(no subject)
I was going to update this thing yesterday but I was too fucking exhausted from the retreat I went to from Friday-Saturday. I got back yesterday and I really learned a lot!
The retreat basically consisted of two schools, Oswego and Cortland and it was about 28 kids in there. I got to meet all of them and talk to them, as well as get to know the people who were in Oswego better. I have to say, I was involved in a lot of the discussions and I loved it. It was really comforting to sit in a group of people who were my age and thought exactly the same way I did. It made me feel so much better about myself and also gave me the comfort that I'm not alone in this campus. I'll have to admit, I lied a little when I said I was having a great time b/c I didn't the first 3 weeks. It was a living hell for me and I did some things I regret. I wasn't my true self, I was ashamed of being Catholic, and ashamed to express my faith at all. I was some crazy dumbass who cursed or swore every five seconds, lied, and was a total cold-hearted two faced bitch. Now I'm back to the same page I was when I was in high school, the real Rosanne who everyone knows. And how did that happen? Well I know this is going to sound corny but, I did find God in that retreat. No lie.
During a walk to Green Lakes, we had to walk back and were trying to find a shortcut. And then someone thought the best shortcut would be to climb this extremely steep, 100 foot hill which was going to get us back to the retreat house faster. Everyone started to climb the hill but I thought some people would back down since it was extremely dangerous. Ironically enough, no one backed down so I was forced to climb it myself. It really sucked b/c:
1) I'm scared to death of heights!!
2) Me+climibing dangerous hill= NO!!
During that climb, I started to realize this was a test. It was not only a test of endurance, it was a test to see how much I trusted the other people who were helping me out. It took me half an hour to climb that damn thing and it was one of the hardest things I had to do. I kept slipping off the cliff, thinking I was gonna die, but I kept getting back up and climbing up again. As I was doing this, I kept thinking of my first three weeks in college. I kept slipping up in a lot of aspects, but I picked myself up again. When I finally got to the top with the rest of my friends, it was just overwhelming. I was so tired, so sick, but then someone told me to look down to see what I had accomplished. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know whether to cry or laugh or anything. It was beyond words to see what I did. It didn't make me feel great until later on but, it did help me get back the faith I lost. I think yesterday God showed me in His own little way that I can get through college and can do anything I set my mind to. That hike up the hill probably was one of the most spiritual experiences I've ever had and one I'm never going to forget. ^_^
I'm me again.
The retreat basically consisted of two schools, Oswego and Cortland and it was about 28 kids in there. I got to meet all of them and talk to them, as well as get to know the people who were in Oswego better. I have to say, I was involved in a lot of the discussions and I loved it. It was really comforting to sit in a group of people who were my age and thought exactly the same way I did. It made me feel so much better about myself and also gave me the comfort that I'm not alone in this campus. I'll have to admit, I lied a little when I said I was having a great time b/c I didn't the first 3 weeks. It was a living hell for me and I did some things I regret. I wasn't my true self, I was ashamed of being Catholic, and ashamed to express my faith at all. I was some crazy dumbass who cursed or swore every five seconds, lied, and was a total cold-hearted two faced bitch. Now I'm back to the same page I was when I was in high school, the real Rosanne who everyone knows. And how did that happen? Well I know this is going to sound corny but, I did find God in that retreat. No lie.
During a walk to Green Lakes, we had to walk back and were trying to find a shortcut. And then someone thought the best shortcut would be to climb this extremely steep, 100 foot hill which was going to get us back to the retreat house faster. Everyone started to climb the hill but I thought some people would back down since it was extremely dangerous. Ironically enough, no one backed down so I was forced to climb it myself. It really sucked b/c:
1) I'm scared to death of heights!!
2) Me+climibing dangerous hill= NO!!
During that climb, I started to realize this was a test. It was not only a test of endurance, it was a test to see how much I trusted the other people who were helping me out. It took me half an hour to climb that damn thing and it was one of the hardest things I had to do. I kept slipping off the cliff, thinking I was gonna die, but I kept getting back up and climbing up again. As I was doing this, I kept thinking of my first three weeks in college. I kept slipping up in a lot of aspects, but I picked myself up again. When I finally got to the top with the rest of my friends, it was just overwhelming. I was so tired, so sick, but then someone told me to look down to see what I had accomplished. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know whether to cry or laugh or anything. It was beyond words to see what I did. It didn't make me feel great until later on but, it did help me get back the faith I lost. I think yesterday God showed me in His own little way that I can get through college and can do anything I set my mind to. That hike up the hill probably was one of the most spiritual experiences I've ever had and one I'm never going to forget. ^_^
I'm me again.