march break sucked kinda.... and yeah
trying to sell paintball equipment / guns... i want an Ego... the gun. I don't know... i found out that the place beside my work might pay me 15 bucks an hour to work for them... and i'd actually get to eat at some point in the day. That means at 8 hours a day for 5 days = 40 H * 15 = 600/week * 4 weeks = 2400 a month = i make prototypes and develop more stuff... then college, where i graduate YAY. and come out making hopefully 45 grand a year... for a bit.. and then i might go on vacation for the first time in.... what, going on 6 years now i believe. Maybe I'll travel, and drop in on someone special... my.. special new friend, I recently was given a nudge and a reality check, and i accept the reasons and choices made. I understand that all that was and is has not changed for myself, but i will control myself in order to allow people to focus on what needs to be done, and to let them grow in peace "free of my semi-induced torture" cuz im too fine ;)... my foreseeable future is a boring one... hopefully something eventful happens... maybe ill sell the stuff i need to and actually afford the new demon of a face mowing gun i want.. and maybe.. if im lucky.. i with fates help will find my way to my destiny. Until that time, i lay here waiting, smiling, and hoping that some day soon... my life will be in my own hands. I know this will seem cryptic... but this journal is more so for myself and those who know what im talking about as a reference than an open forum for discussion. A hug to you all... im in a loving mood ;)