Look Inversion
Okay, so I've managed to do something I've never managed to do before and that's work past the whole fake "I don't care" stage brought on by that shitty self defense mechanism in a much shorter time than normal (usually it takes me about a month to come out of my indifferent shell). So of course I now feel kinda shitty about the whole break up thing. Like I'm not depressed or anything, but I have a lot of greivances about the whole thing. I'm not gonna go into it here cuz it's something that has to be discussed on a personal level. I've also realized that actually caring again most likely isn't gonna help or change anything, but I least it lets me be honest with how I feel like I tell everyone else to be. Once I explain how I really feel about the matter, just get the stuff off my chest, I'll have the closure I need to act as a functional friend, and not be a bitter, moping ex-boyfriend. For now the final statement to go on record is this: I do care, I did take the break up worse than I showed outwardly, and I still love Brianne very much, but I am more than capable of moving on. If being with her as her friend is the only way I can be with her, that's fine with me.