Sorry for the long absence

[azlizard619]

I doubt anyone still reads this anymore since I've stopped writing all the time...I guess I have so much going on anymore that I really don't even get online anymore. I guess I can kinda fill y'all in on what has been going on...I am still working all the time...harder than I should I guess. I spend at least 5 days a week with Chris. I usually go to his house...but here lately he has really enjoyed coming to my house and helping my dad with outside projects that have needed to get done. Chris and I went to a Keys game a few Friday's ago. We had a great time! The fireworks were awesome! They were the best I had seen in years! I'm hoping he can get outta work early to go to the O's game my mom had tickets for on the 7th. I'm looking foward to that so much! My mom, dad, and I had a cookout for my family to meet Chris last night. He fits in so well...just as I knew he would. Everyone told me how wonderful he was...and I'm glad they all thought so, it's not like he's going anywhere! We all had a great time and had waaaaaaaay too much food. I'll be eatting ribs and chicken for days! Aside from the occassional dinner out with mom and dad, going to the movies (I've seen The Longest Yard and Kingdom of Heaven), and chiropractic appointments...my days are pretty much the same. And I'm not saying that in a bad way...I'm enjoying the predictability. I just think I have too much time on my hands in the afternoon...I've begun to worry...a lot. My first "baby" appointment is Thursday...I'm just scared...I want to know that the baby is okay. I'll be so upset if I can't hear a heartbeat...sometimes the dopplar can't pick up the heartbeat because of the babies position...but, I want to hear the words "Everything's looking great!" from a medical professional. Like I said...I'm just worried. My mother has reassured me that she can't see why the baby wouldn't be fine...I'm young, healthy, haven't had any problems to speak of, and I've been doing the best I can to eat well and take care of myself. I don't know...I guess it's just mommy jitters...the nagging thoughts that never go away. But, from what I can tell, I'm going to forever worry about this child...from now until the day I'm gone. I guess I should just get used to it :) Ahhh well, I know it'll never get easier, and that's okay...I'm not alone in this challenge, even tho I do feel alone in my worries...I really should share with Chris how I feel, I just can't worry him too, he's been so happy, and so excited. I think I can wait until Thursday...not too much longer until I know for sure that everything is as it should be. So, until then...I think I'm gonna go...I need lunch and a shower...I have to work today at 245...even tho all I want to do is curl up on the couch with Chris when he gets home from work and just feel safe and secure...oh well, 8pm will get here soon enough and I will get to do just as I wish :) I hope everyone reading this is doing well, I miss hearing from you guys! Please, leave me a note and let me know how you're doing...

~*Jen and wittle baby*~