Match.com
Title: Match.com
Author: Aznmen
Pairing: JaeSu (maybe?)
Genre: Crack~
Words: 1865
Length: 1/4
Summary: Match.com… Jaejoong attempts to get a match at match.com… but he can’t look like DBSK’s Jaejoong, right?
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“People say that the commercials for match.com aren’t real… that they’re hired couples…” Match.com… I wonder if I could try meeting new people?
Open window. Type in username and password… a catchy username… but not something that would make people think I’m snobby. JJRox? Naw, too snobbish… hotaznboy… grrr… Jaejoong… that would make it- doh… already taken… kherojj… yes! Password… done! Email address, check! Verification code, 5K6TT9, done… and wait for an email to be sent.
Knowing that the authorization emails are normally sent instantly, I quickly check my email in the junk folder. Sure enough, “Match.com Authorization Code: …”
Clicking it, and the link displayed in it as well, I quickly am working around match.com. It all starts with a look. Their slogan is on the top of the website, and I quickly make a profile. I’m almost afraid that it won’t work, that this won’t … be true. I hardly get out, pictures of me are all over the net… how was I going to make this be me… but not be me?
Running to the bathroom, Junsu looking at me curiously as I pass, I take my camera, and some of the washout hair dye we like to play with sometimes. This would work out… the stylist was planning on dying my hair a blonde-ish colour soon, and so the black with… blue, red, or… ooh white! Yes! Taking the white, I spray random streaks, not too wide, all over my hair. I muss it up, making sure to make some of the tips have white, and look more… frazzled, I suppose. It still looked really good! But… it still looked too much like DBSK’s Jaejoong. Eyeliner. Going through each drawer, I quickly find pure black eyeliner, and add a line underneath each eye. Two inverted cross earrings… beanie? No… it would mess my tousled hair up. Black goth-like shirt… and done! I think I look quite fine. Taking a few pictures, in different poses, all quite sexy might I add, I run back out, still in my get-out.
Laughing slightly at Junsu’s surprised face, I run back to the computer and attach the USB port on the camera to the computer. Upload a picture. Click.
Which one is the best? Flipping through the ten pictures I had taken, nine of them in the bathroom, one laughing at Junsu’s reaction. Liking how the laughing one looked, I uploaded that one, making sure that you couldn’t see anything discriminating in the background. That would be the default picture. Loading a few other pictures as backup pictures, I went on.
I am a ____ (male) looking for _______ (females) ages _______ 20-25.
Start a Love Story. Another slogan shines on the top of the site. Pictures of woman displayed on the front page, ranging in the ages I put. Admiring a few of the pictures, I was startled as Junsu crept up on me, putting his hands on my shoulders.
“Hyung! Why are you on this site?” Junsu sat quickly on the chair next to the computer, watching as I scrolled through some of the pages. “Oh look! She’s really pretty!” Poking the screen, I quickly smack his hand away.
“Junsu, don’t. You don’t want to hurt our precious.”
Junsu brought his hand back, nursing his wounds exaggeratedly. This time holding back his urge to poke the screen, Junsu motioned to the screen instead, his finger hovering too close to be comfortable to the woman’s picture.
“Click her Hyung! I wanna see!” I shake my head, but obey Junsu’s commands. “Look at her pictures!” Click.
“Ohh…” we both groan, and I quickly go to the previous page… up close, she wasn’t the nicest looking swan. Photoshop maybe?
Wait… She is nice… I click into it, Junsu rolling his eyes, but when I make her picture bigger, our eyes grow wide. “Nice…” We murmur in stereo.
She was beautiful. She may not have been the most endowed, but she seemed to have the kindest, warmest eyes, and her face had a gentle look to it. Reading her bio, I quickly sent her a nudge, or whatever it was to get her attention, and sat back. It said she was online… but… then again I look like some sort of emo goth kid. Agh… maybe, she liked them?
Junsu nudged me over, and I scooted over, and Junsu sat next to me. “Show me what picture you put in.”
“Junsu…”
“Huh?”
“Look at me.” I motion to what I’m wearing. I did just take the picture.
“Oh… well, Hyung, you look like a very sexy emo.” Junsu laughed, “But… maybe we can make you look like some super star… without making you look like… Jaejoong SupaSta.”
“Can we do that?” Junsu smirked, “Let out inner stylist Junsu. Take out all the white hair dye, and makeup you put on.”
Going over to the bathroom for the second time - for these purposes - I quickly wash out the dye, and take out a washcloth to wipe off the makeup. My face now red from my efforts, I towel my hair and face down, and walk back to Junsu once my face is almost normal colour again.
“Ah! Look it’s Jaejoong again! Not Emo!Jae.”
I smile at his feeble excuse at a joke, and go over. “You were going to make me a super star… without making me … what was it? ‘Jaejoong SupaSta’?”
Junsu nods, pushed up his sleeves, and moved me over to a chair I had no idea we had. Putting a sort of apron over my chest and shoulders, he leaned me back. It could lean back? Mixing liquids and powders together, he applied some of it to my hair, and then used a … paintbrush?? Well… he painted (?) it onto my hair, and made me stay leaned back. He ran off to do something or other, and then came back with my glasses, and scissors.
“Kim Junsu… what are you going to do with those scissors?” I ask threateningly, afraid to let him near my hair with those scissors.
“Just making your bangs a little neater?”
“The stylist can do that later.”
“I’m making her job easier. Stay still, or you’ll be stuck with something you don’t want.”
My attempt to jump from the chair and run (dignified, mind you) was ruined as he straddled me, and held onto my face. This, as all evil coincidences love to do, would be the time that Changmin walked in to use the computer. I didn’t quite see why though… he had his own laptop… why did he need this computer? But it didn’t matter… his face quickly drew scarlet, and he walked back out, muttering… Was that a JaeSu??
Never mind him, Junsu was still close to me… with scissors!! Drawing farther back in my chair, he instead got closer, “Jaejoong… if you don’t behave, I will scream… and I’ll tell them that you attempted to molest me.”
“How could you say that? It’s obvious in this position that you would be molesting me.”
“Oh … good point. Well, I’ll … do something that you will regret if you don’t go along with this.”
Afraid of what he could possibly do, because Junsu isn’t as cute as he seems sometimes, I let him come closer with the scissors, although my eyes were closed. A few snip-snips and my nose was touched by my beautiful hair departing from the rest of my hair… aishh… had I really just let him do this?
Panicking slightly, my breath came out in slight pants, and I kept wondering if this was such a good idea. Finally, he drew back, “It’s done, Jae, you can stop hyperventilating on me.”
Taking out a mirror from who knew where, he was about to show what I looked like, when he realized I still had the dye in my hair. Checking his watch - I didn’t know he wore a watch - he nodded, “Time to rinse it out.”
Leading me to the bathroom - third time? - he kept me out of sight of the mirrors. How he did that I have no idea, considering they are these big things that no one can miss…
Then he pushed my head into the sink, and ran the faucet, running his hands through my hair and washing out the dye. It was cold at first, but then he must have noticed and turned it to warm, so I didn’t mind it as much. Since this was happening so fast, it was almost as if I didn’t care how I was going to look… wait… how was I going to look? I didn’t even know what colour Junsu had just dyed my hair? And how was the stylist going to like it? Would she kill me? Oh god… she’s going to kill me.
“Jae, you’re hyperventilating again.” Taking out a towel, he quickly towel-dried my hair, and then a hair dryer. Letting the warm air cool my cheeks and hair, I closed my eyes and let him do it. But what was this going to look like? What if…? Wait… what were we doing this for anyway? I forgot… wait… wait, I have it! Match.com? What if that girl wasn’t even going to like it? What if she already looked at my goth pictures? What if---?
“Jae look.” We were in front of the mirrors, and I looked for real. Oh my god… I touch my face, and go up closer. I looked… wow… Jumping up and down, I hug Junsu real quick, and then go off to find my camera again, but he grabs my hand.
“Glasses. And I have an outfit for you.”
Putting on the glasses, I follow him to his room. He pulls out a white suit, not unlike the one of the picture of him he has on his desktop.
Handing it to me, I undress, and put it on. All in front of him, I didn’t really care, we were all men here, right?
The sleeves fit nicely, surprisingly, since they were Junsu’s, and the shoulders and neck were perfect. The pants were slightly big, my waist was too tiny. It didn’t matter though, it was perfect.
Now running back to the computer room, and camera, I pass Yunho, who looks at me once, and then peaks out of the kitchen again, unsure of the identity of this person. “Junsu!! Take pictures!!”
Handing him the camera, I sit back in my chair and attempt poses like we’re told to do at photoshoots. He gives me back the camera once we’re done, and I attach the camera to the computer once more. Refreshing the original page, I notice that my profile views have gone up, but the lady hadn’t checked in yet. Upload a picture? Yes. From where? Browse. Clicking a few more pictures, and making my favourite one my default pic I save. Please, please, please look now. I refresh once more, and notice a nudge on the top. It was from her!
Junsu nudges me, “Close out.”
“What? But I just got a …” My voice dies out as I see Manager Hyung. Dang it… so much for meeting new people…