Of grades, radioactive spiders, and new ideas
Well, I got the official results back for this semester. Two C's and two B's, so I'm happy. One of those C's is from a class that I started the semester off with a 27% on a test, so it's rather remarkable I was even able to pass. Certainly could have been better, but hey, I'm still in the game. I'm officially half way through the hard stuff now.
I saw Spiderman 3. It was ok. Honestly, it was a pretty good movie, it just wasn't near as good as the first two. How they did Venom was my biggest complaint. It's like they were shown a picture of him and told "his suit is an alien" and just made shit up from there. Well, looks like it's up to Harry Potter to save this summer movie season for me. I probably won't like PotC since I didn't care much for the last one, but as long as it indulges my swashbuckling Keira Knightly fantasies even further I'll be happy.
Been listening to the new NIN album. Pretty good actually, though not on par with anything he did in the 90s. Very noisy, but in a good way. Just "acquired" the new Manson album (it's not out officially for another month). So far not too impressive, but we'll see how it grows on me. I'll be interested in seeing the visual direction he takes with this.
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So I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. I've decided it's time for another "reinvention" of myself. I do this every several years, and I haven't really done one since... I think my first year in the military. I transitioned from freak (in the high school sense of the word) to geek. Now, one would think transitioning from a military serviceman to a college student would be a reinvention, but that's really just my day job, so to speak. I'm still the loud geeky old Moody. I think I was expecting a lot things to magically change once I entered college, but unsurprisingly they didn't. I'm still in a sausage fest situation (arguably more so when viewed strictly on my day to day interactions). I lost a lot of weight last summer, but I put some of it back on over the year. I'm still nowhere near as bad I was when I separated, but I'm definitely back on the heavy end of the scale now (lost 50 or so lbs, gained about 20 back). And of recent I've been getting more and more fed up with the geek subculture.
I think I've been using the internet as a replacement social life. That sounds pretty absurd, but when I think back to how much time I've spent just surfing the internet - not watching movies, playing games, just browsing - it's downright appalling. It was pretty hard for me to break my WoW addiction, and all I've done is just replace it with something else. I was getting pissed off at how immature, simplistic and petty the whole 'online' culture is. And then it donned on me - I was looking in a mirror and not liking what I was seeing. It's not like I'm really all that far removed anymore.
Basically, about 10% of my interests are of a more intellectual nature, while 90% are of a geek nature. Sure I enjoy music, literature, poetry, history, and to a limited extent science, but they always played second fiddle to anime, video games, sci-fi/fantasy, etc. I intend to swap that ratio. I don't intend on abandoning all my geek hobbies, just shoving them to the background.
This came about by a lot of things, not just reflections on my internet dwellings. I think a lot of it has come from a dissatisfaction with the world around me in general, not just my own private slice of it. We are living in a society that no longer values culture and progress. But before I start condemning the world around me, do I really value these things myself? The fact of the matter is I do. And I wondered why I didn't spend more time engaging in these activities that overall produce a greater sense of self satisfaction.
But it's not just a matter of hobbies, it's also a sense of self identity. I've identified myself as a geek now for - what - 5, 6 years? And just what has it gotten me? Thousands of dollars worth of junk and years of my youth lost in a world of escapism.
I think to best sum it up, I'll quote a notorious little book:
First Corinthians 13:11 -
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
Perhaps a bit harsh to the culture I used to love so much, but I see people I knew getting married and having kids, and I'm still watching cartoons and hanging out on the internet.
This summer I have quite a few things I want to accomplish (mainly get into shape, sever my online addiction, become more cultured), and then once school starts become a lot more proactive about that whole "life" thing I keep hearing about. Ideally, I'd like to get married before I leave school and I need to get cracking if I want to make that happen. I'm seven years older than all those single freshman gals now =/. There is a couple of non-geek clubs I'm thinking of joining, mainly just to meet members of the opposite sex because gods know I can't do that in my major. I've gained some weight, but I lost weight before, so I know how to do it, it's just a matter of disciplining myself to do it again. I'm going to try and culture/educate myself further in certain areas as well. I'm really getting into Jazz (I'm beginning to understand why it's called the classical music of america), so I'm going to learn more about that, as well as try to get into some more science related subjects (particularly astronomy) and read some of those wonderful books growing dust on my shelf.
To start off I think I'll make a facebook profile. College students apparently don't use myspace. You need either a college or work email in order to make a profile, and you can severely limit access to your profile (for example, no one except Purdue students could access mine unless I personally ok them). It might seem odd severing an online addiction would include establishing an online profile, but it does actually make sense. It's one more line stretching out to the outside world, one more connection. No forums, no nothing like that.
I picked up some workout clothes and an mp3 player (not one of those infernal ipods), and earlier this semester I picked up a nice pair of new balance running shoes. There is a cool park/forest area near campus, so I think I'll run there. I hate running on pavement and treadmills (mainly because of shin splints), so I think I'll enjoy running on the paths in that forest much better. No need to push for times like in the air force, just run/jog as much as I can and walk whenever I feel like it. No miles or times to make, just lose weight. My apartment complex has a gym so I'll do some strength training as well. Since I'm going rock climbing/white water rafting at the end of the summer I need to build up some upper body strength.
I'm debating starting a new livejournal or a just deleting most of these entries. I'm leaning towards developing a new online personality for myself. I've used "azrael910" for so long now it's hard to imagine using something else, but I think it might be high time that I did.
I saw Spiderman 3. It was ok. Honestly, it was a pretty good movie, it just wasn't near as good as the first two. How they did Venom was my biggest complaint. It's like they were shown a picture of him and told "his suit is an alien" and just made shit up from there. Well, looks like it's up to Harry Potter to save this summer movie season for me. I probably won't like PotC since I didn't care much for the last one, but as long as it indulges my swashbuckling Keira Knightly fantasies even further I'll be happy.
Been listening to the new NIN album. Pretty good actually, though not on par with anything he did in the 90s. Very noisy, but in a good way. Just "acquired" the new Manson album (it's not out officially for another month). So far not too impressive, but we'll see how it grows on me. I'll be interested in seeing the visual direction he takes with this.
~----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~
So I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. I've decided it's time for another "reinvention" of myself. I do this every several years, and I haven't really done one since... I think my first year in the military. I transitioned from freak (in the high school sense of the word) to geek. Now, one would think transitioning from a military serviceman to a college student would be a reinvention, but that's really just my day job, so to speak. I'm still the loud geeky old Moody. I think I was expecting a lot things to magically change once I entered college, but unsurprisingly they didn't. I'm still in a sausage fest situation (arguably more so when viewed strictly on my day to day interactions). I lost a lot of weight last summer, but I put some of it back on over the year. I'm still nowhere near as bad I was when I separated, but I'm definitely back on the heavy end of the scale now (lost 50 or so lbs, gained about 20 back). And of recent I've been getting more and more fed up with the geek subculture.
I think I've been using the internet as a replacement social life. That sounds pretty absurd, but when I think back to how much time I've spent just surfing the internet - not watching movies, playing games, just browsing - it's downright appalling. It was pretty hard for me to break my WoW addiction, and all I've done is just replace it with something else. I was getting pissed off at how immature, simplistic and petty the whole 'online' culture is. And then it donned on me - I was looking in a mirror and not liking what I was seeing. It's not like I'm really all that far removed anymore.
Basically, about 10% of my interests are of a more intellectual nature, while 90% are of a geek nature. Sure I enjoy music, literature, poetry, history, and to a limited extent science, but they always played second fiddle to anime, video games, sci-fi/fantasy, etc. I intend to swap that ratio. I don't intend on abandoning all my geek hobbies, just shoving them to the background.
This came about by a lot of things, not just reflections on my internet dwellings. I think a lot of it has come from a dissatisfaction with the world around me in general, not just my own private slice of it. We are living in a society that no longer values culture and progress. But before I start condemning the world around me, do I really value these things myself? The fact of the matter is I do. And I wondered why I didn't spend more time engaging in these activities that overall produce a greater sense of self satisfaction.
But it's not just a matter of hobbies, it's also a sense of self identity. I've identified myself as a geek now for - what - 5, 6 years? And just what has it gotten me? Thousands of dollars worth of junk and years of my youth lost in a world of escapism.
I think to best sum it up, I'll quote a notorious little book:
First Corinthians 13:11 -
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
Perhaps a bit harsh to the culture I used to love so much, but I see people I knew getting married and having kids, and I'm still watching cartoons and hanging out on the internet.
This summer I have quite a few things I want to accomplish (mainly get into shape, sever my online addiction, become more cultured), and then once school starts become a lot more proactive about that whole "life" thing I keep hearing about. Ideally, I'd like to get married before I leave school and I need to get cracking if I want to make that happen. I'm seven years older than all those single freshman gals now =/. There is a couple of non-geek clubs I'm thinking of joining, mainly just to meet members of the opposite sex because gods know I can't do that in my major. I've gained some weight, but I lost weight before, so I know how to do it, it's just a matter of disciplining myself to do it again. I'm going to try and culture/educate myself further in certain areas as well. I'm really getting into Jazz (I'm beginning to understand why it's called the classical music of america), so I'm going to learn more about that, as well as try to get into some more science related subjects (particularly astronomy) and read some of those wonderful books growing dust on my shelf.
To start off I think I'll make a facebook profile. College students apparently don't use myspace. You need either a college or work email in order to make a profile, and you can severely limit access to your profile (for example, no one except Purdue students could access mine unless I personally ok them). It might seem odd severing an online addiction would include establishing an online profile, but it does actually make sense. It's one more line stretching out to the outside world, one more connection. No forums, no nothing like that.
I picked up some workout clothes and an mp3 player (not one of those infernal ipods), and earlier this semester I picked up a nice pair of new balance running shoes. There is a cool park/forest area near campus, so I think I'll run there. I hate running on pavement and treadmills (mainly because of shin splints), so I think I'll enjoy running on the paths in that forest much better. No need to push for times like in the air force, just run/jog as much as I can and walk whenever I feel like it. No miles or times to make, just lose weight. My apartment complex has a gym so I'll do some strength training as well. Since I'm going rock climbing/white water rafting at the end of the summer I need to build up some upper body strength.
I'm debating starting a new livejournal or a just deleting most of these entries. I'm leaning towards developing a new online personality for myself. I've used "azrael910" for so long now it's hard to imagine using something else, but I think it might be high time that I did.