long time
haha been a long time since my last post... i really didnt feel like posting cuz no1s gonna read it neways but...its just for my own sake i guess...for memories or wateva...it is a journal right??
on my way home today from church i was thinkin and like i was just wondering why everything is so different. i was just thinkin about how happy i was gonna be when i left for college. i dont know why i think that because in order to leave for college i leave behind all the "friends" that i have. but they i realize that me and my friends are always so distant. and then i wonder why my friends always change and leave me. the ones that i felt that our bonds were strong...the ones i saw as my best of friends... everyone that i have gotten close to have all left me behind. i dont think they do it on purpose its just that people change...and when they change...i stay the same and i just stay where i was. i realize that i cant hope for too much because HEY the world doesnt revolve around me. i can deal with it all because im still the same person i always was. i know that i always have my friends from back in the day cuz come on...15 years of friendship is something that is hard to lose. but the friends that i come to know and come to love just arent always there. i realized that i come close to certain people and then eventually we drift apart...no matter how hard i try to keep things together. i work to bring these relationships back to where they once were but then i understand that it is impossible. they change to a point where nothing could be the same as everything once was. i wish that it was different because friends mean a great deal to me. but wat am i supposed to do about it?? like the people i meet and we get to talkin a lot for a couple days and then after that its like whered u go? or the ones that i become really close to and they just suddenly disappear not even having the time to talk.
the lesson i learned from all this is that i need to start thinkin and doin things for the now and not for the later. i need to realize that it only takes a split second for everything in life to change and i need to be able to roll with the punches and just take it as it comes. ill still try and be friends and all...but its just like i wont push it cuz if they dont want my friendship...den alright...i cant control how they feel about me
on my way home today from church i was thinkin and like i was just wondering why everything is so different. i was just thinkin about how happy i was gonna be when i left for college. i dont know why i think that because in order to leave for college i leave behind all the "friends" that i have. but they i realize that me and my friends are always so distant. and then i wonder why my friends always change and leave me. the ones that i felt that our bonds were strong...the ones i saw as my best of friends... everyone that i have gotten close to have all left me behind. i dont think they do it on purpose its just that people change...and when they change...i stay the same and i just stay where i was. i realize that i cant hope for too much because HEY the world doesnt revolve around me. i can deal with it all because im still the same person i always was. i know that i always have my friends from back in the day cuz come on...15 years of friendship is something that is hard to lose. but the friends that i come to know and come to love just arent always there. i realized that i come close to certain people and then eventually we drift apart...no matter how hard i try to keep things together. i work to bring these relationships back to where they once were but then i understand that it is impossible. they change to a point where nothing could be the same as everything once was. i wish that it was different because friends mean a great deal to me. but wat am i supposed to do about it?? like the people i meet and we get to talkin a lot for a couple days and then after that its like whered u go? or the ones that i become really close to and they just suddenly disappear not even having the time to talk.
the lesson i learned from all this is that i need to start thinkin and doin things for the now and not for the later. i need to realize that it only takes a split second for everything in life to change and i need to be able to roll with the punches and just take it as it comes. ill still try and be friends and all...but its just like i wont push it cuz if they dont want my friendship...den alright...i cant control how they feel about me