I think I like someone
So I think I like someone. Real bad. And that could only mean bad.
In the two other instances that I've liked someone this much, I have mustered the courage and the boldness to express my feelings for the person in a way or another. For the first one, I did it through email. For the second, it was a face to face thing. All that love poured in front of them, and I have never experienced any in return. I am used to rejection - all my life, and it doesn't really hurt anymore. That's exactly why I am totally ok with confessing my feelings. I have thrown my pride away and I don't care the slightest bit about getting rejected.
It's like writing or making art. You make it, then you show it. Then, you don't necessarily look for attention. It's just there for people to enjoy, and that's exactly why you made it. For people to appreciate, but they don't have to necessarily appreciate you.
But why am I this hesitant to confess my feelings for my new crush? He's not actually new, and he's not really a crush. They say, if you've been thinking about that person for more than 2 months, then it's probably love, not just some sort of infatuation. So I guess I've been in love with him for about 2 months.
What's strange is I have sort of wanted to expect something in return. If I were to confess to him, getting rejected would really hurt. I mean, it does, but I think if I will be rejected by this specific person, then I'd go into some emotional coma for a year.
So I will not do any confessing or anything near the deed.
I will just wait, and rot in vain, thinking about what could have possibly ensued had I been true to him about my feelings.
:|
This is not helping.
I have dearly loved several people, and I have never been loved in return. I have lost trust in love itself. What evasive nature! How fickle-minded. But I can't help but be fascinated at how it has shaped countries, molded worlds... ideas.. all that shit.
Love is the one thing I will never understand. But I have my whole life dedicated to finding out more about it.
In the two other instances that I've liked someone this much, I have mustered the courage and the boldness to express my feelings for the person in a way or another. For the first one, I did it through email. For the second, it was a face to face thing. All that love poured in front of them, and I have never experienced any in return. I am used to rejection - all my life, and it doesn't really hurt anymore. That's exactly why I am totally ok with confessing my feelings. I have thrown my pride away and I don't care the slightest bit about getting rejected.
It's like writing or making art. You make it, then you show it. Then, you don't necessarily look for attention. It's just there for people to enjoy, and that's exactly why you made it. For people to appreciate, but they don't have to necessarily appreciate you.
But why am I this hesitant to confess my feelings for my new crush? He's not actually new, and he's not really a crush. They say, if you've been thinking about that person for more than 2 months, then it's probably love, not just some sort of infatuation. So I guess I've been in love with him for about 2 months.
What's strange is I have sort of wanted to expect something in return. If I were to confess to him, getting rejected would really hurt. I mean, it does, but I think if I will be rejected by this specific person, then I'd go into some emotional coma for a year.
So I will not do any confessing or anything near the deed.
I will just wait, and rot in vain, thinking about what could have possibly ensued had I been true to him about my feelings.
:|
This is not helping.
I have dearly loved several people, and I have never been loved in return. I have lost trust in love itself. What evasive nature! How fickle-minded. But I can't help but be fascinated at how it has shaped countries, molded worlds... ideas.. all that shit.
Love is the one thing I will never understand. But I have my whole life dedicated to finding out more about it.