jared down.
Sandy isn’t able to take him very deep, certainly not as far as Jensen is taking him. A shudder goes through Jared’s body as the head of his dick nudges into Jensen’s throat. “So fucking good, Jen,” Jared gasps and clutches at Jensen’s head, his other hand fisting the sheets.
Jensen hums as he slides along Jared’s length. Jensen’s hand wraps around Jared’s shaft, stroking him as he slides in and out of Jensen’s lips. Jensen’s other hand pushes into Jared’s pants to fondle his balls.
It’s all too much, all something Jensen’s been thinking about and teasing Jared with for so long now. He’s not going to last and he rambles, trying to let Jensen know. “Gonna… gonna come Jen,” Jared mutters and pulls at Jensen’s head. He can feel his balls tightening and knows he is going to come at any moment.
Jensen sucks harder, rubbing his tongue along the underside of Jared’s dick. ”Can’t wait to taste you. Want you to come in my mouth, down my throat.”
And Jared thrusts hard and comes down Jensen’s throat. He continues to suck, keeps going until Jared whimpers and starts to pull away. Jensen’s lips are shiny with spit and come as he pulls off. And another shudder runs through Jared at the sight.
“Jesus,” he mutters and ducks his head down to meet Jensen’s mouth. He can taste himself as their tongues slide along one another. “Can I…return the favor?” Jared asks as he pulls back.
The grin that appears on Jensen’s face is pure wickedness. “Gonna get off Jared. Can I fuck you Jared? Wanna shove you into this bed and slide into that tight ass. Have you ever been fucked Jared?” Jensen rambles as he moves up and pushes Jared down on the bed.
Jared swallows hard and nods, just a slight movement of his head as Jensen presses him back against the bed.
“Na-uh Jared. Gotta hear you say it,” Jensen pushes him.
“Yes. Yes, I want you to fuck me,” Jared manages to get out.
“Good. It’s gonna be so good Jared. Gonna make you feel so good.”
Jensen pushes himself back to his feet and looks down at Jared. Jared stares back, feeling slightly ridiculous because his spent cock is hanging out of his pants and Jensen is fully clothed.
“Let’s get you undressed,” Jensen finally says and together they pull Jared out of his clothes. “Gorgeous,” Jensen whispers as he places a kiss to Jared’s lips.
He pulls back and starts pulling off his own clothes and dropping them on the floor next to the bed. Jared can’t help but stare. Jensen’s hard, his dick flushed and straining against his stomach. This is something Jared’s been dreaming about since Jensen’s thoughts invaded his own.
“Scoot up towards the headboard,” Jensen instructs him and Jared shimmies back, not taking his eyes off Jensen.
“You’re so hot, Jen. Your body is perfect,” Jared murmurs. He knows Jensen’s self-conscious of his body. Knows he takes it way too personally when someone makes jokes. And he knows he kinda resents Jared’s metabolism and ability to overdose on sweets.
“Nothing like you, Jare. All those hours at the gym pay off,” Jensen tells him as he kisses up his body until he’s on top of Jared and then he kisses him again. Jared can feel Jensen’s erection digging into his hip as Jensen rocks slowly against him.
Jared pulls away first and thrusts his hips up into Jensen’s. “Come on Jen. Wanna feel you,” Jared pleads with him.
It’s Jensen’s turn to shudder at the words and he gets out a shaky nod. He shifts his weight off Jared to open up the drawer on the night stand. The condoms and lube drop onto the bed next to Jared’s hip and Jensen looks back down.
“The next part is your choice. We can do it face to face, but it might hurt a little more, or we can do it with me behind you at your back,” Jensen explains to Jared. And Jared bites his tongue before he immediately blurts out his answer. He just can’t admit he’s been doing research since the whole incident. “Take your time.”
“Face to face,” Jared answers and Jensen smiles, pleased with the choice.
“Alright, let’s get a pillow under your hips to help you out,” Jensen is calm and keeps his movements slow as he reaches for an extra pillow. Jared raises his hips and lets Jensen arrange everything. “Promise me you’ll tell me if it hurts,” Jensen asks as he watches Jared carefully.
“Promise,” Jared honestly replies.
“Good.” Jensen reaches for the bottle of lube and squirts a little on his fingers.
Jared knows what’s coming next. He’s tried it on himself a few times because Jensen thought about it. Jensen gets back between Jared’s bent legs and leans in to kiss him as the top of his finger slides along Jared’s hole. Jared squirms, he can’t help it, and Jensen makes a soothing noise in his throat. When Jensen pushes the tip inside, Jared relaxes and allows more of Jensen’s finger to slip in.
“Done this before Jared?” Jensen whispers against his lips.
“To myself,” Jared admits and blushes. “Done it thinking about you.”
Jensen jerks against his thigh and groans, “God that’s hot. Gonna make you show me sometime.” Jensen’s working one finger in easily now and slides the one out and presses back in with two. The initial burn is there but Jensen goes slowly.
Before long Jared starts pushing his hips into Jensen’s thrusts and he can feel his dick hardening again.
“Another,” Jared gasps out, letting Jensen know he can take more, needs to take another.
“Ok,” Jensen agrees and slides his fingers out. More lube is added and Jensen slowly pushes back in with three. Jared feels full, almost too full, and his half-hard erection starts to fade.
“It’ll feel good. Give it a moment,” Jensen assures him.
“Trust you,” Jared whispers as he takes a few deep breaths.
Once Jensen has all three fingers inside Jared he stops and kisses him again. He doesn’t move his fingers until Jared starts fucking himself. They make out while Jensen easily pumps three fingers in and out of Jared. Jared’s erection comes back and he’s dripping pre-come all over his stomach.
“Wanna come with you inside me,” Jared gasps as he wretches his mouth away from Jensen and throws his head back.
Jensen carefully pulls his fingers out of Jared and fumbles with the condom. Jared watches as Jensen slides it over his dick and adds a little more lube. He thrusts a few times into his palm to spread around the lube and then his attention returns to Jared. He positions the head of his dick at Jared’s ass and pushes in. Jared immediately tightens up as the head slides in.
“Breathe and relax. It will feel so good but you’ve gotta let me get there,” Jensen assures Jared and kisses him again.
As Jared relaxes Jensen is able to slide further in. It is a slow process but once he is fully seated in Jared he stops.
“Worst is over. Now the fun begins,” Jensen promises as he slowly pulls out and pushes back in.
It takes a few moments for Jensen to get a rhythm, but then he drags over Jared’s prostate and Jared unexpectedly comes, arching his back, ass tightening around Jensen as he comes all over his stomach between them.
“That was so incredibly hot,” Jensen confesses as his pace picks up.
Jared’s loose and sated as Jensen fucks into him, sending tendrils of pleasure through him each time his prostate is grazed.
Between the foreplay and Jared coming, Jensen doesn’t last much longer. His thrusts become erratic and he shoves hard into Jared, head thrown back as he fills the condom.
Jared is woken up to Jensen’s cell phone insistently ringing on the night stand. The ringing blessedly stops, the silence is nice and almost long enough for Jared to drift back to sleep, but then it starts all over again.
Jensen groans and rolls away from Jared toward the phone. ”Annoying fuckers.” “Hello?” Jensen answers the phone with his sleep rough voice. ”Holy fuck!” Jensen thinks at the same time that Jared recognizes Sandy’s voice on the other end.
He’s instantly awake and sitting up in the bed beside Jensen. The events from the night before come rushing back and he immediately feels guilty for cheating on Sandy.
“Yeah, he’s here. We had a little too much to drink last night. He uh…crashed here,” Jensen explains. ”Please let her not suspect anything. Please!” “Let me go wake him up,” Jensen tells her and calmly climbs out of bed. He’s naked and doesn’t bother to stop and put on any clothes. Jared’s dick twitches a little at the sight of Jensen’s ass and he tries hard not to think about Jensen and sex while his girlfriend is on the phone. Jensen pulls open his bedroom door and then heads back to the bed.
“Hey Jared, time to wake up buddy,” Jensen tells Jared, his eyes pleading with him to play along.
“Hm… What’s going on?” Jared mutters and Jensen hands over the phone.
“Sandy,” he tells him what he already knows.
“Thanks man,” Jared says and watches as Jensen disappears into the bathroom before he pulls the phone up to his ear.
“Sandy?” he greets her and knows he is in for a world of shit.
June 2008
“Hey Jay!” Jensen answers his phone.
“We broke up,” Jared quietly tells Jensen. He hears Jensen suck in his breath and exhale it slowly. Jared’s kinda glad that Jensen actually has to be near him for Jared to hear his thoughts because he doesn’t want to hear his pity or possible glee.
“I’m real sorry, Jare,” Jensen tells him. And Jared knows it’s the truth. He may want Jared, but he’d never want Jared to be hurt.
“Thanks,” Jared breathes out.
And they both fall into silence, just breathing on the phone with one another.
“I’m gonna have to tell the fans at Dallas,” Jared finally says.
“You don’t owe them shit!” Jensen replies, defensive anger in his voice. Jared knows how guarded Jensen is of his personal life, but that’s not how Jared is.
“Better tell them than have some fangirl ask, you know?”
“Still isn’t right,” Jensen quietly comments, Jared knows he’s right, but knows that Jensen understands his point too.
They are silent for a few more moments before Jensen speaks. “Was it ugly?”
“Yeah,” Jared admits and looks up at the ceiling to hold off the tears.
“I’m sorry.”
“Honestly not your fault. We… we just wanted different things. She wants to go back to school and to start a family, have a normal life. And I… I just decided my future wasn’t with her and her dreams. Plus, I kinda have feelings for you Jen. And that’s not fair to any of us.”
“Jared,” Jensen breathes out and Jared wants to know what he’s thinking. Wishing he could cheat and just know, now.
“Just throwing it out there. I’m not gonna do anything right now, but maybe…”
“When we get back home,” Jensen agrees and they both translate Vancouver to mean home.
“So, uh, did you find an apartment to rent for the year?” Jared changes the subject without any grace.
“Been looking but I haven’t had much luck. It’s hard to do over the internet.”
“Hmmm,” Jared murmurs in agreement.
“Know of anyone looking to lease?”
“You could crash at my place until you find a place.”
“I don’t want to push things Jared.”
“You’re not.”
Jensen sighs and then halfway concedes. “I’ll think about it.”
It’s just the opening Jared needed. Because Jared can guilt anyone into almost anything. And Jensen will do anything to keep Jared happy. And he should feel kinda guilty about it, but doesn’t really, not when he knows it is for the best. “Better think fast. Once the fangirls find out I’m back on the market I’ll have applicants for rents lined up around the block for sure,” Jared teased and they both laugh.
“Well then I’ll move in, if only to protect you from the crazies.”
Jared’s grinning when they hang up a few minutes later.
August 2008
“Move in with me,” Jared thinks as he watches Jensen move around the kitchen as he gets things ready for dinner. It’s a stupid though considering Jensen already is in his house, but Jensen’s stay isn’t permanent. And not for the first time Jared wishes Jensen can hear his thoughts too.
Instead Jared turns his attention back to his script and tries to block out Jensen’s rambling thoughts about apartments and moving out.
It ends the same way it began, with Jared goofing off. This time though there is no tension carried over from Sam losing Dean, instead there is a growing something between the two of them. Neither of them talk about it but Jensen thinks about it all the time.
Jared’s out running around the backyard with the dogs when Sadie accidentally trips him at the same time Harley lunges and tackles him for the ball. They all three go down in an awkward pile and Jared hears Jensen’s alarmed thoughts loud and frightening clear before he hits the ground.
His head hits hard, bouncing off the ground solidly before his vision starts to black out. Jensen’s worried thoughts are the last thing he hears before he passes out.
Jensen’s face is blurry for a few blinks before it comes back into focus. His eyebrows pull tight in worry and his eyes are wide with panic and fear.
The silence is deafening as Jared comes back to himself. Jared has a moment to think, ‘Am I deaf?’ before sound returns all at once.
“Jesus, Jared, say something. Tell me you’re okay,” Jensen’s voice is frantic as he gently touches Jared’s face and body. He keeps repeating a variation of his concerns but there’s something missing, something not loud and constant.
Jared blinks again and realizes Jensen’s thoughts are gone.
“I’m fine Jensen,” Jared finally speaks and the relief washes over Jensen’s face. “I’m fine.”
“You blacked out. And your head hit the ground really hard,” Jensen rambles and Jared reaches up to catch one of Jensen’s hands in his own.
“I’m fine. Gonna need some Tylenol and ice, but I’m fine,” he reassures Jensen.
And Jensen nods, relaxes enough to collapse back on his butt next to Jared. Jared doesn’t need to hear Jensen’s thoughts to know what Jensen’s thinking; he knows it because it’s how he’d feel if their positions were reversed.
“Move in with me?” Jared asks and Jensen raises an eyebrow in confusion.
“Jay, I - “ Jensen starts to speak and Jared struggles to sit up. The movement sends throbbing pain through his head but he forces it back.
“I know. But,” Jared makes sure Jensen meets his stare, “Move in with me Jen,” he repeats and he can see the understanding finally set into Jensen’s eyes.
“Okay,” Jensen quickly agrees.
AUTHOR: Demona aka azraelz_angel
FANDOM: Supernatural Real Person Slash
PAIRING: Jensen/Jared
RATING: NC17
WORD COUNT: ~4,600
WARNINGS: Hot gay boy sexing! Brief thought of rimming.
SUMMARY: An on-set accident leaves Jared able to hear Jensen’s thoughts. He’s more than a little surprised as what Jensen’s thinking about. Based loosely on the premise of the movie What Women Want.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the people in this fic. I’m fairly certain that Jared and Jensen own themselves. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
NOTES: Written for the wonderful and lovely mss_celestal. Who was so very patient in waiting for this Sweet Charity fic.
NOTES2: Italics represent Jared hearing Jensen’s thoughts.
BETA: Thanks to feeferj for helping me plot this out and make it happen. Without you I don’t know that there would have been a story like this. And many thanks for kaylashay81 for beta’ing and pointing out where I went wrong structurally and grammatically. And stop with the added bunnies okay? Haha!
End of April 2008
”Fuck, Jared are you ever going to realize I’m stuck being tortured over here?” Jensen asks and Jared jumps slightly, turning to his right to locate Jensen. He doesn’t hear him approach, but it isn’t the first time Jen’s snuck up on him. But the space off to his right is completely empty and when he finally locates Jensen he is on the other side of the food tent. He’s still chatting with Miranda and Samantha, two of the P.A.s and he looks miserable. Weird, Jensen would have to yell for Jared to hear him, but Jensen would never be that rude. And Jared highly doubts the two girls would still be there talking. Jensen’s eyes look up over the girls’ heads, and Jared can see the relief wash over him. He offers Jared a smile. ”Oh thank God.” Jared hears Jensen say but Jensen’s lips never waver from his relieved smile.
It is kinda then that Jared realizes things may never be right again.
The Day Before
It is Jared’s clumsiness that ultimately gets them into trouble. They never have any issues with joking around on set, but today proves to be their undoing.
The ground around the light equipment is damp from the beginning of a light rain. And they should have been more careful, should have realized it would be slippery and dangerous. But they aren’t thinking, just trying to relieve some of the tension from filming the finale.
It’s the end of the day and everyone is tired and cranky, and Jared wants nothing more than to go home and crawl into his bed. Sam is bleeding through, making it hard to look at Jensen without thinking about Dean’s impending doom. Jensen’s practically sleep walking through his scenes, and Katie keeps flubbing her scenes and is growing more and more frustrated with herself. So Jared tries to drive some energy back into Jensen and Katie by running around the yard like an idiot, trying to de-pants a few of the crew, stealing stuff from one crew member and handing it off to another. He grabs Katie and starts dancing them around the set. Jensen laughs as he watches Jared try to laugh, Katie laughs as she tries to avoid Jared’s two left feet. He knows he isn’t the most graceful, agile person on the face of the earth, but he really should have seen that bundle of wires that trips him. Of course, he might have if he hadn’t been dancing backwards and not paying attention.
The world tilts and for a brief second Jared happily realizes he is flying before he crashes to the earth, hard. His head smacks down on the soggy ground, and he groans as Katie lands on his chest, and all the air rushes out of his body.
He tries to open his eyes as he hears the worried voices around him. Tries to let them know that he is fine, his head just hurts a little. But his mouth isn’t working and he’s suddenly really, really tired. He passes out to Katie’s voice repeating just how sorry she is. And he’d argue it’s all his fault, but he thinks perhaps sleeping is a better idea.
Two Days Later
Jared slams his trailer door shut and immediately heads over to the mini-fridge. He doesn’t usually drink while working on set but after having to listen to Jensen constantly think about fucking his ass and bending him over every available surface, he feels it is justified.
He takes a long pull off the bottle and fishes his cell phone out of his pants pocket. He flips it open and scrolls through his contacts list, stopping when Chad’s name is highlighted. He needs to talk with someone about this. And Jared knows everyone is going to laugh at him and probably think he is crazy, but of all his friends he figures Chad must’ve had something insane like this happen to him at least once before.
His thumb wavers over the send button. He really isn’t sure whether he wants people knowing about this. Perhaps he will wait a day or two. It has only been happening for two days, perhaps it will go away on its own. Perhaps he doesn’t need to embarrass himself just yet.
He flips the phone shut and begins to pace back and forth through the tiny trailer. “And just what would you say to Chad?” Jared mutters to himself and takes another swig of the beer. “Hey there Chad, I have this problem. See I can suddenly hear Jensen’s thoughts.” He can practically hear Chad’s hysterical laughter in his head right now. “And Jensen’s thoughts - yeah, they’re definitely not what I thought they’d be. Who knew Jensen thought about guys? And yeah, bending my ass over the hood of the Impala and licking me open till I came all over it. Who does that?” Jared rants as he continues to pace.
He is taking a breath, about to go into another part of his tirade, when the door to his trailer is pulled open.
“Dude, who are you talking to?” Jensen questions as he appears in the doorway.
Jared freezes and can’t help the guilty, slightly terrified expression that appears on his face.
“Are you on the phone?” Jensen asks and nods to the phone clutched tightly in Jared’s hand.
“Uh…did you hear what I was just talking about?” Jared finally asks.
“No, just heard your voice,” Jensen answers with a shrug. ”Was he talking about me to someone? Did I do something to piss him off? Nah, Jared’d tell me if something was up.”
Jared relaxes a little at Jensen’s words and honest thoughts. “I uh…was just talking to myself,” Jared admits as he stops pacing and sinks down on the couch.
Jensen just raises an eyebrow and pulls the trailer door shut behind him.
“You got another?” Jensen asks, eyeing the beer.
“Yeah, rest of the pack’s in the fridge,” Jared replies. He takes another drink from the bottle, tongue slipping out to lick the drop from the bottle’s rim.
”Damn. Wonder if his lips would look that good around my dick,” Jensen thinks as he wanders over to the fridge.
Jared coughs, choking on the beer as it catches in his throat.
“You alright man?” Jensen asks, concerned as he pats Jared’s back.
“Just peachy,” Jared mutters. Perhaps he is going to need to call Chad after all.
Mid-May 2008
Jared spends the last week in L.A. with Sandy. The first two days they don’t even leave the house, only venturing from the bedroom for food and showers. Sandy wants Jared to go out with her tonight, to a birthday party for a friend of hers. Usually he’d be happy to go out and spend time with her and her friends. But Jensen had called, mentioning beer and steaks before they truly separated for hiatus, and Jared just can’t say no.
He likes to think it is because Jensen is his best friend and after months of living in each other’s back pockets it is hard to just stop. But he’s dealt with it before and survived. The truth is that Jared is kinda addicted to Jensen’s internal running commentary. And not all the thoughts about Jared are NC17 rated, most are just about Jared in general. And after a little self-reflection of his own, it makes Jared realize they both think about one another more than most best friends probably do.
Jared is pleasantly full from grilled steaks and a few beers. The dirty dinner plates are still scattered across the patio table, neither of them ready to get up and put an end to the evening.
Jensen’s thoughts are surprising quiet as they sit in the hot L.A. summer evening heat. Throughout the night they’ve been focused on Jared and the conversation at hand, and if they lapse into silence, his thoughts drift to this summer and his horror movie. It is irrational but Jared finds himself a little disappointed that Jensen’s thoughts aren’t as dirty as they usually are. He blames too many beers on his inability to keep his mouth shut.
“I know you want me,” Jared blurts out, interrupting the silence and scattering Jensen’s thoughts.
For a moment Jensen’s mind is painfully silent - blank - before his thoughts start racing too quickly for Jared process them all. Fear is the most reoccurring thought that spirals through Jensen’s mind.
“I - “ Jensen starts and Jared can hear the rest of the denial Jensen’s got planned. And Jared’s really afraid to hear him voice those thoughts. But Jensen snaps his mouth shut and the thought dies. “Why are you here Jared?” Jensen asks instead.
“Because you invited me.” The answer is too simple and instantly Jared realizes the answer isn’t what Jensen is looking for.
“You have a girlfriend, Jared. Perhaps you should get going. I’ll call you a cab.”
“I’m okay with it, you know,” Jared’s mouth just won’t stop.
”He is going to be the death of me. Only Jared would be okay with his best friend co-star wanting him.” “You’ve had a few beers. I’m sure that this conversation can wait for another time.” ”Like never.”
“It’s been on my mind for awhile now. I’m not exactly opposed to the idea.”
“Since when are you into guys, Jared?”
“Since the thought of you fucking me started turning me on more than the thought of fucking Sandy.” Jared answers and really he and his mouth are gonna have a big talk later. Because he’s ruining the best friendship he’s ever had and he will never forgive himself if he isn’t able to salvage this.
Jensen’s beer bottle shatters on the concrete patio and jolts Jared out of his own thoughts. He looks over at Jensen, but he is out of his chair, rounding the table, and heading for Jared. His hand shoots forward and Jared flinches, expecting a punch, but instead Jensen grabs a handful of shirt and pulls Jared to his feet.
“Finally!” echoes through Jared’s head as Jensen kisses him.
It was a hard press of their lips together for a few seconds before Jensen relaxes and his tongue presses against Jared’s lips. It is nothing like kissing Sandy and certainly nothing like the drunk kiss Chad once laid on him. Jensen’s a good kisser, which doesn’t surprise Jared. Jensen has killer lips, and Jensen does everything well. Jared opens his lips and lets Jensen take control of the kiss.
Jensen pulls back, tongue sneaking out to run along Jared’s lips before he pulls away completely. “Bedroom. Now,” he commands and Jared’s whole body shudders.
“Yeah, yeah, ok,” Jared quickly agrees and lets Jensen manhandle him into the house.
They stumble and collide with the walls as Jensen walks Jared backwards, not willing to stop kissing him. When they reach Jensen’s bedroom, Jensen pushes Jared toward the bed. The back of his legs hit the mattress and he sits down from the momentum and looks up at Jensen. His lips are red and swollen from Jared’s mouth. And his eyes are dark green, blown with lust.
“Can’t wait to get you naked and spread out underneath me. Been wanting it for so long. Think about it all the time,” Jensen whispers even though they are alone in the house.
“God I know. Me too,” Jared replies and tries not to think about all Jensen’s thoughts that he’s been hearing.
Jensen sinks to his knees at the foot of the bed, in between Jared’s spread legs. He keeps his eyes on Jared’s as he mouths Jared’s cock through his shorts.
“Oh God, Jensen,” Jared gets out as he gently wraps a hand around the back of Jensen’s head.
“Can I Jared?” Jensen asks. ”Please let me see that dick of yours. Bet it’s fucking huge. Can’t wait to suck you down.”
Jared twitches at Jensen’s thoughts and nods. “Yeah. Hell yeah,” he manages to get out.
Jensen continues to mouth at Jared’s cock as he works on getting Jared’s pants undone. The button pops open and the zipper slides down, the metal scraping against Jared’s dick. Jensen’s hand is reaching into his boxers, not bothering to pull his pants off, and pulling his dick out. He doesn’t even get a chance to comment on it before Jensen licks across the head and Jared’s eyes roll back in his head. Another lick and then Jensen swallows Jared down.
Sandy isn’t able to take him very deep, certainly not as far as Jensen is taking him. A shudder goes through Jared’s body as the head of his dick nudges into Jensen’s throat. “So fucking good, Jen,” Jared gasps and clutches at Jensen’s head, his other hand fisting the sheets.
Jensen hums as he slides along Jared’s length. Jensen’s hand wraps around Jared’s shaft, stroking him as he slides in and out of Jensen’s lips. Jensen’s other hand pushes into Jared’s pants to fondle his balls.
It’s all too much, all something Jensen’s been thinking about and teasing Jared with for so long now. He’s not going to last and he rambles, trying to let Jensen know. “Gonna… gonna come Jen,” Jared mutters and pulls at Jensen’s head. He can feel his balls tightening and knows he is going to come at any moment.
Jensen sucks harder, rubbing his tongue along the underside of Jared’s dick. ”Can’t wait to taste you. Want you to come in my mouth, down my throat.”
And Jared thrusts hard and comes down Jensen’s throat. He continues to suck, keeps going until Jared whimpers and starts to pull away. Jensen’s lips are shiny with spit and come as he pulls off. And another shudder runs through Jared at the sight.
“Jesus,” he mutters and ducks his head down to meet Jensen’s mouth. He can taste himself as their tongues slide along one another. “Can I…return the favor?” Jared asks as he pulls back.
The grin that appears on Jensen’s face is pure wickedness. “Gonna get off Jared. Can I fuck you Jared? Wanna shove you into this bed and slide into that tight ass. Have you ever been fucked Jared?” Jensen rambles as he moves up and pushes Jared down on the bed.
Jared swallows hard and nods, just a slight movement of his head as Jensen presses him back against the bed.
“Na-uh Jared. Gotta hear you say it,” Jensen pushes him.
“Yes. Yes, I want you to fuck me,” Jared manages to get out.
“Good. It’s gonna be so good Jared. Gonna make you feel so good.”
Jensen pushes himself back to his feet and looks down at Jared. Jared stares back, feeling slightly ridiculous because his spent cock is hanging out of his pants and Jensen is fully clothed.
“Let’s get you undressed,” Jensen finally says and together they pull Jared out of his clothes. “Gorgeous,” Jensen whispers as he places a kiss to Jared’s lips.
He pulls back and starts pulling off his own clothes and dropping them on the floor next to the bed. Jared can’t help but stare. Jensen’s hard, his dick flushed and straining against his stomach. This is something Jared’s been dreaming about since Jensen’s thoughts invaded his own.
“Scoot up towards the headboard,” Jensen instructs him and Jared shimmies back, not taking his eyes off Jensen.
“You’re so hot, Jen. Your body is perfect,” Jared murmurs. He knows Jensen’s self-conscious of his body. Knows he takes it way too personally when someone makes jokes. And he knows he kinda resents Jared’s metabolism and ability to overdose on sweets.
“Nothing like you, Jare. All those hours at the gym pay off,” Jensen tells him as he kisses up his body until he’s on top of Jared and then he kisses him again. Jared can feel Jensen’s erection digging into his hip as Jensen rocks slowly against him.
Jared pulls away first and thrusts his hips up into Jensen’s. “Come on Jen. Wanna feel you,” Jared pleads with him.
It’s Jensen’s turn to shudder at the words and he gets out a shaky nod. He shifts his weight off Jared to open up the drawer on the night stand. The condoms and lube drop onto the bed next to Jared’s hip and Jensen looks back down.
“The next part is your choice. We can do it face to face, but it might hurt a little more, or we can do it with me behind you at your back,” Jensen explains to Jared. And Jared bites his tongue before he immediately blurts out his answer. He just can’t admit he’s been doing research since the whole incident. “Take your time.”
“Face to face,” Jared answers and Jensen smiles, pleased with the choice.
“Alright, let’s get a pillow under your hips to help you out,” Jensen is calm and keeps his movements slow as he reaches for an extra pillow. Jared raises his hips and lets Jensen arrange everything. “Promise me you’ll tell me if it hurts,” Jensen asks as he watches Jared carefully.
“Promise,” Jared honestly replies.
“Good.” Jensen reaches for the bottle of lube and squirts a little on his fingers.
Jared knows what’s coming next. He’s tried it on himself a few times because Jensen thought about it. Jensen gets back between Jared’s bent legs and leans in to kiss him as the top of his finger slides along Jared’s hole. Jared squirms, he can’t help it, and Jensen makes a soothing noise in his throat. When Jensen pushes the tip inside, Jared relaxes and allows more of Jensen’s finger to slip in.
“Done this before Jared?” Jensen whispers against his lips.
“To myself,” Jared admits and blushes. “Done it thinking about you.”
Jensen jerks against his thigh and groans, “God that’s hot. Gonna make you show me sometime.” Jensen’s working one finger in easily now and slides the one out and presses back in with two. The initial burn is there but Jensen goes slowly.
Before long Jared starts pushing his hips into Jensen’s thrusts and he can feel his dick hardening again.
“Another,” Jared gasps out, letting Jensen know he can take more, needs to take another.
“Ok,” Jensen agrees and slides his fingers out. More lube is added and Jensen slowly pushes back in with three. Jared feels full, almost too full, and his half-hard erection starts to fade.
“It’ll feel good. Give it a moment,” Jensen assures him.
“Trust you,” Jared whispers as he takes a few deep breaths.
Once Jensen has all three fingers inside Jared he stops and kisses him again. He doesn’t move his fingers until Jared starts fucking himself. They make out while Jensen easily pumps three fingers in and out of Jared. Jared’s erection comes back and he’s dripping pre-come all over his stomach.
“Wanna come with you inside me,” Jared gasps as he wretches his mouth away from Jensen and throws his head back.
Jensen carefully pulls his fingers out of Jared and fumbles with the condom. Jared watches as Jensen slides it over his dick and adds a little more lube. He thrusts a few times into his palm to spread around the lube and then his attention returns to Jared. He positions the head of his dick at Jared’s ass and pushes in. Jared immediately tightens up as the head slides in.
“Breathe and relax. It will feel so good but you’ve gotta let me get there,” Jensen assures Jared and kisses him again.
As Jared relaxes Jensen is able to slide further in. It is a slow process but once he is fully seated in Jared he stops.
“Worst is over. Now the fun begins,” Jensen promises as he slowly pulls out and pushes back in.
It takes a few moments for Jensen to get a rhythm, but then he drags over Jared’s prostate and Jared unexpectedly comes, arching his back, ass tightening around Jensen as he comes all over his stomach between them.
“That was so incredibly hot,” Jensen confesses as his pace picks up.
Jared’s loose and sated as Jensen fucks into him, sending tendrils of pleasure through him each time his prostate is grazed.
Between the foreplay and Jared coming, Jensen doesn’t last much longer. His thrusts become erratic and he shoves hard into Jared, head thrown back as he fills the condom.
Jared is woken up to Jensen’s cell phone insistently ringing on the night stand. The ringing blessedly stops, the silence is nice and almost long enough for Jared to drift back to sleep, but then it starts all over again.
Jensen groans and rolls away from Jared toward the phone. ”Annoying fuckers.” “Hello?” Jensen answers the phone with his sleep rough voice. ”Holy fuck!” Jensen thinks at the same time that Jared recognizes Sandy’s voice on the other end.
He’s instantly awake and sitting up in the bed beside Jensen. The events from the night before come rushing back and he immediately feels guilty for cheating on Sandy.
“Yeah, he’s here. We had a little too much to drink last night. He uh…crashed here,” Jensen explains. ”Please let her not suspect anything. Please!” “Let me go wake him up,” Jensen tells her and calmly climbs out of bed. He’s naked and doesn’t bother to stop and put on any clothes. Jared’s dick twitches a little at the sight of Jensen’s ass and he tries hard not to think about Jensen and sex while his girlfriend is on the phone. Jensen pulls open his bedroom door and then heads back to the bed.
“Hey Jared, time to wake up buddy,” Jensen tells Jared, his eyes pleading with him to play along.
“Hm… What’s going on?” Jared mutters and Jensen hands over the phone.
“Sandy,” he tells him what he already knows.
“Thanks man,” Jared says and watches as Jensen disappears into the bathroom before he pulls the phone up to his ear.
“Sandy?” he greets her and knows he is in for a world of shit.
June 2008
“Hey Jay!” Jensen answers his phone.
“We broke up,” Jared quietly tells Jensen. He hears Jensen suck in his breath and exhale it slowly. Jared’s kinda glad that Jensen actually has to be near him for Jared to hear his thoughts because he doesn’t want to hear his pity or possible glee.
“I’m real sorry, Jare,” Jensen tells him. And Jared knows it’s the truth. He may want Jared, but he’d never want Jared to be hurt.
“Thanks,” Jared breathes out.
And they both fall into silence, just breathing on the phone with one another.
“I’m gonna have to tell the fans at Dallas,” Jared finally says.
“You don’t owe them shit!” Jensen replies, defensive anger in his voice. Jared knows how guarded Jensen is of his personal life, but that’s not how Jared is.
“Better tell them than have some fangirl ask, you know?”
“Still isn’t right,” Jensen quietly comments, Jared knows he’s right, but knows that Jensen understands his point too.
They are silent for a few more moments before Jensen speaks. “Was it ugly?”
“Yeah,” Jared admits and looks up at the ceiling to hold off the tears.
“I’m sorry.”
“Honestly not your fault. We… we just wanted different things. She wants to go back to school and to start a family, have a normal life. And I… I just decided my future wasn’t with her and her dreams. Plus, I kinda have feelings for you Jen. And that’s not fair to any of us.”
“Jared,” Jensen breathes out and Jared wants to know what he’s thinking. Wishing he could cheat and just know, now.
“Just throwing it out there. I’m not gonna do anything right now, but maybe…”
“When we get back home,” Jensen agrees and they both translate Vancouver to mean home.
“So, uh, did you find an apartment to rent for the year?” Jared changes the subject without any grace.
“Been looking but I haven’t had much luck. It’s hard to do over the internet.”
“Hmmm,” Jared murmurs in agreement.
“Know of anyone looking to lease?”
“You could crash at my place until you find a place.”
“I don’t want to push things Jared.”
“You’re not.”
Jensen sighs and then halfway concedes. “I’ll think about it.”
It’s just the opening Jared needed. Because Jared can guilt anyone into almost anything. And Jensen will do anything to keep Jared happy. And he should feel kinda guilty about it, but doesn’t really, not when he knows it is for the best. “Better think fast. Once the fangirls find out I’m back on the market I’ll have applicants for rents lined up around the block for sure,” Jared teased and they both laugh.
“Well then I’ll move in, if only to protect you from the crazies.”
Jared’s grinning when they hang up a few minutes later.
August 2008
“Move in with me,” Jared thinks as he watches Jensen move around the kitchen as he gets things ready for dinner. It’s a stupid though considering Jensen already is in his house, but Jensen’s stay isn’t permanent. And not for the first time Jared wishes Jensen can hear his thoughts too.
Instead Jared turns his attention back to his script and tries to block out Jensen’s rambling thoughts about apartments and moving out.
It ends the same way it began, with Jared goofing off. This time though there is no tension carried over from Sam losing Dean, instead there is a growing something between the two of them. Neither of them talk about it but Jensen thinks about it all the time.
Jared’s out running around the backyard with the dogs when Sadie accidentally trips him at the same time Harley lunges and tackles him for the ball. They all three go down in an awkward pile and Jared hears Jensen’s alarmed thoughts loud and frightening clear before he hits the ground.
His head hits hard, bouncing off the ground solidly before his vision starts to black out. Jensen’s worried thoughts are the last thing he hears before he passes out.
Jensen’s face is blurry for a few blinks before it comes back into focus. His eyebrows pull tight in worry and his eyes are wide with panic and fear.
The silence is deafening as Jared comes back to himself. Jared has a moment to think, ‘Am I deaf?’ before sound returns all at once.
“Jesus, Jared, say something. Tell me you’re okay,” Jensen’s voice is frantic as he gently touches Jared’s face and body. He keeps repeating a variation of his concerns but there’s something missing, something not loud and constant.
Jared blinks again and realizes Jensen’s thoughts are gone.
“I’m fine Jensen,” Jared finally speaks and the relief washes over Jensen’s face. “I’m fine.”
“You blacked out. And your head hit the ground really hard,” Jensen rambles and Jared reaches up to catch one of Jensen’s hands in his own.
“I’m fine. Gonna need some Tylenol and ice, but I’m fine,” he reassures Jensen.
And Jensen nods, relaxes enough to collapse back on his butt next to Jared. Jared doesn’t need to hear Jensen’s thoughts to know what Jensen’s thinking; he knows it because it’s how he’d feel if their positions were reversed.
“Move in with me?” Jared asks and Jensen raises an eyebrow in confusion.
“Jay, I - “ Jensen starts to speak and Jared struggles to sit up. The movement sends throbbing pain through his head but he forces it back.
“I know. But,” Jared makes sure Jensen meets his stare, “Move in with me Jen,” he repeats and he can see the understanding finally set into Jensen’s eyes.
“Okay,” Jensen quickly agrees.