High-strung
Ugh I wish I could go back to work sooner, as off-kilter as that may sound. I have to take anti-biotic for a skin infection until tomorrow so I couldn't work this whole week. Having so much free time is only stressing me out. It allows me to think too much and give in to my anxieties. I need to be strong and fight them as best as I can. Fortunately work is good for that in that it distracts me. It's also helpful in the sense that I earn money, and money makes me feel better, because its tangible evidence that I'm accomplishing my life goals. Life's too short to have to deal with all this crap and anxiety and it's really working my last good nerve.
I'm motivated to get the things I want which is something in the earlier parts of my life I never felt. I just wanted things to end, to be through with things I had to do, and I was all around tired with life. Now I want things to start, I want to keep working on things and do a good job, and life feels fulfilling. I feel like I'm not doing enough though. I mean I'm earning money which I want to save which is important to me, but I could be trying to learn more and educate myself more before school starts but I'm not sure how to do that without taking summer classes I have no money for. I also feel as though things are holding me back. As much as I may love my mother I think she impedes my ability to be independent of her. But I think she's good in that she brings a positive attitude into my life.
Speaking of which, I think I need to cut out a lot of negativity in my life. Negative thinking, negative foods (junk food and caffeine) and, although it's not an issue now because I don't usually give negative people the time, negative people.
I'm motivated to get the things I want which is something in the earlier parts of my life I never felt. I just wanted things to end, to be through with things I had to do, and I was all around tired with life. Now I want things to start, I want to keep working on things and do a good job, and life feels fulfilling. I feel like I'm not doing enough though. I mean I'm earning money which I want to save which is important to me, but I could be trying to learn more and educate myself more before school starts but I'm not sure how to do that without taking summer classes I have no money for. I also feel as though things are holding me back. As much as I may love my mother I think she impedes my ability to be independent of her. But I think she's good in that she brings a positive attitude into my life.
Speaking of which, I think I need to cut out a lot of negativity in my life. Negative thinking, negative foods (junk food and caffeine) and, although it's not an issue now because I don't usually give negative people the time, negative people.