Map of our hearts....our thoughts....our everything.
"i've had a crush on you since we met. couldn't you tell by the way i was ignoring you?"
how sad that it's true... that when we want something,we avoid it. we play these games with each other... "if i ignore him... will he come after me?" "if i chase after her... will she think i'm unchallenging?" we question our own thoughts... our own feelings for these games. we make these things so much more complex than they need be. but you know what? some thoughts are better left unthunk. cursed fate... why must be question it.
be direct... be forward. speak your heart... what do you have to lose. these games we play? well... maybe some games are worth losing. because everyone says i love you... but how many of you do mean it... and how many of you do show it. if you are honest with yourself from the beginning... then you would never have to question... if it's true.
"love only needs to happen right once."
i can't be any more obvious.i am... self confident.not cocky. well.. i hope no one thinks i'm cocky.
just patient... grateful...i think i can do anything... and i think i can be good at it.
because i will work at it until i am.because i believe i can be.so there's nothing i can't do.
i am passionate. i am determined. i am true.and like everything i've had to work for in my life... to be the best... to have the best... you must work at it... so i believe.
but love... love shouldn't be work. love should be my reward for all that i put in. all of myself that i've given. because knowing me... i would give you the world if you asked. and i... i would've done everything i could... to give you this world.
and you hold the world in one hand... and my heart in the other.
you take them both... and put them aside. and i wait gratefully... patiently... to be happy. why? because i'm so use to working for everything i want. work so hard... that i didn't notice my heart still on the side... next to the world i'm willing to give you. and i see now that you are not worth it. all that i've done... and all that you take just to be placed aside. i see that now.
and i... i am confident. and you... you are not worth it. and when i give my heart... he will be worth it all. i'm sure of it. so this year... i am determined to be the best... and have the best... never settle for less... because i deserve it. cause i've worked too hard to ever settle. and you shouldn't either.
"i am where i've been... you are where i need to go."
have you ever felt like your life has started becoming routine? my life has become this movie playing on repeat and i've lost my universal remote control. i wake up at 5:30am... get to school by 7:30... sit in the classroom staring at the teacher. i work. i eat lunch... pretend to work some more. look out the window to the beautiful day outside. work some more. get off school at 3... get home. work. eat dinner. work. sleep and repeat.
when i feel this way... i love to do something totally spontanious just to change things up. do something i would normally never do.
to me... where i've been... and where i need to go next,is what life is about.
where have you been? where do you need to go?
through my own experiences... all cities are the same. different place... always the same situation. but it's never where you're at... it's who you are with. they make the place what it is. they make the memories. and it's the memories that make us immortal. for me... i'm not searching for a place... i'm searching for the moments we make at the places we are at.
"i rather spend one minute holding you than spend the rest of my life not knowing that i could."
will my minute ever come? will that minute be worth it all? and i ask myself this when i think of you. anyone who matters will try to understand who you are. and so i thought. but what are you left with when no one tries to understand you? what if you are just too complex to be understood? does that mean no one matters? maybe i expect too much from people... so i feel... disappointed. maybe people expect too much from me... so i'm scared to disappoint.
but isn't fear a good thing? with fear comes uncertainty... mystery... doubts... excitment... with fear comes the unexpected... because... sometimes, you just don't know what will happen... and not knowing is the passion that drives us all... to make each day more interesting than the day before.
i try to understand why i am so unlucky in love. maybe this fear i have haunting over me is causing me to give myself this luck. this fear of disappointment. this fear to disappoint. and so i asked a great friend of mine... i ask him... why am i so unlucky in love? unlucky when it comes to love? he tells me, "most guys know they're not good enough... for someone like you." i tell him i wish that was true. shouldn't guys want the best for themselves? he says, "it is true. but some guys just don't believe they can be the best for you."