[Complete] Misery's Penance
Title: Misery's Penance
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Play/Lines: Othello: "I understand a fury in your words, but not the words." -Desdemona (IV.ii.34-35)
Rating & Warnings: K, Warnings for episode 37/38, mentions of attempted suicide
Summary: Anthy's emotions get the better of her, and in a direction which she regrets.
Notes: For 10_shakespeare. This could be like a companion piece to "Silence" but stands alone quite well on its own.
“You’re running away?!” Your accusation echoed through the void that was my soul. It stung, mocked, hated my actions. It twisted my act of atonement, my personal redemption, into something hideous in your eyes, the lowest of the low. You do not deserve to call me out on it. You were the one who was blind.
No more, no more. And thus, I fell.
“You’re just going to run?!” You repeated, as you grabbed onto my wrist, your tone of voice more adamant than earlier. I asked for forgiveness, because I knew, clearly I knew, I would hurt you by jumping. I suppose it was for my own benefit as well, because I never told you something. Something important. I had my chances, yes, many times. And I never acted upon it.
Now, when I did, when I finally did something, suddenly it was wrong. You denied me. You ignored my wants, my needs.
I am angry with you, Utena-sama. You are angry with me as well.
“Don’t we have a date to have tea and laugh together in ten years?!” You cried over the wind. Stop it, Utena-sama! Guilt me some more, shame me; I wanted to feel your hate! So why didn’t I feel it? Why was that, Utena-sama? Why? Stop pretending like you cared about me. I know I haven’t been on your mind in the last few days. Your thoughts were easily filled about him. Yes, him.
I want you, my Victor, to let me go. Don’t pull me up. You’re acting like the old Utena-sama. I want the other person, the one that is jealous, indifferent, and cruel. I’ve seen her recently, but where is she now? Why is there still a speck of that noble spirit you have? I truly hate it when you’re being noble.
Girls eventually go on to become Rose Brides. Girls who weren’t Princesses were Rose Brides.
You seem to have finally caught on, Utena-sama.
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Play/Lines: Othello: "I understand a fury in your words, but not the words." -Desdemona (IV.ii.34-35)
Rating & Warnings: K, Warnings for episode 37/38, mentions of attempted suicide
Summary: Anthy's emotions get the better of her, and in a direction which she regrets.
Notes: For 10_shakespeare. This could be like a companion piece to "Silence" but stands alone quite well on its own.
“You’re running away?!” Your accusation echoed through the void that was my soul. It stung, mocked, hated my actions. It twisted my act of atonement, my personal redemption, into something hideous in your eyes, the lowest of the low. You do not deserve to call me out on it. You were the one who was blind.
No more, no more. And thus, I fell.
“You’re just going to run?!” You repeated, as you grabbed onto my wrist, your tone of voice more adamant than earlier. I asked for forgiveness, because I knew, clearly I knew, I would hurt you by jumping. I suppose it was for my own benefit as well, because I never told you something. Something important. I had my chances, yes, many times. And I never acted upon it.
Now, when I did, when I finally did something, suddenly it was wrong. You denied me. You ignored my wants, my needs.
I am angry with you, Utena-sama. You are angry with me as well.
“Don’t we have a date to have tea and laugh together in ten years?!” You cried over the wind. Stop it, Utena-sama! Guilt me some more, shame me; I wanted to feel your hate! So why didn’t I feel it? Why was that, Utena-sama? Why? Stop pretending like you cared about me. I know I haven’t been on your mind in the last few days. Your thoughts were easily filled about him. Yes, him.
I want you, my Victor, to let me go. Don’t pull me up. You’re acting like the old Utena-sama. I want the other person, the one that is jealous, indifferent, and cruel. I’ve seen her recently, but where is she now? Why is there still a speck of that noble spirit you have? I truly hate it when you’re being noble.
Girls eventually go on to become Rose Brides. Girls who weren’t Princesses were Rose Brides.
You seem to have finally caught on, Utena-sama.